The lack of posts

I haven't been posting much here because I haven't been growing in this one area of my life. What drives a blog and makes it successful is passion, and due to other obligations in my life, I have redirected my focus and hence, passion, into other areas of my life. I am still interested in improving myself, and if you have kept up with this blog, I still believe that success in life is about developing enduring and resilient social network with successful people.

Not so surprisingly, most people use blogs as a marketing tool and not as a way to disseminate knowledge. Since I don't have anything to market and without new knowledge or insights in this one specific area, I haven't been posting.

I have been debating on whether I should start new blogs on areas that I'm currently passionate about or whether I continue to use this one blog but on different sets of topics. To be continued...

The anti-community community

I sometimes feel like I live in an echo chamber and a world filled with me-too's. How come people rarely if ever come up with their own original thoughts? Or worst yet, they would just join the latest bandwagon, by being anti-community. Before anyone participates in any type of community, they have to ask themselves this one question?

How will my participation in this community makes me a better person? In other words, do the activities of this group and its members share my beliefs and values? How will we (as a group) improve the lives of people around us? I am no altruist but most groups exist for one singular purpose: to expand by using its members. Most people in the community are not here to get girls, but to use other lonely boys and men for profits, especially those "gurus" or the early adopters/movers. Like most pyramid schemes out there, those who got in on the scam early will get to live off the backs of newcomers.

Take meeting women as an example. Men and women have been getting together forever. If it's such a difficult task, our population would have crashed and none of us would exist today. So despite how difficult it is made to be, according to many "seduction lairs/groups," men and women are still hooking up without any help. Sure, there are some slow learners and/or learning disabled individuals, they should get help to treat their problems. Most problems that these groups claim to address are not the root cause. The problem with people not getting girls is that they don't have many friends and they don't have friends because they are anti-social. Anti-social behaviors can stem from biological and psychological roots, and teaching someone social skills would end up making that person robotic.

As much as I believe in people helping themselves, the reality is that some people just don't get it and will never get it. Not all of us are born winners. We can't all be above average. The belief that everyone can be somebody is idiotic. That's why so many Americans subscribe this crazy notion called the American Dream. It doesn't exist, some of us are inherently better at certain tasks than others. The reality is that people who sell these dreams will try to flame the hope of losers within the community that they will be somebody eventually. Which leads to my next point.

There is an inherent drive for information to be free so most "techniques" and/or "methods" are freely available. So there's no reason for people to pay to acquire them. They are useless until people put the information into use anyway. And from what I've found, most information is just a rehash of what has been talked about before. This gets back to my initial comment, that most people don't have original thoughts and being pack animals, they get together to become yet another me-too in almost any community.

If you want to find the answer, as lame as this sounds, people should become more self-empowered by the knowledge that the answer lies within. Most anti-social idiots in the community know that deep down they are anti-social, so instead of learning to be social and be better with people, they turn to "coaches" to learn some fancy system with techniques and methods in order to get back at those who wronged them, namely, women. If they have taken the responsibility of truly self-improving, they would not have to pay someone for help in self-improvement. Do you not see the irony in that?

The One advice to develop a social lifestyle

Life has been busy, both personally and professionally, so I haven't been able to keep up with the scene and thus, fewer blog posts here. Awhile back someone suggested that I should check out Cameron Teone and I like some of his blog entries. Now, I'm not endorsing him nor do I have the power and audience to have that sort of influence. I like what he posted about how to have the "PUA Lifestyle" without being with community douchebags.

People are often distracted by the greener pastures elsewhere instead of improving and developing their own. Instead of going to become yet-another-wannabe pickup guru, they should learn to be better at their jobs. Learn a new set of skills that will help them get that promotion and/or to earn a higher income. Instead of trying to game every girl in sight, they should befriend people and have a supportive social network of friends, not wings, not PUAs, or gurus that they have to paid in order to get advice on life. Instead of going out to game and steal other people's girls, have more parties at their place so others will introduce more friends into their lives.

I'm definitely not the cleanest nor the neatest guy in my circle of friends and colleagues. But I have met up with community guys, with the exception of the closet-hiding queers, almost all of them have the filthiest, disorganized living spaces ever! Most of these guys are the results of their socio-economic backgrounds, you know the type, they didn't exactly grew up in a well-to-do family so they were never educated on the virtue of being clean, neat, organized, and just plain living the good life. The other case is that community guys are so socially out of touch and mentally unstable that they don't even know what are the right and wrong ways to setup their domiciles. Imagine what would happen if you throw all these guys into a house, a "Project" whatever, they would behave more like rabid dogs at the junkyard, fighting over scraps, eating, pissing, and shitting in the same space. That, my friends, is why all Projects fail and why you should not share your living quarter with another guy in the community.

I just did something I don't like to do, i.e. to expand on what someone else, Cameron, already posted. I'm just adding some personal experience and anecdotes of why guys should learn what techniques they need and leave the community. For the most part, I have completely distanced myself away from community guys because I now realize they are almost all losers. Getting girls doesn't solve their deep seated biological, mental, psychological, and financial issues. Social life is like the icing on the cake, if people don't have the foundation to have a normal life, they won't have a social life. And social life is also a reflection of a person's success in life. Lack of a social life is only an indication, a signal that someone should take a good look at their own life, because the cause isn't the lack of social skills, but something deeper and will take longer to fix, which are usually a combination of their physical, mental, and financial health.

One-trick pony

If all that you can talk about is other people, without much insight into who you are, what you want to do, and where you want to be in life, then it's time to start. The problem with people not being able to have and keep relationships going is that they don't have a rich and varied life. I thought back to my time that I spent with guys in the community, I now realize that it's a community of people without success not just with women, but in living their lives because they constantly and desperately want things from others instead of enriching everyone around them.

I still keep up with the community, but mostly through blogs and podcasts. One recurring theme is that some guys are very good at what they do, hooking up with girls, is that they spend all their time in doing this and in order to support their habits, they have to hustle money from other guys; i.e. teaching bootcamps, selling ebooks, touring, and promoting subscription-based schemes to get guys to join. But beyond keeping up with the social fads, they have nothing else going for them, they don't have a professional career, they have no future in anything else but trying to become the next Tony Robbins, David D,... No wonder why they can't keep friends (beyond the community) around and definitely incapable of having any meaningful relationship with an independent, successful, and stable girl.

So if you are still hanging around with other guys in the community, ask yourself if this: if I were not out hitting on girls, what else would I do to enrich the lives of myself and others? Day in and day out, I see people constantly trying to hustle each other for favors and more notably, money. But they really don't bring anything else to the table. They are not concerned with the welfare of each other. They evaluate their friendship based on what they can get out of it instead of bettering everyone involved. If I may generalize, that's why people in the community are predominantly libertarians, socially awkward, and most importantly of all, unable to work with others. Instead of correcting their problems, they misdirect their focus on trying to be alpha, leader of men, and of course, they end up being the leader of a bunch of social retards and financial failures.

Those people with their focus on improving the lives of others are naturally surrounded by people and they don't have to work so hard for approval and acceptance. Instead of trying to be someone, work on being a normal, social, and friendly person. Surround yourself with supportive people you admire and not people who will undermine your success. For example, people who make money on your failures and lack of success, i.e. dating coaches, are not the right people. If you think about their business model, they don't make money if you are happy and have girls in your life. People with a vested interest in your success will naturally become your mentors, if you allow them.

Being true

I cringe every time someone says John McCain is a hero. Yes, that's true, and so are the rest of his fellow POWs along with those who made the ultimate sacrifice. At some point, we have to stop this hero-worship. McCain did what he was expected to do as a soldier and those who served with him, suffered alongside with him, all acted heroically, but they are not egotistical enough nor power-hungry enough to want to be the POTUSA. And those who served and suffered alongside with him, they have not been among the Keating Five.

Granted that McCain did rehabilitate his political career by transforming himself into the Maverick, was it truly a change from within, or was he just a good politician? He also did another about-face after Dubya got elected in 2000. For lashing out at the conservatives who demonized him to courting their votes. Is this a man stable enough to have access to nuclear weapons that can potential destroy the world? He has done all that he could do to realign himself so that he can win.

I'm all for winning, but only if that person is truly the most qualified person for the job. Imagine the International Olympic Committee giving the gold medal not to the guy who won the race but to the guy who tried the hardest or someone who was a POW. That was John McCain's reason for cheating and ultimately divorcing the mother of his children; the woman who remained faithful to him while he was a POW! His excuse for philandering was that he was suffering PTSD due to his experience as a POW. This is a man, with nothing else going for him in his life, who has been milking POW status for way too long. And among the women who he had extramarital affairs, one of which is the current Cindy McCain, whom he married before he was legally divorced from his previous wife.

