Groundhog day

I feel weird coming back here to blog about my recent experience of running into a community guy. As much as I like to make fun of guys in the community, I feel sorry for them, for doing the same shit, day-in and day-out, for years and not waking up from the nightmare they call life.

In retrospect, my experience of spending time with other community guys was a learning process, of discovering myself, who I am, what I can do, and ultimately, a lesson of what not to be. My recent run-in with this guy, who has been in the community for nearly 10 years, confirms to me of why this blog existed, to steer people away from the community. This person has spent tens of thousands, living in an apartment, made no progress of becoming a better person, for nearly a decade, he still wanted me to go "sarge" with him.

This was foreshadowed in how I saw him, with another community dude, dressed over the top, standing at the edge of a party, talking as though they are two gay dudes trying to figure out a place where they can go suck off each other. Instead they hovered for nearly 30 minutes without making progress of befriending people around them, and from my conversation with this community dude, the other guy turned out to be his instructor, with this attitude. Sure, I didn't dressed as sharp as this guy, but I was among friends, having a good time, and surrounded by girls. Whereas this instructor, with no one else around, was giving me attitude. Seriously, when will these social retards wake up to discover, they are not the clever guys out to get girls, they are the outcasts from the social life of society?!

The statement that sent me laughing and posting here again was the student's statement to me: "Hey dude, let's hang out..." which I hesitantly responded "Sure, what do you want to do?" Yes, you guessed it, he replied without blinking, "Let's go sarge!" Uh, sure man, let's go hang around with a bunch of socially awkward retarded dicks, talk about game, when we have absolutely no girls around and if I were to bring them any girl, they would hound the girl like crazy and creep her out. To them, every night is the same old thing, going out, creeping girls out, pissing other people off, in the mean time, these idiots think they are gaming society, and of course, they end up going home as how they came out, alone. Keep it up! Because they would get to suck ea other and screw ea other, as a community of gay brotherhood of sargers.

What makes us tick...

I haven't blogged in a long time because I haven't felt the need to write until I just read a recent post from Cameron Teone on Identity & Purpose. I feel if we do nothing else in life, we should at least pursue this one mission, the difficult journey that many would rather avoid & seek simple easy solutions, to find our own identity & purpose.

There will always be new fads, new ideas, new methods,... but they don't address the core fundamental issue, which is identity & purpose, who we are and what we want to do with our lives. There are many ways of searching for them. Some work and most don't. How I discovered my purpose is to examine what I do daily and what I do if no one is watching or paying me to do.

The problem with people seeking self-help in general is that they don't look within themselves for answers. They constantly seek outside for help (which is ironic when you think about it) and they search for leads outside instead of addressing the true cause of their unease, unhappiness. So they go from one method to another, one guru to another, and never really spend the time required to look deep within and to discover that they should be their true self & pursue their true purpose.

A celebrity-obsessed culture that belittles us all

Perhaps it's my upbringing, that I learned early on to draw strength from within and inspiration from immediate people around me, rather than celebrities. Are people's lives so empty that they would become devastated that a hyped-up media star passed away?!

Sure, we all admire talented individuals, but to see people crying, the endless tweets and facebook status updates that go on and on about the recent passing of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, I have to wonder, do people live their own lives anymore?! Yes, it's tragic that someone died, but when we place celebrities above us all, we have, in effect, allow them to have undue influence on our lives. If we start to examine our own lives, what we can do to improve ours and those around us, then we would have a better, more cohesive and harmonious world. Instead, at least in America, we are constantly goaded by the media, to celebrate, to aspire to, and to dream to become among these celebrities.

When I started this blog over two years ago, I was sucked into this whirlwind of becoming somebody, when in reality, I was and still am somebody to people who care about me and vice versa. Why are we so obsessed with seeking approval from others?! A celebrity-obsessed culture is the hallmark sign that we have taken the wrong turn, we don't value each other and those around us, but we constantly chase this image that marketeers conjured up and profiteers use to hustle us. Think of memorabilia, think of what media companies will make off his death by selling us more craps that we don't need by playing on our emotions.

We all should take a step back, re-examine our lives, re-prioritize our goals, and re-evaluate our progress, instead of getting whipped into this media frenzy. Think about what is important, be with people who accept us already, instead of getting herded into the mosh pit to grief for celebrities who really should not be that influential in our lives. I know there is a downside to not wishing to become celebrities, there will be fewer starlets, fewer porn stars, and more responsible adults. May be, just may be, we will have a more productive society that doesn't squander our time and energy but to focus them on those immediately around us and who we really are, rather than what we are told to be.

Living on the backs of idiots

I came across an article that says that in America, there are more outlets for pay-day loan lenders than all MacDonald's and Burger King combined! This got me thinking of a whole slew of things we benefit from idiotic and/or irresponsible adults.

