Living on the backs of idiots

I came across an article that says that in America, there are more outlets for pay-day loan lenders than all MacDonald's and Burger King combined! This got me thinking of a whole slew of things we benefit from idiotic and/or irresponsible adults.

Back when I got my first credit card a long time ago, it has a very low interest rate (by today's standards) and Discover card was the only card company that had this new gimmick of giving 1% cash back (only if you fulfill their long list of requirements that few people do). Now, there are so many credit cards out there with free miles, free points, and even cash back > 1%! Then I realized that credit card companies are not becoming more efficient with the 2% that they collect from merchants, but rather, they are making money off idiots who are carrying balances from month to month at a 20something to 30% interest rate. Of course, let's not forget the huge finance charge and late fee!

Then I look at the whole self-help industry, and especially the seduction community. Here we have a relative large population of guys, who were born book smart, studied a lot, worked hard, and are making a decent salary. With their excess income, they spend on cars, clothes, and condos, but none of that bring them happiness, and guess what? A few geniuses come along to tell them, "Hey, what you are missing in your life is girls! Can you imagine if people love you, respect you, and even have sex with you instead of cursing you each time their computer crashes or program freezes!"

So these guys buy into the whole belief system that they can be somebody, pay their way into an endless supply of pussies, and buy their way into the hearts and minds of people, yes, by becoming PUAs! This is almost like guys going to pay-day loan office because they can borrow a huge sum without having to work for it. Or guys who think that credit card is a cheap and easy way to get a loan, to borrow against their future without having to put in the hard work!

While all that is going on, these self-hype gurus are thriving on the stupidity of these IT guys. Yes, I'm singling IT guys out, and I'm sure that only guys will well-paying jobs can afford to take bootcamps. Sure, there are some inspirational stories of guys scraping by to take workshops, the reality is that only guys with extra money can afford these workshops. So they think they can buy happiness, respect, admiration, love, and sex. What they don't realize that all of those can be achieved the old fashion way, being that social connector, being that guy who is great with everyone, and life is so much easier when we don't have to support these leeches on society by becoming victims of self-hype gurus.

Setting up a budget that works!

So you've done the following:

1. Monitor your income and expense for about 3-6 months
2. You have a set of goals for savings and investing
3. You are pretty good spending less than what you've earned

The next step is to set up a budget. List the major sources of income and expense for an entire year, pre-tax, tax, and post-tax. Be sure to include items that occur every quarter, 6 months, annually or bi-annually,... Then using data that you've collected in the previous 3-6 months, you can guess at how much you earn and spend on a monthly basis in several major categories.

The idea behind a budget is to group expenses together into categories so that you can monitor the flow of money through each category. I like to group my necessities into categories: mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, car/transportation, tax, and insurance premiums.

The major problem that I've encountered is that I don't like getting hit with a big bill every 6 months, 1 year, or 2 years, for insurance premiums, maintenance fees, excise fees, and/or taxes. My solution is to create a savings account that I deposit money into on a monthly basis, because that's how I've divided up my annual budget into 12 monthly budgets. By setting my own escrow funds for paying periodic bills, I have accomplished two things: 1. my monthly budget is stable so I don't have periodic spikes, and the most best motivation of all, 2. I earn a high-yield interest by depositing it into an online savings account. Email me if you want recommendations.

Now that you have allocated money to spend in each category, be sure to reserve some extra funds to the following: 1. emergency fund (savings only to cover expenses for at least 6 months), 2. retirement fund (for savings and investing), and most important of all, 3. fun fund. The last one is an up-to-date tracking of my projected difference between incomes and expenses after I have allocated funds for both (1) and (2). Then I know how much I can spend for the rest of the month!

The reason this is important is that for many people, they can simplify this by carrying that much cash with them. But with credit cards and ATM's so readily available, we have a tendency to spend more by just swiping our cards to pay for impulse purchases. If I know how much I can spend collectively using all those payment methods, I can restrain myself if I were about to make an impulse purchase.

Furthermore, any left over from the previous month, I can save them up for trips, vacations or major purchases in a high-yield online savings account. I may go into how I subdivide that account in future posts. After all, the reason for budget is to divide up how we allocate our money so that we can achieve our financial goals.

What is important to you? And how much would you pay for it?

From numerous discussions that I had with MBA and economists, the central concept of what they do is to compare the opportunity costs between taking action A vs. B. In other words, what are the relative and comparable values between two actions, items, etc.?

This got me thinking about this whole self-improvement and what these self-hype gurus are trying to promote. What service are they providing? Is the service worthwhile? If you were not spending your money in this, where would you spend your money? And this reminds me of a documentary of male prostitutes / entertainment workers in Japan, "The Great Happiness Space," which I have posted here before.

In many ways, these seduction gurus are not very far from being male prostitutes. They are like surrogates for sex for many sex-starved/deprived men. For many guys, I can sort of see how desperate they are for companionship and of physical nature, sexual contacts. Rather than pursuing the stigmatized action of going for prostitutes, they go learn how to get girls, or pickup. Of course, that doesn't sound very pleasant, they call this action something pleasant, like self-improvement, and we all know how important that we must improve ourselves, because after all, we always are students and we can always improve!

