A new man in 2 years

Today was quite momentous... I officially start my next 24 months in Seattle. Although I can't talk much about it, I finally did something I should have done many years ago but just didn't have the balls until now. Today, I set it in motion. I am almost relieved.

Career-wise, I have decided to put it on hold, at least not at a trajectory I envisioned previously. There are quite a few things I need to do for myself. Afterall, I am here to live my life, and no one else's. I feel good to be at peace with making these tough decisions, which should have been done last summer if not the year before that. Being in a cozy relationship has a tendency to insulate and isolate myself from the rest of the world; now I have been on my own for awhile, I finally feel liberated. The funny thing is that, this morning, I woke up and showered with the same girl I was in that relationship a few years ago. How much has changed and yet, paradoxically, how little has changed!

Tomorrow morning, I will present the 2nd talk of a series of seminars, as sort of a multi-part swan song. I'll probably blog about my research work in the future. For now, I feel almost accomplished, and definitely a well-deserved soon-to-be-minted PhD. The end is near, yet it's also the beginning of a new person, not in terms of degree, diploma, certification, license, etc. In my core, I have changed quite a bit and when she plucked out those gray hairs this morning, I also noticed a dramatic change in my physical appearance.

As the announcer at MGM (Las Vegas) repeated about those caged lions, "It's good to be king!"

Getting anal probed... being gay again?!

There's no right or wrong way of being/becoming a man. I certainly don't have the fool-proof, 100% for-sure way of getting there. One thing I know for sure, being a man means being able to admit faults. We all have strengths and weaknesses, knowing what and when to say when are important.

Drunks and gamblers, the ones who do stupid shit or lose their money, are not men. They have faults and they don't acknowledge them in order to take positive steps toward fixing those faults. Since joining the community, I have came to terms with many of my own weaknesses, and I'm glad I discovered them now so that I'm still young enough to benefit from fixing them. Yeah, there are guys who will say, "Be alpha, be unreactive." True, I certainly have many strengths and they are the reason why I am successful in many aspects of my life today. There are still improvements that I can make now to get me to the next level. Guys who are truly weak, with nothing going on in their lives, are ones who try to be alpha and indulge in self-delusional fantasies.

Speaking of self-delusional fantasies, have you ever noticed guys who claim that aliens visited them are ones with missing teeth, live in a trailor, out in the boonies somewhere? I.e., loser guys who got nothing going in their lives are thinking that space aliens are out to get them?! The funny part is that they often report getting anal probe, which confirms their latent homophobic tendency. I would contend that those who fear gays are generally ones who might be gay. I was quite flattered those gays found me attractive enough to hit on me! Since I have no fear of gays, I found the whole experience rather humorous.

There is a gradation of delusional paranoids. At the one extreme are ones who conjured up these delusions in their heads out of fear. Along that continuum are those who think others are after them because of their own inadequacies. They would pick bits and pieces, obsess with them, try to rationalize their own weaknesses, and find ways to blame others. So why the long diversion? Part of being a man is to be able acknowledge one's weaknesses, willing to work on them despite pain or "losing face," and finding ways to improve oneself instead of blaming others. There certain things I'm far superior at than anyone else, there are also areas in my life where they are weak, incomplete, not fully actualized, when I compare them with others.

Gay enough to be part of "the family?"

There are a few memorable moments in life that I think are worthwhile to remember. As difficult as it is to believe, I work out, as in weight training, in the gym, for years. Never once, I never had one gay guy tried to pick me up. My workout buddies had been approached about going to concerts, movies, dinners, and even coffee! But me? Not only am I low value and ugly, not even gay guys would hit on me!

Until this past weekend, I thought I have to keep writing fake FR/LR's, pretending to be a guru, giving out advice to guys who aren't getting any just to console my ugly ass, because this is the most exciting thing, as in not getting laid, going on in my miserable boring life. Wow, it's so close... to reality. At this low point of my life, girls were rejecting me, sets were blowing me off, two gay dudes tried to pick me up. And boy, did they try to plow. Verbally! That's as far as they went, they didn't even initiate kino, or if they did, they were so subtle that I didn't feel threaten.