Back when I got my first credit card a long time ago, it has a very low interest rate (by today's standards) and Discover card was the only card company that had this new gimmick of giving 1% cash back (only if you fulfill their long list of requirements that few people do). Now, there are so many credit cards out there with free miles, free points, and even cash back > 1%! Then I realized that credit card companies are not becoming more efficient with the 2% that they collect from merchants, but rather, they are making money off idiots who are carrying balances from month to month at a 20something to 30% interest rate. Of course, let's not forget the huge finance charge and late fee!

Then I look at the whole self-help industry, and especially the seduction community. Here we have a relative large population of guys, who were born book smart, studied a lot, worked hard, and are making a decent salary. With their excess income, they spend on cars, clothes, and condos, but none of that bring them happiness, and guess what? A few geniuses come along to tell them, "Hey, what you are missing in your life is girls! Can you imagine if people love you, respect you, and even have sex with you instead of cursing you each time their computer crashes or program freezes!"

So these guys buy into the whole belief system that they can be somebody, pay their way into an endless supply of pussies, and buy their way into the hearts and minds of people, yes, by becoming PUAs! This is almost like guys going to pay-day loan office because they can borrow a huge sum without having to work for it. Or guys who think that credit card is a cheap and easy way to get a loan, to borrow against their future without having to put in the hard work!

While all that is going on, these self-hype gurus are thriving on the stupidity of these IT guys. Yes, I'm singling IT guys out, and I'm sure that only guys will well-paying jobs can afford to take bootcamps. Sure, there are some inspirational stories of guys scraping by to take workshops, the reality is that only guys with extra money can afford these workshops. So they think they can buy happiness, respect, admiration, love, and sex. What they don't realize that all of those can be achieved the old fashion way, being that social connector, being that guy who is great with everyone, and life is so much easier when we don't have to support these leeches on society by becoming victims of self-hype gurus.

The end and the new beginning

When I started this journey two years ago, I just experienced a very personal loss in my life, no, not because a girl dumped me. That loss has left a wound in my life, thought it may never heal but it has continued to serve as a reminder to me, how I must cherish life and to value all those around me. However, I made one critical mistake in my state of grief, I gave up my own identity in trying to change into someone else.

A recent loss reminds me that once again of what is important to me in my life, it's about what I do that defines who I am. This blog was started less as a chronicle of my transformation but more out of frustration in discovering who I am, in developing a specific set of social skills. In the past two years of my journey, I have learned a great deal about myself: who I am, how others are, and more importantly, how we each play a role in two specific spheres, society and the market economy.

In blogging for the past 2 years, I had some insights just from writing and even more from interacting with readers & commentators. Of course, I also developed some lasting friendships. But starting today, I am moving on from this blog, I feel this blog has served its purposes and I might revisit some topics that I've discussed here. My focus in my new blog is more about what I do regularly: examining issues in depth, look beyond the marketing hypes, challenge what we are told, and determine the underlying motive, mechanism, and how we can use that to benefit ourselves.

Once I've finalized the new blog, I will redirect readers & visitors there.

Consistency, not fantasy

Every year, people knowingly make resolutions and few if any of those resolutions stick. Rather than chasing the impossible, we all would be better off in establishing simple habits so that we work gradually toward a final goal.

One of my many goals for last year was to develop a budget and stick to it. I have used Quicken on and off since 2001 and I have never been able to keep track of all my expenses. The first habit I establish was to learn to record all my expenditures. This habit took me nearly 1 year to develop and I have been able to do that consistently by setting aside a specific time in my schedule every week to get caught up on all my receipts.

Once I have established the habit of recording my all my incomes and expenditures, then I was able to see a pattern in where my money was going by grouping items in my record into categories: e.g., rent/mortgage, insurance premiums, utilities, and groceries into essential expenses, and then non-essential expenses such as shopping, movies, dining out, trips, etc. Along the way, one motivation that drove me to keep recording and working on my budget sheet wasn't the reward in how much money I saved but rather learning how to use Excel.

Part of my new job at that time was to process large-scale datasets within Excel and do further analyses inside databases. By combining work with what I do for fun at home, I was able to learn some new skills while saving money at the same time. People in business would call that synergy, I was just being lazy by combining two projects into one.

That's the trick with establishing habits, there must be incremental and immediate reward for habits to stick. Take losing weight for example, this isn't something that can be done overnight and for many people, this is a lifetime of struggles and most fail. The reason they fail is that most of them don't see the immediate and incremental reward. I started my workout regimen with a few buddies, many drop off because they couldn't stick to it, but those remain, we became very good friends in the process. Part of that workout regimen was the social aspect of hanging out with friends so the workout process wasn't tedious.