So in come these guys, they will teach guys how to get laid, why sell you fish when they can teach you how to fish?! I.e. why would they hand you girls like a pimp would, something we all frown on, when they can teach you to be better men so that you can get girls. When you examine this phenomenon further, at the very basic biological and physical levels, we need women for sexual gratifications. So these guys, in effect, are providing a sexual service to other guys. Instead of pimping out girls to guys, they are selling themselves to other guys, which means these "dating coaches" are really surrogates for prostitutes! which makes them, in effect, male prostitutes.

Jokes aside, do these guys really provide any added-value? Like a chef would when s/he cook what farmers and butchers provide? If you were to pay for prostitutes, do you get more than just sex? Do these guys truly teach you how to be better men, rather than just getting girls?! They would like to convince us that they are... If that's the case, I'm all about applying what I talk about to myself. By that, I mean why don't psychics apply their abilities to improving their conditions? If they are truly such high value men, you know, billionaire guys like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, why do they have to stoop so low to provide such service to other guys?

My proposal is that these self-hype gurus don't really provide any value. This is the best that they can do (applying the Peter Principle here) and if they were not doing this, they would be out whoring themselves in other ways. So before you think about spending money on these guys, ask yourself, if you are in this for girls, perhaps you should just pay girls for their services... rather than through intermediaries such as these self-hype gurus; unless, of course, that you really want guys!

Get rich quick!

That was the first internet spam. A pyramid scheme that promises that will get its participants rich quickly. The reality is that very few things in life can be achieved quickly; life itself is about dying slowly. So how do we achieve anything quickly?

There are very few things we can achieve quickly. I chuckle whenever I see someone promises a quick fix scheme: follow these 5 rules to success, the 3 important steps to get rich, or turn it around, don't make these 10 critical mistakes... The list goes on. But if we were to sit down and reflect on our experiences, both mistakes and successes, we will soon discover what will work for or cost us. Of course, life coaches, productivity advisers, consultants, and a whole long list of societal parasites, or as many would know them as hustlers would name the previous statement as the 80-20 rule. The truth is that, as intelligent individuals, we should critically analyze sales pitch, marketing tactics, and simplify them; i.e., cut through the bullshit.

Take a recent video of David D (DD) that talks about time management. He goes on and on about time management, that these tips will vastly improve our physical health, mental stamina, etc., and basically, they are things that most parents taught their kids. Get up earlier than one starts to work; drink plenty of water, eat a healthy breakfast, exercise, meditate, work for as long as one can without interruption, and of course, take a nap when one is tired.

All those tips come from a program called Guru Mastermind. Now, seriously, do we really need to pay a hack working out of his apartment to tell us what we already know?! Funny how a similar story about Tony Robbins (TR) came up; I was talking with this one girl and she was going on and on about how she's a fan of TR. Being a girl, someone paid for her to attend a TR seminar. She's pretty (and) intelligent (I know, a surprising combination eh!); she basically distilled all of TR's advice down to one thing: think about what you want to do with your life, go do it, don't sit around and make excuses. The genius of TR and DD lies not in what they know how to improve our lives, the human condition, but in their ability to market themselves. They are much better at selling themselves, make them seem more impressive than they really are, and people, one by one, fall for their hustling skills.

Mainstream society likes to call that marketing techniques. I'll probably need to pay $40k / year for an MBA so I too can make up some more silly phrases, hustle the right group of people, and dupe the rest into parting their hard earned cash into my hands. So before you throw your money into any scheme that promises a quick fix, an immediate result, or something so fantastic that it's too good to be true, it probably is. If people are more critical instead of simply accepting whatever someone is trying to hustle, examine who and what would benefit from that action, and whether there's even any truth or validity to that claim, we would be richer by not getting hustled. A side effect is that, hopefully, we will have less hustlers to deal with for the rest of the society. But then, fortunately, there's a sucker being born every few seconds. So at the very least, don't become one of them.

How to be happy... for free!

There's a lot of truth to the expression: ignorance is bliss. I have crossed paths with people in all walks of life and people of varying levels of intelligence. The ones I see most happy are those who accept themselves first, both their own strengths and limitations, especially who are the least intelligent. And worst of all, people are least happy with themselves if they constantly compare with others without the awareness of their own limitations. Even I have suffered through this.

There's no product to buy, no email list to subscribe to, and you definitely don't have to attend any seminar. Several friends over this past week and I had similar discussions. We came to the conclusion the root cause of unhappiness of people is because so many of these unhappy people buy into this whole need to improve. The only people that self-help gurus truly help are themselves... to your base desires, your wants, your envy, your jealousy, and many other traits of social beings that we are and convert us into buying more of their bullshit.

Just as I was writing this blog entry, someone sent me this video. Sure, it can sound condescending and I was a bit annoyed at her style of presentation. The overall message is that we are being pushed, conjoled, coerced,... into consumption. Although this talks about consumption of material goods, in a more insidious way, our consumption of self-help, self-improvement, entrepreneurial guides, and everyone can get rich "information/knowledge" materials is very much the same. We are constantly shown what is possible; the miracle story of how someone became rich and famous, and of course, if we opt-in, subscribe, buy, attend seminars, and enroll in transformation bootcamps, we too can become miracles.

What people don't realize is that miracles are like that for a simple reason, they are VERY RARE occurrences! But in this whole pyramid scheme of repackaging try-and-true ways of becoming successful, we are sold again and again the same bullshit because those hustlers know how to spin the same thing in countless ways! Again, people should go back to doing what has high probability of success than what is possible. We are better off being happy with what we have than trying to strive for these silly goals. One of those goals is that you can work from home, at your leisure, and you can take time off whenever you like. I know plenty of people who work from home, and guess what, they are no happier than people who work in the office! In fact, they tend to be worst off because they lack that human interaction with others.