If he hadn't been shot down while bombing Vietnam, we would have to examine his Navy career. So in McCain's hands, he lost 4 airplanes and one mishap. Can you imagine what our country would be like if an average Navy pilot caused that many accidents?! I normally don't hold people to such a high standard. I truly don't care if people commit adultery, that's an issue between those within their respective relationships. I only point out his because his party is holding everyone else to such a high standard. Imagine if Obama or Biden had been in the Navy, and they also caused as many accidents AND was palling around with those responsible for the Keating Saving and Loans debacle.

As Chris Rock joked about in his latest HBO special, Dubya has ruined this country to the point that even a black man can run for the Presidency. I hope Obama wins, not just because McCain is unqualified, reckless, and crazy, but because Obama is qualified and he can bring this country together to heal. The Republicans have been ruling this country for too long by dividing us. If these people hate government so much, they should stop running this country and make way for those who truly care.

Hopefully, there will be enough people who recognize McCain for what he is, the failure who is the quintessential politician, which I wouldn't mind if he has truly served this country instead of crashing planes and palling around with the same group of people who have been robbing us.

Free Levi and Sarah

Many in the community think that the only way to get laid is to go through bootcamps and practice a thousand sets. If they just look around, they would see how rampant sex is, even among those ring-wing religious zealots in America! Many are not surprised at all that Jamie Lynn Spears got knocked up, but Bristol Palin... the daughter of the governor of Alaska?! The real tragedy, however, is the poor Levi who inseminated her. If you have missed this, please go join this campaign!

Then this past weekend, that cringe-inducing, face-covering, I-am-embarrassed-for-her Sarah Palin interview by Katie Couric.

Once again, I find myself agreeing with some conservatives, we need to free Palin. We need to send her back to the wilderness of Alaska and let her go kill more moose! To pull her from the backwater of America and shove her onto the world stage, haven't we done enough to the world after years of Dubya?!

Someone said it best, Dubya spent the first 4 years destroying America and the second 4 years destroying the world. I think we have done enough, not just to the world and America, but we must stop torturing that poor Palin. She epitomizes what's wrong with the current administration, the stupidity & bravado of Dubya, along with the secrecy & treachery of Cheney.

What about McCain? I don't consider him a war hero, plenty of people went to war and got captured. Countless prisoners of war have been tortured. He didn't do more or less than any American P.O.W. in Vietnam. To hold him up as a hero while neglecting the rest is simply disrespectful to everyone who served this country. If that isn't enough, this is the same guy who returned to his faithful wife, then proceeded to commit adultery and claimed that his experience as a P.O.W. caused him to do that. Normally, I don't care if who people have sex with, but in his case and those self-proclaimed moralists, I hold them to the same standards that they forced on others. And his current wife was one of many women he had sex with during his adulterous period while he was still married to his first wife. Don't get me started on how many U.S. Navy planes he crashed.

Why is McCain important, because this senile old man and advisers he has inherited from Dubya are holding these two individuals prisoners. They plucked two poor souls out of their natural environments and are forcing them to do unspeakable acts. The poor kid, Levi, just had sex with a girl and now he has to marry her. The former runner-up beauty queen was happily lording over her little domain and now she has to face national scrutiny.

Please join me in calling your local Republican office, tell them to free Levi & Sarah, send them back to Alaska!

McCain and Obama debate drinking game!

Stock up on booze, invite your friends over, if the idea of watching two egomaniacs debate turns them off, sell your friends on the idea of boozing! People exist to repeat past behaviors and they don't usually step outside of their habits. So there will be plenty of repetitions of their buzzwords and talking points.

• Every time Obama or McCain says: change; drink!
• Obama says: hope; drink!
• McCain says: my friends; drink!
• McCain or Obama says: god, faith; drink!
• Obama says: Yes we can; finish your drink!
• McCain says: I was a POW; finish your drink!

You are free to add more to the list. Seriously, invite your friends over for a great Friday night party! Girls love to dress up (or down)... make it a costume party, they can come in a slutty or white trashy Sarah Palin using their new names. Guys can dress up if they want, now if you make it optional and whoever dresses up is queer!

Setting up a budget that works!

So you've done the following:

1. Monitor your income and expense for about 3-6 months
2. You have a set of goals for savings and investing
3. You are pretty good spending less than what you've earned

The next step is to set up a budget. List the major sources of income and expense for an entire year, pre-tax, tax, and post-tax. Be sure to include items that occur every quarter, 6 months, annually or bi-annually,... Then using data that you've collected in the previous 3-6 months, you can guess at how much you earn and spend on a monthly basis in several major categories.

The idea behind a budget is to group expenses together into categories so that you can monitor the flow of money through each category. I like to group my necessities into categories: mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, car/transportation, tax, and insurance premiums.

The major problem that I've encountered is that I don't like getting hit with a big bill every 6 months, 1 year, or 2 years, for insurance premiums, maintenance fees, excise fees, and/or taxes. My solution is to create a savings account that I deposit money into on a monthly basis, because that's how I've divided up my annual budget into 12 monthly budgets. By setting my own escrow funds for paying periodic bills, I have accomplished two things: 1. my monthly budget is stable so I don't have periodic spikes, and the most best motivation of all, 2. I earn a high-yield interest by depositing it into an online savings account. Email me if you want recommendations.

Now that you have allocated money to spend in each category, be sure to reserve some extra funds to the following: 1. emergency fund (savings only to cover expenses for at least 6 months), 2. retirement fund (for savings and investing), and most important of all, 3. fun fund. The last one is an up-to-date tracking of my projected difference between incomes and expenses after I have allocated funds for both (1) and (2). Then I know how much I can spend for the rest of the month!

The reason this is important is that for many people, they can simplify this by carrying that much cash with them. But with credit cards and ATM's so readily available, we have a tendency to spend more by just swiping our cards to pay for impulse purchases. If I know how much I can spend collectively using all those payment methods, I can restrain myself if I were about to make an impulse purchase.

Furthermore, any left over from the previous month, I can save them up for trips, vacations or major purchases in a high-yield online savings account. I may go into how I subdivide that account in future posts. After all, the reason for budget is to divide up how we allocate our money so that we can achieve our financial goals.

How to be fun

The first sign of fun, even though we shouldn't look for it, is that everyone just don't give a shit. We don't care what others outside of our immediate circle think, as long as we are in on the joke and we are amusing ourselves. There are many community terms for this, being in state, being unstifled, and I think they are all gay. Normal people call it be yourself, having fun, or just plain, don't give a shit.

The second step of having fun is to be able to not just to keep up with jokes but to exaggerate, build on or go over the top of ongoing jokes. Take how Sarah Palin and her genius ideas of naming her kids. No one every thought of it, but she named them by their place of conception, by the Track and at Bristol Bay. Now that we discovered her home town is the meth capital of Alaska, her grandkid will naturally be called, Tweeker. If that's not enough, go get your own at the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator!

And I'm Mounty Bat Palin, MBP, bitches! So if you want to start a conversation with any random stranger, go with your new Sarah Palin-inspired name. It doesn't matter what we say, the idea is to take people you interact with on this journey with you. The art of charisma, charm, whatever else that the latest marketing gurus decide to use isn't about some schematic of how to talk to girls. This leads me to the third important point, you must have something else going on with your life. This blog is an outgrowth of what's happening in my life.

In fact, I often joke with friends and strangers that I'm going to blog about whatever we are talking about. So initial conversations with people don't have to be a serious exchange of information. They can be about silly topics and that's how people gauge how compatible they are with each other. Laughter is a positive emotion, there are others that we can evoke as the interaction progresses. You can buy books that go on and on about letting go, being in the moment, knowing yourself,... Even I have blogged about them. It all comes down to just don't give a shit. Those who care too much about what others think are the same people with approach anxiety, fear of rejection, constant need to feel validated, being alpha, being the best, and all those community-induced psychosociopathologies.

What this is all about...

To my dear readers, no news on the dating front but I've been preoccupied with the current political campaigns and the ongoing economic meltdown. Life is about letting go and I hold on to what's dear to me. After nearly a decade, the community is turning into yet another self-help niche. There's a new idiot born every minute who will buy into it.

Luckily, most readers of this blog are wising up to the fact that seduction gurus are just out hustling other guys. Meeting people and befriending them are no big deals. Life changes and friendships evolve. The rewarding relationships occur with people who have similar goals, dreams, and aspirations. As cheesy as this sounds, the happiest people are those who know what they want, are working toward their goals, and are surrounded by a supportive social network. I have avoided many people in the community because I have discovered that their goals don't align with mine. The best thing I have done for myself is to move beyond those people.