Back to the budget, after I have tracked my incomes and expenditures for nearly 1 year, it took me another 6 additional months to gradually taper down my non-essential spending to within my budget. Finally, the reward is to see how much I have increased in my savings and the interest I earn on a monthly basis. Another secret to having goals is to maintain a pattern of continuous improvement. Now that I have substantial savings, my next goal is to invest what I've earned into higher yield investment vehicles. That's another reason why people fail to loose weight, imagine that they have lost all that weight, what's next? For almost all of them, if they don't have any idea of what to do next, I'm sure they will revert back and regain all that weight.

As human beings, we improve by making incremental and continuous changes into habits. We establish habits by having consistency and self-discipline. There are tricks we can play with how we perceive ourselves. Instead of striving for lofty fantasies, we are better off taking small steps slowly.

Unnecessary mental gymnastics

Most of you probably know about Steve Pavlina and his blog. From his writing, I suspected that he is aware of the PUA community and not surprisingly, he started blogging about polyamory and his reasons for his participation. He went on and on and on to justify his interest, the real reasons are rather simple.

Let's be honest about our interest in having sex. There's really no need at all to justify our desire for sex, it is genetically programmed into us. And if someone has the opportunities to have as many sex partners as possible, and for many web-celebrities, bloggers included, why not? Why go through the whole Cirque du Soleil mental contortions of logic to present his case?! His desires don't require a rocket scientist or a neurosurgeon to explain. A 13-year-old boy can express them. What is interesting is that a 13-year-old boy probably doesn't realize that with money, Pavlina has acquired the power in his current marriage to exercise his desires. Imagine if he was a wannabe-PUA living with his current wife and 2 kids without his current 6-figure income, do you think she would let him to fulfill his desires?! That's how many celebrities (including but not limited to Hugh Hefner) have been doing for years. With fame and fortune, sex is readily available.

Another more sinister reason is that he is trying to generate traffic to his blog. Like all blogs, experiments and problems generate drama, that emotional discordance causes people to engage in more discussions which naturally will draw in more participants. I remember when I first started this blog, just the fact that I blogged about tidbits on how lame the real seduction community really is was enough to draw in readership. So with this new year, I will continue to blog, with a keener and more skeptical view on what goes on in the world, not just the blogosphere and the community.

The best way to get girls is have fame and fortune, short of that, most guys will end up with other losers and try to seduce each others. With that in mind, I will start blogging about other subjects that I have been pursuing.

The anti-community community

I sometimes feel like I live in an echo chamber and a world filled with me-too's. How come people rarely if ever come up with their own original thoughts? Or worst yet, they would just join the latest bandwagon, by being anti-community. Before anyone participates in any type of community, they have to ask themselves this one question?

How will my participation in this community makes me a better person? In other words, do the activities of this group and its members share my beliefs and values? How will we (as a group) improve the lives of people around us? I am no altruist but most groups exist for one singular purpose: to expand by using its members. Most people in the community are not here to get girls, but to use other lonely boys and men for profits, especially those "gurus" or the early adopters/movers. Like most pyramid schemes out there, those who got in on the scam early will get to live off the backs of newcomers.

Take meeting women as an example. Men and women have been getting together forever. If it's such a difficult task, our population would have crashed and none of us would exist today. So despite how difficult it is made to be, according to many "seduction lairs/groups," men and women are still hooking up without any help. Sure, there are some slow learners and/or learning disabled individuals, they should get help to treat their problems. Most problems that these groups claim to address are not the root cause. The problem with people not getting girls is that they don't have many friends and they don't have friends because they are anti-social. Anti-social behaviors can stem from biological and psychological roots, and teaching someone social skills would end up making that person robotic.

As much as I believe in people helping themselves, the reality is that some people just don't get it and will never get it. Not all of us are born winners. We can't all be above average. The belief that everyone can be somebody is idiotic. That's why so many Americans subscribe this crazy notion called the American Dream. It doesn't exist, some of us are inherently better at certain tasks than others. The reality is that people who sell these dreams will try to flame the hope of losers within the community that they will be somebody eventually. Which leads to my next point.

There is an inherent drive for information to be free so most "techniques" and/or "methods" are freely available. So there's no reason for people to pay to acquire them. They are useless until people put the information into use anyway. And from what I've found, most information is just a rehash of what has been talked about before. This gets back to my initial comment, that most people don't have original thoughts and being pack animals, they get together to become yet another me-too in almost any community.