Life is filled with uncertainties, if we don't choose to be the rock, to be centered, to be happy with who and what we are; we will continue to float in this ocean of filth, constantly rocking back and forth, buying into more bullshit and remain unhappy. No products, no workshop, no book, nothing else matters if we don't make the conscious decision to be satisfied, to accept, to be fulfilled, and to be happy with what is now.

Setting up an effective and functional budget

I've discussed the importance of savings in previous blog entries. How to do it effectively? I've been keeping track of my income and expenditure for the past few years and I've finally nailed down an effective system that works.

In order to make a realistic and effective budget that I can keep up, I've been keeping track of all of my incomes and expenses. Not only do I record my financial activities into an excel worksheet, such as when & where each item occurs, how much, and involves which account (e.g. credit card? checking account?), I've also categorized all my transactions. On a monthly or any arbitrary period, I add up all my activities according to categories that I've set up. This way, I can get an overall view of how much I've earned and spent in each category.

The key to keeping track of financial activities is strike a balance between getting a summary (big picture) view vs. sufficient granularity so that I can identify which is most profitable and where I spent the most; i.e. finding leaks that I can plug. This is why categorizing each transaction is important, so that I can keep a summary table of categories, where I can track and eventually budget in advance.

To start with, each account has its own manila folder, preferably the pocket kind so receipts and invoices don't fall out of the sides. Each week, record all those transactions into my excel worksheet. My template is to have one row per day, and at least one column per account. The columns are not fixed, I have at least a dozen columns to handle several transactions per accounts and for multiple accounts. So each label includes what it's about (vendor, supplier, what it's about, category) and also which account. I have set up excel functions for each account to tabulate only transactions of that particular account. On the side, I have a list of different categories, and associate with each category, there's a summary value for each month. I also include how far away from the budget and what is the monthly average for this year and the last. This way, I can predict how much I will need to allocate for next year's budget.

The beauty of this system is that I can keep track of not only what's going on, whether my finance has deviated from history, my current progress and what else I need to do to reach my goals. If you want a copy of my excel template... shoot me an email.

Does 'passive income' exist?

People often ask me about how this blog is doing and whether I'm making money from this. Yes, I do, but not as much as people are led to believe because of hype. If you are a frequent reader, you know how I like to draw parallels... Just like most seduction gurus talk about how often they get girls, the reality is that they are, AT BEST, just normal dudes who talk to girls and, like regular folks, they get about the same amount of tails.

Sure, there are times when they get a few more girls, but those are not that often. Unless you don't have a day job, it's not that fun to go on 4-5 dates (with a different girl each time) per week. Dating can be fun, but at that point, it becomes a chore, and who likes chores?!

Similarly, when people talk about earning a passive income, like investing, rental properties, blogging, Adsense, and who knows what else self-help/self-hype gurus will come up with next. There are many active and hidden expenses that people don't know about in order to earn a "passive income." There is a certain amount of voyeurism among people who read blogs, in order to satisfy that, they need a certain amount of personal tidbits and emotional escapism to keep them coming back for more. After awhile, blogging can take an emotional toll or at the very least, it takes a certain amount of passion and drive to keep going.

I was reading this one article about how "passive income" is really a myth. People forget to factor in other costs; take any rental property, those investment self-hype gurus don't talk about the work of finding good tenants, credit and background checks, upkeep of the property, and of course, good customer service is hard work. The easiest way to be rich is to born into a wealthy family, short of that, people have to work hard, work smart, save, and invest. There simply isn't an easy way around this... A passage that people often cite from the book "The Millionaire Next Door" talks about the following: Millionaires are frugal, most rich folks are that way because they saved what they make; sure, they might earn slightly more than others, but their saving habits are what make them rich. "They drive old cars, live in modest houses and wear average clothes. They are rich, not because they are lucky or they have found some secret formula to wealth, but because they work hard, keep a long-term perspective and spend little."

I previously blogged about how to be successful: we must have good mentors, reliable and loyal friends who will challenge and help us, and we don't have to be the best, just slightly better. The trick is to maintain that habit.

How to achieve success by being mediocre

Many people set their goals so lofty that they are unattainable. Even small businesses, they don't all set out to be Fortune 500 companies, but many are successful by being among the Fortune 5000 or even 1 million. Instead of setting oneself for failure, we all can achieve some measurable success by going for incremental goals. We don't have to be the best, we can win just by being slightly better than one's competition.

Someone sent me an interesting article a few days ago, it talked about how if we just invest $350 per month, with a compound interest of 8% for 35 years, we can become millionaires in 35 years. Granted, a millionaire in 35 years isn't that big of a deal, but it'll still be better than slaving at a job that one doesn't like. So instead of trying to be rich by scamming one's friends/colleagues/chumps, people can live a relatively comfortable and happy life by setting up a budget with allocation for savings and investments. We don't have to have the millionaire mindset, we just have to be realistic; we have to focus on actions that are doable and goals that are achievable.

When I first started this blog, I just needed a place to vent because of so much insanity and stupidity that I allowed into my life. There were so many that jumped on the blogging bandwagon in the local scene, several thought that they will become some multi-state / international conglomerate by taking over the world, it has been nearly 1.5 years, I think this is the only surviving blog. I don't have to write well or to come up with some grandiose ideas, just with a little bit more passion, persistence, and consistency. My blog has not been about being about the best or better than anyone else, I try to focus on what is probable than what is possible.

