Living on the backs of idiots

I came across an article that says that in America, there are more outlets for pay-day loan lenders than all MacDonald's and Burger King combined! This got me thinking of a whole slew of things we benefit from idiotic and/or irresponsible adults.

Back when I got my first credit card a long time ago, it has a very low interest rate (by today's standards) and Discover card was the only card company that had this new gimmick of giving 1% cash back (only if you fulfill their long list of requirements that few people do). Now, there are so many credit cards out there with free miles, free points, and even cash back > 1%! Then I realized that credit card companies are not becoming more efficient with the 2% that they collect from merchants, but rather, they are making money off idiots who are carrying balances from month to month at a 20something to 30% interest rate. Of course, let's not forget the huge finance charge and late fee!

Then I look at the whole self-help industry, and especially the seduction community. Here we have a relative large population of guys, who were born book smart, studied a lot, worked hard, and are making a decent salary. With their excess income, they spend on cars, clothes, and condos, but none of that bring them happiness, and guess what? A few geniuses come along to tell them, "Hey, what you are missing in your life is girls! Can you imagine if people love you, respect you, and even have sex with you instead of cursing you each time their computer crashes or program freezes!"

So these guys buy into the whole belief system that they can be somebody, pay their way into an endless supply of pussies, and buy their way into the hearts and minds of people, yes, by becoming PUAs! This is almost like guys going to pay-day loan office because they can borrow a huge sum without having to work for it. Or guys who think that credit card is a cheap and easy way to get a loan, to borrow against their future without having to put in the hard work!

While all that is going on, these self-hype gurus are thriving on the stupidity of these IT guys. Yes, I'm singling IT guys out, and I'm sure that only guys will well-paying jobs can afford to take bootcamps. Sure, there are some inspirational stories of guys scraping by to take workshops, the reality is that only guys with extra money can afford these workshops. So they think they can buy happiness, respect, admiration, love, and sex. What they don't realize that all of those can be achieved the old fashion way, being that social connector, being that guy who is great with everyone, and life is so much easier when we don't have to support these leeches on society by becoming victims of self-hype gurus.

Free Levi and Sarah

Many in the community think that the only way to get laid is to go through bootcamps and practice a thousand sets. If they just look around, they would see how rampant sex is, even among those ring-wing religious zealots in America! Many are not surprised at all that Jamie Lynn Spears got knocked up, but Bristol Palin... the daughter of the governor of Alaska?! The real tragedy, however, is the poor Levi who inseminated her. If you have missed this, please go join this campaign!

Then this past weekend, that cringe-inducing, face-covering, I-am-embarrassed-for-her Sarah Palin interview by Katie Couric.

Once again, I find myself agreeing with some conservatives, we need to free Palin. We need to send her back to the wilderness of Alaska and let her go kill more moose! To pull her from the backwater of America and shove her onto the world stage, haven't we done enough to the world after years of Dubya?!

Someone said it best, Dubya spent the first 4 years destroying America and the second 4 years destroying the world. I think we have done enough, not just to the world and America, but we must stop torturing that poor Palin. She epitomizes what's wrong with the current administration, the stupidity & bravado of Dubya, along with the secrecy & treachery of Cheney.

What about McCain? I don't consider him a war hero, plenty of people went to war and got captured. Countless prisoners of war have been tortured. He didn't do more or less than any American P.O.W. in Vietnam. To hold him up as a hero while neglecting the rest is simply disrespectful to everyone who served this country. If that isn't enough, this is the same guy who returned to his faithful wife, then proceeded to commit adultery and claimed that his experience as a P.O.W. caused him to do that. Normally, I don't care if who people have sex with, but in his case and those self-proclaimed moralists, I hold them to the same standards that they forced on others. And his current wife was one of many women he had sex with during his adulterous period while he was still married to his first wife. Don't get me started on how many U.S. Navy planes he crashed.

Why is McCain important, because this senile old man and advisers he has inherited from Dubya are holding these two individuals prisoners. They plucked two poor souls out of their natural environments and are forcing them to do unspeakable acts. The poor kid, Levi, just had sex with a girl and now he has to marry her. The former runner-up beauty queen was happily lording over her little domain and now she has to face national scrutiny.

Please join me in calling your local Republican office, tell them to free Levi & Sarah, send them back to Alaska!

McCain and Obama debate drinking game!

Stock up on booze, invite your friends over, if the idea of watching two egomaniacs debate turns them off, sell your friends on the idea of boozing! People exist to repeat past behaviors and they don't usually step outside of their habits. So there will be plenty of repetitions of their buzzwords and talking points.

• Every time Obama or McCain says: change; drink!
• Obama says: hope; drink!
• McCain says: my friends; drink!
• McCain or Obama says: god, faith; drink!
• Obama says: Yes we can; finish your drink!
• McCain says: I was a POW; finish your drink!

You are free to add more to the list. Seriously, invite your friends over for a great Friday night party! Girls love to dress up (or down)... make it a costume party, they can come in a slutty or white trashy Sarah Palin using their new names. Guys can dress up if they want, now if you make it optional and whoever dresses up is queer!

Setting up a budget that works!

So you've done the following:

1. Monitor your income and expense for about 3-6 months
2. You have a set of goals for savings and investing
3. You are pretty good spending less than what you've earned

The next step is to set up a budget. List the major sources of income and expense for an entire year, pre-tax, tax, and post-tax. Be sure to include items that occur every quarter, 6 months, annually or bi-annually,... Then using data that you've collected in the previous 3-6 months, you can guess at how much you earn and spend on a monthly basis in several major categories.