The best analogy I can think of is my relationship with high school friends, some go onto college and some don't. We continue to maintain friendship with people who end up on the same track as us. I try to include people with as many divergent views as possible. For most people, that circle of friends tend to shrink as they grow older so I'm growing mine as much as I can. But there is a point when we have to maintain a certain set of standards, and community people definitely don't make the cut.

Why she will win...

Sarah Palin, VP-ILK'08!

Learn how to pickup from American politicians

I'm sure you've heard the phrase: "Politics is the popularity contest for ugly people." And popularity contests go, they are about hustling people, by convincing the public that you are the one they should pick, not because what you will do, but that you have appealed to their higher ideals! That's what I've learned from watching these two recent political conventions: the trick to hustle the public isn't about what your plan of actions, but first showing that you have something in common with your audience, and that both you and your audience share common ideals, then they should choose you because you are better at helping them to realize their dreams. Of course, you should never ever get into the specifics or even reveal what your plan is.

If you look carefully into any get-rich-quick scheme, self-improvement, self-help, quick fix method, they all talk about what they will show you how to be somebody, get something, achieve your dreams. But before they do that, they backtrack and talk about their journey, where they have been, and because of the method (or a set of techniques) that they will reveal to you, that's how they have achieved their dreams. If these hustlers are even more evil, they will convince you how others are doing it all wrong, which, by implication, tells you that you have failed because you haven't followed their prescription, and only they are your salvation!

Hustlers are very good at cycling back and forth between evoking what you think you want and slowly revealing to you what you need. They never actually give you a plan of actions, or tell you what you must do to realize your dreams. Because you have been conditioned to reject that, from the early days of your parents telling you what to do to your friends who gathered to give you that intervention, hustlers would slowly nudge you along, constantly dangling bits to bait you to buy in some more. Just look at the levels of access you can buy by contributing to a political campaign, or the levels you can attain in martial arts, Scientology,... and even schooling itself, some levels are necessary, but how to live your life, or how to talk & relate to other people, do you really think you need to learn that from someone else?!

And if they truly are good at what they do, why do they need to make money off you. Why don't fortune tellers make money off their own ability to predict the future? Why don't "seducers" have girls making money for them, like prostitutes do for their pimps? Why don't self-help gurus help themselves and become successful... instead of hawking their wares and plying their skills on the unsuspecting public? All because it's easier to make money from people who -- unfortunately, there's no better word for this -- are stupid enough or easily convinced by these hustlers.

Despite what these hustlers tell you, the easiest way to achieve what they have achieved is to be like them. That's why there are so many community guys wanting to be dating coaches, instead of out getting girls. The sad reality is that looks matters, how much money you make matters, what kind of friends you keep matters, who you know matters, and you don't suddenly transform yourself to become a superstar. Thank god for Sarah Palin, she finally changed the phrase: "Politics is NO LONGER the popularity contest for ONLY ugly people!" because she is the living proof a good hustler: she starts out with good looks, ply her trade as a pageant contestant, dabble in and then slowly climb up the political ladder, convince the public that she's the embodiment of their ideals, but never reveal her sordid past, personal failings and failures. So if you want to get girls, watch and learn from politicians, they are better hustlers than any dating coach.

Don't let others get to you

As much as I hate to admit this, I started this blog because I was frustrated and I was at a vulnerable point in my life that I allowed others to get to me. Now that my perspective has changed, people can have as much power over me as I allow them to have.

This is why I try not to compare myself to others. The main obstacle to success starts with a comparison of oneself against one's peers and enemies. The best way to conduct oneself is to live in accordance to one's identity and principles. Funny how this emerged because this blog began with me making some pretty mean jokes at some social retards within the community. Yes, I still think they deserve those jokes, and I underwent a phase of personal growth afterward.

In fact, I have grown because I don't want to be like them. You know there are mentors who inspire us to be like them and there are people who push us away to be not like them. Thanks to those social misfits in the community, I have an opportunity to discover who I am, why I'm not like them, and why I would never want to be like them. Just being among those who have drunk the Kool-aid, I have discovered the whole new world of marketing intimately. How so many people have succumbed to it, neck-deep within it, and probably will never get out of it. Sure, I can continue to make fun of them, hopefully, that would wake them up, or I can just ignore them and continue on a path that fulfills me and those I care about.

As David D would say, I obviously am more cocky than funny, that's why so many people have missed my jokes. The reality is that it really doesn't matter. As long as I don't allow what they do to influence and affect me, I am my own man. I'm glad I started with very little if any ego at all, so I never felt the need to compare with others, or to be good or better than some social retards at pickup because I know my place in this world, standing on top of social misfits is like standing on top of a garbage heap to claim that I'm King of the World. There are so many more worthwhile causes, more meaningful activities to engage in besides getting girls. When I discover that it's better to be more social than to be a try-hard player and fail, I have been pushing for this idea for so long. Another is to do what is necessary to succeed without being predatory on the less fortunate, sure, some of my jokes have been biting and might even be hurtful, but I have yet to benefit from them financially and socially (no, I'm not that popular among community guys for obvious reasons). So for those who have been looking for the in-her game DVD to come out or to sign up for my bootcamp, keep waiting!

A different perspective on "pickup"

This is what seduction/dating gurus would like us to believe. They either have a huge repertoire of routines to microcalibrate for every conceivable situation -OR- the exact amount of woo & intent that almost all girls (or as TD would say, 99% of all girls will have a great interaction with him) will wet their panties... all because the guy has the right body language, the proper tonality & voice, and the perfect verbal game. Sadly, the reality is quite different.

What usually happen is that these self-hype gurus go around talking to girls, some will be amused, but most girls will end up ignoring these weirdos; on a good night, they might end up with a few numbers, which MANY drunk girls will give out because they want to feel validated. Most of the time, both the guru and the girl are so hammered with their respective beer-goggles end up going home together. Most guys getting into this might not believe this, there are girls go out explicitly to get drunk in order to get laid because these girls are just as desperate. The trick isn't in what to do or say, but in finding the right venue, talking to those girls, and with a low enough standard, you too will go home with them.

Let's step back for a second and think this through, if a girl is successful, decent looking, socially savvy, with supportive friends and family (as in well-adjusted), do you think she would go out to bars to hook up with some random dudes?! There's a slim chance that such a girl exists despite what our intuition would say, but the possibility of meeting that one special girl is almost like winning the lottery; if you are the type who like to gamble by buying lottery tickets, then this is "the game" that you should play.

But if all you want to do is to get laid, it's quite simple: Get drunk, talk to every girl, and you too will get to go home with some nasty drunk bar skanks. There are many guys, including some readers and commenters on here, who have depression, social phobia or anxiety, and perhaps, personality disorders so they have difficulty in talking with girls. There are many state certified, accredited organization, qualified professionals who can help and they have a history of helping people to overcome these problems in order to function within their respective society.

For me to recommend people above to overcome their serious problems by learning to do pickup from these dating gurus is almost as irresponsible as if I were to tell a short chubby teenager to become a professional basketball player. I'm sure he can learn a few moves, and might even be quite good at playing basketball at the local YMCA against other short chubby kids, but to push him to become a professional basketball player is just plain delusional. This is what I've been getting at with this blog. I'm not saying that don't learn the techniques and methods that are available. I would be very hesitant to advise anyone to spend thousands if not more on taking bootcamp one after another, subscribe to countless products, and go on every forum in order to become a master Pick-up Artist.

In fact, I've met that VH1 master PUA, he was just standing around biting his nails, analyzing social interactions with his fellow PUAs, and you'd think being a D-list celebrity, he would get some actions because a female audience might recognize him. On the contrary, he left with the same guys who came in with him. If you still think that these self-hype gurus are real, go check out Barry Kirkey's "radioshow" to hear his perspective, as a former "executive coach" (who left) RSD, a character in that "bible," and supposedly got many girls.

Joining the community is not some amazing journey to become a Jedi knight, go read some materials so you know what to and what not to do when interacting with people. Then grow some balls, and start talking with people, guys and girls. The hard work isn't in learning the materials and demonstrate one's prowess by being a keyboard jockey on seduction boards, but rather in going out and be more social with everyone. In spite of what is described in books and reports, it's not that difficult to take a random drunk bar skank home, all you have to do is to lower your standard enough because no girls with choice (i.e. that others would want too) would go home with some random dude that she just met, no matter how cool he is. So the fabled PUA described in reports doesn't exist, it's what hustlers want you to believe so that they can market more materials and workshops to you.

Yet another publicity stunt

I'm no industry expert, so I call it as I see it without any behind-the-scene knowledge. Remember after The Game, Style pulled that stunt of training only 4 chosen guys, then he came out with the Annihilation Method (I prefer to call it for what it is, the Anal Method, because he reamed so many guys, including some college students, that I know, who took out student loans to buy it). With that chump change of a few millions, Style started stylelife which has grown for the past 2 years and no one seems to remember to ask him why he has started making money off the game, which he claimed that he has quit!