Just as I didn't set out to be where I am today professionally, all I did was directing my focus on getting things done, going the distance, and doing what is required. Sure, I was slightly better now and then, but I certainly have never been the winner all the time, just sometimes. I'm sure there are so many that fell by the wayside because their goals were not about themselves but to be better than everyone else, to be the best, by going after others or tearing down others.

This came up in my conversation with a friend last night, he was telling me that he worked at his job for nearly a decade, he is not the CEO, but with his company undergoing downsizing, his job is quite secure while earning a relatively stable and comfortable income. But the friend he went to school with, she has been struggling, hustling for over a decade, she is where she was then. That's the thing about people who aim too high, reach too far, there are countless stories of failure, the only reason we don't ever get to read or hear about them is because we are so obsessed with the few success stories.

Instead of failing to become among the winner, or be among companies that make billions, we can be just as successful AND happy by making millions, or even just a few thousands per month.

5 tips from the check forger himself

Most computer/net savvy people probably don't use/write checks anymore... but if you do, here are 5 ways to avoid being a check-fraud victim.

Seeds of compassion

Thanks to those seeds, we have over 4 days of endless stop-and-go traffic. There is simply one message that I distilled from all Dalai Lama's talks and discussions: work on oneself and be nice to others.

I was having a discussion with a friend regarding a recent episode on Dr. Phil regarding "Pickup artists." I personally find the juxtaposition of those pretty cool guys from TMM (circa 2006), Ross Jeffries (the creep), and "con artists" very amusing. I've been blogging about how most wannabe-PUA's are just wannabe-hustlers. First, they learn a few sales techniques, they tried AND failed to get girls with them. Second, they then use those techniques to seduce guys by using the possibility of hooking up with girls as the bait. Although most fail at the first step and just give up, probably 60-70% of any lair, those who are tenacious enough would make it to step two. Eventually, however, most guys will see through that veneer of bullshit and dismiss them... Some even run away from our little fair city. Finally, even fewer make it out of the second step to work for a "seduction school."

What people don't realize is that the whole point about hustling people is a very demeaning process to their marks / targets / HBs (i.e. others), and even emptier for their own souls. Despite what all those gurus say about how this is a self-improvement process, presenting one's best self, and all other bullshit that is dished to the general public. At the end of the day (or night), guys are trying to get sex from girls. This is the fundamental reason why so many fail; they might not consciously recognize this, but deep down, they even self-sabotage because it's not something inherent within us, the sociopathic psychology to manipulate and use others.

I sort of tangentially touched at this topic that many guys in the community guys feel (and not necessarily true) that girls and/or society have ripped them off and this is their way of getting back at people. That's why they are so eager for routines, techniques, methods, and even pay money to take bootcamps repeatedly to get those skills. If they are truly normal and social human beings, they would have learned to get along with people, and in the process, sex isn't that big of a deal and girls are plentiful instead of going to lairs for friends and out sarging every night for girls. And guess what, the biological process is very inefficient, there will always be guys who look like Screech (from Saved by the Bell) and grow up to be like that creep, and guess what, their genes will be "unapologetically wiped out."

Instead of trying to get something or someone, people should learn to accept themselves for who they are, and may be even their station in life. The better solution is to improve oneself, not necessarily at the expense of others, but be an interesting, a more learned, a more intelligent, and of course, a funnier guy. The next step is to surround oneself with good people. Instead of trying to get girls, learn the social skills to initiate, develop, and maintain friendships. Instead of trying to make money off the back of one's friends, be the guy who is knowledgeable and creative to come up with something new rather than to rehash the same bullshit being promulgated within an incestuous self-loathing community. Truly live the life of success instead of trying to masquerade as someone else, those who keep faking it rarely if ever make it. People are discovering the only way to be successful is to follow traditional paths to success, there are few shortcuts in life and most of them can't be used by most people. We all have to pay our due.

What am I wondering this Wednesday...

Have you noticed that when people are preoccupied with one particular topic of discussion because they are having problems, failing at it, and probably overly obsessing about it but would not do anything about it?

Take this example, older adults with constipation would talk about their bowel movements obsessively. But people who don't have that problem, taking a dump is a regular ritualistic part of their lives, they rarely ever talk about their regularity. So for guys who constantly talk about getting girls, I wonder if they are also not getting sex... with girls... so to them, it's almost as insurmountable as Mt. Everest to a blind and quadriplegic climber. Just something I wonder...

If you are wondering why I haven't posted lately, I am busy with work... things I do to pay bills. You know, this whole passive income isn't working out, and my bootcamp / workshop won't be ready for awhile. Actually, I've been surrounded with mostly normal, social, and intelligent people. Without douche bags like community guys in my life, I don't have much to complain about.

Don't worry though, I have made some insights about life in general. How to create a life of abundance and opportunities... the methodical, one-day-at-a-time, plan. Stay tuned!

Valuing diversity

If you are reading this blog, you probably have wondered, why is this lunatic so negative? How does this fool even get up in the morning? How on earth does he manage to get anything done? Why is he so critical? Why can't he be more positive? Why doesn't he praise me more and tell me that I'm a good person and I'm worthy to be alive?! All because I am very special and unique, just like the rest of the 6 billion people on Earth!