The idea behind a budget is to group expenses together into categories so that you can monitor the flow of money through each category. I like to group my necessities into categories: mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, car/transportation, tax, and insurance premiums.

The major problem that I've encountered is that I don't like getting hit with a big bill every 6 months, 1 year, or 2 years, for insurance premiums, maintenance fees, excise fees, and/or taxes. My solution is to create a savings account that I deposit money into on a monthly basis, because that's how I've divided up my annual budget into 12 monthly budgets. By setting my own escrow funds for paying periodic bills, I have accomplished two things: 1. my monthly budget is stable so I don't have periodic spikes, and the most best motivation of all, 2. I earn a high-yield interest by depositing it into an online savings account. Email me if you want recommendations.

Now that you have allocated money to spend in each category, be sure to reserve some extra funds to the following: 1. emergency fund (savings only to cover expenses for at least 6 months), 2. retirement fund (for savings and investing), and most important of all, 3. fun fund. The last one is an up-to-date tracking of my projected difference between incomes and expenses after I have allocated funds for both (1) and (2). Then I know how much I can spend for the rest of the month!

The reason this is important is that for many people, they can simplify this by carrying that much cash with them. But with credit cards and ATM's so readily available, we have a tendency to spend more by just swiping our cards to pay for impulse purchases. If I know how much I can spend collectively using all those payment methods, I can restrain myself if I were about to make an impulse purchase.

Furthermore, any left over from the previous month, I can save them up for trips, vacations or major purchases in a high-yield online savings account. I may go into how I subdivide that account in future posts. After all, the reason for budget is to divide up how we allocate our money so that we can achieve our financial goals.

How to be fun

The first sign of fun, even though we shouldn't look for it, is that everyone just don't give a shit. We don't care what others outside of our immediate circle think, as long as we are in on the joke and we are amusing ourselves. There are many community terms for this, being in state, being unstifled, and I think they are all gay. Normal people call it be yourself, having fun, or just plain, don't give a shit.

The second step of having fun is to be able to not just to keep up with jokes but to exaggerate, build on or go over the top of ongoing jokes. Take how Sarah Palin and her genius ideas of naming her kids. No one every thought of it, but she named them by their place of conception, by the Track and at Bristol Bay. Now that we discovered her home town is the meth capital of Alaska, her grandkid will naturally be called, Tweeker. If that's not enough, go get your own at the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator!

And I'm Mounty Bat Palin, MBP, bitches! So if you want to start a conversation with any random stranger, go with your new Sarah Palin-inspired name. It doesn't matter what we say, the idea is to take people you interact with on this journey with you. The art of charisma, charm, whatever else that the latest marketing gurus decide to use isn't about some schematic of how to talk to girls. This leads me to the third important point, you must have something else going on with your life. This blog is an outgrowth of what's happening in my life.

In fact, I often joke with friends and strangers that I'm going to blog about whatever we are talking about. So initial conversations with people don't have to be a serious exchange of information. They can be about silly topics and that's how people gauge how compatible they are with each other. Laughter is a positive emotion, there are others that we can evoke as the interaction progresses. You can buy books that go on and on about letting go, being in the moment, knowing yourself,... Even I have blogged about them. It all comes down to just don't give a shit. Those who care too much about what others think are the same people with approach anxiety, fear of rejection, constant need to feel validated, being alpha, being the best, and all those community-induced psychosociopathologies.

Learn how to pickup from American politicians

I'm sure you've heard the phrase: "Politics is the popularity contest for ugly people." And popularity contests go, they are about hustling people, by convincing the public that you are the one they should pick, not because what you will do, but that you have appealed to their higher ideals! That's what I've learned from watching these two recent political conventions: the trick to hustle the public isn't about what your plan of actions, but first showing that you have something in common with your audience, and that both you and your audience share common ideals, then they should choose you because you are better at helping them to realize their dreams. Of course, you should never ever get into the specifics or even reveal what your plan is.

If you look carefully into any get-rich-quick scheme, self-improvement, self-help, quick fix method, they all talk about what they will show you how to be somebody, get something, achieve your dreams. But before they do that, they backtrack and talk about their journey, where they have been, and because of the method (or a set of techniques) that they will reveal to you, that's how they have achieved their dreams. If these hustlers are even more evil, they will convince you how others are doing it all wrong, which, by implication, tells you that you have failed because you haven't followed their prescription, and only they are your salvation!

Hustlers are very good at cycling back and forth between evoking what you think you want and slowly revealing to you what you need. They never actually give you a plan of actions, or tell you what you must do to realize your dreams. Because you have been conditioned to reject that, from the early days of your parents telling you what to do to your friends who gathered to give you that intervention, hustlers would slowly nudge you along, constantly dangling bits to bait you to buy in some more. Just look at the levels of access you can buy by contributing to a political campaign, or the levels you can attain in martial arts, Scientology,... and even schooling itself, some levels are necessary, but how to live your life, or how to talk & relate to other people, do you really think you need to learn that from someone else?!

And if they truly are good at what they do, why do they need to make money off you. Why don't fortune tellers make money off their own ability to predict the future? Why don't "seducers" have girls making money for them, like prostitutes do for their pimps? Why don't self-help gurus help themselves and become successful... instead of hawking their wares and plying their skills on the unsuspecting public? All because it's easier to make money from people who -- unfortunately, there's no better word for this -- are stupid enough or easily convinced by these hustlers.