If you want to find the answer, as lame as this sounds, people should become more self-empowered by the knowledge that the answer lies within. Most anti-social idiots in the community know that deep down they are anti-social, so instead of learning to be social and be better with people, they turn to "coaches" to learn some fancy system with techniques and methods in order to get back at those who wronged them, namely, women. If they have taken the responsibility of truly self-improving, they would not have to pay someone for help in self-improvement. Do you not see the irony in that?

The One advice to develop a social lifestyle

Life has been busy, both personally and professionally, so I haven't been able to keep up with the scene and thus, fewer blog posts here. Awhile back someone suggested that I should check out Cameron Teone and I like some of his blog entries. Now, I'm not endorsing him nor do I have the power and audience to have that sort of influence. I like what he posted about how to have the "PUA Lifestyle" without being with community douchebags.

People are often distracted by the greener pastures elsewhere instead of improving and developing their own. Instead of going to become yet-another-wannabe pickup guru, they should learn to be better at their jobs. Learn a new set of skills that will help them get that promotion and/or to earn a higher income. Instead of trying to game every girl in sight, they should befriend people and have a supportive social network of friends, not wings, not PUAs, or gurus that they have to paid in order to get advice on life. Instead of going out to game and steal other people's girls, have more parties at their place so others will introduce more friends into their lives.

I'm definitely not the cleanest nor the neatest guy in my circle of friends and colleagues. But I have met up with community guys, with the exception of the closet-hiding queers, almost all of them have the filthiest, disorganized living spaces ever! Most of these guys are the results of their socio-economic backgrounds, you know the type, they didn't exactly grew up in a well-to-do family so they were never educated on the virtue of being clean, neat, organized, and just plain living the good life. The other case is that community guys are so socially out of touch and mentally unstable that they don't even know what are the right and wrong ways to setup their domiciles. Imagine what would happen if you throw all these guys into a house, a "Project" whatever, they would behave more like rabid dogs at the junkyard, fighting over scraps, eating, pissing, and shitting in the same space. That, my friends, is why all Projects fail and why you should not share your living quarter with another guy in the community.

I just did something I don't like to do, i.e. to expand on what someone else, Cameron, already posted. I'm just adding some personal experience and anecdotes of why guys should learn what techniques they need and leave the community. For the most part, I have completely distanced myself away from community guys because I now realize they are almost all losers. Getting girls doesn't solve their deep seated biological, mental, psychological, and financial issues. Social life is like the icing on the cake, if people don't have the foundation to have a normal life, they won't have a social life. And social life is also a reflection of a person's success in life. Lack of a social life is only an indication, a signal that someone should take a good look at their own life, because the cause isn't the lack of social skills, but something deeper and will take longer to fix, which are usually a combination of their physical, mental, and financial health.

One-trick pony

If all that you can talk about is other people, without much insight into who you are, what you want to do, and where you want to be in life, then it's time to start. The problem with people not being able to have and keep relationships going is that they don't have a rich and varied life. I thought back to my time that I spent with guys in the community, I now realize that it's a community of people without success not just with women, but in living their lives because they constantly and desperately want things from others instead of enriching everyone around them.

I still keep up with the community, but mostly through blogs and podcasts. One recurring theme is that some guys are very good at what they do, hooking up with girls, is that they spend all their time in doing this and in order to support their habits, they have to hustle money from other guys; i.e. teaching bootcamps, selling ebooks, touring, and promoting subscription-based schemes to get guys to join. But beyond keeping up with the social fads, they have nothing else going for them, they don't have a professional career, they have no future in anything else but trying to become the next Tony Robbins, David D,... No wonder why they can't keep friends (beyond the community) around and definitely incapable of having any meaningful relationship with an independent, successful, and stable girl.

So if you are still hanging around with other guys in the community, ask yourself if this: if I were not out hitting on girls, what else would I do to enrich the lives of myself and others? Day in and day out, I see people constantly trying to hustle each other for favors and more notably, money. But they really don't bring anything else to the table. They are not concerned with the welfare of each other. They evaluate their friendship based on what they can get out of it instead of bettering everyone involved. If I may generalize, that's why people in the community are predominantly libertarians, socially awkward, and most importantly of all, unable to work with others. Instead of correcting their problems, they misdirect their focus on trying to be alpha, leader of men, and of course, they end up being the leader of a bunch of social retards and financial failures.

Those people with their focus on improving the lives of others are naturally surrounded by people and they don't have to work so hard for approval and acceptance. Instead of trying to be someone, work on being a normal, social, and friendly person. Surround yourself with supportive people you admire and not people who will undermine your success. For example, people who make money on your failures and lack of success, i.e. dating coaches, are not the right people. If you think about their business model, they don't make money if you are happy and have girls in your life. People with a vested interest in your success will naturally become your mentors, if you allow them.