Well, I'm not your mommy who coddled you. I don't want to be the daddy you wish you had. I sincerely believe that we have the possibility of doing anything and achieving whatever goals we set for ourselves. All I am pointing out is the realistic probability of accomplishing them. According to the laws of quantum mechanic and what we know of elementary particles, it's possible that we can walk through walls, but the probability of aligning particles just right for one particular person to walk through any one wall is infinitesimally small. Yet, dreamers continue to fantasize. There will always be another get-rich-quick scheme right around the corner. You can get your student loans paid off without having an income. There will be another Nigerian prince who needs to use your bank account to transfer money out of his country. In a few more months, someone will come up with yet another fool-proof method of getting girls. I would be very selfish if I don't tell you about my plan to have a massive passive income from blogging so that I can retire from my real job. And there will be a cure for cancer too!

There are couple of culprits for fueling this delusional thinking in people. The main cause being the feel-good self-esteem building humanist movement that started in the 1970's. This problem is especially prevalent among American kids who grew up in single-mother households; they are brought up to think they are kings and queens of the world without their fathers to rein in their childhood fantasies. Most of them think that they can be anything they want, all because their mothers told them so, but almost everyone of these kids is expecting constant praise to get anything done! So the end result is that we now have grown ups with the Peter Pan syndrome failing to live up their dreams and of course, they blame everyone else for their problems except themselves.

Well, life is tough and it's about time that someone comes along to smack some sense into this whole bullshit self-improvement I-can-be-anything movement. Truth is, I think this movement is a joke and I'm not the only person to see the whole absurdity of it all. This reminds me of a dear Jewish friend of mine who explained to me. According to him, had all Jews been positive and optimistic during World War II, while Hitler and his minions were gassing his people, none would have escaped and continued what's left of their culture. That, my dear readers, is why in difficult times, the genes of people who examine life realistically, critically, and to many, negatively, persist and thrive. In periods of prosperity, the delusional optimists will triumph without any doubt. But when shit hits the fan, just like when this whole housing bubble popped and the hedge funds collapsed, who will come clean up the mess?!

Instead of waiting for disasters, we might as well prepare for them. Better yet, we should call out those hustlers. When something is too good to be true, it probably is. Nearly one year ago, I got into a huge flame war on a forum for calling out two hustlers who claimed to have game; I waited until they started to rip people off. A few months later, another group of hustlers tried. Not even half a year later, another hustler emerged and yet another recently. So instead of asking people to pay for his dinners, or pay him half-price for his expert dating advice, he was asking for people to give him money in unmarked envelope and the latest one, give him gift cards! Wait until the IRS get wind of their "income." At what point do people see these internet forums for being the cesspools of losers and hustlers?!

Putting these entertaining anecdotes aside, the world is a big place and there are many types of people with differing opinions. I'm sure some of those optimists have done some good things and a few have achieved beyond their wildest dreams. But those are miracles, and miracles are exceptions. Just as there are some comatose patients who wake up after decades-long comas, what we don't ever get to see are the tens of thousands who died of bed sores. Just as in almost every lottery drawing, we will get to watch the jubilation of one or a few winners, but we will never find out the millions more who lost. So instead of paying to win that lottery drawing or waiting to wake up from that coma, we can follow many well-known well-trodden traditional paths to success. Better yet, if someone thinks s/he is so special and unique, s/he should go discover his/her very own path to success instead of paying some hustler to learn to do it. Be creative and be original!

Pickup and Porn

They have more in common than the letter P! Let's start with their participants... They all join this thinking this is something they too can do easily! Every participant wants to become a star, with all that entails, fame and fortune, in movies, walking the red carpet. Guess where guys usually end up, surrounded by more guys, doing ugly ass and/or fat girls, and to scrape by, spend more time with guys doing, yes, that's right, gay porn.

Actually, that was just a diversion. From the business perspective, both markets are saturated, there's an up and comer every second. Products are flooding the market non-stop. Like porn, most guys just watch, read, listen to these pickup materials, all done passively; they never actually implement and act on what they've learned. Instead, they get sucked into this world of pickup and they keep consuming more materials.

Similar to porn, there used to be the slickly produced materials. Then came the gonzo stuff, similar to many infield footages. Just wait, there will be many amateur videos, just like porn.

What got me thinking along this line is I noticed some gurus are giving this stuff away, in private channels, to share for free! I suspect they know that it's not the materials that people are after, but the opportunity to live vicariously through these pickup stars. I believe that many people, deep down, know that they will never be like these guys, so they have given up and just pay money to get more materials. In effect, they become fans of different gurus and of course, they will fight and argue about minutiae with each other in forums instead of doing what they should be doing, out talking with girls.

The economic aspect of this is that everyone is trying to expand his shares of the limited market. The market for seduction materials is a small segment of a much bigger market, self-improvement; a purely American invention that thrives on the belief that everyone can be some body... The sad reality is that like every young girl wanting to become a starlet, usually ends like doing porn in the porn valley. Most PUA-wannabe's end up being yet-another-KJ (or another blogger!), a few try to hustle!

The sadder aspect is the social commentary of how we conduct ourselves. How we, as people, are becoming voyeurs, on the sideline, instead of as participants in life. A good friend and I have been discussing the whole marketing nature of all this. Most guys teaching this have no skills, even myself, I would not consider myself have skills enough to teach people. What I have is a set of keen eyes and a reasonable intellect to see past the marketing gimmicks and deceptions. I made enough progress to see this is possible for some people and ultimately, this is about changing myself by myself for myself and with very minimal influence by materials.