I think the guy who opened me did use a line; he was walking around with 2 drinks. Had he been an HB, I would have a standard opener, but as I was looking away, he asked if I saw his friend, which he went on into very detailed description. As soon as I started to talk to him, his friend magically appeared on my other side! I was the meat in the gay-man sandwich.

The funny thing was that I was talking to a Charisma Arts instructor and his 2 students, instead of the community, I deliberately said something along the line of welcoming them to the family, which I immediately followed up with the kind of family that wears pinky rings, not "the family." Apparently, the sharp witted CA instructor picked up on it and insinuated about gays. I don't know him that well and decided not to follow up. Either those gays overheard my statements, or I looked like a vulnerable straight sheep waiting to be sodomized.

Even though they picked the wounded vulnerable target, I still had enough straight mental fortitude to resist them. They were behaving so normal, so comfortable in their own skin, even though the thought of hairy anoos makes my skin crawls! Then I read a fellow blogger's post about being in the community and not opening sets. The problem isn't just skills, but the overabundance of redundant materials that are driving people from having normal interactions.

Instead of sarging, how about guys going out to have fun? That's what "naturals" do, they don't go out with the mentality of picking up girls. They will have fun with or without girls, thus girls are naturally drawn to guys who are having fun. Happiness comes from within, not from without. Just as guys who can't get their acts together, meaning healthy and wealthy, having fun being social, what girl would want to be part of anything less?! Afterall, girls, by nature, submit and follow. Even the most dominant girl still wants a man who can take her, and she would be happily surrender to the more dominant guy.

Getting back to the issue of people in the community, guys get all hung up of scheming, analyzing, planning, strategizing, as though they are going to war. I'm quite sure it works for some people. In what experience I have, I get all fucked up when I talk about game prior to hitting the bar. I certainly can't talk game with a girl. So my only advice for both myself and those who can't open, just be normal, be AFC, be nice, be social and just have boring conversation with strangers. If Forrest Gump can do it sitting on the park bench at a bus stop, I'm quite sure guys who have done all this book learning can do better!

Sadly, I suspect Forrest Gump got more action than most participants in the community, which makes me think that they are more likely to be part of the family.

For a greater good

Much of the seduction community theories and applications were developed on the foundation of evolutionary biology, granted we are products of the selfish gene, sperm wars, red queen,... I contend that magnanimity, selflessness, and a desire to serve a greater purpose, for the pack, the humanity, are worthwhile causes. Many people derided Mystery for getting "AMOG" by Conan on the Late Night Show. Many of these people missed something profound that Mystery said.

Day in and day out, whether at work or at play, someone will ask me if I saw this on TV or heard this on radio (I'm also guilty of this myself), no one seemed to bring up interesting subjects they had just discussed in propria persona with their loved ones, or with someone they care about. Now, we have youtube, myspace, email, text message, and this blog included, to build as communication barriers. We are suspended in our own lacunae, walled off and isolated from each other. No wonder we have an epidemic of depression (yes, 30% of Americans are on some type of anti-depressant), and a whole panoply of stress-related illnesses. Instead of trying to network and connect with each other through these myriads of communication channels, we all should get back to the fundamental human communication channel, face-to-face, going to meet (yes, NOT meat) market to talk with each other!

This is what was profound about what Mystery said in his interview. Yes, there were moments when both Mystery and Conan were obviously jockeying for power and playful bantering. What Mystery said was true, we all need to get out of the house to meet other people; rather than holing up at home, reading seduction forums or going on chats to discuss the finer points of DHV spikes vs. DLV pits, or how to FDQ that isn't a NEG, or whether someone is clowning or peacocking,...

This all crystallized in my mind when I was thinking about the recent tragedy, whether that kid was schizophrenic, we don't know and it doesn't matter, he was a loner. We are, by product of evolution, pack animals; we have this innate need to be part of a group. In fact, this is what is driving many guys into the community and especially ones who populate their forums. However, that isn't enough. We also need to go out and truly reconnect with humanity. The whole b.s. about disconnecting from the matrix is simply wrong. Those who are learning about seduction techniques are not above and beyond an average normal lay person. In fact, these people who are learning these techniques are basically taking a remedial course in becoming normal.