Despite what these hustlers tell you, the easiest way to achieve what they have achieved is to be like them. That's why there are so many community guys wanting to be dating coaches, instead of out getting girls. The sad reality is that looks matters, how much money you make matters, what kind of friends you keep matters, who you know matters, and you don't suddenly transform yourself to become a superstar. Thank god for Sarah Palin, she finally changed the phrase: "Politics is NO LONGER the popularity contest for ONLY ugly people!" because she is the living proof a good hustler: she starts out with good looks, ply her trade as a pageant contestant, dabble in and then slowly climb up the political ladder, convince the public that she's the embodiment of their ideals, but never reveal her sordid past, personal failings and failures. So if you want to get girls, watch and learn from politicians, they are better hustlers than any dating coach.

Don't let others get to you

As much as I hate to admit this, I started this blog because I was frustrated and I was at a vulnerable point in my life that I allowed others to get to me. Now that my perspective has changed, people can have as much power over me as I allow them to have.

This is why I try not to compare myself to others. The main obstacle to success starts with a comparison of oneself against one's peers and enemies. The best way to conduct oneself is to live in accordance to one's identity and principles. Funny how this emerged because this blog began with me making some pretty mean jokes at some social retards within the community. Yes, I still think they deserve those jokes, and I underwent a phase of personal growth afterward.

In fact, I have grown because I don't want to be like them. You know there are mentors who inspire us to be like them and there are people who push us away to be not like them. Thanks to those social misfits in the community, I have an opportunity to discover who I am, why I'm not like them, and why I would never want to be like them. Just being among those who have drunk the Kool-aid, I have discovered the whole new world of marketing intimately. How so many people have succumbed to it, neck-deep within it, and probably will never get out of it. Sure, I can continue to make fun of them, hopefully, that would wake them up, or I can just ignore them and continue on a path that fulfills me and those I care about.

As David D would say, I obviously am more cocky than funny, that's why so many people have missed my jokes. The reality is that it really doesn't matter. As long as I don't allow what they do to influence and affect me, I am my own man. I'm glad I started with very little if any ego at all, so I never felt the need to compare with others, or to be good or better than some social retards at pickup because I know my place in this world, standing on top of social misfits is like standing on top of a garbage heap to claim that I'm King of the World. There are so many more worthwhile causes, more meaningful activities to engage in besides getting girls. When I discover that it's better to be more social than to be a try-hard player and fail, I have been pushing for this idea for so long. Another is to do what is necessary to succeed without being predatory on the less fortunate, sure, some of my jokes have been biting and might even be hurtful, but I have yet to benefit from them financially and socially (no, I'm not that popular among community guys for obvious reasons). So for those who have been looking for the in-her game DVD to come out or to sign up for my bootcamp, keep waiting!

A different perspective on "pickup"

This is what seduction/dating gurus would like us to believe. They either have a huge repertoire of routines to microcalibrate for every conceivable situation -OR- the exact amount of woo & intent that almost all girls (or as TD would say, 99% of all girls will have a great interaction with him) will wet their panties... all because the guy has the right body language, the proper tonality & voice, and the perfect verbal game. Sadly, the reality is quite different.

What usually happen is that these self-hype gurus go around talking to girls, some will be amused, but most girls will end up ignoring these weirdos; on a good night, they might end up with a few numbers, which MANY drunk girls will give out because they want to feel validated. Most of the time, both the guru and the girl are so hammered with their respective beer-goggles end up going home together. Most guys getting into this might not believe this, there are girls go out explicitly to get drunk in order to get laid because these girls are just as desperate. The trick isn't in what to do or say, but in finding the right venue, talking to those girls, and with a low enough standard, you too will go home with them.

Let's step back for a second and think this through, if a girl is successful, decent looking, socially savvy, with supportive friends and family (as in well-adjusted), do you think she would go out to bars to hook up with some random dudes?! There's a slim chance that such a girl exists despite what our intuition would say, but the possibility of meeting that one special girl is almost like winning the lottery; if you are the type who like to gamble by buying lottery tickets, then this is "the game" that you should play.

But if all you want to do is to get laid, it's quite simple: Get drunk, talk to every girl, and you too will get to go home with some nasty drunk bar skanks. There are many guys, including some readers and commenters on here, who have depression, social phobia or anxiety, and perhaps, personality disorders so they have difficulty in talking with girls. There are many state certified, accredited organization, qualified professionals who can help and they have a history of helping people to overcome these problems in order to function within their respective society.

For me to recommend people above to overcome their serious problems by learning to do pickup from these dating gurus is almost as irresponsible as if I were to tell a short chubby teenager to become a professional basketball player. I'm sure he can learn a few moves, and might even be quite good at playing basketball at the local YMCA against other short chubby kids, but to push him to become a professional basketball player is just plain delusional. This is what I've been getting at with this blog. I'm not saying that don't learn the techniques and methods that are available. I would be very hesitant to advise anyone to spend thousands if not more on taking bootcamp one after another, subscribe to countless products, and go on every forum in order to become a master Pick-up Artist.