For nearly a whole year, I thought I was the lone voice in calling out that the seduction / dating community is a rip-off. Many readers have contacted me privately and publicly on my blog to tell me many more stories that these so-called "PUAs" are just scammers, as I have suggested before, that they are better at seducing boys and men, than girls, which is why I called them gay in that sense.

Some of these "self-hype gurus" have came back with more bullshit reasons, like "I want to help men" or "I like to teach." My suggestion is simple, there are plenty of under-served inner-city schools that they can teach and make a real difference in the future generation instead of hustling these over-paid, never-got-laid IT / programmers; of all the many types of skills to teach others, they choose to teach men how to hustle women?! Really, that's what we want more in this society, more hustlers?

The other route that some of these losers have taken is to go a more commercial route. David Deangelo, and no, that's not his real name, has gone back to being Eben Pagan in order to sell to his former "classmates" in marketing schools on how to build a business, which is what DYD is all about, preying on the hopes and dreams of chumps by selling them empty promises, because I guarantee you that few if any of his marks / victims have gotten girls by being "cocky and funny."

Then there are guys like Sean Messenger, and more recently, Tyler Durden (real name: Owen Cook) are going into the self-improvement market; because they too have quit the game (remember Style) and they are ready to help men (don't you get tired of the same old refrain?!). No, as long as they are alive, like Ross Jeffries, they will continue to market to people, all I can do is to encourage that those who know about the history of these scammers to speak up and educate others so that they can avoid this community of victims / marks.

That's the beauty of America. The country that re-invented modern psychology and pioneered its usage in advertising. Everyone wants to and thinks that s/he can achieve that American Dream, if you have any doubt that it doesn't exist, go watch the recent Democratic National Convention speeches. So no, TD is not quitting, neither has Style, and for the past 30 some odd years, Anthony Robbins is still around talking about self-help, NLP, and whatever latest bullshit that they have conjured up. Sure, we can learn a few things and with how the world has changed since, information is so readily available for free, why be the chump to buy their product? Check out the blogs and podcasts of former insiders of this whole scam!

Have a happy Labor Day and if you are in the path of Gustav, stay safe!

Fans of RSD and TD would love

Another great podcast (sorry, "radio show") from Barry Kirkey! I try to keep up even with my busy schedule and this is another one where he and an ex-coworker at RSD (yes, that cult of Real Social Dynamics) are sharing more info on what used to be the Project Hollywood that infamous book raves about.

These guys have real stories behind the scene of what went on. This whole pickup community is a scheme manufactured by a few guys to rip off the unsuspecting fools. Day in and day out, I still see community guys out and about, they are still doing the same PUA circuits of hopping from one bar to another, and I doubt that they are happy when all they do is constantly out seeking validations from strangers. For those "dating/seduction" coaches, they have the additional pressure of getting validations from their students.

There's a sliver of hope though when I see some guys who have completely abandoned the scene and just be who they used to be... after they have squandered money, wasted time, and of course, lost their old friends; all this in the pursuit of some trivial validation from drunk girls. Rather than trying to game people and fail, they would be better off just going out to meet people, make friends, and develop a social circle. The community has never existed, it's only an illusion that the marketing people came up. There are techniques and tactics that can be learned, just like anything else, but don't be misled to think that you can develop long term friendship with PUAs, because they want you to provide them with girls, money, and/or sexual favors.

Manufactured happiness

A few posts back, I suggested that we have to make a conscious decision to be happy and we must learn to make due with what we have. Guess what? I blogged from my personal experience, and apparently, some smarter people have done research into this and here's the video that I just stumbled onto.

What it comes down to is that the availability of choice is the source of our unhappiness. In other words, if we don't choose to live with what we have/are, then we are condemned to unhappily chase that nebulous, elusive dream.

I stumbled upon this idea that we have to consciously choose to be happy from my personal life. People with limited intelligence, by that, I mean, retards are extremely happy. They are happy in the sense that they are not unhappy. They don't know any better. The other set of people who are relatively happy is older adults; as people get older, opportunities and freedom to choose once available to them no longer exist and they eventually learn to accept their conditions. These are people who are aware of something better but choose to accept their current situation.

This is all well and good, limiting one's ability to choose and accepting reality. I also see some who are also unhappy with themselves, these are individuals who constantly compare themselves against other. I might touch on this topic in the future. For now, I have always emphasize on focus on oneself, what we want, and we will deal with a bigger context in relation to others.

Redirecting focus to something meaningful

Every so often, I get an email from some random guy that lists a tally of how many kiss closes, # closes, ! closes, whatever. This boils down his entire existence down to a number, like a FICO score on his PUA skills, this explains why so many guys failed.

Have you ever gotten MANY numbers from different girls and when you call them, nothing ever materialized?! Mystery would diagnose this as not having the proper time bridge, which is true. What he means is that you didn't set up when you will meet up and what you will do. "Let's hang out" usually means that she will enter you into a lottery drawing and the chance of you ever "hanging out" is slim to none, almost the same probability as you winning the lottery.

Instead of focusing on tallying how many numbers you get, how many girls you've been with, etc., a better way to look at this is from a broader perspective. Are you someone who can get along with people in general? Do you have any difficulty in connecting with people, as in they want to include you into their life? From what little experience I have, this boils down to neediness.

This is a HUGE issue with guys who don't have an existing group of friends and they go into lair and seduction forums to find "wings." They first start their whole journey by wanting sex from girls. When girls sense that you want something from them, they will be turned off immediately and be creeped out. Sure, some of these guys will occasionally score or get lucky, even the blind squirrel will find a nut, and if you are in the community, you are already surrounded by nuts.

I found that as soon as I found something I like to do, something I have a great time doing, whether alone or with friends, there is something I can talk about and share with people. Then I naturally have endless number of conversation topics, so I don't need to "plow." Another is that I can include others into my life. Most people live VERY boring lives, they get up, work, go home, and sleep. If you can get them into doing other activities, they will join up. Most community guys end up just sarging from bar to bar, I call them doing the PUA circuits and they usually end up where they start, with nothing and no new friends.

That's why I always push people to go out to make friends with strangers before trying to game girls. There are no obstacles to disarm, bitchshields to blow apart, and targets waiting to be opened. Friends will naturally exchange info and get together to do other activities, not time-bridging for "dates" and "day2s." If you can get to a point when you can talk about anything with stranger, then you won't have a problem setting up another time to meet to do something together. That, my friends, is a date, day2, timebridge, etc. so you don't need any tricks to get her numbers. Even better, if you can make someone feel that you understand her more than anyone else, and yet you can still tease and have fun with her, enough to build that sexual tension, then you will have no problem with having sex.

Instead of thinking of this as number of sets opened, number of kiss closes, number of number closes, and number of full closes, stop thinking in terms of those sociopathic terms but think of how normal socially well-adjusted people relate to each other, then your interaction with others will also be socially acceptable and naturally have more success with turning strangers into friends. Quit thinking like a weirdo, quit acting like a weirdo, quit being among other weirdos, BUT join, take part, and be with normal humanity.

Self-help gurus: the modern day faeries

I pilfered this from a facebook post that a friend made. The article talks about why we still have crazy beliefs, as in gods, witches, faeries, supernatural powers, and other paranormal phenomena. For the charlatans and hustlers, they promote these for personal financial gains. What about for the rest of us? Why do we still have these beliefs?

This story reminds me of another recent article about how optical illusions work and because our brains predict the future in order to compensate for the delay in the arrival of immediate visual information. I wonder if a similar explanation on how we fill in gaps within our knowledge by appealing to something magical. This might also explain why many people like to interpret their dreams. The consensus among cognitive scientists and biologists is that dreaming is important in solidifying memories and for our survival; but there is no good explanation for why and what we dream about, and even the basics of how we dream!

I think the price for having the neocortex to facilitate higher order cognitive functions, one defect is our constant need to fill in gaps within our knowledge base. If we don't get enough information or at the speed required for survival, our brain naturally projects ahead and fills in gaps in order for the world to make sense. What we fill in the gap is often ruled by emotions with deeper psychological origins.

As alluded to by a commenter here, in a society where we have turned not only material goods, but our hopes and dreams, ideas, and even our very own happiness into a commodity, we think we can buy and sell them at a price. Not only have we relinquished our reasoning ability, but we are becoming dependent on others to satisfy our own needs. Back in the early days of the industrial revolution, the cure for depression (and unhappiness) was "industry," as in working harder. With the advent of computers, especially with many IT guys sitting around surfing the net all day without the pressure to produce or physical demands, we have more time to indulge in silly hobbies and preoccupy our minds with ideas bombarded into us by marketeers. I thought this might be a uniquely American phenomenon, but I think with more people sitting around instead of doing physical labor, we have become physically, intellectually, and socially lazy.