In addition to plugging back into the matrix, the humanity, I think we also need to spend time thinking of how we can contribute back. Not just to serve our selfish need of stroking our own ego or leaving our legacy whether through reproduction or not, we should live each day not just for ourselves but have a purpose, in some ways, of contributing back to humanity. Thanks to Tyler D's post for the inspiration.

LR: Cruising from C3 to S3

I have to admit that I have experienced many sets fizzling out in the comfort stage. I still have to work on balancing the Attraction and Comfort while directing the interaction to Seduction. One thing I remember, probably Mystery, is that I can't language a girl to spreading her legs so I can fuck her brain out.

Instead of taking her statements at prima facie, almost everything she says can be misinterpreted that she is ready to sex me. The last "date" we were together was so unremarkable that I don't even remember what we did. Then she called me out of the blue, hers was the 2nd of 3 calls from 3 different girls that day (I think it's the mating season again). She wanted to play tennis, I dropped by her place, instead of going out to play tennis, we got into deep rapport, again (just like the previous time we got together).

Right at the lull of the conversation, I moved in and we started making out. Just as I had expected, within seconds, she went, "This is bad. We shouldn't be doing this." I almost started to smile because it's almost verbatim from seduction materials. Of course, my immediate response was to agree, got her to laugh, then we went back and continued. Sometimes I wonder if girls are just clones because their behaviors, even in raising objections during LMR, are so stereotypical.

Another time with an FB, while we were full monty, she said, "I can't have casual sex with you." This isn't the first time we hooked up, we have been doing this on and off for a long time. Instead of arguing and languaging her, I agreed, and we went back to what we were about to do.

I suspect that girls tend to raise false objections, just to rationalize in their mind that they have resisted so that they can't be responsible, be blamed for what was about to happen. Sex is no big deal, it's what normal people with no hangups and comfortable with each other have together.

Attraction vs. Comfort, naturally

In doing my post-game analysis, I tend to be a reductionist and break interactions down based on successes and points of failures. In trying to make sense of what I am learning from different methodologies, I'm more of an integrationist to see common principles that unify the whole seduction process from many different seduction schools.

First, attraction means interest, intrigue, curiosity, not anything more than that, such as sexual interest. Whether we can assume attraction or try to elicit it, it has to come first before we can start building comfort. Attraction is the necessary spark that starts the engine. How attraction is generated or should it be generated at all depends on different seduction schools. Almost universally, everyone agrees that attraction is fleeting. Attraction can be quantified by number of IOIs, passing the requisite compliance tests, and attraction can be amplified by flipping attraction switches while disqualifying oneself early on so that we don't appear desperate.

I think indirect opening is great because most beginners are not just desperate for poons, they are also desperate for approval, or any reaction at all so that we can gauge how well our materials worked. Once people have reached a certain level of conscious competence, then direct opener is much more powerful due to the "natural ability" of the practitioner. I read recent in VA forum (on the sidebar), those without skills start at (1) and hopefully, some will arrive at (4):

1. unconscious incompetence
2. conscious incompetence
3. conscious competence
4. unconscious competence

Many people go through life not knowing how they have been fucking up, which would be level (1). By learning seduction materials, we realize how we have fucked up, i.e. level (2). Then we go out and practice regularly until we get better, hopefully, level (3). Once we have internalized this process, eventually, we become "natural" so we appear to do things effortlessly -- we are not consciously trying, because we are already good.

How is all this related to attraction? As it turns out, attraction switches are relatively universal so they become routines. That's why I highly advocate newbies to use community routines. Even those who claim to do natural game, eventually will start retelling the same stories, same jokes, same "interactions." Afterall, we are unique, just like everyone else!

Comfort, on the other hand, is almost like the mirror opposite of attraction. It takes time to build, it's not universal (not everyone has the same likes/dislikes), and it's not fleeting. How we get at that is to speak in emotional language that women intuitively understand. This can be achieved by establishing rapport.

