Unplugged from the community
The community is the matrix. Many in the community talk about society as the matrix and how joining the community is their moment of taking the red pill. The reality is that the community itself is the matrix, not the other way around. The matrix is powered by the hopes, dreams, and fantasies of these lovable losers. The best thing anyone in the community can do for himself is to leave the community once he has gotten the approach anxiety under control.
I've been discussing with friends about who get results, as in having sex regularly like normal people, the list of those in the community is short, quite short. In fact, I have a suspicion, the next scandal that will bust open this community will be similar to what happened to the Catholic Church in the last decade, that most guys in the community are closet gays. How any guy can develop the fear of girls is beyond me... Didn't we used to play with girls on the playground when we were kids? Didn't we grow up with friends, both guys and girls? Don't we live with and work with girls? How guys become such worshipers of women, I don't get it. I seriously didn't bother to rank girls on a 1-10 scale until I joined the community. Before, I had a very simple criteria, she's either fuckable because I'm attracted to her or she isn't; instead, guys in the community set up these artificial barriers so that they can measure, compare, compete with each other. Are they really that hard up for validation from each other, loveable losers?
Slowly but surely, I have gotten to know many guys in the community, I discovered how miserable they really are. They bitch and whine, but never take action to change their lives. They are obsessed with competing with each other, not in terms of actually getting girls, but more for attention from guys. Worst yet are those delusional enough to think that they can make money teaching people, to change lives of others, when they haven't done anything to improve their own. Of course, in order for them to maintain their reputations, they would embellish and even write up fake reports in order to garner attention (and again) from guys. They are more interested in dating, uh, sarging with each other than hanging out with girls! I mean, really, what are we in this for... more men or women?
At this point, I realized that I was better off going out alone, meeting people and befriending normal people. That's when I rediscover what the real society is like. There's no point in running game. I simply gave up gaming people. People started to invite me part of their groups, because I don't want anything from them, their attention, their approval, their attraction/IOI, their girls, etc, instead, I bring value, I am fun and social and connected. I'm also not so hard up about sex because it comes naturally whenever and wherever, without running awkward gambits. Yes, community routines work and I have fun running them, but in order to run them successfully, we simply can't be such try-hards.
For those who are still in the community after all these years and for those who obviously have no game, but are still trying to pretend to be dating coaches. Good luck! Because many people are wising up to their tactics in seducing guys. There will be more products, more techniques, more methods, more coaches, what we need is what we already have. The only way to get good is to have experience, and experience comes by going out, interacting with people, don't care about results, if and when something happens, great... otherwise, it's another fun night out with friends. You do have "friends" not just another newbie guy you met off the lair?!
8 comments:
If you really weren't are part any more, why are you writing this.
And appearently you gained experiece because of routines. You say so your self. You say that we can't learn from each other. Would you call mystery or style losers or virgin. They do something right, or they wouldn't be so successful.
Yes there are some blind poeple that coach other blind people. There are gurus, that aren't good themselves with women. But don't say that you cannot learn from others. There are a lot of kwowledgable people in the community that do know the right stuff.
I'm writing this to offer another path for people, do not hang around with community people forever.
Mystery, Style, and other gurus probably have some skills and I have no doubts that they had & have women in their lives. I'm referring to many more dating coaches who infest most lairs. The successful gurus is a testament to their ability to market themselves... not in their ability to get women.
Knowledgeable people don't stay in the community and share their knowledge for free. Most people are in this for money and fame, not for girls anymore. That's why I have a sneaking suspicion that they are gays... as in wanting to get guys more than girls.
i'll certainly agree with most of this. i left my city's lair meeting early last weekend because i was so disgusted. however, i am one of those rare people who developed a fear of romance with girls due to various reasons and the community has helped me a lot in my path back to normalcy.
If you really want to understand where this guy is coming from, read the following article.
http://articles.venusianskills.com/articles/350/1/A-Long-List-Of-Ways-The-Seduction-Community-Can-Make-You-Weird/Page1.html
Thanks for pointing that out... I posted it a few days ago.
The community should be a stepping stone, an unnecessary one for many. Now members of the community are captives for marketeers.
I think your offering a valuable perspective by articulating how unhealthy it is to get caught-up in the community mind-set. Still, I think community teachings are beneficial to a lot of guys, especially as a counter to much of their female/feminist-based assumptions on how to be attractive to women.
I'm not calling you out or anything, but you do seem to be a little incongruent: From what I can tell (admittedly, I haven't looked deep into your blog), you gained a lot from the community, but now you completely poo-poo it. It's like you wish that you never needed it, and now you're feeling shameful for all that sarging/the bootcamp(s)/etc.
I can relate: I feel weird about my involvement with the community (I'm a newb and not a lair member, but I know a few guys and am trying to subtly integrate some stuff into my life). I know I can benefit from it, because though I'm socially astute and not a bad-looking guy, I had never approached a woman in my life before. However, I feel weird about it and I agree that lots of the guys involved in this are creepy, and I hide my involvement with some of my "real" friends.
I'd be curious to read your honest assessment of how the community changed your life. I'm not sure if you ever were an AFC, but if so, do you think you'd still be one without the community teachings? Are you grateful for the people you've met and stuff you learned?
Community materials are great... so are _SOME_ ideas in it. Like most areas in life, the problem is rarely the ideas, but their practitioners.
I have met some great friends out of the community... that's like 2-3 guys out of nearly 500. The funny thing is that these guys were already normal before they joined the community. So can you find normal guys in the community? Very difficult.
That's why I'm all for people LEARNING, APPLYING community materials, to make new friends, normal fun social ones... OUTSIDE of the community.
Ok, I think I agree with you. You're right: The whole lair thing is a bit gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). The lair in my town promotes itself as a fraternity. I suppose it is one, but of course there are no corresponding sororities to play with, so it's all about the brotherly love :).
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