We now buy into the whole self-hype movement. What I have noticed recently, and I'm not sure if this is unique to the seduction community, have you noticed how many Jews are in the pickup business? Now, before anyone accused me of being Hitler for outting those gays and incarcerate them into concentration camps, just count how many of them are among the top self-hype gurus: Style, RJ, David D, Thunderfag, Swingcat, Sinn, David X, (half-breed) Savoy,... I don't think that there's any Illuminati-type conspiracy going on, but it is interesting to note that such a disproportionately high number of one ethnic group within a particular community. They become such experts at selling dreams and fantasies to guys. What's your explanation for these faeries?

What is important to you? And how much would you pay for it?

From numerous discussions that I had with MBA and economists, the central concept of what they do is to compare the opportunity costs between taking action A vs. B. In other words, what are the relative and comparable values between two actions, items, etc.?

This got me thinking about this whole self-improvement and what these self-hype gurus are trying to promote. What service are they providing? Is the service worthwhile? If you were not spending your money in this, where would you spend your money? And this reminds me of a documentary of male prostitutes / entertainment workers in Japan, "The Great Happiness Space," which I have posted here before.

In many ways, these seduction gurus are not very far from being male prostitutes. They are like surrogates for sex for many sex-starved/deprived men. For many guys, I can sort of see how desperate they are for companionship and of physical nature, sexual contacts. Rather than pursuing the stigmatized action of going for prostitutes, they go learn how to get girls, or pickup. Of course, that doesn't sound very pleasant, they call this action something pleasant, like self-improvement, and we all know how important that we must improve ourselves, because after all, we always are students and we can always improve!

So in come these guys, they will teach guys how to get laid, why sell you fish when they can teach you how to fish?! I.e. why would they hand you girls like a pimp would, something we all frown on, when they can teach you to be better men so that you can get girls. When you examine this phenomenon further, at the very basic biological and physical levels, we need women for sexual gratifications. So these guys, in effect, are providing a sexual service to other guys. Instead of pimping out girls to guys, they are selling themselves to other guys, which means these "dating coaches" are really surrogates for prostitutes! which makes them, in effect, male prostitutes.

Jokes aside, do these guys really provide any added-value? Like a chef would when s/he cook what farmers and butchers provide? If you were to pay for prostitutes, do you get more than just sex? Do these guys truly teach you how to be better men, rather than just getting girls?! They would like to convince us that they are... If that's the case, I'm all about applying what I talk about to myself. By that, I mean why don't psychics apply their abilities to improving their conditions? If they are truly such high value men, you know, billionaire guys like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, why do they have to stoop so low to provide such service to other guys?

My proposal is that these self-hype gurus don't really provide any value. This is the best that they can do (applying the Peter Principle here) and if they were not doing this, they would be out whoring themselves in other ways. So before you think about spending money on these guys, ask yourself, if you are in this for girls, perhaps you should just pay girls for their services... rather than through intermediaries such as these self-hype gurus; unless, of course, that you really want guys!

Happiness is a conscious decision

Sure, there are many people who are unhappy, depressed, and may even need psychiatric help. But for most people, if they don't choose to be happy, they end up in a death spiral of wanting more and never quite satisfy with what they have... and so, they become even more unhappy.

I often see people who want this and that, but they don't take any action to improve their conditions, work toward their goals, and consequently, they end up being unhappiness because they have already surrendered their happiness to outside forces. The classic example is the weather. Almost everywhere I go, people will complain about what's wrong with the weather they are experiencing. If it's too sunny, they complain about the heat. If it's too warm, they complain about the humidity. As you can see, they will always find something wrong about their external environment, and allow that to affect them. What they don't ever consider is that there are millions more people inhabiting in the exact same conditions, I'm sure many of those people are happy and not let the weather conditions affect them.

The second item on people's bitch and complain list is usually other people (like this blog!). This can range from family members, friends, to co-workers. Unlike weather, we usually have slightly more control over people who we associate with. I was at a point in my life nearly 2 years ago, when I allowed unscrupulous, social misfits into my life, and instead of extracting myself from that situation, I wallowed in their miseries and I didn't realize how unhappy I was until I extracted myself from that "community." So, look around you, if someone or group of people is making you unhappy, cut them out of your life. Life is too short to squander your precious time with those who bother you.

Yes, there are times when we do need outside intervention. Instead of going to seek out professionals to treat our depression, people would go from one self-help group and self-hype guru to another. However, there are some things in us we have to accept and learn to live with them. There are some ways we can mask or improve, by that, I mean we take actions to change what we can, and accept what we cannot change. An example is our height, if someone is short, he can wear lifts, more form fitting clothes, and carry himself in ways that make him look tall. Take Jon Stewart in the Daily Show, did you notice that his stage is slightly elevated and his guests have to step up to him? So there are ways we can mask any problem, but we don't ever hear Jon Stewart complaining about his height!

That's the beauty of not indulging too much in the self-help, self-improvement movement. The very premise is that there's something wrong with you, you are unhappy, and you are not good enough. And in order for you to be happy, good, etc., you have to subscribe, pay, enroll, and be part of something else. See how sneaky they are at marketing themselves to you?! Rather than getting into an endless cycle of going to someone for more, we are better off accepting our own conditions, be more goal-oriented, AND most important of all, take action toward our goals instead of constantly complaining about our unhappiness. Yes, you are good enough, you are happy, and you must have to love yourself first.

Keep it simple

There are many difficult tasks in life, but for the most part, life is very simple, and especially social situations, they are the simplest. From what I've observed, the more someone tries to break them down, the more they will be drown in that neverland, somewhere between over-interpreting and completely missing the point.

Yes, you know it's coming. Picking up girls, it's not difficult, and if people play it like it really is, a numbers game, almost like lottery except you will score more and more often, then they would not need all those gay forums that Barry Kirkey has been talking about.

Being a blogger, I keep up with quite a few blogs and this trend is emerging. People don't make money by simplifying how things are, but they over-analyze and come up with complex algorithms. Take getting rich, it's a very simple formula, take what you earn and subtract out what you spend. So you can get rich by making a lot more than what you are earning now, or spend less that what you are spending now. Or increase your earning significantly more than the increase in your spending.

Take getting girls, yes, I do hate the idea of "getting" anything from anyone, especially girls. It's all about meeting people, the more people you meet, the more likely you will develop social skills and you will have a higher likelihood of meeting someone or girls. And in order to meet people, you have to be where people are. Meet more people, have more friends, in turn, have more people in your life, and naturally, you will have more girls. No need to take countless workshops, buy more products, and learn more techniques.

You know how to get promoted or get a pay raise, do what people at those positions or that pay-grade are doing, then naturally, you will get it. If not, find a job that will compensate you at the rate you think you deserve.

Another interest that people have but rarely work on is losing weight. It's very simple, consume less calories than what you expend, you will lose weight. Until someone can prove that we can absorb calories by other means than through our GI tract (yes, there are non-enteral ways for caloric intakes, but most people don't have the means for getting that), almost all of us get our calories through our mouths and we expend energy by moving around. If we use more energy to move around than what we consumed through our mouths, we will lose weight. No need for all those silly diet plans.

But in order to have a blog that constantly churn out more information, more howto's, more reasons for you to come back to read more, they will constantly pump out more seemingly important info, and make simple steps into something more complicated than what it should be.

Being a normal well-adjusted person is being in tune what one's needs and desires. Being able to express and convey oneself to others. Having a support system that both nurtures and challenges us to be a better person. Yes, it really is that simple.

Go check this out... today!

Their discussion and opinions about lairs fit my experience perfectly! Because of Barry Kirkey, I haven't felt the need to bitch and complain why guys should avoid the community. No, I have absolutely no commercial interest with him, and to be quite honest, I have lost whatever respect I had for Sinn awhile back when he went commercial and started tacitly endorsing certain guys, probably because they paid him. Seriously, if he has any other skills and can hold down a real job, he wouldn't be hanging out with social retards for a living!

There are some very good theories, tactics, techniques, and even methods in the community. But they can be learned, internalized, and practiced without any association with lair or community guys. You can find them on many file sharing sites and some "gurus" even give them away for free! There's no need to involve yourself with community lair guys because learning seduction materials is like masturbating. We all benefit from it (don't believe me? google for "prostate cancer masturbation frequency," we all should do it in private, not something you brag about to your friends, but once you start doing it together with other guys, you are gay!

If you miss this podcast, I'm sure he will republish it this weekend and like most community materials, you'll find it on many file sharing sites.

Now, I'm going back to work and I'll blog about some other recent insights I have later.

Intelligent design?!