The sequence is to elicit/assume attraction, then we build rapport. The reality is that it's not a linear sequence of 2 steps. Rather, we have to have attraction early on, then we work on comfort. Too much comfort without attraction will land us in the friends zone. So attraction has to be used in the beginning of any interaction, whether it is a call-back humor, new jokes, C&F, banter,... Too much attraction without rapport will give off the player vibe, we appear not serious, or without depth, we are just all about fun fun fun. However, I've read and been told that amplifying attraction is usually sufficient for SNP/L.

In laymen's terms, I almost always begin any interaction with some brief flirting, then I become genuine, i.e. talk about things that I like and what we both share. As soon as I feel the interaction is too deep, I would flirt again (MM people call this the release, basically C&F, more of the push in a pull-push sequence). This cycle is repeated again and again while I escalate physically.

Existential dilemma

Idle hands are the devils tools. Now that we are here with nothing better to do than to figure out how to get more poons. Am I making the best use of my brief time here? Or am I truly using these social skills to apply more to life? I wonder sometimes.

In tinkering around this blog and finally writing up about myself in my profile, I started wondering. My job is fun; I have the freedom to be creative, to learn, and to apply what I know in ways that's beyond what I thought possible when I was a kid. There is the daily drudgery of office politics and doing the necessary kiss up & kick down. I am at a point when I have started to question if I'm putting my time to doing what is of benefit to me, to those around me, and ultimately, to society/humanity.

Much of my life, I have often debate doing what is good for myself and balance that with my time devoted to helping others. There must be an intrinsic value to be selfless, not sure what it's for and I don't know why I have this need to do it. After what happened last week, I kept telling myself it's the right thing to do and to spend that much of time on her case. In the end, it was very emotionally draining to care for someone who I have some emotional investment. This goes back to why I often stay out of the business of caring for people who I already know. In the case of my professional capacity, I have to be selective in how much leakage I can allow in my firewall.

In the past, I took awhile to get to know someone even through warm approaches / introductions. Since I often seem emotionally compact and put together, I came off as someone who wasn't needy and thus, girls tend to chase if they feel attracted, especially through my ability of getting people to open up to me. With cold approaches however, I learned to elicit attraction early on because I thought I would get blown out otherwise. I'm going to improve my presentation, "looks", so that I can go in and be genuine. Unlike working professionally, I need to appear some what emotionally vulnerable, while not be needy, in a balanced way to draw her in and to bring her along for the emotional journey. I am still learning to escalate physically during this journey as well as some verbal & physical flirting.

I can't wait until next weekend, when I get to try out something new. I want to get so good that when I pull off her panties, they will be so wet that when I throw them up at the ceiling, they will stick!

Self-discovery

For those who work at Google, I would like to learn about their algorithm, of deciding what ads to serve. To amuse myself, I have deliberately blogged about different subjects that interest me and in some ways, give people of a glimpse into how my mind works and what goes on in it. Due to the obvious abundance of posts here about pickup/seduction/dating, Google adsense suggested many ads related to that topic; however, it has shown an interesting twist.

The advertisers for one particular niche market must be using similar adwords and are willing to bid more money for them. I don't know whether those who are drawn to it have more disposable income to spend on this or they are more prevalent than what Kinsey reported. There seems to be an over-representation of ads for "Do you know if you are gay?", "How to seduce straight men (for gays)",... I was starting to question my sexuality, yes, I have a very weak frame! Gay jokes aside, I wouldn't be able to swallow this bite of food in my mouth had I not seen these ads right after I refreshed my page, "Secrets about men, for women", "How to catch him and keep him",... Damn, I'm not that gay after all!

I wonder how much more Google and other cookie monsters know about us than ourselves. I'm quite sure our beloved government is tracking us, but corporations, they are a much bigger evil that I worry about. The constitution was drafted in an era when the biggest fear was King and his henchmen; today, who we are as individuals and what can be profited from us are all determined by corporations. So join up blogger, let this wonderful company get to know you, make a few easy bucks, and show me your secrets!

Dumb idiots

Whether we like to accept or not, everyone is a racist, discriminatory, and as much as we would like to deny, we all prejudge each other to some extent. What Don Imus did was wrong, but he was fired for the wrong reason. I doubt that the CBS executives actually let him go because of what he said, but to use what he did to cover up the real reason, Imus is old and not bringing in the revenue like he used to do.

