Monday, November 17, 2008

The anti-community community

I sometimes feel like I live in an echo chamber and a world filled with me-too's. How come people rarely if ever come up with their own original thoughts? Or worst yet, they would just join the latest bandwagon, by being anti-community. Before anyone participates in any type of community, they have to ask themselves this one question?

How will my participation in this community makes me a better person? In other words, do the activities of this group and its members share my beliefs and values? How will we (as a group) improve the lives of people around us? I am no altruist but most groups exist for one singular purpose: to expand by using its members. Most people in the community are not here to get girls, but to use other lonely boys and men for profits, especially those "gurus" or the early adopters/movers. Like most pyramid schemes out there, those who got in on the scam early will get to live off the backs of newcomers.

Take meeting women as an example. Men and women have been getting together forever. If it's such a difficult task, our population would have crashed and none of us would exist today. So despite how difficult it is made to be, according to many "seduction lairs/groups," men and women are still hooking up without any help. Sure, there are some slow learners and/or learning disabled individuals, they should get help to treat their problems. Most problems that these groups claim to address are not the root cause. The problem with people not getting girls is that they don't have many friends and they don't have friends because they are anti-social. Anti-social behaviors can stem from biological and psychological roots, and teaching someone social skills would end up making that person robotic.

As much as I believe in people helping themselves, the reality is that some people just don't get it and will never get it. Not all of us are born winners. We can't all be above average. The belief that everyone can be somebody is idiotic. That's why so many Americans subscribe this crazy notion called the American Dream. It doesn't exist, some of us are inherently better at certain tasks than others. The reality is that people who sell these dreams will try to flame the hope of losers within the community that they will be somebody eventually. Which leads to my next point.

There is an inherent drive for information to be free so most "techniques" and/or "methods" are freely available. So there's no reason for people to pay to acquire them. They are useless until people put the information into use anyway. And from what I've found, most information is just a rehash of what has been talked about before. This gets back to my initial comment, that most people don't have original thoughts and being pack animals, they get together to become yet another me-too in almost any community.

If you want to find the answer, as lame as this sounds, people should become more self-empowered by the knowledge that the answer lies within. Most anti-social idiots in the community know that deep down they are anti-social, so instead of learning to be social and be better with people, they turn to "coaches" to learn some fancy system with techniques and methods in order to get back at those who wronged them, namely, women. If they have taken the responsibility of truly self-improving, they would not have to pay someone for help in self-improvement. Do you not see the irony in that?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The One advice to develop a social lifestyle

Life has been busy, both personally and professionally, so I haven't been able to keep up with the scene and thus, fewer blog posts here. Awhile back someone suggested that I should check out Cameron Teone and I like some of his blog entries. Now, I'm not endorsing him nor do I have the power and audience to have that sort of influence. I like what he posted about how to have the "PUA Lifestyle" without being with community douchebags.

People are often distracted by the greener pastures elsewhere instead of improving and developing their own. Instead of going to become yet-another-wannabe pickup guru, they should learn to be better at their jobs. Learn a new set of skills that will help them get that promotion and/or to earn a higher income. Instead of trying to game every girl in sight, they should befriend people and have a supportive social network of friends, not wings, not PUAs, or gurus that they have to paid in order to get advice on life. Instead of going out to game and steal other people's girls, have more parties at their place so others will introduce more friends into their lives.

I'm definitely not the cleanest nor the neatest guy in my circle of friends and colleagues. But I have met up with community guys, with the exception of the closet-hiding queers, almost all of them have the filthiest, disorganized living spaces ever! Most of these guys are the results of their socio-economic backgrounds, you know the type, they didn't exactly grew up in a well-to-do family so they were never educated on the virtue of being clean, neat, organized, and just plain living the good life. The other case is that community guys are so socially out of touch and mentally unstable that they don't even know what are the right and wrong ways to setup their domiciles. Imagine what would happen if you throw all these guys into a house, a "Project" whatever, they would behave more like rabid dogs at the junkyard, fighting over scraps, eating, pissing, and shitting in the same space. That, my friends, is why all Projects fail and why you should not share your living quarter with another guy in the community.

I just did something I don't like to do, i.e. to expand on what someone else, Cameron, already posted. I'm just adding some personal experience and anecdotes of why guys should learn what techniques they need and leave the community. For the most part, I have completely distanced myself away from community guys because I now realize they are almost all losers. Getting girls doesn't solve their deep seated biological, mental, psychological, and financial issues. Social life is like the icing on the cake, if people don't have the foundation to have a normal life, they won't have a social life. And social life is also a reflection of a person's success in life. Lack of a social life is only an indication, a signal that someone should take a good look at their own life, because the cause isn't the lack of social skills, but something deeper and will take longer to fix, which are usually a combination of their physical, mental, and financial health.

Monday, November 3, 2008

One-trick pony

If all that you can talk about is other people, without much insight into who you are, what you want to do, and where you want to be in life, then it's time to start. The problem with people not being able to have and keep relationships going is that they don't have a rich and varied life. I thought back to my time that I spent with guys in the community, I now realize that it's a community of people without success not just with women, but in living their lives because they constantly and desperately want things from others instead of enriching everyone around them.

I still keep up with the community, but mostly through blogs and podcasts. One recurring theme is that some guys are very good at what they do, hooking up with girls, is that they spend all their time in doing this and in order to support their habits, they have to hustle money from other guys; i.e. teaching bootcamps, selling ebooks, touring, and promoting subscription-based schemes to get guys to join. But beyond keeping up with the social fads, they have nothing else going for them, they don't have a professional career, they have no future in anything else but trying to become the next Tony Robbins, David D,... No wonder why they can't keep friends (beyond the community) around and definitely incapable of having any meaningful relationship with an independent, successful, and stable girl.

So if you are still hanging around with other guys in the community, ask yourself if this: if I were not out hitting on girls, what else would I do to enrich the lives of myself and others? Day in and day out, I see people constantly trying to hustle each other for favors and more notably, money. But they really don't bring anything else to the table. They are not concerned with the welfare of each other. They evaluate their friendship based on what they can get out of it instead of bettering everyone involved. If I may generalize, that's why people in the community are predominantly libertarians, socially awkward, and most importantly of all, unable to work with others. Instead of correcting their problems, they misdirect their focus on trying to be alpha, leader of men, and of course, they end up being the leader of a bunch of social retards and financial failures.

Those people with their focus on improving the lives of others are naturally surrounded by people and they don't have to work so hard for approval and acceptance. Instead of trying to be someone, work on being a normal, social, and friendly person. Surround yourself with supportive people you admire and not people who will undermine your success. For example, people who make money on your failures and lack of success, i.e. dating coaches, are not the right people. If you think about their business model, they don't make money if you are happy and have girls in your life. People with a vested interest in your success will naturally become your mentors, if you allow them.