In fact, I've met that VH1 master PUA, he was just standing around biting his nails, analyzing social interactions with his fellow PUAs, and you'd think being a D-list celebrity, he would get some actions because a female audience might recognize him. On the contrary, he left with the same guys who came in with him. If you still think that these self-hype gurus are real, go check out Barry Kirkey's "radioshow" to hear his perspective, as a former "executive coach" (who left) RSD, a character in that "bible," and supposedly got many girls.

Joining the community is not some amazing journey to become a Jedi knight, go read some materials so you know what to and what not to do when interacting with people. Then grow some balls, and start talking with people, guys and girls. The hard work isn't in learning the materials and demonstrate one's prowess by being a keyboard jockey on seduction boards, but rather in going out and be more social with everyone. In spite of what is described in books and reports, it's not that difficult to take a random drunk bar skank home, all you have to do is to lower your standard enough because no girls with choice (i.e. that others would want too) would go home with some random dude that she just met, no matter how cool he is. So the fabled PUA described in reports doesn't exist, it's what hustlers want you to believe so that they can market more materials and workshops to you.

Fans of RSD and TD would love

Another great podcast (sorry, "radio show") from Barry Kirkey! I try to keep up even with my busy schedule and this is another one where he and an ex-coworker at RSD (yes, that cult of Real Social Dynamics) are sharing more info on what used to be the Project Hollywood that infamous book raves about.

These guys have real stories behind the scene of what went on. This whole pickup community is a scheme manufactured by a few guys to rip off the unsuspecting fools. Day in and day out, I still see community guys out and about, they are still doing the same PUA circuits of hopping from one bar to another, and I doubt that they are happy when all they do is constantly out seeking validations from strangers. For those "dating/seduction" coaches, they have the additional pressure of getting validations from their students.

There's a sliver of hope though when I see some guys who have completely abandoned the scene and just be who they used to be... after they have squandered money, wasted time, and of course, lost their old friends; all this in the pursuit of some trivial validation from drunk girls. Rather than trying to game people and fail, they would be better off just going out to meet people, make friends, and develop a social circle. The community has never existed, it's only an illusion that the marketing people came up. There are techniques and tactics that can be learned, just like anything else, but don't be misled to think that you can develop long term friendship with PUAs, because they want you to provide them with girls, money, and/or sexual favors.

Redirecting focus to something meaningful

Every so often, I get an email from some random guy that lists a tally of how many kiss closes, # closes, ! closes, whatever. This boils down his entire existence down to a number, like a FICO score on his PUA skills, this explains why so many guys failed.

Have you ever gotten MANY numbers from different girls and when you call them, nothing ever materialized?! Mystery would diagnose this as not having the proper time bridge, which is true. What he means is that you didn't set up when you will meet up and what you will do. "Let's hang out" usually means that she will enter you into a lottery drawing and the chance of you ever "hanging out" is slim to none, almost the same probability as you winning the lottery.

Instead of focusing on tallying how many numbers you get, how many girls you've been with, etc., a better way to look at this is from a broader perspective. Are you someone who can get along with people in general? Do you have any difficulty in connecting with people, as in they want to include you into their life? From what little experience I have, this boils down to neediness.

This is a HUGE issue with guys who don't have an existing group of friends and they go into lair and seduction forums to find "wings." They first start their whole journey by wanting sex from girls. When girls sense that you want something from them, they will be turned off immediately and be creeped out. Sure, some of these guys will occasionally score or get lucky, even the blind squirrel will find a nut, and if you are in the community, you are already surrounded by nuts.

I found that as soon as I found something I like to do, something I have a great time doing, whether alone or with friends, there is something I can talk about and share with people. Then I naturally have endless number of conversation topics, so I don't need to "plow." Another is that I can include others into my life. Most people live VERY boring lives, they get up, work, go home, and sleep. If you can get them into doing other activities, they will join up. Most community guys end up just sarging from bar to bar, I call them doing the PUA circuits and they usually end up where they start, with nothing and no new friends.

That's why I always push people to go out to make friends with strangers before trying to game girls. There are no obstacles to disarm, bitchshields to blow apart, and targets waiting to be opened. Friends will naturally exchange info and get together to do other activities, not time-bridging for "dates" and "day2s." If you can get to a point when you can talk about anything with stranger, then you won't have a problem setting up another time to meet to do something together. That, my friends, is a date, day2, timebridge, etc. so you don't need any tricks to get her numbers. Even better, if you can make someone feel that you understand her more than anyone else, and yet you can still tease and have fun with her, enough to build that sexual tension, then you will have no problem with having sex.

Instead of thinking of this as number of sets opened, number of kiss closes, number of number closes, and number of full closes, stop thinking in terms of those sociopathic terms but think of how normal socially well-adjusted people relate to each other, then your interaction with others will also be socially acceptable and naturally have more success with turning strangers into friends. Quit thinking like a weirdo, quit acting like a weirdo, quit being among other weirdos, BUT join, take part, and be with normal humanity.

Self-help gurus: the modern day faeries

I pilfered this from a facebook post that a friend made. The article talks about why we still have crazy beliefs, as in gods, witches, faeries, supernatural powers, and other paranormal phenomena. For the charlatans and hustlers, they promote these for personal financial gains. What about for the rest of us? Why do we still have these beliefs?

This story reminds me of another recent article about how optical illusions work and because our brains predict the future in order to compensate for the delay in the arrival of immediate visual information. I wonder if a similar explanation on how we fill in gaps within our knowledge by appealing to something magical. This might also explain why many people like to interpret their dreams. The consensus among cognitive scientists and biologists is that dreaming is important in solidifying memories and for our survival; but there is no good explanation for why and what we dream about, and even the basics of how we dream!

