The end and the new beginning

When I started this journey two years ago, I just experienced a very personal loss in my life, no, not because a girl dumped me. That loss has left a wound in my life, thought it may never heal but it has continued to serve as a reminder to me, how I must cherish life and to value all those around me. However, I made one critical mistake in my state of grief, I gave up my own identity in trying to change into someone else.

A recent loss reminds me that once again of what is important to me in my life, it's about what I do that defines who I am. This blog was started less as a chronicle of my transformation but more out of frustration in discovering who I am, in developing a specific set of social skills. In the past two years of my journey, I have learned a great deal about myself: who I am, how others are, and more importantly, how we each play a role in two specific spheres, society and the market economy.

In blogging for the past 2 years, I had some insights just from writing and even more from interacting with readers & commentators. Of course, I also developed some lasting friendships. But starting today, I am moving on from this blog, I feel this blog has served its purposes and I might revisit some topics that I've discussed here. My focus in my new blog is more about what I do regularly: examining issues in depth, look beyond the marketing hypes, challenge what we are told, and determine the underlying motive, mechanism, and how we can use that to benefit ourselves.

Once I've finalized the new blog, I will redirect readers & visitors there.

A different perspective on "pickup"

This is what seduction/dating gurus would like us to believe. They either have a huge repertoire of routines to microcalibrate for every conceivable situation -OR- the exact amount of woo & intent that almost all girls (or as TD would say, 99% of all girls will have a great interaction with him) will wet their panties... all because the guy has the right body language, the proper tonality & voice, and the perfect verbal game. Sadly, the reality is quite different.

What usually happen is that these self-hype gurus go around talking to girls, some will be amused, but most girls will end up ignoring these weirdos; on a good night, they might end up with a few numbers, which MANY drunk girls will give out because they want to feel validated. Most of the time, both the guru and the girl are so hammered with their respective beer-goggles end up going home together. Most guys getting into this might not believe this, there are girls go out explicitly to get drunk in order to get laid because these girls are just as desperate. The trick isn't in what to do or say, but in finding the right venue, talking to those girls, and with a low enough standard, you too will go home with them.

Let's step back for a second and think this through, if a girl is successful, decent looking, socially savvy, with supportive friends and family (as in well-adjusted), do you think she would go out to bars to hook up with some random dudes?! There's a slim chance that such a girl exists despite what our intuition would say, but the possibility of meeting that one special girl is almost like winning the lottery; if you are the type who like to gamble by buying lottery tickets, then this is "the game" that you should play.

But if all you want to do is to get laid, it's quite simple: Get drunk, talk to every girl, and you too will get to go home with some nasty drunk bar skanks. There are many guys, including some readers and commenters on here, who have depression, social phobia or anxiety, and perhaps, personality disorders so they have difficulty in talking with girls. There are many state certified, accredited organization, qualified professionals who can help and they have a history of helping people to overcome these problems in order to function within their respective society.

For me to recommend people above to overcome their serious problems by learning to do pickup from these dating gurus is almost as irresponsible as if I were to tell a short chubby teenager to become a professional basketball player. I'm sure he can learn a few moves, and might even be quite good at playing basketball at the local YMCA against other short chubby kids, but to push him to become a professional basketball player is just plain delusional. This is what I've been getting at with this blog. I'm not saying that don't learn the techniques and methods that are available. I would be very hesitant to advise anyone to spend thousands if not more on taking bootcamp one after another, subscribe to countless products, and go on every forum in order to become a master Pick-up Artist.

In fact, I've met that VH1 master PUA, he was just standing around biting his nails, analyzing social interactions with his fellow PUAs, and you'd think being a D-list celebrity, he would get some actions because a female audience might recognize him. On the contrary, he left with the same guys who came in with him. If you still think that these self-hype gurus are real, go check out Barry Kirkey's "radioshow" to hear his perspective, as a former "executive coach" (who left) RSD, a character in that "bible," and supposedly got many girls.

Joining the community is not some amazing journey to become a Jedi knight, go read some materials so you know what to and what not to do when interacting with people. Then grow some balls, and start talking with people, guys and girls. The hard work isn't in learning the materials and demonstrate one's prowess by being a keyboard jockey on seduction boards, but rather in going out and be more social with everyone. In spite of what is described in books and reports, it's not that difficult to take a random drunk bar skank home, all you have to do is to lower your standard enough because no girls with choice (i.e. that others would want too) would go home with some random dude that she just met, no matter how cool he is. So the fabled PUA described in reports doesn't exist, it's what hustlers want you to believe so that they can market more materials and workshops to you.

It is what it is...

Some people have read this and wondered why am I not what I appear to be on here. I know there are quite a few people try to psychoanalyze me using my posts here... good luck in figuring me out! The closest analogy I can think of this blog is this...

