Why in-her game(tm)?

There is a Descartesian divide in PU of separating inner vs. outer games. Do people who succeed are required to have both strong inner and outer games? There's the David D (like many who came into the community thru his brilliant marketing) who talks a great deal about inner game, having a strong frame etc. Then there are guys like Mystery, who focuses more on techniques in order to get the results. I had a long discussion about guys who have strong inner game tend to be almost delusional, despite their beliefs, they don't achieve much results. So what is the right balance?

I like quantifiable results. At the end of the day/nite, when we cut through the b.s. about self-improvement, becoming a better self, etc. We are in this to get girls. Yes, it's quite a shallow goal. Do we need to take this long detour of self-improvement, developing a strong inner game,... just to get girls? I believe that innergame should not be about girls, it should be about having and exuding confidence, rule #1. It's not about how much girls want me, that belief, by itself, is flawed. I am who I am in spite of whether girls wanting me, my happiness and self-esteem should come from within, not to be validated by how much girls want me. The take it and leave it attitude, or in Brad P's words, "Blow me or blow me out." Or stated in a different way, Sinn discussed about being indifferent.

Then where does that leave us? Outer game goes beyond the words we spit out and games/routines we run. If we don't make a strong impression, yes, the dreaded "looks." Then we will have no chance to run any game. Why are certain guys much better at this than others? Where they improve so much faster, they are the rising stars? It's not because they got game, I would contend it's their looks. Contrary to community beliefs, I'm willing to bet that most fat girls have plenty of self-esteem, a strong inner game than skinny good looking girls. With a few exceptions, would any of us want to talk to those fat girls? Looks, in the case for guys, presentation matters. I noticed a huge difference in results when I changed my wardrobe. PU, similar to having a gf, is a very expensive hobby. Until people have health and wealth sorted out, don't even bother to participate in the game.

The solution isn't to just think girls wanting us. We should think more about ourselves, what makes us happy, no, it's not girls. We need to get our shit together. We have to work on being at peace with ourselves, being happy with who we are, not needing to do PU in order to be happy, it's not: I have to do this so I can move on with my life. There's also a balance, we can't live in a cocoon thinking we are some mack daddies when we are not getting laid; similarly, like fat girls who think they are BBW, when there's no beauty in being fat.

With inner game, it's about being a confident person who is leading a fun and exciting life (rule #10). With outer game, we first have to develop an attractive look. Then we can work on becoming social. These are just stepping stones. Ultimately, we have to push our interactions, rule #9. We will have drinks thrown in our face, we will get slapped, we might even get kicked out of venues. If we don't experience failures, we haven't reached nor explored our limits. It's not about making the ho say no, it's about making her submit, by leading. This is all about being in-her game. No amount of thumb twiddling thinking how girls want us or staring at the mirror admiring our look matters. The goal isn't the how guys say we are good, or how much we can scam off other guys, it is about being in the vagine. Really, it's that simple, if you are not in her, all your inner and outer games mean nothing.

Alanis Morissette: "We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect."

What makes us tick

I'm a bit behind in my move and left my server (computer) at my old place. So I brought along a laptop to the new place so I don't get internet withdrawal. Normally, I prefer my thinkpad with its trackpoint that I so fondly use to move the mouse pointer around... Since its wireless is a bit flakey, I brought along the other laptop, with the touchpad instead.

I could go write a long rant'n'rave about how much I prefer trackpoint over touchpad. But I digressed, I made the best of the situation and learned to customize the touchpad properties, like its tapzones, etc. This got me thinking. I'm one of those guys, when I install programs, I almost always choose "Custom." When I am about to double-click something the first time, I would use the right mouse click to see what other options there are. When I get my hands on a new gadget/toy, I want to figure out how it works, what I can do with it. When I meet someone, I want to figure out what makes him/her tick.

Perhaps that's why my mentor a few years back suggested I devote a small part of my life to doing research, figure how stuff works, and then incorporate that into my practice. Before I started clinical work, I was busy tinkering with computers, applying math I learned to doing simulation, which got me into graphics to visualize results of simulations, then user interface design so that I could manipulate objects and "programming" simulations, and eventually, I started learning how to use scripts to bring modular programs to work and communicate with each other.