I think the price for having the neocortex to facilitate higher order cognitive functions, one defect is our constant need to fill in gaps within our knowledge base. If we don't get enough information or at the speed required for survival, our brain naturally projects ahead and fills in gaps in order for the world to make sense. What we fill in the gap is often ruled by emotions with deeper psychological origins.

As alluded to by a commenter here, in a society where we have turned not only material goods, but our hopes and dreams, ideas, and even our very own happiness into a commodity, we think we can buy and sell them at a price. Not only have we relinquished our reasoning ability, but we are becoming dependent on others to satisfy our own needs. Back in the early days of the industrial revolution, the cure for depression (and unhappiness) was "industry," as in working harder. With the advent of computers, especially with many IT guys sitting around surfing the net all day without the pressure to produce or physical demands, we have more time to indulge in silly hobbies and preoccupy our minds with ideas bombarded into us by marketeers. I thought this might be a uniquely American phenomenon, but I think with more people sitting around instead of doing physical labor, we have become physically, intellectually, and socially lazy.

We now buy into the whole self-hype movement. What I have noticed recently, and I'm not sure if this is unique to the seduction community, have you noticed how many Jews are in the pickup business? Now, before anyone accused me of being Hitler for outting those gays and incarcerate them into concentration camps, just count how many of them are among the top self-hype gurus: Style, RJ, David D, Thunderfag, Swingcat, Sinn, David X, (half-breed) Savoy,... I don't think that there's any Illuminati-type conspiracy going on, but it is interesting to note that such a disproportionately high number of one ethnic group within a particular community. They become such experts at selling dreams and fantasies to guys. What's your explanation for these faeries?

What is important to you? And how much would you pay for it?

From numerous discussions that I had with MBA and economists, the central concept of what they do is to compare the opportunity costs between taking action A vs. B. In other words, what are the relative and comparable values between two actions, items, etc.?

This got me thinking about this whole self-improvement and what these self-hype gurus are trying to promote. What service are they providing? Is the service worthwhile? If you were not spending your money in this, where would you spend your money? And this reminds me of a documentary of male prostitutes / entertainment workers in Japan, "The Great Happiness Space," which I have posted here before.

In many ways, these seduction gurus are not very far from being male prostitutes. They are like surrogates for sex for many sex-starved/deprived men. For many guys, I can sort of see how desperate they are for companionship and of physical nature, sexual contacts. Rather than pursuing the stigmatized action of going for prostitutes, they go learn how to get girls, or pickup. Of course, that doesn't sound very pleasant, they call this action something pleasant, like self-improvement, and we all know how important that we must improve ourselves, because after all, we always are students and we can always improve!

So in come these guys, they will teach guys how to get laid, why sell you fish when they can teach you how to fish?! I.e. why would they hand you girls like a pimp would, something we all frown on, when they can teach you to be better men so that you can get girls. When you examine this phenomenon further, at the very basic biological and physical levels, we need women for sexual gratifications. So these guys, in effect, are providing a sexual service to other guys. Instead of pimping out girls to guys, they are selling themselves to other guys, which means these "dating coaches" are really surrogates for prostitutes! which makes them, in effect, male prostitutes.

Jokes aside, do these guys really provide any added-value? Like a chef would when s/he cook what farmers and butchers provide? If you were to pay for prostitutes, do you get more than just sex? Do these guys truly teach you how to be better men, rather than just getting girls?! They would like to convince us that they are... If that's the case, I'm all about applying what I talk about to myself. By that, I mean why don't psychics apply their abilities to improving their conditions? If they are truly such high value men, you know, billionaire guys like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, why do they have to stoop so low to provide such service to other guys?

My proposal is that these self-hype gurus don't really provide any value. This is the best that they can do (applying the Peter Principle here) and if they were not doing this, they would be out whoring themselves in other ways. So before you think about spending money on these guys, ask yourself, if you are in this for girls, perhaps you should just pay girls for their services... rather than through intermediaries such as these self-hype gurus; unless, of course, that you really want guys!

Keep it simple

There are many difficult tasks in life, but for the most part, life is very simple, and especially social situations, they are the simplest. From what I've observed, the more someone tries to break them down, the more they will be drown in that neverland, somewhere between over-interpreting and completely missing the point.

Yes, you know it's coming. Picking up girls, it's not difficult, and if people play it like it really is, a numbers game, almost like lottery except you will score more and more often, then they would not need all those gay forums that Barry Kirkey has been talking about.

Being a blogger, I keep up with quite a few blogs and this trend is emerging. People don't make money by simplifying how things are, but they over-analyze and come up with complex algorithms. Take getting rich, it's a very simple formula, take what you earn and subtract out what you spend. So you can get rich by making a lot more than what you are earning now, or spend less that what you are spending now. Or increase your earning significantly more than the increase in your spending.

Take getting girls, yes, I do hate the idea of "getting" anything from anyone, especially girls. It's all about meeting people, the more people you meet, the more likely you will develop social skills and you will have a higher likelihood of meeting someone or girls. And in order to meet people, you have to be where people are. Meet more people, have more friends, in turn, have more people in your life, and naturally, you will have more girls. No need to take countless workshops, buy more products, and learn more techniques.