You know, when you consume an excess amount of veggies, and if you are not regular, may be you take some fiber supplements. So you feel a bit gaseous and have this urge to just let loose. Well, this is what this blog is for me. This is my mental crapper. If you haven't tried colonic, I find blogging as a wonderful relief for the mental constipation that I sometimes feel. So you've been warned! Don't bother turning on the fan so that you can clear the air and get a glimpse of what's happening. Don't bother lighting candles to cover up that smell. On the one hand, the stench drives many away, but on the other, people are inherently curious to see what's up. So here you are.

Once in awhile, you might find a gem or two in my posts. It's like hunting for diamonds in a landfill. If you do find diamonds there, they probably are not the result of spontaneous localized pressure that created diamonds in situ, but someone accidentally discarded them. In other words, my ideas have probably been published elsewhere or that people don't realize that how valuable their ideas really are, at least for me! I don't expect people to get what I post right away or to even understand why I blog in the first place. I blog because I can.

MANY people use blogs as a marketing tool, which I do sometimes when I feel the urge to experiment or to mess with people. Some bloggers use this as a tool to seek validation or to prove something to someone out there in the ether. Some chronicle their lives online, some lie, some fabricate, some exaggerate, more bullshit as far as I'm concerned. There are some bloggers who use this medium to advocate for something. A few try to be helpful, which I did long ago and I think some of my ideas have taken hold or at least helped people kill time. I'm not egotistical enough to think that I can change the world, I just make the best of it.

In the end, I go for a good laugh. You probably won't find what I post here that funny or I would have became a professional comedian. This is also not a good place to keep a tab on me or to stalk me online, it's almost like looking at my shit to figure out what I ate. You better be a professional in forensic. And believe me, eating is not the only activity I do but it sure seems to be if you are a regular reader of my blog! I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, and if you ask people who truly know me, they will tell you that I... I'm just one among six billions. The world is a big & wondrous place with plenty of people.

My focus is rarely on the few winners, not that I want to or can be the champion for the underdog, I believe people should go for what works for many instead of buying into the marketing hype. I can appreciate the nuance and complexity within my reality. It is what it is... for me. Don't worry, I will go back to making fun of closeted gays in the community and delusional dumbfucks who buy into the whole self-improvement & passive income bullshit, I'm juvenile that way.

Cultivating a core group of friends

After all my bashings of the community, 2007 has been my turning point, away from the community and rejoin the normal humanity. Instead of amassing, reading, watching, listening to more community bullshit, then get on "seduction forums" to mentally masturbate with other keyboard jockeys, I went on an almost weekly diatribe about the evil of these forums and most of their participants, which inevitably drove most of these losers out of my life.

My view is still the same, some of the materials are good, but only from well known established guys, the rest is just copycat. Most participants in seduction forums are losers, the longer they are on them, the more likely they are failures, not just in getting girls, but in life. The best way to learn is still to go out alone, befriend people, cultivate a core group of friends, not just to go out and pick up girls, but people who are reliable, trustworthy, social, fun, you know the term that "AFCs" called, "friends."

I didn't realize how far I have steered off the normal path by community losers until girls asked me why was I surrounded by creepy, socially awkward losers. Then I re-examined my relationships with these losers, and there is definitely something off about them. They simply don't know how to maintain friendship. They are so obsessed with pursuing fame and/or fortune by cannibalizing each others. Sure, there is still friction with friends, but we have fun together, we rely on each other, we help each other, many of these social skills that these losers don't have. Sadly, no amount of workshops, newbie missions, bootcamps, wings, forums, and whatever else will instill in them a sense of humanity.

The blatant marketing ploys of selling more materials and workshops continue, but there is a trend toward cooperation between these vultures. Guys who aren't so good would "DHV" each other by vouching for each other. They also talk about the higher purpose of helping men, improving lives of many. I have no doubt that a few men have benefited, the rest just serves as another revenue stream for these hustlers.

Ultimately, this year has been a year of self-discovery. I discovered who and what I am. I have yet to realize my full potential, but I know some pitfalls, who and what to avoid, the best way to succeed is not just about consuming more materials, but rather, to do/act without much forethought, don't worry about failures, don't bother to scheme and plan ways to get people. I should, instead, lead a life that enriches myself and others. This means that I'm not trying to "get sex" or take something away from people. Or in community lingo, bringing value to any interaction. Sex is a by-product of a successful life, not as a panacea for failing to live.

And living is worthwhile if one's life is shared with friends. The constant cycle of pump and dump one girl after another is a reflection of one's lack of character, lack of a "life." If our lives are to be meaningful, we have friends to be on this journey.

With that, I might return in 2008, or not... who knows?!

My personality

I've been busy with work and umm, girls. This is the result of a recent personality test that I took:

1. Flexible temperament: Nothing seems to bother you - you sail through life crisis free. It's not that your life doesn't have its ups and downs, it's just that you handle everything without unnecessary drama and antics. You approach each day fresh, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. You are confident that you can handle anything that comes your way and experience has shown that you are absolutely right about this.
2. Simple interests: You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.
3. Adventurous amusement: It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.
4. Physical passion: You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.