Why this tangent and how it relates to PU? I wouldn't say I was happy with my dating life, I certainly have had gf's before and I was not a complete social retard. Then I join the community thinking I was going to learn more about picking up girls. Surprisingly, I learned about a great deal of human interactions. Sadly, most of it from the politics between guys trying to out maneuver each other, basically, guys were too busy seducing each other instead of out getting girls.

When confronted with any novel situation/object, I tend to do a distant meta-analysis of it. The only conclusion, as I just discussed with another friend about people in the community, is that guys who are in this have no other life experience except this. Perhaps this is their only transformative experience. Since they only have work or school before, the only thing they can apply to any social situation is to go back to their same old behavioral patterns, politics. They don't go out to have fun with other people, but constantly scheming, planning, comparing, calculating, competing,... with each other, while they have missed the real goal of PU community, we are supposed to share what we learned, develop some techniques based on our experience, and ultimately, we are in this to get girls. As misogynistic as this may sound, the tip of our knives, the barrel of our guns, and the glans of our penises should not be pointing at each other, instead, they should be directed toward the vagines... or the anoos... of the female kind.

If guys do NOT set aside their anti-social tendencies that got them into the community in the first place, they will never get to have friends, uh, "reliable wings." I think the next phase of the community is not about having more natural game, it's about having a more organic game, one we don't just go in oozing out our agendas and projecting neediness. If guys are frustrated, figure out how to relieve their problems elsewhere, going out is about having fun being social. Be a man, a straight man, go get girls, not guys.

Oh I don't know...

why you're not fair
I give you my love
but you don't care
So what is right
and what is wrong
gimme a sign.

I previously blogged how we Americans are constantly chasing after our dreams, so I can see how we do not have any passion because we are too busy improving ourselves. The whole rat race and one up manship, instead of focusing what truly makes us happy. Much of what makes us happy doesn't take that any work. After exhausting themselves after two World Wars, I venture to guess that most Europeans learn to appreciate the simple fact of being alive, and to use this precious moment to be happy, rather than having this relentless drive to improve, to be better, etc. The stereotypical image of Parisiens sitting at a cafe, sipping slow drip coffee, watching riverboats meandering river Sienne, pops into my brain. Just chillaxing...

The lack of overall passion is disturbing; there's more to just having a passion. Very few of us have the luxury of combining what makes us happy into our profession, instead of imbuing ourselves with a vision/purpose that serves a greater purpose, we jump into the proverbial ball in a hamster cage and keep on running toward an imaginary and ultimately, an unattainable goal. That's how we set up this feed forward chase cycle. I suspect that's why some feel this emptiness in their gut. So they are constantly in search of the one seminar, the one workshop, the one class, the one girl, the one secret formula of success that fill their collective empty core. At best, they are still hopeful enough to look for solutions to their problems, and for those who are frustrated with their lack of direction in life, some would resort to blame and to lash out at others.

Speaking for myself, I find that when I improve the condition of someone who was suffering, I feel better. They give me that ego boost, that sigh of relief that I have served my purpose. Almost as gratifying as seeing that agonizing O-face that girls make, just before they about to gush forth their liquid joy... finally relaxing into contentment. That is as close as I can describe how I feel when I get to pursue my passion.

Best of luck to those who are still in the chase... to hunt for your passion!

No more!

When is it enough? How did people get by without all these self-improvement workshops, seminars, support groups, "communities,"...? People around me talked about this and complained that some are workshop junkies, etc. Then a friend invited me to go with him to a promotional seminar for The Millionaire Mind Intensive workshop. Okay, I have to confess that I'm quite judgemental... I looked around the room. I had this distinct feeling that those people there and I were functioning at different levels.