You know how to get promoted or get a pay raise, do what people at those positions or that pay-grade are doing, then naturally, you will get it. If not, find a job that will compensate you at the rate you think you deserve.

Another interest that people have but rarely work on is losing weight. It's very simple, consume less calories than what you expend, you will lose weight. Until someone can prove that we can absorb calories by other means than through our GI tract (yes, there are non-enteral ways for caloric intakes, but most people don't have the means for getting that), almost all of us get our calories through our mouths and we expend energy by moving around. If we use more energy to move around than what we consumed through our mouths, we will lose weight. No need for all those silly diet plans.

But in order to have a blog that constantly churn out more information, more howto's, more reasons for you to come back to read more, they will constantly pump out more seemingly important info, and make simple steps into something more complicated than what it should be.

Being a normal well-adjusted person is being in tune what one's needs and desires. Being able to express and convey oneself to others. Having a support system that both nurtures and challenges us to be a better person. Yes, it really is that simple.

Go check this out... today!

Their discussion and opinions about lairs fit my experience perfectly! Because of Barry Kirkey, I haven't felt the need to bitch and complain why guys should avoid the community. No, I have absolutely no commercial interest with him, and to be quite honest, I have lost whatever respect I had for Sinn awhile back when he went commercial and started tacitly endorsing certain guys, probably because they paid him. Seriously, if he has any other skills and can hold down a real job, he wouldn't be hanging out with social retards for a living!

There are some very good theories, tactics, techniques, and even methods in the community. But they can be learned, internalized, and practiced without any association with lair or community guys. You can find them on many file sharing sites and some "gurus" even give them away for free! There's no need to involve yourself with community lair guys because learning seduction materials is like masturbating. We all benefit from it (don't believe me? google for "prostate cancer masturbation frequency," we all should do it in private, not something you brag about to your friends, but once you start doing it together with other guys, you are gay!

If you miss this podcast, I'm sure he will republish it this weekend and like most community materials, you'll find it on many file sharing sites.

Now, I'm going back to work and I'll blog about some other recent insights I have later.

Being in the moment

If you have not watched Cesar Milan's The Dog Whisperer, you really have to go check it out. It's on the National Geographic TV channel. Just watch how he doesn't bring in many preconceived notions when he meets up with a new dog and then how he dominates, controls, and leads that dog! Sometimes, he even brings in other dogs in his pack to help him exert that pack mentality. Now you see the parallel of why having friends going out with you is a good thing, especially girls to help you pull more girls into your folds.

That's why they call some girls bitches, because in many ways, they are animals first, females second, and humans third. I kid, about the female dog part! But people are surprisingly whimsical and we can take advantage of them being in the moment, and if you want to take girls home, this is the best way of exploiting that. This is analogous to what magicians use; they draw in the attention of everyone around them, misdirect them to some fun shiny bright objects, and consequently, sex just happens.

That's why we have to be immersed into the moment. We don't think about what happened last time, or the same girl might have rejected you, or how other lair guys think you are the pimp in the forum. Focus your attention on the here and now. Enjoy yourself, being among your friends, and share those good warm and fuzzy feelings with others. You don't have to think very far in advance, and definitely don't verbalize your thoughts on what you will do to her. Girls will inevitably say "that's just gross" or with other verbal objections. But once you start doing the "nasty," anything goes because girls, being animals first, female second, and humans third, they too will allow almost anything to happen as long as you don't break the rhythm or disrupt the vibe.

Even if you really want to baptize her by covering her face with your man juice, you better not tell her that, but just do it and you will realize girls will go along with practically anything as long as you do it without hesitation but with confidence, authority, and most important of all, discretion. I often joked about how guys should just pay for sex, I'm willing to bet that it's not that great with a hooker and those guys have to because they don't have a sense of fun and playfulness. In some days, this is about what goes on inside, how we all have to learn to discard our inhibition and start living in the moment. For sex to happen on the same night, we have to draw out their disinhibition and replace it with adventure. That's what people sum up as "being in the moment."

If you still don't have a visceral sense of what it is, go watch Cesar Milan in how he draws that out of dogs in order to "rehabilitate" them. Change yourself, let loose, relax, chill, and go rehab some girls!

"He's safe."

Quite often, guys act too cool to be in a bar, and they end up drinking alone and scurry home among their "pickup artist sarging wingmen." Another example of what-not-to-be is the guy that seems a bit too eager and wanting a bit much of something from people, you know the type, he thinks he's a player when he is really creeping girls out. The trick with being a person with options with girls is to be a good fisherman.

Unlike those professional pickup artists, who pride themselves at pulling drunk girls home and then come online to boast about their technical pickup skills, I've been advocating the opposite, be the social guy with friends, who goes out with his buddies instead of his fellow lair sargers. With many friends and many social circles, this is similar to a fisherman casting multiple lines, just jiggle a few lines now and then, sit back, relax, and wait for girls to chase you!

Unlike guys who pride themselves for being players, when they really are pussies with no balls, you have to be discrete. Girls are always craving for excitement. By switching the mentality of wanting something from girls, be the guy that fulfills that yearning in them, bring them into your folds in a manner that make them feel like they are part of something greater than themselves.