Another way to make money

Just when I thought the marketing campaign for pickup workshops has bottomed out, there's a whole new way to make money off chumps. Where do we find chumps? Once again, the community!

Many marketing campaigns come down to a few keywords/phrases: final, last, only, rules you don't want to break, mistakes you don't want to make, sure-fire way, this just takes a minute (sounds familiar? you know, the false time constraint), exclusive, key to (whatever), what other instructors don't want you to know,... The list goes on. Now that using girls to get guys isn't enough. I know, surprising, sex doesn't sell as much as this new way.

Appeal to people's egos. That's right! If sex doesn't get chumps to fork over their money, perhaps they don't know what sex is like, or may be, just may be, not sex with girls. So the latest way to get money from guys, get them to become apprentices, join the latest "instructor training program!" So many guys think they have game, so the only way to get those guys to fork over money is to have a new level of workshops/materials. Tell them they too can be instructors!

The closest analogous program I could think of is the Microsoft Certified Solution Developer. If they have written a decent program that works, with an intuitive interface, then they wouldn't need people to support it. So if pickup workshops work so well and so effective, they wouldn't need so many instructors, so many refresher courses, so many new methods. Here's a tip for those chumps who are still looking to get girls...

1. Get your shit together (if you are depressed, take care of it; if you are gay, accept it and go chuck some cocks or after guys' anus, not their wallets or companionship, i.e. find more wings!)
2. Earn a decent income to support whatever you want to do
3. Have friends, if you don't, go out and make some friends
4. Talk to girls, if they like you, set up something for the two of you to do
5. Take her to your or her place, git'r'done.

Really, it's really THAT simple! It's not the five-step program, the required five rules. In fact, sometimes you can go from meeting her to fucking her within 15 minutes or less. It's really that easy! You know the only requirement?

I can phrase this in so many ways to get you to fork money over to me. The simple but sad truth is, there's really not much to getting girls. Yes, the only requirement, is that you have to engage the girl somehow... be that conversation, dance, whatever to get your body near hers. And if you are surrounded by girls and you are not fucking any of them... just hang tight, I'll blog about that real soon!

The underground pickup drama

I've been waiting to blog about this and I am sure the landscape of pickup / seduction / dating workshop will change quite a bit in the coming months. This is more than just a fall-out from the VH1 show. If any self-proclaimed pickup doesn't get his act together, not only will s/he miss the boat on this round, but the likelihood of staying in business is very slim. Sure, there's a noticeable price increase in almost all workshops; but this impending change might raise the barrier of entry for many self-proclaimed gurus.

There was always Ross Jeffries doing his thing until Mystery turned the whole KJ world upside down. In came the marketing genius of David D, restoring the balance back to the KJ world with his one after another boring lecture. The first failure of Mystery was the TD/RSD split away from Mystery while taking away Mystery's method. In the land far-far-away, there was Juggler doing his thing in Michigan. Out came Style's book, which he capitalized on with his "final" bootcamp, his academy, more books,... who knows what drivel he will come up with next?! Finally, Mystery's VH1 show. Right before the taping of the show, there was yet-another-split between Mystery and "his" company, Savoy. In the meantime, RSD managed to survive the fall-out from Style's book and returned bigger and stronger than ever.

The rising tide initiated by Style's book lifted all boats. It opened up a whole new market that even David D failed to do. There was a huge feeding frenzy. Like any market that expanded, there's an inevitable contraction... which results in merger/acquisition and of course, many quitting because they failed to carve out their market shares. In camp one, there's Mystery, Style, and potentially, Ross Jeffries, and David D. The opposing camp, there's Savoy, BradP, and Badboy. Due to the existing bad blood between Style and RSD, looks like RSD is joining into camp two. There are a few stragglers: namely, Pickup101 vs. Sean Newman/Messenger, Juggler/Charisma Arts, and a few others.

This is just a natural history of any emerging market. As it matures, it usually ends up with only 2-3 competing conglomerates. There are still many undecided factors. Where will the barrier to entry be? How much of the market has yet to be tapped? If David D is going back to his marketing root, is this a sign that the pickup market has been tapped out? Will there be any niche markets? How will this market expand and reach the masses that Style, David D, and Mystery failed to do?

Just as there is no Santa Claus, this isn't a men's movement. It's just another self-improvement craze / fad that will fade away with time. If you actually spent money on this, you've been had. This was the genius of marketing and you were just a pawn. How to avoid all this bullshit?! Go out and talk to people, learn to interact with others before you even dream of getting any girl, any where, any time.

The wizard behind the curtain...

Perhaps I'm the only one, or may be not, that faithfully believed many pickup techniques and practitioners of those techniques to be true. There's a certain amount of admiration and after what happened recently, I am slowly beginning to see the light. And if people haven't noticed, this revolution of thoughts and skills has returned me to where I first started, and what everyone else (outside of the community) said before has turned out to be true.

Yes, there probably was a community of guys who weren't that socially savvy; they probably spent time out there socializing and figured out what works and what doesn't. Then marketing people discovered this group of guys who have some skills, and the marketeers hype them up to be superheroes, when these "amazing feats" are what normal, well-adjusted, social guys have been doing forever.