Others have taken the same test and they didn't fit their test results at all... Oh well. Mine described me accurately.

More sex, less drama

People are so obsessed with what goes on in the heads of others. The reality is that nothing matters as long as we have fun with friends or alone. If we are to interview guys with experience vs. newbies who just starting to go out and socialize, it's not about body language, lines, openers, routines, cocky & funny, humor, etc. It basically comes down to one thing...

Just as I started this blog because I needed a place to vent, and even to this day, I still blog plenty of rants and raves... basically bitch sessions about certain people, types of people, techniques, ideas, and situations. Oh, that one thing that people should live by, DO NOT GIVE A SHIT. Before people run away and act gay toward each other, such as telling ea other that they are cute, forming circle jerks to talk game, please be somewhat normal and social first. There is a fine line between not having a care in the world and knowing when that's appropriate.

Take the initial approach, for example, guys would run their openers and stacks of materials, and they would look for IOIs, IODs, and DHV in order to elicit IOI, or microcalibrate, roll-off, and whatever else to IOD. The only thing that matters is that she reacts in some way, it doesn't matter if she reacts positively or negatively... the only bad reaction is no reaction. Otherwise, roll with what she gives and continue with having fun, better if we are having fun at her expense. Guys fail only because they can't be themselves, by that, they are not comfortable within their own skins, desires, and intentions. They have some agenda of wanting or needing something from someone.

I started this blog because I feel like bitching... and I like to make fun of social retards in the community, especially those without game pretending to be gurus after failing all these years, or worst yet, dating coaches, they don't matter because they won't make money off me nor do I want to make money off others. Unlike countless hustler-wannabes, this is what I do for fun, and I keep working at my professional career so that I can continue to do this for fun. I could careless if people think I have game, because ultimately, I don't want any fame or fortune from rejects of society. It's worst than robbing candies from children or raping underage girls (like many purportedly do).

That's the beauty of life; eliminate desires, life is much more enjoyable. Shut out people with drama within themselves or with each other, do as little as possible to maintain a comfortable living, avoid doing things in order to get something or someone, and be at peace with oneself.

For those who are avid readers of this blog, thank you, you probably know by now that this is a toxic waste dump for me: the sewer line that is often clogged with my mental sewage. Sure, once in a while, some gems or valuables would slip and flow through here. Most of the time, this is the raw, adulterated, crude, and mostly honest crap here. So find a channel to let it all go, and live a peaceful, fun, and socially active life.

Here's the thing...

People have asked me privately about this many times... This blog is for my own amusement! There might be some nuggets of truth or useful info on being social while having fun, but mostly my opinions. This is not the New York Times. People and/or events I blog about might or might not exist/occurred; I may or may not be talking about you or anyone in particular, because, after all, I am not that important and neither is anyone else. Seriously, go live the life you want, go make things happen, don't be a stalker or trying to figure yourself / myself / anyone else out by reading this. There is no hidden agenda, no master plan. Be A Man. Live your own life!

P.S. In case it wasn't obvious, this entry is about my feelings how most PU workshops are... gay! As in homo-erotic, man-on-man, butt-raping, recto-rooting, cock-chucking gay, because most participants in the community are! The sooner they accept their lack of success with women is due to their suppressed homosexuality, the quicker they will be happier.

Selling out and moving here

I blogged awhile back and I didn't have the motivation to continue, until we started our own forum. Here I am, back on blogger again, I will continue to blog, probably more about my life than about PUA techniques/theories. Those who enjoyed the rant'n'rave, there will be more of that too!

Much of the day was running around and following up with the situation I discussed previously.

I also discussed at length with a friend about what do I want out of the community. Apparently, people in the community are just as pussified as everyone else outside of it. So what's the point if all people do is to talk behind my back instead of to my face and help me improve? I think I have enough knowledge to start putting it to use for myself by myself.

There is no need to justify myself or prove that I am worthy of their friendship or whatever. Those who think they are above me, I'll let them examine their miserable lives. I'm in this to better myself, I don't need to bash others to make myself look good, nor do I have to engage in gossipy girlie behaviors, nor childish pranks. I intend to be the victor without victims.

I am what I am

I’m a 30something professional embarking on a journey to become that social butterfly. I joined the community back in 2006 hoping to learn to be social, then I discovered that the problem is that environment is filled with wussy guys trying to be alpha. As I record my journey here, what is a better title than summing up this as a journey to Be A Man, to be comfortable in my own skin, to be able to chill with friends, and to surround myself with positive people in this journey, we called life. Sit back, relax, buckle your seat belt, because I don’t want you to fall laughing your ass off. Enjoy!