There is a uniquely American phenomenon, the crazed drive for self-improvement, to chase after that Horatio Alger myth, the American dream. Unlike much of the old world, where our station in life would be pre-determined; social mobility is rather limited and much of it is accomplished through marriages rather than pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. Due to the amalgamation of different cultures, people, and the overall feeling of having a fresh start among immigrants, we all think we can strive to better ourselves, to improve, to change, and to be better than our parents.

From my limited knowledge and perspective, this started by Freud, followed by the American obsession with psychology, fueled by commercialism of advertisements, and some distilled the same sale techniques to develop this whole new industry. I would put everything under the self-improvement category. Within it are different niches, wealth building, health maintenance, and more recently, the seduction community.

Sure, I am all for improving myself. Do I really need to commit so much of my limited resources (mostly time) to this when I have more pressing matters? Like doing my job well, managing my life and relationships with others. Back to the promotional seminar, I met up with many guys from the community. The funny thing is they sounded so alike, almost brainwashed to spew forth the same crap; but they have done nothing to improve themselves. They would go to one seminar after another, just as some guys in the community taking one workshop/bootcamp after another. The problem isn't just going to subscribing to one after another, but these dudes are deluding themselves to think that if they keep going to seminars, they will become millionaires, "pickup artists," whatever else without actually doing the hardwork of making things happen. They would learn about hypnosis, destroying limited beliefs, changing their money blueprint, voice training, salsa dancing, improv, working on innergame, everything else EXCEPT actually going out and talking to girls!

I'm willing to bet that they also spend much of their days reading up, "contributing" to forums, listening to tapes, and at the end of the nite, alone and probably masturbating to their "girl friends" on facebook or myspace instead of the actual act of pounding the vagine. I am by no stretch of imagination to be any good at this pickup b.s. However, I am definitely not buying into this whole community b.s. about doing bootcamp, workshop, fixing problems. Sure, our parents probably didn't have that many sex partners, they certainly are successful enough to leave behind progeny, us. I doubt that they went through the same b.s. that we are trying to learn, practice, do, and help ea other.

When I see and read about people signing for workshops, bootcamps, seminars... I just want to go up and smack these dumbasses upside their heads. Instead of giving up one's responsibility of doing self-improvement to one's coach(es), why not do what self-improvement is suppose to do... by oneself. Just like self-esteem should be coming from within oneself. I wrote this before: Happiness comes from within, not from without. No amount of money, time, energy, and effort will worth a damn until people start doing. There's a whole industry of leeches who feed off our craving for something more, something better,... when we have all that we need to be better, ourselves. So stop reading this blog and go do something about your life, don't be an addict, be a man!

Baby don't hurt me...

Leaving ethical and philosophical argument aside, for the greater good of the body/person, each cell within us is capable of committing suicide. There's an elaborate system of cellular machinery within each and every cell that will quietly kill the cell, if sensors of that cell-death machinery are triggered. The rationalization is that if something bad happens to or within that cell, it would rather die than to mutate or act in ways that would hurt the rest of the body.

Failure of such system can be one potential cause of cancer. For example, DNA modified by radiation that mutated the gene to either nonfunctional form (in the case of an anti-tumorigenic gene) or to an overactive form (gain of function in a proto-oncogene), that cell undergoing multiple mutations will lead to a "cancerous" state. Usually, self-check or by immune cell surveillance would detect this change and the cell is either self-induced to die (by apoptosis) or to be killed by immune cells. This way, the irradiation damage is limited, contained within that one dead cell and not be spread, or to affect other nearby cells.

In fact, most cells in the body are "programmed" to die by default without the proper growth factors and other environmental factors. This self-induced death is quiet in the sense that nearby cells or local immune cells will clear the debris without causing inflammation; i.e., the death is quiet but not silent. The same molecular machinery within cells that are used to die, as it turns out, I discover that they can be used for functions other than cell death. There's a growing corpus of literature that shows these cell death enzymes are used for both physiologic and pathologic functions without leading to cell death.