After the political correctness movement of the 90's, most of these idiots did not get smarter, but they simply don't verbalize the same idiotic thoughts going through their heads. Al Sharpton and his ilks managed to silent those idiots, keeping them dumb doesn't mean they are not acting out their same racist, prejudiced, and discriminatory thoughts. Shutting them up and making them clean up their language have not and will never stop them from acting out their thoughts and beliefs.

There are countless number of reasons why people do not like each other. As long as we can separate and categorize people into groups, people will inevitably find an excuse to be fearful, leading to envy and/or hate,... of different groups.

The solution isn't to shut them up; if we want to slowly correct this problem, I would encourage idiots to verbalize their thoughts, then I can expose them for who they truly are. What's interesting is that many of these idiots, in actuality, recognize their own inadequacies and stupidity, which they would normally blame on others. So they tend to keep their mouths shut now, not out of fear of offending others, but be afraid that they will be exposed for their insecurities. I make it a point to bait them, tell racist jokes, antagonize them, keep tempting them, eventually they will show their true color.

No meat, no heat

The only thing to do is to worship at her feet.

Some of us are more fortunate than others. I have older brothers to teach me that I should avoid supplicating to women in general. Growing up I watched them going out on dates, especially dinner dates, I somehow learned that I should avoid taking girls out to eat in general. This was finally confirmed to me loud and clear with my recent encounter with a dinner whore. Yes, Virginia, they do exist, even in the 21st century!

I normally don't take girls out to dinner on day2. From what I observed, this was a total party girl, my plan was to stew her and kept up the attraction over phone and text. It was working until I caved in. I was bored and went down my list of numbers that I collected recently (bad sign #1). She called back to ask me to join her for dinner (bad sign #2). One thing I did right was to make her compromise on where we go for food, however, I had to go pick her up even though I already ate dinner (bad sign #3). We ended up at this fancy place (30 minutes before closing) for food, but she was too busy talking on the phone (bad sign #4), with another guy whom she will meet up later that night (bad sign #5). Sure enough, the tool came to meet up with us at the restaurant (bad sign #6), who I immediately befriended and disarmed. She was whoring for attention, which I directed toward him instead.

The fun began when the dinner bill came, she looked at me, then she picked it up and handed to me. I ignored her gesture and went back to talking with the guy, he got the hint and left. She went on this tirade about she doesn't pay for guys, etc. She spewed out the almost textbook litany of reasons from Cosmo. I smiled and just walked out without looking back. She was so stunned that she seemed to be plastered on her seat. The waiter was dumbfounded, I simply didn't want to get into an argument with any girl in general, especially her, who at one moment, was a sweet, happy, party girl, and at another moment, a total dinner whore who felt this entitlement that the world owed her. Was she an anomaly or very typical of the trust fund babies?

There's a website where girls post what guys not to date, we guys should have something similar for these dinner whores! The sad part is that most guys, even the self-proclaimed PUAs, would gladly pay anything to shut them up, be gentlemen, or do whatever that's necessary to get her spread her legs, including moving in just to get regular access to the vagine, maybe a puppy will soften her up a bit more! They would rather blame other guys for their own shortcomings (yeah, even that physical kind) and failures instead of examining themselves, how they could have done things differently, do some actual self-improvement, pulling oneself up without pushing others down. Damn, I thought there was going to be a funny punch line...

Oh yes, girls are like buses, if you miss one, there will be another one coming, there are millions turning 18 every day. I won't let the fear of loss get to me, as Yoda said, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark SIIIIIIDE!" So "Do, or do not, don't try!"

Selling out and moving here

I blogged awhile back and I didn't have the motivation to continue, until we started our own forum. Here I am, back on blogger again, I will continue to blog, probably more about my life than about PUA techniques/theories. Those who enjoyed the rant'n'rave, there will be more of that too!

Much of the day was running around and following up with the situation I discussed previously.

I also discussed at length with a friend about what do I want out of the community. Apparently, people in the community are just as pussified as everyone else outside of it. So what's the point if all people do is to talk behind my back instead of to my face and help me improve? I think I have enough knowledge to start putting it to use for myself by myself.