I think this is totally HAWWWT!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Yes, I'm back, bitches!

What do you look for in a girl?

People, especially girls, often ask me this question. This is an opportunity not just to tell people what I like but also what kind of person I am. Sure, she has to be attractive. And what else?

The one thing people will discover, once they meet many people, is that there are plenty of potential mates, but we don't know until we get to know them. On top of my check list isn't necessary how hot she is, but rather, how much self-respect she has. A girl who doesn't respect herself, care for, and love herself isn't a girl worth knowing and worth having in my life. Have you noticed girls who are into dramas... tend to surround themselves with dramas and thus they also drag others into their problems!

Girls with little or no respect for themselves also rarely know who they are; I'm not sure which is the cause and which is the effect, but those two traits tend to go hand in hand. Girls who know themselves tend to be more self-assured, less needy, and definitely more articulate without sounding pushy. That's the whole idea behind the push-pull, being able to let go and be confident enough to accept the results without being desperate. For example, girls would suggest doing something or something else. They don't have to have their way all the time or they would throw a tantrum.

Contrary to what most people think, I believe that girls who seem to know what they want don't truly know they want and they definitely are into the drama of fighting. I just had a conversation with a friend and she was telling me so-and-so is a "type A personality" girl because she knows what she wants. Guess what? Those girls are still alone, over-the-hill, and very unhappy. Because they haven't taken that journey to know who they are and people, who have taken risks, been hurt, and (hopefully unintentionally) hurt others, are more genuine because they don't feel the need to play games or to have to win every battle. The reality is that if there's good sex and both sides enjoy themselves, there is no battle of the sexes!

That's the main problem I see in many people, they don't dig deep within, find out who they are, and self-identity isn't necessarily something that can be stated in a few terms, it's something they feel and they are ready to show others. People who don't know themselves and people who constantly seek answers from others (like taking many "dating/seduction" workshops) and in the process, their lives are buffeted and filled with dramas because they allow dramas into their lives. This is how I answer that question. Definitely someone with plenty of self-love and respect because that person will know how to care and treat me with respect. Yes, I'm very selfish this way!

Being in the moment

If you have not watched Cesar Milan's The Dog Whisperer, you really have to go check it out. It's on the National Geographic TV channel. Just watch how he doesn't bring in many preconceived notions when he meets up with a new dog and then how he dominates, controls, and leads that dog! Sometimes, he even brings in other dogs in his pack to help him exert that pack mentality. Now you see the parallel of why having friends going out with you is a good thing, especially girls to help you pull more girls into your folds.

That's why they call some girls bitches, because in many ways, they are animals first, females second, and humans third. I kid, about the female dog part! But people are surprisingly whimsical and we can take advantage of them being in the moment, and if you want to take girls home, this is the best way of exploiting that. This is analogous to what magicians use; they draw in the attention of everyone around them, misdirect them to some fun shiny bright objects, and consequently, sex just happens.

That's why we have to be immersed into the moment. We don't think about what happened last time, or the same girl might have rejected you, or how other lair guys think you are the pimp in the forum. Focus your attention on the here and now. Enjoy yourself, being among your friends, and share those good warm and fuzzy feelings with others. You don't have to think very far in advance, and definitely don't verbalize your thoughts on what you will do to her. Girls will inevitably say "that's just gross" or with other verbal objections. But once you start doing the "nasty," anything goes because girls, being animals first, female second, and humans third, they too will allow almost anything to happen as long as you don't break the rhythm or disrupt the vibe.

Even if you really want to baptize her by covering her face with your man juice, you better not tell her that, but just do it and you will realize girls will go along with practically anything as long as you do it without hesitation but with confidence, authority, and most important of all, discretion. I often joked about how guys should just pay for sex, I'm willing to bet that it's not that great with a hooker and those guys have to because they don't have a sense of fun and playfulness. In some days, this is about what goes on inside, how we all have to learn to discard our inhibition and start living in the moment. For sex to happen on the same night, we have to draw out their disinhibition and replace it with adventure. That's what people sum up as "being in the moment."

If you still don't have a visceral sense of what it is, go watch Cesar Milan in how he draws that out of dogs in order to "rehabilitate" them. Change yourself, let loose, relax, chill, and go rehab some girls!

"He's safe."

Quite often, guys act too cool to be in a bar, and they end up drinking alone and scurry home among their "pickup artist sarging wingmen." Another example of what-not-to-be is the guy that seems a bit too eager and wanting a bit much of something from people, you know the type, he thinks he's a player when he is really creeping girls out. The trick with being a person with options with girls is to be a good fisherman.

Unlike those professional pickup artists, who pride themselves at pulling drunk girls home and then come online to boast about their technical pickup skills, I've been advocating the opposite, be the social guy with friends, who goes out with his buddies instead of his fellow lair sargers. With many friends and many social circles, this is similar to a fisherman casting multiple lines, just jiggle a few lines now and then, sit back, relax, and wait for girls to chase you!

Unlike guys who pride themselves for being players, when they really are pussies with no balls, you have to be discrete. Girls are always craving for excitement. By switching the mentality of wanting something from girls, be the guy that fulfills that yearning in them, bring them into your folds in a manner that make them feel like they are part of something greater than themselves.

This is what I mean by being that "safe" guy that girls talk about, what they have subcommunicated is that you understand and can fulfill their needs without broadcasting to the whole wide world. The very act of writing up reports about hook ups with girls is an obvious sign of chest pounding to show the world someone has succumbed to the power of the pussy. Sure, if those reports were true, they would have been educational for guys to learn about girls, but like many things in life, we can only talk in generality and it takes experience to flesh out the details. Go live the life you want rather than trying to imitate a fraud. Go discover what works for you instead of trying to fulfill the fantasy of an author. What you read is often shaped by marketing and driven by advertising. Be your own man.

Dealing with the avalanche of information

Unlike some of my more net-savvy readers, I just started using RSS reader a few days ago and thankfully, it has helped me immensely by allowing me to keep up with web sites than ever before! Then I noticed the parallel with the glut of self-help and specifically, "seduction" materials.

Remember back in the day when the Mystery Method had 5 DVDs, then Style's the Anal Method came out with 8 DVDs and more audio CD's. Of course, being a good copycat, RSD came out with tons more programs loaded with at least a dozen DVD's each. The king of self-hype David D also drone on and on in his endless numbers of programs.

This got me thinking about this technique of flooding people with so much information, and most of it is just padding, they talk about what you should get out of it and when you get down to the useful portion of the program, there's very little if anything that one can apply. So it's almost anti-climatic in the sense that the up-sell of the product and the build-up in the beginning, when all these programs are the same. But they are so loaded with jargons and market-oriented sale pitches.

Then I compare with what I know vs. what is blogged about in the blogosphere, there's so much fluff... like this blog. I basically tell people to do what other normal and social people do. But before I can get to that simple point, I have to dispel all these myths and hypes that all these self-hype gurus created. Sure, it's great to know the details so that you can impress with your analysis. It's like using multi-variables calculus to solve for the surface area of a sphere, when you can just plug in the correct information into a formula that's readily available.

In this era of information overload, I wonder how much of it is really new, most of it is just rehash, and not even repeat of useful and applicable information. As I blogged here so many times, people should stop trying to learn everything out there, they should try what works for them instead of constantly looking outside to fix what is really wrong inside.

To put this in a different way, when people put out a weird vibe, it's not about how they should learn more about body language, adopt a different posture or stand, rather, they should continue to interact with people, keep changing until they find something that works. Instead, what I see so often is that people keep on reading, keep going back to gurus for more materials, keep attending superconferences (yeah, I should create the final supreme conference), and yet they never ever really truly change what is inside using their personal experiences as the guide.

I have told this to friends and on here many times, it's perfectly fine to make mistakes, just don't keep repeating the same mistakes. The problem isn't this or that, but to truly examine oneself, and start fixing from within. I might blog about some problems I've seen and what I think would be the obvious, easier, and simpler solution.

Are girls on online dating websites weird?

By weird, I mean they are a bit socially inept and perhaps, delusional in the type of guys they can get. Funny how I meet some of these girls when I'm out and about. Then a few days or weeks later, guy friends show me who they have been talking to online (yes, I do have socially awkward friends who find girls through online dating websites), and sure enough, those exact girls are on those sites!

I have heard that people have met strippers and even porn actresses from online dating websites, but from my personal experience, I have yet to meet any hot girl offline who is also on online dating websites. I know girls who go on those online dating websites are extremely picky considering their looks and/or personalities. Of course, these girls (in their offline-life) would have a whole bunch of guys giving them unwarranted attention but none of them are man enough to take these girls home.