Free Levi and Sarah

Many in the community think that the only way to get laid is to go through bootcamps and practice a thousand sets. If they just look around, they would see how rampant sex is, even among those ring-wing religious zealots in America! Many are not surprised at all that Jamie Lynn Spears got knocked up, but Bristol Palin... the daughter of the governor of Alaska?! The real tragedy, however, is the poor Levi who inseminated her. If you have missed this, please go join this campaign!

Then this past weekend, that cringe-inducing, face-covering, I-am-embarrassed-for-her Sarah Palin interview by Katie Couric.

Once again, I find myself agreeing with some conservatives, we need to free Palin. We need to send her back to the wilderness of Alaska and let her go kill more moose! To pull her from the backwater of America and shove her onto the world stage, haven't we done enough to the world after years of Dubya?!

Someone said it best, Dubya spent the first 4 years destroying America and the second 4 years destroying the world. I think we have done enough, not just to the world and America, but we must stop torturing that poor Palin. She epitomizes what's wrong with the current administration, the stupidity & bravado of Dubya, along with the secrecy & treachery of Cheney.

What about McCain? I don't consider him a war hero, plenty of people went to war and got captured. Countless prisoners of war have been tortured. He didn't do more or less than any American P.O.W. in Vietnam. To hold him up as a hero while neglecting the rest is simply disrespectful to everyone who served this country. If that isn't enough, this is the same guy who returned to his faithful wife, then proceeded to commit adultery and claimed that his experience as a P.O.W. caused him to do that. Normally, I don't care if who people have sex with, but in his case and those self-proclaimed moralists, I hold them to the same standards that they forced on others. And his current wife was one of many women he had sex with during his adulterous period while he was still married to his first wife. Don't get me started on how many U.S. Navy planes he crashed.

Why is McCain important, because this senile old man and advisers he has inherited from Dubya are holding these two individuals prisoners. They plucked two poor souls out of their natural environments and are forcing them to do unspeakable acts. The poor kid, Levi, just had sex with a girl and now he has to marry her. The former runner-up beauty queen was happily lording over her little domain and now she has to face national scrutiny.

Please join me in calling your local Republican office, tell them to free Levi & Sarah, send them back to Alaska!

McCain and Obama debate drinking game!

Stock up on booze, invite your friends over, if the idea of watching two egomaniacs debate turns them off, sell your friends on the idea of boozing! People exist to repeat past behaviors and they don't usually step outside of their habits. So there will be plenty of repetitions of their buzzwords and talking points.

• Every time Obama or McCain says: change; drink!
• Obama says: hope; drink!
• McCain says: my friends; drink!
• McCain or Obama says: god, faith; drink!
• Obama says: Yes we can; finish your drink!
• McCain says: I was a POW; finish your drink!

You are free to add more to the list. Seriously, invite your friends over for a great Friday night party! Girls love to dress up (or down)... make it a costume party, they can come in a slutty or white trashy Sarah Palin using their new names. Guys can dress up if they want, now if you make it optional and whoever dresses up is queer!

Setting up a budget that works!

So you've done the following:

1. Monitor your income and expense for about 3-6 months
2. You have a set of goals for savings and investing
3. You are pretty good spending less than what you've earned

The next step is to set up a budget. List the major sources of income and expense for an entire year, pre-tax, tax, and post-tax. Be sure to include items that occur every quarter, 6 months, annually or bi-annually,... Then using data that you've collected in the previous 3-6 months, you can guess at how much you earn and spend on a monthly basis in several major categories.

The idea behind a budget is to group expenses together into categories so that you can monitor the flow of money through each category. I like to group my necessities into categories: mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, car/transportation, tax, and insurance premiums.

The major problem that I've encountered is that I don't like getting hit with a big bill every 6 months, 1 year, or 2 years, for insurance premiums, maintenance fees, excise fees, and/or taxes. My solution is to create a savings account that I deposit money into on a monthly basis, because that's how I've divided up my annual budget into 12 monthly budgets. By setting my own escrow funds for paying periodic bills, I have accomplished two things: 1. my monthly budget is stable so I don't have periodic spikes, and the most best motivation of all, 2. I earn a high-yield interest by depositing it into an online savings account. Email me if you want recommendations.

Now that you have allocated money to spend in each category, be sure to reserve some extra funds to the following: 1. emergency fund (savings only to cover expenses for at least 6 months), 2. retirement fund (for savings and investing), and most important of all, 3. fun fund. The last one is an up-to-date tracking of my projected difference between incomes and expenses after I have allocated funds for both (1) and (2). Then I know how much I can spend for the rest of the month!

The reason this is important is that for many people, they can simplify this by carrying that much cash with them. But with credit cards and ATM's so readily available, we have a tendency to spend more by just swiping our cards to pay for impulse purchases. If I know how much I can spend collectively using all those payment methods, I can restrain myself if I were about to make an impulse purchase.

