Groundhog day

I feel weird coming back here to blog about my recent experience of running into a community guy. As much as I like to make fun of guys in the community, I feel sorry for them, for doing the same shit, day-in and day-out, for years and not waking up from the nightmare they call life.

In retrospect, my experience of spending time with other community guys was a learning process, of discovering myself, who I am, what I can do, and ultimately, a lesson of what not to be. My recent run-in with this guy, who has been in the community for nearly 10 years, confirms to me of why this blog existed, to steer people away from the community. This person has spent tens of thousands, living in an apartment, made no progress of becoming a better person, for nearly a decade, he still wanted me to go "sarge" with him.

This was foreshadowed in how I saw him, with another community dude, dressed over the top, standing at the edge of a party, talking as though they are two gay dudes trying to figure out a place where they can go suck off each other. Instead they hovered for nearly 30 minutes without making progress of befriending people around them, and from my conversation with this community dude, the other guy turned out to be his instructor, with this attitude. Sure, I didn't dressed as sharp as this guy, but I was among friends, having a good time, and surrounded by girls. Whereas this instructor, with no one else around, was giving me attitude. Seriously, when will these social retards wake up to discover, they are not the clever guys out to get girls, they are the outcasts from the social life of society?!

The statement that sent me laughing and posting here again was the student's statement to me: "Hey dude, let's hang out..." which I hesitantly responded "Sure, what do you want to do?" Yes, you guessed it, he replied without blinking, "Let's go sarge!" Uh, sure man, let's go hang around with a bunch of socially awkward retarded dicks, talk about game, when we have absolutely no girls around and if I were to bring them any girl, they would hound the girl like crazy and creep her out. To them, every night is the same old thing, going out, creeping girls out, pissing other people off, in the mean time, these idiots think they are gaming society, and of course, they end up going home as how they came out, alone. Keep it up! Because they would get to suck ea other and screw ea other, as a community of gay brotherhood of sargers.

Unnecessary mental gymnastics

Most of you probably know about Steve Pavlina and his blog. From his writing, I suspected that he is aware of the PUA community and not surprisingly, he started blogging about polyamory and his reasons for his participation. He went on and on and on to justify his interest, the real reasons are rather simple.

Let's be honest about our interest in having sex. There's really no need at all to justify our desire for sex, it is genetically programmed into us. And if someone has the opportunities to have as many sex partners as possible, and for many web-celebrities, bloggers included, why not? Why go through the whole Cirque du Soleil mental contortions of logic to present his case?! His desires don't require a rocket scientist or a neurosurgeon to explain. A 13-year-old boy can express them. What is interesting is that a 13-year-old boy probably doesn't realize that with money, Pavlina has acquired the power in his current marriage to exercise his desires. Imagine if he was a wannabe-PUA living with his current wife and 2 kids without his current 6-figure income, do you think she would let him to fulfill his desires?! That's how many celebrities (including but not limited to Hugh Hefner) have been doing for years. With fame and fortune, sex is readily available.

Another more sinister reason is that he is trying to generate traffic to his blog. Like all blogs, experiments and problems generate drama, that emotional discordance causes people to engage in more discussions which naturally will draw in more participants. I remember when I first started this blog, just the fact that I blogged about tidbits on how lame the real seduction community really is was enough to draw in readership. So with this new year, I will continue to blog, with a keener and more skeptical view on what goes on in the world, not just the blogosphere and the community.

The best way to get girls is have fame and fortune, short of that, most guys will end up with other losers and try to seduce each others. With that in mind, I will start blogging about other subjects that I have been pursuing.

Free Levi and Sarah

Many in the community think that the only way to get laid is to go through bootcamps and practice a thousand sets. If they just look around, they would see how rampant sex is, even among those ring-wing religious zealots in America! Many are not surprised at all that Jamie Lynn Spears got knocked up, but Bristol Palin... the daughter of the governor of Alaska?! The real tragedy, however, is the poor Levi who inseminated her. If you have missed this, please go join this campaign!

Then this past weekend, that cringe-inducing, face-covering, I-am-embarrassed-for-her Sarah Palin interview by Katie Couric.