There is no need to justify myself or prove that I am worthy of their friendship or whatever. Those who think they are above me, I'll let them examine their miserable lives. I'm in this to better myself, I don't need to bash others to make myself look good, nor do I have to engage in gossipy girlie behaviors, nor childish pranks. I intend to be the victor without victims.

Cunts’n'Cocks: Leaks in the firewall

How much effort do we spend in partitioning our lives into separate compartments? Especially when one overflows or leaks into another, how much can we do to remedy that situation? Or in other words, how many balls can we juggle before one or more will fall through?

I told my bro that my ex-gf basically managed most of the transactions in getting my new house, this is on top of managing her full time job (and employees), her houses, her tenants, and her business. He was surprised how someone can take on so many roles and do them all at the same time. Then shortly after, she called me and expressed how she is stressing out. I can feel the weight of responsibilities falling on her shoulders and that’s tough for a single girl who is about to join the Christmas Cake Club.

Soon after that, I got a call from a girl I dated awhile back. I am doing the ethical thing to help as I have no one to answer to except myself. The most difficult thing is to be honest with myself, and after that, being honest toward others is a cakewalk. In any case, I hope her situation improves as life is as unfair as it is and despite we have walked our separate ways, I still do what I can professionally to make her situation tolerable. Everyone will experience it at some point in their life, hopefully later than sooner.

Being the selfish prick that I am, I thought about myself and how I deal with my stressors and the multiple roles I have to play. After a long discussion with a friend about some other issues, I realized how high and thick of firewalls I have built to partition my life into neat little compartments. In some weird psychological drama, I seemed to have created schizms in my persona that may be impeding my progress.

The question becomes, should I let my guard down, let a few balls dropped, and allow some mixing of different parts of my life? A friend once told me that I blocked out much of the pain and suffering I’ve experienced, which allowed me to keep going, fully functional in my professional capacity. However, in my personal life, I seem to come across as an empty shell, without the drama and emotional turmoils that give people character.

The real conspiracy

Back when I first started running (what I thought was) Mystery Method style, indirect opinion opener, I creeped out 2 girls. That got me back to the drawing board and learned about BL, opening techniques, walk, and a bit style, from Lance Mason of PU101. Then I discovered their programs: Art of Attraction, Art of Rapport,…

Now they have Art of Seduction, along with many other specialized workshops, like Advanced Tactics, pulling girls home the same night, etc. I think the final program should be Art of Everything (A.R.S.E.) The sad part is, all of these “arts,” that they are just breaking bits and pieces of what Mystery described in his M3 model: Attraction, Comfort, and Seduction. I don’t know of what his “New Model” will be, I doubt that it will be that much different. Even the new TMM added one is the “Transition” right after the opener.

Yes, there are other b.s. terms that other schools use like Natural game, Advanced Seduction,… I personally will start an all-Natural, organic, pesticide, herbicide-free, no children were harmed, The Omega Man method. It will start with,

1. Styles of attraction


2. Secrets of rapport


3. Sins of seduction

Come on, guys! If you actually believe that shit, you are fricking high. This is all about fun and games!

FR: How NOT to sarge the bartender’s gf

Be forewarned, this is my first FR. I’m the product of MM, PU101, Juggler, and my personal experience. To start with, I winged with this friend of mine for over 6 months, tonight was the first time he was able to #closed this hot Brazillian girl for day2. We had some good sets before, but never this chilled, at eased, and totally smooooooth. You owe me one! Afterward, he fell back into his rut of leaving early, another friend came just in time so I had an excuse not to talk to girls. Until we argued and I left to get some water,…

There was this hot girl sitting at the bar with this guy. The proper procedure was to open the guy, who had on a green t-shirt, thick golden neck chain, and grilles with ices, which I did by complimenting him for being the pimp. She was into it and I couldn’t get a straight answer what their situation was, so I just assumed he’s an orbiter, even though she was kino’ing him like crazy, but in my mind, I was there to befriend him.