Furthermore, any left over from the previous month, I can save them up for trips, vacations or major purchases in a high-yield online savings account. I may go into how I subdivide that account in future posts. After all, the reason for budget is to divide up how we allocate our money so that we can achieve our financial goals.

How to be fun

The first sign of fun, even though we shouldn't look for it, is that everyone just don't give a shit. We don't care what others outside of our immediate circle think, as long as we are in on the joke and we are amusing ourselves. There are many community terms for this, being in state, being unstifled, and I think they are all gay. Normal people call it be yourself, having fun, or just plain, don't give a shit.

The second step of having fun is to be able to not just to keep up with jokes but to exaggerate, build on or go over the top of ongoing jokes. Take how Sarah Palin and her genius ideas of naming her kids. No one every thought of it, but she named them by their place of conception, by the Track and at Bristol Bay. Now that we discovered her home town is the meth capital of Alaska, her grandkid will naturally be called, Tweeker. If that's not enough, go get your own at the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator!

And I'm Mounty Bat Palin, MBP, bitches! So if you want to start a conversation with any random stranger, go with your new Sarah Palin-inspired name. It doesn't matter what we say, the idea is to take people you interact with on this journey with you. The art of charisma, charm, whatever else that the latest marketing gurus decide to use isn't about some schematic of how to talk to girls. This leads me to the third important point, you must have something else going on with your life. This blog is an outgrowth of what's happening in my life.

In fact, I often joke with friends and strangers that I'm going to blog about whatever we are talking about. So initial conversations with people don't have to be a serious exchange of information. They can be about silly topics and that's how people gauge how compatible they are with each other. Laughter is a positive emotion, there are others that we can evoke as the interaction progresses. You can buy books that go on and on about letting go, being in the moment, knowing yourself,... Even I have blogged about them. It all comes down to just don't give a shit. Those who care too much about what others think are the same people with approach anxiety, fear of rejection, constant need to feel validated, being alpha, being the best, and all those community-induced psychosociopathologies.

What this is all about...

To my dear readers, no news on the dating front but I've been preoccupied with the current political campaigns and the ongoing economic meltdown. Life is about letting go and I hold on to what's dear to me. After nearly a decade, the community is turning into yet another self-help niche. There's a new idiot born every minute who will buy into it.

Luckily, most readers of this blog are wising up to the fact that seduction gurus are just out hustling other guys. Meeting people and befriending them are no big deals. Life changes and friendships evolve. The rewarding relationships occur with people who have similar goals, dreams, and aspirations. As cheesy as this sounds, the happiest people are those who know what they want, are working toward their goals, and are surrounded by a supportive social network. I have avoided many people in the community because I have discovered that their goals don't align with mine. The best thing I have done for myself is to move beyond those people.

The best analogy I can think of is my relationship with high school friends, some go onto college and some don't. We continue to maintain friendship with people who end up on the same track as us. I try to include people with as many divergent views as possible. For most people, that circle of friends tend to shrink as they grow older so I'm growing mine as much as I can. But there is a point when we have to maintain a certain set of standards, and community people definitely don't make the cut.

Learn how to pickup from American politicians

I'm sure you've heard the phrase: "Politics is the popularity contest for ugly people." And popularity contests go, they are about hustling people, by convincing the public that you are the one they should pick, not because what you will do, but that you have appealed to their higher ideals! That's what I've learned from watching these two recent political conventions: the trick to hustle the public isn't about what your plan of actions, but first showing that you have something in common with your audience, and that both you and your audience share common ideals, then they should choose you because you are better at helping them to realize their dreams. Of course, you should never ever get into the specifics or even reveal what your plan is.

If you look carefully into any get-rich-quick scheme, self-improvement, self-help, quick fix method, they all talk about what they will show you how to be somebody, get something, achieve your dreams. But before they do that, they backtrack and talk about their journey, where they have been, and because of the method (or a set of techniques) that they will reveal to you, that's how they have achieved their dreams. If these hustlers are even more evil, they will convince you how others are doing it all wrong, which, by implication, tells you that you have failed because you haven't followed their prescription, and only they are your salvation!

Hustlers are very good at cycling back and forth between evoking what you think you want and slowly revealing to you what you need. They never actually give you a plan of actions, or tell you what you must do to realize your dreams. Because you have been conditioned to reject that, from the early days of your parents telling you what to do to your friends who gathered to give you that intervention, hustlers would slowly nudge you along, constantly dangling bits to bait you to buy in some more. Just look at the levels of access you can buy by contributing to a political campaign, or the levels you can attain in martial arts, Scientology,... and even schooling itself, some levels are necessary, but how to live your life, or how to talk & relate to other people, do you really think you need to learn that from someone else?!