This is what I mean by being that "safe" guy that girls talk about, what they have subcommunicated is that you understand and can fulfill their needs without broadcasting to the whole wide world. The very act of writing up reports about hook ups with girls is an obvious sign of chest pounding to show the world someone has succumbed to the power of the pussy. Sure, if those reports were true, they would have been educational for guys to learn about girls, but like many things in life, we can only talk in generality and it takes experience to flesh out the details. Go live the life you want rather than trying to imitate a fraud. Go discover what works for you instead of trying to fulfill the fantasy of an author. What you read is often shaped by marketing and driven by advertising. Be your own man.

Are girls on online dating websites weird?

By weird, I mean they are a bit socially inept and perhaps, delusional in the type of guys they can get. Funny how I meet some of these girls when I'm out and about. Then a few days or weeks later, guy friends show me who they have been talking to online (yes, I do have socially awkward friends who find girls through online dating websites), and sure enough, those exact girls are on those sites!

I have heard that people have met strippers and even porn actresses from online dating websites, but from my personal experience, I have yet to meet any hot girl offline who is also on online dating websites. I know girls who go on those online dating websites are extremely picky considering their looks and/or personalities. Of course, these girls (in their offline-life) would have a whole bunch of guys giving them unwarranted attention but none of them are man enough to take these girls home.

Then I started wondering why some of these girls go online. Let's face it, the majority of them are fat. I don't mean a little bit chunky, some are morbidly obese, and a few realize that so they resort to Craig's List (I think he needs to pay me as an affiliate for all my referrals!). The rest, some girls I know from offline seem to be decent in looks but their personalities, they seem a bit off. If I can find one group of guys who are similar to these girls, lair guys would be comparable.

I think these two groups are similar because most lair guys and girls on online dating websites tend to be people who have difficulties socializing with others in offline situations. So the last frontier for social acceptance for these people would be to go online to increase their exposure to other people. If you are familiar with the American history, you've probably read about settlers heading out West and some even to Alaska. These people are of a different breed than those who continued and made something of themselves in old cities like Boston, NYC, Chicago,... Of course, within this group of people, you find guys like the Unabomber in Montana, and their offsprings like Ted Bundy. I'll have to research how many serial killers are from the West vs. East coast.

Now, I'm not equating lair guys and girls on online dating sites as potential serial killers and sociopaths. I am suggesting that they are deviants from the social norm. Not that being abnormal is bad, many geniuses are abnormal, e.g. Albert Einstein was one smart cookie but then he also married his first cousin. So please feel free to send in your personal experiences if you have found some interesting and physically attractive mates from online.

Skeptical or just cynical?!

How truthful are endorsements by well-known people? We sort of take them for granted, this is what they do using their status as celebrities. I'm almost at the point when those endorsements become white noise and hopefully, they don't influence me much.

Perhaps, this is a guy's thing, we generally don't worship public figures and if they are hot, we might want to bone them. Hey, I'm a dog that way! What if people that you thought might have skills start endorsing products that you know for sure are scams? Do you lose respect for that person or do you become totally dismissive of the whole scene, i.e. everyone in it?

The reason I brought it up is that I noticed, at an increasing rate, that "gurus" in the pickup scene constantly talk up about each other. You know, like Mystery said, "accomplishment intros." Say I know A, but I don't know B, when A does an accomplishment intros of B, I presume what A said about B is true, and therefore, B's value has been raised. What if I don't know A and B? Should I automatically suspect both A & B? Worst, what if I know A and B, and what A said about B isn't true?!

This is not something I'm proud to admit, but I have listened to nearly 4 full hours of 26/Extramask/Barry's podcasts. He is confirming what I suspected is true and what I tried to expose on this blog. That most reports are exaggerated at best, and at worst, they are complete fabrications. So we ignore most reports, what about guys who supposedly are good, and they have started endorsing nobodies? Are we supposed to take their words? Perhaps I'm just jaded and cynical, I suspect most of this self-hype industry isn't just hyping oneself, but also about hyping each other, and rising sea raise all boats mentality.

By repetitively drumming up and hyping each other, these self-hype guys are creating a feeding frenzy. It's almost like all the clubs on one strip decide to make people wait in line to get in, even though it's empty inside. They, in effect, create this false presumption that the whole strip is really happening. But the reality is that they are no different that places don't hype themselves.

After all that, if you want to exchange link with my blog, send me the best description of yourself, we'll work something out! LOL!

For whom are we doing this?

As the seduction community becoming more mainstream, there will be more people diving head first, like I did, into it without logically examining our own intentions. Rather than asking the deep question of why we are doing this, a simpler question is to direct at ourselves, we are doing this for whom?

Sex drive varies between people and from my experience, those with high sex drive generally are quite good with women already and people in general. In fact, this usually translates into success in other areas of life, career, financially well off, and almost always in leadership positions. If you don't know of any, just pick any prominent politician, from historical figures, such as Thomas Jefferson to John F. Kennedy. I'm quite sure that I am NOT the first person to point this out; that sexual prowess leads to success in both social and sexual arenas of our lives.

Now, let's get back to guys who are learning to do pickup because they saw the TV show or read some books, or even e-books. If these guys already have a high sex drive, they would be out banging broads instead of staying at home to read, watch, memorize routines, and go on forums to game each other. Most guys learning pickup are usually your typical geeky programmers; they are so used to manipulating their silicone-based virtual worlds, they think that they can control people using the same concept of subroutines, functions, and programs. What they don't realize that their very being in the programming field has already separated them from the mainstream social world.