The magic isn't in the techniques, but in marketeers' ability to hype and sell these seemingly mundane social skills to be endowed with some magical powers to social retards, who obviously don't have the social intuition to figure out that these techniques aren't that special. What I find funny is that THE GUY who started mass marketing these pickup techniques (of being cocky & funny) has returned back to his root and now offers to teach his marketing techniques to his peers in marketing. This is the sign of the golden age of pickup techniques is ending because they have milked the market dry and the only route of expansion is back in marketing... to find the next niche of rich retards.

I had an inkling of what's going on last year with the mass marketing campaign for the Anal Method. Then I got to meet some dating coaches, sure, they were somewhat smooth, but I didn't see what they claimed to happen in their "reports." Most were just guys out talking to people and most conversations didn't go anywhere. Then recently, some people showed me videos of these secret "edited" footages of sarges by these gurus (including that of the World's Greatest Pickup Artist), I finally see that this has all been a big marketing hype.

Without a doubt, my life has changed since I've been out socializing with people. I now have more friends than ever, more social events to attend to than before, more girls than I thought possible. In terms of the time and money that I've spent, and unlike many who have taken countless workshops, which I've always been skeptical, is it worth it? Not really. All those workshops, techniques, can be distilled into a few things someone can do... and these are basically what people have been saying all along, the problem is that they didn't elaborate on what they mean, and I will blog my interpretations of these sayings:

1. Be yourself
2. Have fun, live life to the fullest
3. Be social, surround yourself with good people

That's it... There's no need to buy the latest, greatest, one-time-only, final workshop... the last brain transplant... the final weekend before I leave to bum around in the next town... and you certainly don't have to leave me any unmarked envelope with cash, because who would want IRS to start snooping into this type of unreported income?!

And yes, this Halloween has been amazing! I was among friends, met some cool new people, and I'm sure the next one will be even better. Sorry, I won't post any embellished report because most of my interactions are like this.

Funny how we are synchronized

I've been spending most of my time learning to format my, uh, "book." Office products have so many limitations. Even a simple task like setting page numbers in different parts of the same document requires so much work! And then Excel, I have programmed in VB before, and I try my best to avoid it. There are so many inconsistencies in how Microsoft decided which is a normal and a meta-character. Although my worksheet looks whacked, I like how I have combined my daily journal and financial activities together. You don't think I actually talk about my entire life here, do you?!

After I finished all that, yeah, I spent nearly 6 hours on those two things today. I read Twitchy's blog about managing one's finance. It's definitely one area that MANY people neglect, especially girls. I have seen girls who have great jobs for just graduated, as in making $80-90k, they are carrying balance of $20-30k on their credit cards, not to mention student loans, car loans,... For many of these girls, they get a new dress whenever they go to a new party, which happens 2-3 times per week. How will they get their lives together and be self-sufficient without carrying all those debts and start earning some passive and investment-based incomes. Yes, I do have the millionaire mindset; just not at leeching off the community like many "dating coaches."

With each successive wave of newbies into learning pickup, I see so many guys who don't have jobs, hold jobs, or properly manage their finances. Some even live with their parents, don't own cars, and/or can't drive. And they want to take girls home?! I figured early on back when I started college, girls are an expensive hobby. Dating can be quite costly, even if we stick to the $40/date (after splitting the bill), and multiply by that by 3-4 dates per week. This, of course, doesn't include when I go out with friends on weekend. On top of all this, there's the physical wear and tear too. We have to eat right and exercise; all those happy hour food and post-midnight meals/snacks are not good for our bodies either. This is especially true for guys getting girls off Craig's List who end up being sick all the time from "kissing girls;" like that's a DHV! The second I sense that I'm not feeling well, I immediately do what is required to get better... getting ill or any type of STD is not a DHV, it's a clear sign of stupidity, uh, in PUA lingo, DLV.

Funny how social retards turn everything that's socially unacceptable and wrong into something to brag about. Keep telling me those funny stories, I enjoy laughing as much as the next guy at dumb asses, now that I don't hang out with them anymore.

From geeks to gamers

The community is comprised predominately of guys from the computer industry. I have never worked in it so I wouldn't know. In my line of work, we deal with people all day long and our success is determined mostly by our social skills and in rare instances, technical knowledge. What began as a discussion at work on why most guys will "hit it" with almost any girl, we ended up talking on being normal, which reminded me of what I wrote awhile back. I see becoming a “pickup artist” as a two-step process for many guys: 1. normal, fun and social 2. pickup artist.

Most guys starting in the community tend to be shy, introverted, perhaps even geeky individuals who didn’t undergo the usual socialization process. Before they can start “gaming” girls, I believe they have to learn to be normal first. By normal, they have to be able to to relate to people (gender independent), chill, relax, and have fun.

A good test whether someone is a normal and social person is: If this person were to be introduced to a group of (non-community) friends in a social setting, would this person able to befriend those people and he is just so cool that they want include him into their social circle?!

Some normal turned community guys I know are afraid of introducing community guys to their normal friends because guys who study to become pickup artists but didn’t go through the stage of being normal & social tend to be a bit off, and tend to weird out normal people. If someone can’t relate to people on a friendly term without gaming them; by that, I mean this person can only talk about the game, or whatever geeky esoteric topics not that many people care about, he is doing this ALL WRONG!