Then I started wondering why some of these girls go online. Let's face it, the majority of them are fat. I don't mean a little bit chunky, some are morbidly obese, and a few realize that so they resort to Craig's List (I think he needs to pay me as an affiliate for all my referrals!). The rest, some girls I know from offline seem to be decent in looks but their personalities, they seem a bit off. If I can find one group of guys who are similar to these girls, lair guys would be comparable.

I think these two groups are similar because most lair guys and girls on online dating websites tend to be people who have difficulties socializing with others in offline situations. So the last frontier for social acceptance for these people would be to go online to increase their exposure to other people. If you are familiar with the American history, you've probably read about settlers heading out West and some even to Alaska. These people are of a different breed than those who continued and made something of themselves in old cities like Boston, NYC, Chicago,... Of course, within this group of people, you find guys like the Unabomber in Montana, and their offsprings like Ted Bundy. I'll have to research how many serial killers are from the West vs. East coast.

Now, I'm not equating lair guys and girls on online dating sites as potential serial killers and sociopaths. I am suggesting that they are deviants from the social norm. Not that being abnormal is bad, many geniuses are abnormal, e.g. Albert Einstein was one smart cookie but then he also married his first cousin. So please feel free to send in your personal experiences if you have found some interesting and physically attractive mates from online.

Growing balls: empowering self before seeking help

Thanks to a friend for sending a recent post in a lair forum to me. I'm glad someone finally saw the light. People don't need coaches for basic instinctual human behaviors, such as engaging in social interactions with other human beings.

The problem with self-help is people are constantly looking for help from everywhere instead of looking within, finding what courage they have, doing what is necessary to improve their own conditions. For a lack of a better phrase, they need to grow balls instead of buying the illusion of balls from douchebags.

If these douchebag coaches are truly that successful or that great at doing what they are teaching to other people. Even if people are paying them money, they wouldn't do it. I can certainly use more income and I certainly am not that great with the ladies, but I still wouldn't hang out with some socially awkward guys who just read that book and decided to go out to sarge because they paid me!

I do, however, have plenty of socially awkward friends, and I am not exactly a very socially savvy person. Yet, they are my friends because they are not creepy, by that, I am referring to guys with no hidden agendas and no intention of trying to get something from me. It's natural to have sex, but it's not natural to want to have sex with any girl.

This is the very reason why I avoid community guys, because they have no standards for themselves and they will stoop to whatever level to get sex, even if that means paying some douchebags who will teach them how to pickup. Instead of paying people in order to get sex, they could have enriched their lives if they just have friends, people who are there for each other, without any ulterior motives. And if normal and socially well-adjusted individuals want something, they make their desires known instead of trying to scheme, plan, and manipulate their way.

Sure, there are plenty hustlers out there, and some are quite good. But these guys rarely work at jobs that are devoid of social interactions. Also, these guys started hustling at a very young age. And most important of all, they don't pay someone to learn to hustle. At some point in life, people have to accept themselves for who and what they are. They can make changes to improve themselves, only if they take the initiative of doing that themselves. They also have to be realistic with their own expectations, otherwise, they end up being delusional with themselves and others. And sure enough, they become coaches hustling other guys instead of girls.

Seduction in the workplace: how to get ahead at work

How to get ahead at work without resorting to giving heads. This came up in my conversations with a friend and then a recent surge of blog entries on how to get a raise at work, how to get promoted, etc. I've "worked" at white-collar jobs all my life so you might need to adapt this to your work situation.

The reality is that almost any work environment is rife with internal politics, struggles for dominance, and basically, the battlefield for modern tribal (office) warfare. Setting aside the issue that our performance is rarely if ever get evaluated objectively. When people interact, their reality is shaped subjectively by their perceptions. So expecting our boss to evaluate us objectively, just because so-and-so is getting paid at such a rate, and since we are doing the same work if not more, we should get compensated at the same rate is a silly, pointless, and definitely ineffective argument with our boss. That's the number one mistake that people make. They expect objective measurement of their work and get rewards based on merits, just as if they were in school even though workplaces are nothing like schools!

Some might suggest that we should take the initiative to start projects, go the distance, and do more than what your boss asked for or expected us to. That's a great idea, until you encounter a superior who thrives on criticizing and belittling their subordinates; you know the type, the kiss-up and kick-down middle managers. Rather than crying fouls and giving in, the trick to deal with them is simple, make them feel important and give them the illusion of power without giving up our own. Sure, we can start a new project. Rather than telling them about it and expecting them to praise us, we get them involved by giving them small tasks to gain compliance, then slowly turn them into our subordinates.

Most middle managers want to be involved into everything, because they don't want to be left out and they usually become managers because they thrive on controlling people. We have to start with the basic premise that if we are to get a raise and/or a promotion, we have to do more than what they asked of us, but instead of just showing them our results, we give them menial tasks that are of no consequence, however, we sell them on the idea that they too are making a difference. This way, I have effectively bypassed their managerial duties of approving or rejecting what I do because I presume what I do is important and critical to our overall success. Two, I don't appear needy in seeking their praise. Three, they feel important because they are involved and not feel left out. Finally, we slowly and gradually make them dependent on what we do and turn power dynamics in our favor.

That, my friends, is how to get ahead at work. We do more than what they ask, we don't turn around and expect immediate rewards for our efforts, rather than waiting for approval, we get everyone else involved, including our boss. Of course, there are details on what kind of projects, when to start them, how to present them, and market them to a greater community.

Friends with benefits

Skeptical or just cynical?!

How truthful are endorsements by well-known people? We sort of take them for granted, this is what they do using their status as celebrities. I'm almost at the point when those endorsements become white noise and hopefully, they don't influence me much.

Perhaps, this is a guy's thing, we generally don't worship public figures and if they are hot, we might want to bone them. Hey, I'm a dog that way! What if people that you thought might have skills start endorsing products that you know for sure are scams? Do you lose respect for that person or do you become totally dismissive of the whole scene, i.e. everyone in it?

The reason I brought it up is that I noticed, at an increasing rate, that "gurus" in the pickup scene constantly talk up about each other. You know, like Mystery said, "accomplishment intros." Say I know A, but I don't know B, when A does an accomplishment intros of B, I presume what A said about B is true, and therefore, B's value has been raised. What if I don't know A and B? Should I automatically suspect both A & B? Worst, what if I know A and B, and what A said about B isn't true?!

This is not something I'm proud to admit, but I have listened to nearly 4 full hours of 26/Extramask/Barry's podcasts. He is confirming what I suspected is true and what I tried to expose on this blog. That most reports are exaggerated at best, and at worst, they are complete fabrications. So we ignore most reports, what about guys who supposedly are good, and they have started endorsing nobodies? Are we supposed to take their words? Perhaps I'm just jaded and cynical, I suspect most of this self-hype industry isn't just hyping oneself, but also about hyping each other, and rising sea raise all boats mentality.

By repetitively drumming up and hyping each other, these self-hype guys are creating a feeding frenzy. It's almost like all the clubs on one strip decide to make people wait in line to get in, even though it's empty inside. They, in effect, create this false presumption that the whole strip is really happening. But the reality is that they are no different that places don't hype themselves.

After all that, if you want to exchange link with my blog, send me the best description of yourself, we'll work something out! LOL!

26

The guy mentioned in my previous entry turns out to be 26 from that infamous book. After nearly 5 years, he has changed or those stories about him aren't entirely true. I have been wondering how Style distort events and characters in order to write a better story.

This is a mistake I've made many times and I've seen others getting caught up in the hype. That infamous book was my first foray into the self-hype movement, then thanks for David D's monthly gurus, there are new techniques, methods, and books every month to satiate people's appetite for more "stuff." Instead of passing judgment of what they are doing is right or wrong, I should have done my own research and discover more on my own.

A friend (and fellow blogger) and I were discussing how people are "manipulating" each other. There are so many negative connotations associated with that word. The reality is that we all are trying to convince each other. The job of marketeers and hustlers is to present a favorable case of what they are selling; they use what is necessary to convince us, that can range from simple distortions, to hiding some unfavorable facts, to outright lies. Rather than being judgmental and indignant as I have been in the past, I should do my own research in order to decide for myself.

As my friend said it best, my philosophical approach has been more experiential. Shit happens, and we do our best to deal with them. My main gripe about these self-hype gurus is that they led me (and allowed myself to be led) to believe that their way is the only way, the best solution, and in many ways, this is similar to many monotheistic religions. I have to repeat to myself that it's okay to make mistakes, there's no one true path, no best answer, but there is a relatively better solution. My job is to find that. So there may never be the whole truth, but whatever I can find at that time.

I can't do it better!

This guy has a sense of humor. Good shit, go check him out!

For whom are we doing this?

As the seduction community becoming more mainstream, there will be more people diving head first, like I did, into it without logically examining our own intentions. Rather than asking the deep question of why we are doing this, a simpler question is to direct at ourselves, we are doing this for whom?