And if they truly are good at what they do, why do they need to make money off you. Why don't fortune tellers make money off their own ability to predict the future? Why don't "seducers" have girls making money for them, like prostitutes do for their pimps? Why don't self-help gurus help themselves and become successful... instead of hawking their wares and plying their skills on the unsuspecting public? All because it's easier to make money from people who -- unfortunately, there's no better word for this -- are stupid enough or easily convinced by these hustlers.

Despite what these hustlers tell you, the easiest way to achieve what they have achieved is to be like them. That's why there are so many community guys wanting to be dating coaches, instead of out getting girls. The sad reality is that looks matters, how much money you make matters, what kind of friends you keep matters, who you know matters, and you don't suddenly transform yourself to become a superstar. Thank god for Sarah Palin, she finally changed the phrase: "Politics is NO LONGER the popularity contest for ONLY ugly people!" because she is the living proof a good hustler: she starts out with good looks, ply her trade as a pageant contestant, dabble in and then slowly climb up the political ladder, convince the public that she's the embodiment of their ideals, but never reveal her sordid past, personal failings and failures. So if you want to get girls, watch and learn from politicians, they are better hustlers than any dating coach.

Don't let others get to you

As much as I hate to admit this, I started this blog because I was frustrated and I was at a vulnerable point in my life that I allowed others to get to me. Now that my perspective has changed, people can have as much power over me as I allow them to have.

This is why I try not to compare myself to others. The main obstacle to success starts with a comparison of oneself against one's peers and enemies. The best way to conduct oneself is to live in accordance to one's identity and principles. Funny how this emerged because this blog began with me making some pretty mean jokes at some social retards within the community. Yes, I still think they deserve those jokes, and I underwent a phase of personal growth afterward.

In fact, I have grown because I don't want to be like them. You know there are mentors who inspire us to be like them and there are people who push us away to be not like them. Thanks to those social misfits in the community, I have an opportunity to discover who I am, why I'm not like them, and why I would never want to be like them. Just being among those who have drunk the Kool-aid, I have discovered the whole new world of marketing intimately. How so many people have succumbed to it, neck-deep within it, and probably will never get out of it. Sure, I can continue to make fun of them, hopefully, that would wake them up, or I can just ignore them and continue on a path that fulfills me and those I care about.

As David D would say, I obviously am more cocky than funny, that's why so many people have missed my jokes. The reality is that it really doesn't matter. As long as I don't allow what they do to influence and affect me, I am my own man. I'm glad I started with very little if any ego at all, so I never felt the need to compare with others, or to be good or better than some social retards at pickup because I know my place in this world, standing on top of social misfits is like standing on top of a garbage heap to claim that I'm King of the World. There are so many more worthwhile causes, more meaningful activities to engage in besides getting girls. When I discover that it's better to be more social than to be a try-hard player and fail, I have been pushing for this idea for so long. Another is to do what is necessary to succeed without being predatory on the less fortunate, sure, some of my jokes have been biting and might even be hurtful, but I have yet to benefit from them financially and socially (no, I'm not that popular among community guys for obvious reasons). So for those who have been looking for the in-her game DVD to come out or to sign up for my bootcamp, keep waiting!

Yet another publicity stunt

I'm no industry expert, so I call it as I see it without any behind-the-scene knowledge. Remember after The Game, Style pulled that stunt of training only 4 chosen guys, then he came out with the Annihilation Method (I prefer to call it for what it is, the Anal Method, because he reamed so many guys, including some college students, that I know, who took out student loans to buy it). With that chump change of a few millions, Style started stylelife which has grown for the past 2 years and no one seems to remember to ask him why he has started making money off the game, which he claimed that he has quit!

For nearly a whole year, I thought I was the lone voice in calling out that the seduction / dating community is a rip-off. Many readers have contacted me privately and publicly on my blog to tell me many more stories that these so-called "PUAs" are just scammers, as I have suggested before, that they are better at seducing boys and men, than girls, which is why I called them gay in that sense.

Some of these "self-hype gurus" have came back with more bullshit reasons, like "I want to help men" or "I like to teach." My suggestion is simple, there are plenty of under-served inner-city schools that they can teach and make a real difference in the future generation instead of hustling these over-paid, never-got-laid IT / programmers; of all the many types of skills to teach others, they choose to teach men how to hustle women?! Really, that's what we want more in this society, more hustlers?

The other route that some of these losers have taken is to go a more commercial route. David Deangelo, and no, that's not his real name, has gone back to being Eben Pagan in order to sell to his former "classmates" in marketing schools on how to build a business, which is what DYD is all about, preying on the hopes and dreams of chumps by selling them empty promises, because I guarantee you that few if any of his marks / victims have gotten girls by being "cocky and funny."