I'm picking on programmers because they belong to one model that's representative of people who have not been in the past, are not now, and probably will never be leading men and nailing women in the future. Instead of learning "the game" and go out regularly to practice, these guys would better off fixing other aspects of their lives. Sure, some with sociopathic tendencies will become quite adept in "fake it" until they make it. For the rest, they will continue to flounder because it's simply not in their nature to manipulate people despite how much they want to.

Because of this personal experience, the first thing I do now when confronted with any self-help improvement is to ask myself, am I doing this for myself? I notice many guys get into this so they can brag to other people, sure, they post reports so they can get feedback. If that's truly the case, they would have been more truthful in their reports and be more comprehensive, i.e. they would include their failures as well as their successes. That's why I often joked how guys are spending more time online trying to convince, or for a lack of a better term, seduce other guys rather than going out to get girls.

Going back to picking on programmers, they are so used to and perhaps been very successful at manipulating their virtual worlds, they become experts in online forums, where people exist as avatars instead of real life human beings with multiple roles, facets, flaws and positive attributes. In other words, they are not embarking on this self-help journey to help themselves, but rather, to improve their virtual standing among other social retards. Of course, what they don't realize is that they become the perfect prey population for people in sales (i.e. with more expertise in manipulation). Some of these preys in turn predate on an even more naive population of guys. This turns into an ecosystem of guys predating on other guys.

If they had their focus on improving themselves (i.e. helping oneself), to truly becoming more social, they would have directed their energy within, work on what they lack rather than trying to be better than another retard in an online / virtual world. I'm not, however, suggesting that guys should abandon their current lives so they can be good with women. Rather than diving deep into this without fore thoughts, they should examine their own motivations, is this something they want, for whom are they doing this, and what do they want to get out of this. Even if they are doing this just to get girls, then why haven't they been doing this all along? Have they been bought into what some marketeers tell them what they need to do?!

Dating bootcamp: creepy or necessary?

This subject comes up on this blog quite often and many people have asked me. What do I think of bootcamps? I have known many people who have taken bootcamps and I have known people who have done without. In case this might bias my view, I am going to reveal it, just so people are aware of this and can take this into account when they read my opinion on this. Of all the people I know who have taken bootcamps, over 50% of people have requested full refund from their bootcamps / workshops. Granted, I don't know what is the rate of refund request in the industry, I have been informed by a guy who teaches bootcamp, he said it's quite high.

With that said, I want to believe that bootcamps can be transformational and can work. The reality is that I have yet to see one case that it does. From one end, one guy in the local community, he's a bit chubby, horrible sense of fashion, and very cerebral. According to him, he has taken pretty much all the bootcamps from well-known (Mystery, Juggler, Lance Mason,...) companies out there (probably upward of 10 bootcamps), and to this day, he can barely walk up to anyone on the street to say hi and ask for time! He spends most of his time at home studying up materials because his main complain is that he doesn't have enough materials... which is funny, considering he has taken the Juggler bootcamp, that emphasizes on being natural, be-yourself type of approach.

Outside of the community, I don't think he has that many personal friends that he socializes with. For him, a better remedy would be to go out and do stuff, social activities, mingle with people, develop friendships, or perhaps, he's a schizoid and this seduction community is a purely an academic exercise for him.

The second case is a guy who I have discussed many times before. A self-admitted match.com-addict; he has taken out his life savings to take, by his public admission, 4 bootcamps, all from well known companies and individuals. Sadly, he is where he has always been, girls still think he's queer, guys think he's weird, and the only friends he has are from the community. Unlike the first guy, the match-addict really tries hard to be with people but he is impeded by his insidious desires to get stuff from people, whether to get social/emotional/sexual favor from guys and perhaps, sexual favors from girls, people can sense that creepiness in him and thus, they eventually distant themselves from him.

What's the common theme among these two extreme cases? They don't have friends, they don't know how to socialize with people, and their problem is not that they don't how to game girls, they simply don't know how to be among people. With these extreme cases, bootcamps should gear toward helping guys just be normal and social, rather than turning them into gamers. Another factor is their age, guys who improve the most tend to be younger, as in under 30, and preferably, 25. In fact, most "naturals" become good with women in their teenage years, not just from that infamous book, but from my personal experiences. After a certain age, people are set in their ways. Like language, there's a window when people can acquire social skills and after that age-dependent window closes, they can spend the life savings, quit their jobs, get fired, and even move to away (like that match-addict), they will still be those creepy guys that people avoid.

There are cases where some guys improved, the main differentiating factor is that their age. Of course, with younger age, comes hubris; some of these guys improve slightly, and they think they are total gamers. I'm sure they get girls now and then, you know the guys would have sex with but would never reveal to their friends, the ugly and fat ones. Afterward, they think they can become instructors. And there are dicks like me, who take pleasure in blowing wide open on their insecurities.

My final analysis is that bootcamps may be helpful, only to guys at younger age, and although I have yet to see one case where someone went from a chump to a hustler, I still have hopes, just like I hope to cross path with a unicorn, the flying spaghetti monster,... one day. What is the solution? That's what I've been blogging about, people should learn to socialize, have friends, maintain friendships, and participate in something greater than themselves, i.e. contribute to a group, their respective society, and a cause. Most important of all, they should engage in activities that is fulfilling themselves and get rid of their desires to get anything from anyone, be that sex or friendship. Unlike most sociopaths, most people don't hide their intentions very well. Be fun, be normal, be social, and be giving. That's what being a man is all about.