Once again, I find myself agreeing with some conservatives, we need to free Palin. We need to send her back to the wilderness of Alaska and let her go kill more moose! To pull her from the backwater of America and shove her onto the world stage, haven't we done enough to the world after years of Dubya?!

Someone said it best, Dubya spent the first 4 years destroying America and the second 4 years destroying the world. I think we have done enough, not just to the world and America, but we must stop torturing that poor Palin. She epitomizes what's wrong with the current administration, the stupidity & bravado of Dubya, along with the secrecy & treachery of Cheney.

What about McCain? I don't consider him a war hero, plenty of people went to war and got captured. Countless prisoners of war have been tortured. He didn't do more or less than any American P.O.W. in Vietnam. To hold him up as a hero while neglecting the rest is simply disrespectful to everyone who served this country. If that isn't enough, this is the same guy who returned to his faithful wife, then proceeded to commit adultery and claimed that his experience as a P.O.W. caused him to do that. Normally, I don't care if who people have sex with, but in his case and those self-proclaimed moralists, I hold them to the same standards that they forced on others. And his current wife was one of many women he had sex with during his adulterous period while he was still married to his first wife. Don't get me started on how many U.S. Navy planes he crashed.

Why is McCain important, because this senile old man and advisers he has inherited from Dubya are holding these two individuals prisoners. They plucked two poor souls out of their natural environments and are forcing them to do unspeakable acts. The poor kid, Levi, just had sex with a girl and now he has to marry her. The former runner-up beauty queen was happily lording over her little domain and now she has to face national scrutiny.

Please join me in calling your local Republican office, tell them to free Levi & Sarah, send them back to Alaska!

McCain and Obama debate drinking game!

Stock up on booze, invite your friends over, if the idea of watching two egomaniacs debate turns them off, sell your friends on the idea of boozing! People exist to repeat past behaviors and they don't usually step outside of their habits. So there will be plenty of repetitions of their buzzwords and talking points.

• Every time Obama or McCain says: change; drink!
• Obama says: hope; drink!
• McCain says: my friends; drink!
• McCain or Obama says: god, faith; drink!
• Obama says: Yes we can; finish your drink!
• McCain says: I was a POW; finish your drink!

You are free to add more to the list. Seriously, invite your friends over for a great Friday night party! Girls love to dress up (or down)... make it a costume party, they can come in a slutty or white trashy Sarah Palin using their new names. Guys can dress up if they want, now if you make it optional and whoever dresses up is queer!

How to be fun

The first sign of fun, even though we shouldn't look for it, is that everyone just don't give a shit. We don't care what others outside of our immediate circle think, as long as we are in on the joke and we are amusing ourselves. There are many community terms for this, being in state, being unstifled, and I think they are all gay. Normal people call it be yourself, having fun, or just plain, don't give a shit.

The second step of having fun is to be able to not just to keep up with jokes but to exaggerate, build on or go over the top of ongoing jokes. Take how Sarah Palin and her genius ideas of naming her kids. No one every thought of it, but she named them by their place of conception, by the Track and at Bristol Bay. Now that we discovered her home town is the meth capital of Alaska, her grandkid will naturally be called, Tweeker. If that's not enough, go get your own at the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator!

And I'm Mounty Bat Palin, MBP, bitches! So if you want to start a conversation with any random stranger, go with your new Sarah Palin-inspired name. It doesn't matter what we say, the idea is to take people you interact with on this journey with you. The art of charisma, charm, whatever else that the latest marketing gurus decide to use isn't about some schematic of how to talk to girls. This leads me to the third important point, you must have something else going on with your life. This blog is an outgrowth of what's happening in my life.

In fact, I often joke with friends and strangers that I'm going to blog about whatever we are talking about. So initial conversations with people don't have to be a serious exchange of information. They can be about silly topics and that's how people gauge how compatible they are with each other. Laughter is a positive emotion, there are others that we can evoke as the interaction progresses. You can buy books that go on and on about letting go, being in the moment, knowing yourself,... Even I have blogged about them. It all comes down to just don't give a shit. Those who care too much about what others think are the same people with approach anxiety, fear of rejection, constant need to feel validated, being alpha, being the best, and all those community-induced psychosociopathologies.

Why she will win...