Sex drive varies between people and from my experience, those with high sex drive generally are quite good with women already and people in general. In fact, this usually translates into success in other areas of life, career, financially well off, and almost always in leadership positions. If you don't know of any, just pick any prominent politician, from historical figures, such as Thomas Jefferson to John F. Kennedy. I'm quite sure that I am NOT the first person to point this out; that sexual prowess leads to success in both social and sexual arenas of our lives.

Now, let's get back to guys who are learning to do pickup because they saw the TV show or read some books, or even e-books. If these guys already have a high sex drive, they would be out banging broads instead of staying at home to read, watch, memorize routines, and go on forums to game each other. Most guys learning pickup are usually your typical geeky programmers; they are so used to manipulating their silicone-based virtual worlds, they think that they can control people using the same concept of subroutines, functions, and programs. What they don't realize that their very being in the programming field has already separated them from the mainstream social world.

I'm picking on programmers because they belong to one model that's representative of people who have not been in the past, are not now, and probably will never be leading men and nailing women in the future. Instead of learning "the game" and go out regularly to practice, these guys would better off fixing other aspects of their lives. Sure, some with sociopathic tendencies will become quite adept in "fake it" until they make it. For the rest, they will continue to flounder because it's simply not in their nature to manipulate people despite how much they want to.

Because of this personal experience, the first thing I do now when confronted with any self-help improvement is to ask myself, am I doing this for myself? I notice many guys get into this so they can brag to other people, sure, they post reports so they can get feedback. If that's truly the case, they would have been more truthful in their reports and be more comprehensive, i.e. they would include their failures as well as their successes. That's why I often joked how guys are spending more time online trying to convince, or for a lack of a better term, seduce other guys rather than going out to get girls.

Going back to picking on programmers, they are so used to and perhaps been very successful at manipulating their virtual worlds, they become experts in online forums, where people exist as avatars instead of real life human beings with multiple roles, facets, flaws and positive attributes. In other words, they are not embarking on this self-help journey to help themselves, but rather, to improve their virtual standing among other social retards. Of course, what they don't realize is that they become the perfect prey population for people in sales (i.e. with more expertise in manipulation). Some of these preys in turn predate on an even more naive population of guys. This turns into an ecosystem of guys predating on other guys.

If they had their focus on improving themselves (i.e. helping oneself), to truly becoming more social, they would have directed their energy within, work on what they lack rather than trying to be better than another retard in an online / virtual world. I'm not, however, suggesting that guys should abandon their current lives so they can be good with women. Rather than diving deep into this without fore thoughts, they should examine their own motivations, is this something they want, for whom are they doing this, and what do they want to get out of this. Even if they are doing this just to get girls, then why haven't they been doing this all along? Have they been bought into what some marketeers tell them what they need to do?!

Dating bootcamp: creepy or necessary?

This subject comes up on this blog quite often and many people have asked me. What do I think of bootcamps? I have known many people who have taken bootcamps and I have known people who have done without. In case this might bias my view, I am going to reveal it, just so people are aware of this and can take this into account when they read my opinion on this. Of all the people I know who have taken bootcamps, over 50% of people have requested full refund from their bootcamps / workshops. Granted, I don't know what is the rate of refund request in the industry, I have been informed by a guy who teaches bootcamp, he said it's quite high.

With that said, I want to believe that bootcamps can be transformational and can work. The reality is that I have yet to see one case that it does. From one end, one guy in the local community, he's a bit chubby, horrible sense of fashion, and very cerebral. According to him, he has taken pretty much all the bootcamps from well-known (Mystery, Juggler, Lance Mason,...) companies out there (probably upward of 10 bootcamps), and to this day, he can barely walk up to anyone on the street to say hi and ask for time! He spends most of his time at home studying up materials because his main complain is that he doesn't have enough materials... which is funny, considering he has taken the Juggler bootcamp, that emphasizes on being natural, be-yourself type of approach.

Outside of the community, I don't think he has that many personal friends that he socializes with. For him, a better remedy would be to go out and do stuff, social activities, mingle with people, develop friendships, or perhaps, he's a schizoid and this seduction community is a purely an academic exercise for him.

The second case is a guy who I have discussed many times before. A self-admitted match.com-addict; he has taken out his life savings to take, by his public admission, 4 bootcamps, all from well known companies and individuals. Sadly, he is where he has always been, girls still think he's queer, guys think he's weird, and the only friends he has are from the community. Unlike the first guy, the match-addict really tries hard to be with people but he is impeded by his insidious desires to get stuff from people, whether to get social/emotional/sexual favor from guys and perhaps, sexual favors from girls, people can sense that creepiness in him and thus, they eventually distant themselves from him.

What's the common theme among these two extreme cases? They don't have friends, they don't know how to socialize with people, and their problem is not that they don't how to game girls, they simply don't know how to be among people. With these extreme cases, bootcamps should gear toward helping guys just be normal and social, rather than turning them into gamers. Another factor is their age, guys who improve the most tend to be younger, as in under 30, and preferably, 25. In fact, most "naturals" become good with women in their teenage years, not just from that infamous book, but from my personal experiences. After a certain age, people are set in their ways. Like language, there's a window when people can acquire social skills and after that age-dependent window closes, they can spend the life savings, quit their jobs, get fired, and even move to away (like that match-addict), they will still be those creepy guys that people avoid.

There are cases where some guys improved, the main differentiating factor is that their age. Of course, with younger age, comes hubris; some of these guys improve slightly, and they think they are total gamers. I'm sure they get girls now and then, you know the guys would have sex with but would never reveal to their friends, the ugly and fat ones. Afterward, they think they can become instructors. And there are dicks like me, who take pleasure in blowing wide open on their insecurities.

My final analysis is that bootcamps may be helpful, only to guys at younger age, and although I have yet to see one case where someone went from a chump to a hustler, I still have hopes, just like I hope to cross path with a unicorn, the flying spaghetti monster,... one day. What is the solution? That's what I've been blogging about, people should learn to socialize, have friends, maintain friendships, and participate in something greater than themselves, i.e. contribute to a group, their respective society, and a cause. Most important of all, they should engage in activities that is fulfilling themselves and get rid of their desires to get anything from anyone, be that sex or friendship. Unlike most sociopaths, most people don't hide their intentions very well. Be fun, be normal, be social, and be giving. That's what being a man is all about.

Getting girls with no game!

RSD is jumping on the "natural game" bandwagon; no, seriously, when was the last time you notice RSD coming up with something new?! What they taught before was a bastardized form of Mystery's M3, and no, I'm not fan of Style either, who also taught another bastardized form of M3. And I think Mystery is a freak, at least no one else claims to have invented the M3 model. So what is really natural game?

The truth is that it doesn't take any game. Keep talking to girls, especially drunk girls, you too will be able to take them home. It's not difficult, as long as you are willing to take risks (e.g. rape charge, STD,...), and you have lowered your standard enough (e.g. fat, ugly, and/or dirty girls), there are plenty of girls out to get laid pretty much every where. That's the dirty secret these guys, RSD, Style, Mystery included, don't tell you. Drunk girls don't require any game. As long as you look relatively decent, not creepy, not too grabby, and most important of all, keep running your mouth, girls will take you home or you can take them home.

Girls + alcohol = easy sex. There's no game in that equation. Now if you want great sex, and emotionally fulfilling relationships, that's a different story. Even then, they also don't require game as in how it's taught by dating coaches or promulgated by keyboard jockeys on seduction forums. The reality is that guys should chill out, don't get all caught up in gaming.

In fact, get rid of these silly terms of eliciting attraction and running comfort game. You know what normal people call these behaviors? The first is called flirting, you know, guys and girls joke around. If girls don't run away, then they ARE interested. No one can sink every basket, hit a home-run off every pitch,... in the same way, not every girl will respond positively. Accept that and move on. And yes, with time and practice, you will improve, not because you have game, but because you have a better social intuition. Which has to be experienced rather than constantly searched and dissected for, because while you are doing that, girls have already been creeped out by you.

As for game is played in comfort, it's about being yourself, showing girls who you really are, inside. If you keep running routines and/or telling stories by other people, and unless you are a psychopath or a great actor, people will notice. However, the trick isn't to lie, but to spin those stories, filter them and deliver them in ways that are more palatable to girls. Do NOT try to embed DHV's, that's what normal people call bragging.

So study up the general concepts, internalize them, and stop thinking about them, because the act of thinking about them will turn every interaction into an awkward, robotic affair. One more thing, for guys who want to get laid by paying for bootcamps... save that money, go buy yourself some nice clothes, and spend the rest on hookers. At least you know what you will get, for sure. And if you feeling like hunting, go look for drunk chicks.