Once the initial awkward stranger talking mode subsided, I asked her a few OEQ’s which she responded. I immersed myself into her answers and related my experiences, stories in life, some exaggerated, some not, that were comparable with the emotional undertone of her statements. She talked briefly about her non-traditional education, rather than busting her with C&F (as David D would recommend), I related her education with a deep emotion of how we struggle with conformity and our yearning to be free. I also spiked in a few subtle neg, such as how her handmade necklace out of some vines reminded me of how my 4-yo niece loves to make necklace out of beads.

As I learned and discussed in my previous rapport blogs, I kept taking her on an emotional journey, of deep and wide emotions to the point where she bought me a drink. Her female roommate came and they went off their discussion. In between her trying to get me involved into their interaction, I threw in a few routines, attraction type, to basically take control of the group to the point her male friend and female roommate had to talk, and I could engage her back in our emotional journey.

The point where the set hook was when she told me the guy serving us drinks was her bf. I tried my bf-destroyer routine and with some more rapport, she revealed the cracks in their relationship and how they don’t have the discussion we were having! Then she and her roommate went off for a smoke. I went and look for my friend who I had that argument, yeah, guys can have drama too!

As I returned, I noticed another guy was talking to the 2 girls, while they were smoking. I went in with some brief attraction materials and befriended the guy; somehow that triggered those two girls decided to go to restroom (why?) and my target insisted that I wait for her b/c I owe her a drink. So I opened that guy and his friends, chit chat, low energy conversation until the girls’ return.

My target took my arm and insisted that I buy her shot (as I agreed to buy the 2nd round for us). We did our shot and related some more, I suspect her roommate got the hint or was bored, so she left. Then my target went into this long ass story that she basically DHVed herself (for you MM guys, we were way into A3/C1). Back in my head, I started scheming for a good reason for us to meet up again. I false time constrainted that I need to join my friend and we should exchange contact info to do our activity. She objected in front of her bf, the bartender about 2 feet away, so I suggested and she complied by punching in my number into her phone and calling me.

Afterward, we talked for another 20 minutes, I kino pinged her, she was definitely a touchy-feely girl. As I was standing up and about to leave, her bf told me that I was talking to his gf, why he waited up until that poitn to tell me? I don’t know.

Break-thoughs:

1. Rapport through emotional journey
2. Cut routines down to < 10% of time spent
3. Get more by doing less, give her the opportunity to talk and spike in a few attraction stories and routines to sustain her momentum
4. Sarge a mixed 2-set at the bar, the bartender’s gf, without a wing

Need help in:

1. Escalate the interaction by taking the emotional journey toward sex
2. Bounce or venue change her
3. A more solid close

The music of Gen-X

My first serious gf introduced me to Alanis Morrissette; don’t laugh, the Jagged Little Pill! Watching this new video brings back memories…

Preventing the Peter principle of PU

Several readers of our forum messaged me about my post regarding Sinn’s statement that 90% of guys going into this community will NOT get good. That was a wakeup call for me to evaluate my progress and it struck a chord among many. Where do those guys who never get good go? I suspect that they constitute the majority of members in most “seduction” forums.

From reading posts in several forums and getting to know a few members, I realize that most participants of forums can be broken down into 2 groups: (1) Keyboard jockeys, and (2) Guys who prey on (1). Why they are there? The ecology of seduction forums fosters an environment that isn’t supportive of guys who want to improve, but to keep guys who have petered out.

I’m quite sure that many seduction forums started with the main altruistic goal of helping guys improve their social skills, their lives, so that they have choice with women. As these forums age, who will have time and money to support them? In fact, most of us met in another forum and decided to leave it because it was neglected. And in order for these forums to exist and self-sustaining, how will we prevent the creeping commercialism? In addition, guys who became good moved on because there’s no incentive for them to stay: more time for pussies or dorky guys? Not a tough question to answer!

Then who stay behind? Guys who are trying to garner ego trips or to hustle a few easy bucks. When we formed this forum, we wanted to create something that will motivate guys to be good. Assuming some of us will be good, how will we keep those guys who became good around? How will we keep guys who are good instead of guys who just getting stuck at this? How will we call out guys who are in this for the ego trips when they obviously got no game?