The importance of this discovery can be categorized at multiple levels. At the epistemological level, there is a distinct connection between form and function. Cell lives and dies by changing its form. At the scientific level, this provides a novel insight into mechanisms of cellular differentation, fusion, fission, chemotaxis, apoptosis, proliferation and growth. At the medical level, we can deduce how the body regulates both normal (physiologic) and in response to disease/injury/harm (pathologic) activities using the same set of enzymes. This would provide a list of candidate targets for drug development.

What is love?!

Microsoft has made us less productive by releasing bug ridden programs and unstable operating systems. The best joke I read was on a friend's away message: The day that Microsoft releases a product that doesn't suck is when it makes a vaccuum cleaner! This was from a Microsoftie. Although Microsoft wasn't defanged, it has became synonymous with crappy products. What if the company makes great products, slowly but deliberately are taking over our lives, do we still need to fear it? Despite Google's do no evil motto, I think it's quite dangerous a company has gathered so much data about us and is controlling so many aspects of our lives.

The ultimate evil is the idea of love. It's marketted, branded, and often something we all should seek and strive. This came up in a discussion about this video:

Haddaway - What is Love

We were talking about that special something, that sparkles, that makes a relationship worthwhile. If it was a drug, it makes us miss it in its absence, reminisce about those precious moments. Do we need that obsessive thinking pattern in order to qualify the relationship as being in love? How long can we sustain that emotional fire?!

With internet nowadays, we all can indulge in our collective perversions, in the privacy of our LCD screen(s) and our eyeballs. There are plenty of underground communities that turns a simple indulgence into a full fledge fetish. I confess I check this sick humor site on a regular basis. There are also amazing stuff I've found like the following, I'm not sure who is parodying whom!

FR: Boundaries

Awhile back I blogged about compartmentalization I created in my life to prevent different roles/aspects of my life from interfering each other. The same concept can be applied for interactions with different social circles. When we talk about PU, however, I believe that in order to be successful, the ones who are willing to push the envelope, violate others' boundaries whether through naïveté or deliberate action is a necessary requirement for success.

Much is described and discussed about being alpha, having a great inner game, exactly what that means, what can we distill out of it? I propose that one attribute to be people who are daring, curious to discover and perhaps, to violate social boundaries. The first thing that bootcamps stress and work on is to get guys to approach girls. That alone is an invasion of someone's boundaries; we sometimes have to break into a group and be able to dominate that group order to control the conversation. The act by itself is alpha, it shows someone who isn't afraid of violating boundaries of others. Although the community is moving toward "natural game," whatever that means, just because we appear less like dancing monkeys doesn't mean we don't push the interaction.

The difference between the traditional relationship and one that PUA cultivates is that the latter requires rapid escalation. Many guys in trying to make moves on girls hesitate because they are afraid of rejection, not sure what to do next, and eventually, they lose out. Since we have the roadmap of reaching that final destination, then we need to step on the gas pedal and get there as quickly as possible. Sure, we can take time to enjoy certain moments, but the goal is the vagine, not getting one's ego stroked by other cocks.

Back in Vegas, we were waiting in line for cabs, there were a few really hot young girls standing behind us. I felt this compelling need to be an ass and teased them, of course, that blew open the set. What came next was interesting, one of the hotter girls was with her bf, we talked about cutting in line, etc, just verbalizing hijinks we all wish we could do. Instead of just fucking around, I had her wrapped her arm around me, her other hand was pulling her girlfriend, we started walking up and they couldn't handle the social pressure. Her bf didn't mind, but the girl was afraid of violating social boundaries, so she hesitated and turned back.

Even though I lost her and her friend, another taller and even hotter girl in the same group noticed what happen, we started small talk and eventually, she was all over me. This girl was 5'11 + 6" heels, I never had a girl that tall wanted to take pictures with me, kissing me, and taking more pictures of us. This goes back to my original point, we can talk about many alpha characteristics, one that I think is crucial is the ability to push the interaction, not afraid of push social boundaries, personal boundaries of others, and to see how far one can get away.

The kicker of this was on the day that I was flying back home. We had a great time eating lunch together so I ended up about 45 minutes before flight takes off. I somehow got to the terminal with only 15 minutes to spare and got on the plane. That's another story for another time.