Then there are guys like Sean Messenger, and more recently, Tyler Durden (real name: Owen Cook) are going into the self-improvement market; because they too have quit the game (remember Style) and they are ready to help men (don't you get tired of the same old refrain?!). No, as long as they are alive, like Ross Jeffries, they will continue to market to people, all I can do is to encourage that those who know about the history of these scammers to speak up and educate others so that they can avoid this community of victims / marks.

That's the beauty of America. The country that re-invented modern psychology and pioneered its usage in advertising. Everyone wants to and thinks that s/he can achieve that American Dream, if you have any doubt that it doesn't exist, go watch the recent Democratic National Convention speeches. So no, TD is not quitting, neither has Style, and for the past 30 some odd years, Anthony Robbins is still around talking about self-help, NLP, and whatever latest bullshit that they have conjured up. Sure, we can learn a few things and with how the world has changed since, information is so readily available for free, why be the chump to buy their product? Check out the blogs and podcasts of former insiders of this whole scam!

Have a happy Labor Day and if you are in the path of Gustav, stay safe!

Manufactured happiness

A few posts back, I suggested that we have to make a conscious decision to be happy and we must learn to make due with what we have. Guess what? I blogged from my personal experience, and apparently, some smarter people have done research into this and here's the video that I just stumbled onto.

What it comes down to is that the availability of choice is the source of our unhappiness. In other words, if we don't choose to live with what we have/are, then we are condemned to unhappily chase that nebulous, elusive dream.

I stumbled upon this idea that we have to consciously choose to be happy from my personal life. People with limited intelligence, by that, I mean, retards are extremely happy. They are happy in the sense that they are not unhappy. They don't know any better. The other set of people who are relatively happy is older adults; as people get older, opportunities and freedom to choose once available to them no longer exist and they eventually learn to accept their conditions. These are people who are aware of something better but choose to accept their current situation.

This is all well and good, limiting one's ability to choose and accepting reality. I also see some who are also unhappy with themselves, these are individuals who constantly compare themselves against other. I might touch on this topic in the future. For now, I have always emphasize on focus on oneself, what we want, and we will deal with a bigger context in relation to others.

Self-help gurus: the modern day faeries

I pilfered this from a facebook post that a friend made. The article talks about why we still have crazy beliefs, as in gods, witches, faeries, supernatural powers, and other paranormal phenomena. For the charlatans and hustlers, they promote these for personal financial gains. What about for the rest of us? Why do we still have these beliefs?

This story reminds me of another recent article about how optical illusions work and because our brains predict the future in order to compensate for the delay in the arrival of immediate visual information. I wonder if a similar explanation on how we fill in gaps within our knowledge by appealing to something magical. This might also explain why many people like to interpret their dreams. The consensus among cognitive scientists and biologists is that dreaming is important in solidifying memories and for our survival; but there is no good explanation for why and what we dream about, and even the basics of how we dream!

I think the price for having the neocortex to facilitate higher order cognitive functions, one defect is our constant need to fill in gaps within our knowledge base. If we don't get enough information or at the speed required for survival, our brain naturally projects ahead and fills in gaps in order for the world to make sense. What we fill in the gap is often ruled by emotions with deeper psychological origins.

As alluded to by a commenter here, in a society where we have turned not only material goods, but our hopes and dreams, ideas, and even our very own happiness into a commodity, we think we can buy and sell them at a price. Not only have we relinquished our reasoning ability, but we are becoming dependent on others to satisfy our own needs. Back in the early days of the industrial revolution, the cure for depression (and unhappiness) was "industry," as in working harder. With the advent of computers, especially with many IT guys sitting around surfing the net all day without the pressure to produce or physical demands, we have more time to indulge in silly hobbies and preoccupy our minds with ideas bombarded into us by marketeers. I thought this might be a uniquely American phenomenon, but I think with more people sitting around instead of doing physical labor, we have become physically, intellectually, and socially lazy.

We now buy into the whole self-hype movement. What I have noticed recently, and I'm not sure if this is unique to the seduction community, have you noticed how many Jews are in the pickup business? Now, before anyone accused me of being Hitler for outting those gays and incarcerate them into concentration camps, just count how many of them are among the top self-hype gurus: Style, RJ, David D, Thunderfag, Swingcat, Sinn, David X, (half-breed) Savoy,... I don't think that there's any Illuminati-type conspiracy going on, but it is interesting to note that such a disproportionately high number of one ethnic group within a particular community. They become such experts at selling dreams and fantasies to guys. What's your explanation for these faeries?