Seducing men

I can’t believe I’m telling you this…

This will only take a minute.

Give a man a girl, he’ll be happy until she dumps him. Teach a man how to get any girl, he’ll be happy for the rest of his life.

The caveat is that all seduction schools promise to teach guys the latter. How many actually attempt to do that? And how many actually succeed in teaching that knowledge?

Ladies men have existed ever since there are ladies. This is nothing new. We all think that there’s a short cut, one workshop, one bootcamp, one method , one guru that will lead us to salvation. Well, there isn’t. Guys who promise an easy fix are selling snakeoils.

I would contend that most guys who teach this are better at seducing men than women. They make men feel that they are (1) worthy (2) ready to take this power back from women (3) capable of having “hot babes” and 3somes. Guess what? I have seen quite a few guys going into this… Most dabble and by joining a lair, they think they will be good. 90% of the journey doesn’t begin with the first step, in fact, 1% of the journey begins with joining the community. 99% of the journey involves learning by making mistakes, no one there will be holding our hands or console us when some girls give us shit.

After we started to look AND act normal, the next step is to play the number game. Most dating coach will teach us about spitting game and try to convince us that’s enough, as though you can hear drops of her wetness hitting her panties as you do your silly games. You won’t. Running games isn’t enough; most women aren’t right for us, nor are we right for most women. Say we have a 1 in a 1000 chance of finding the right girl, if you start talking to many women, the chance of finding her is the same, however, by probability alone, you might find that one after you’ve talked to 1000 girls. If you don’t play and start talking to women, you won’t find that 1.

Even the best naturals get rejected, they just learn to filter that out and only focus on the positives. Most dating coaches fail just as much as any guy, they just won’t remember or admit to that. By focusing on the positive results, that’s how they get motivated and can overcome their rejection. I suspect most of them, especially ones that are jumping into this recently, are in this to make money off us, not because of their prowess in getting girls, but in their ability to find weak men to pay for their sorry ass, because they certainly aren’t making enough in their real job.

The only way to be better is by committing to it, then grow some balls, have thick skin to face rejection, and stop hitting up on men to boost your egos or line your pockets (yes, this is for those try to be “dating coaches” when you got no game; there might be one bald PUA, and you are not him). One more thing, this game is played for years, very few if any bona fide PUA settles into a relationship with one girl after dabbling int this for a few months.

Remember, 99% of the journey lies ahead of joining the community and 90% of guys fail. Are you strong enough to be that 10%?

The in-her game(tm): Rapport redux

This weekend has been amazing. We all have the ability to heal ourselves; at a later point, I will write a simple intro on our immune system where our body can protect and heal ourselves biologically. For now, I’m going to dive right in and discuss my emotional journey this weekend that led me to this amazing insight.

First, I want to revisit two topics about emotional connection, i.e., rapport, that I didn’t explain clearly in my last post. Imagine our emotional self has both breadth and depth, a simple analogy would be like the ocean.

We can skim the surface, bouncing from point to point without diving in and exploring the depth. That is what is meant by wide rapport, where we explore many emotions without much depth, finding commonalities, not just what we do, but how we feel about certain topics. To get at this, a simple exercise I will do is to write down my list of likes and dislikes (food, music, family, work,…) and to things I start to riff off based on keywords. The goal is to go as far and wide, to visit as many emotional places as possible without depth.

The other way is to dive in and explore the depth of the ocean at a particular emotion. Different emotions have various depths; after navigating through them, deep rapport is about picking a deep emotion and dive right in where we re-live that emotional experience and to make sense of it so that it doesn’t exist like the monster underneath our bed, or like a festering wouldn’t heal. The exercise for deep rapport is to list multiple deep emotions, then think back of a time in our lives where we either first experience that emotion (which is always life changing) and/or that emotional experience has a major impact on who we are.

The sharing of emotional journeys, be they deep, wide, or preferably, both like a roller coaster, is not only therapeutic for the sharer, it also builds a connection and cements the bond between people. Remember when you were a child, how you love bed time stories? Even as adults today, we still like to hear stories. The best stories are not just facts, but they have the emotional impact, that is what we like because we get to re-live them and also we get to know about the person telling those stories.