Many guys I’ve met from the community can’t walk up and chill out/befriend with normal guys hanging out at bars. Instead, they would read and try to apply AMOG tactics, when in reality, the best way to steal a girl from anyone or group is to be the guy who brings value, who is more fun, and who is more socially savvy than the rest of the group. If someone can’t do that, my suggestion to this person is to step back, stop gaming, and learn to be normal, learn to have fun, tell a few dirty jokes, and god forbid, even be AFC so that one can relate to normal people.

I notice many community guys are very intelligent yet quite shy. In actuality, they have this sense of arrogance, as though they are above commoners. Despite what community guys think of lay people, the latter are probably getting more lays than those in the community. I recognize that where I work and what we do, we are in our ivory towers. This attitude of superiority, in fact, is what prevents many of us from relating to people. Just chill, life is more than just a race of intellect and one-up-man-ship.

The whole idea of gaming is about being normal, fun, and social. This means being able to strike up a conversation with a stranger anywhere, making small talks about mundane, boring subjects and can connect with people in general.

Go read a book, learn something new (not just openers and routines), be interested and interesting. If someone doesn’t have a life outside of gaming, he can’t game. Be a normally engaging guy first, that people enjoy his company. Be comfortable in one's own skin.

This is a 2-step process if someone is not already socially savvy, FIRST learn to be normal & social, THEN learn to game girls. This is supposed to be fun, not work. I'm not one of those PU workshop instructors, I think the minute I turn this into a money making venture, I would have a difficult time keep going out to have fun being social. Then my goal isn't to enjoy the company of others, and my actions would be to hustle other guys so that I can maximize profit, thus I would have to seduce men instead of women; yes, that would be very gay!

What's your price?

This is becoming an apparent money driven business. I'm one of the few hold outs who think the community should remain free. Yeah, free love! Who would have thunk that?! In any case, just a brief survey. If you were to take a recent newbie in the community out, to show him the way, how to harness the force, decipher the matrix, whatever gay shit you would discuss and demonstrate... What would you charge for your service?

The going rate for most workshop is around $1600 for about 25 hours. Some charge more, and others less. What do you want in return, to compensate you, for taking someone out?

1. Some guys suggested buying drinks. I'm all for that as that would relieve anxiety.
2. What about cold hard cash? How much?
3. Better yet, I think we should indoctrinate newbies like I would into any gay club, a bj. A bj a day, keeps the doctor and anxiety away. Orgasms are great ways to release stress. I rub one out before I do any approach, I might as well teach a newbie how to do it for me.
   

No more!

When is it enough? How did people get by without all these self-improvement workshops, seminars, support groups, "communities,"...? People around me talked about this and complained that some are workshop junkies, etc. Then a friend invited me to go with him to a promotional seminar for The Millionaire Mind Intensive workshop. Okay, I have to confess that I'm quite judgemental... I looked around the room. I had this distinct feeling that those people there and I were functioning at different levels.

There is a uniquely American phenomenon, the crazed drive for self-improvement, to chase after that Horatio Alger myth, the American dream. Unlike much of the old world, where our station in life would be pre-determined; social mobility is rather limited and much of it is accomplished through marriages rather than pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. Due to the amalgamation of different cultures, people, and the overall feeling of having a fresh start among immigrants, we all think we can strive to better ourselves, to improve, to change, and to be better than our parents.

From my limited knowledge and perspective, this started by Freud, followed by the American obsession with psychology, fueled by commercialism of advertisements, and some distilled the same sale techniques to develop this whole new industry. I would put everything under the self-improvement category. Within it are different niches, wealth building, health maintenance, and more recently, the seduction community.

Sure, I am all for improving myself. Do I really need to commit so much of my limited resources (mostly time) to this when I have more pressing matters? Like doing my job well, managing my life and relationships with others. Back to the promotional seminar, I met up with many guys from the community. The funny thing is they sounded so alike, almost brainwashed to spew forth the same crap; but they have done nothing to improve themselves. They would go to one seminar after another, just as some guys in the community taking one workshop/bootcamp after another. The problem isn't just going to subscribing to one after another, but these dudes are deluding themselves to think that if they keep going to seminars, they will become millionaires, "pickup artists," whatever else without actually doing the hardwork of making things happen. They would learn about hypnosis, destroying limited beliefs, changing their money blueprint, voice training, salsa dancing, improv, working on innergame, everything else EXCEPT actually going out and talking to girls!

I'm willing to bet that they also spend much of their days reading up, "contributing" to forums, listening to tapes, and at the end of the nite, alone and probably masturbating to their "girl friends" on facebook or myspace instead of the actual act of pounding the vagine. I am by no stretch of imagination to be any good at this pickup b.s. However, I am definitely not buying into this whole community b.s. about doing bootcamp, workshop, fixing problems. Sure, our parents probably didn't have that many sex partners, they certainly are successful enough to leave behind progeny, us. I doubt that they went through the same b.s. that we are trying to learn, practice, do, and help ea other.

When I see and read about people signing for workshops, bootcamps, seminars... I just want to go up and smack these dumbasses upside their heads. Instead of giving up one's responsibility of doing self-improvement to one's coach(es), why not do what self-improvement is suppose to do... by oneself. Just like self-esteem should be coming from within oneself. I wrote this before: Happiness comes from within, not from without. No amount of money, time, energy, and effort will worth a damn until people start doing. There's a whole industry of leeches who feed off our craving for something more, something better,... when we have all that we need to be better, ourselves. So stop reading this blog and go do something about your life, don't be an addict, be a man!