Sarah Palin, VP-ILK'08!

Go check this out... today!

Their discussion and opinions about lairs fit my experience perfectly! Because of Barry Kirkey, I haven't felt the need to bitch and complain why guys should avoid the community. No, I have absolutely no commercial interest with him, and to be quite honest, I have lost whatever respect I had for Sinn awhile back when he went commercial and started tacitly endorsing certain guys, probably because they paid him. Seriously, if he has any other skills and can hold down a real job, he wouldn't be hanging out with social retards for a living!

There are some very good theories, tactics, techniques, and even methods in the community. But they can be learned, internalized, and practiced without any association with lair or community guys. You can find them on many file sharing sites and some "gurus" even give them away for free! There's no need to involve yourself with community lair guys because learning seduction materials is like masturbating. We all benefit from it (don't believe me? google for "prostate cancer masturbation frequency," we all should do it in private, not something you brag about to your friends, but once you start doing it together with other guys, you are gay!

If you miss this podcast, I'm sure he will republish it this weekend and like most community materials, you'll find it on many file sharing sites.

Now, I'm going back to work and I'll blog about some other recent insights I have later.

Intelligent design?!

I think this is totally HAWWWT!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Yes, I'm back, bitches!

Friends with benefits

I can't do it better!

This guy has a sense of humor. Good shit, go check him out!

George Carlin: 1937-2008

"This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people and move west so they could steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto of this country oughta be? You give us a color, we'll wipe it out."

— George Carlin, "We Like War"

This video destroyed the fond memory of my childhood.

Is this going to be on your blog?

Three individuals have asked me that exact question in the past three days. Seriously, I don't know why people need to make such a big deal out of our daily interactions. But if I talk about our, ahem, rather intimate interaction on here, nobody else will read it except you... that's right, only you. So feel free to share your deepest and darkest secret with me.

The reality is that nobody cares, not even me, and I blog because I need a place to do my brain dump. That's why I've been so prolific, not because I have some amazing insights, but I just need to go, so stop feeding me that "prune juice" for my brain.

Oh right, sorry I got a bit self-involved there, after all, this blog is all about you and our precious conversation. Didn't I tell you? If I don't blog about our moment together here, I will discuss it in my upcoming memoir. So I dedicate this entry to those who asked me that question... with love.

Ken Lee!

Contrast this:

With this:

Should I be nice to girls?

This question often crosses the mind of guys when they interact with girls. The scenario is so-and-so is pretty hot, I want to ask her out, if I'm nice to her, buy her drinks, then may be we can start chatting, etc. The answer is an unequivocal no. However, if I am a genuinely nice person and I come from a place that I don't need her to make me happy, then being nice to girls is okay... Again, the answer is a conditional yes. What do I mean by that?

Before I elaborate on the details on what to do, let's start with the frame, or the conditions by which we conduct ourselves. Nice guys often have been trampled and used by girls in the past and so in reaction, they tend to become assholish to get back at girls. This reactivity is not congruent with those guys and girls can see through that... and why let girls dictate how we behave?! Instead, the better frame would be that (1) we have choices with girls, (2) we are here to evaluate or we decide whether they are worthy to be with us, (3) they are chasing us and we lead.

With those guidelines in mind, then the answer is that we are nice to girls when we feel they deserve us. This begins with how we initiate our conversation with girls... Unless we have the attitude that we don't care how she might respond to us in the beginning, it's best not to compliment girls first. There are exceptions, however. Say I want to ask her something about fashion, I can start with, "Hey, you seem like you know about fashion..." and look her up & down in a non-creepy way. Now, I just complimented her AND I already subcommunicated to her that I also evaluated her, so I have a reason to talk with her.

Once that we have started talking with girls, we can role play... and to further re-inforce our frame that we are superior, leading, higher, and be the daddy figure that she is looking for, she is almost always subservient. Again, this requires finesse to do successfully... by being fun and playful which she knows on one hand that we are joking and on another, we subtly communicated to her that we are not there to please her but to evaluate her. I even explicitly say that I will give her a job performance review later because she has been working very hard for a promotion. There is a huge difference between evaluating vs. judging her.

This gets back to the common question of whether we can compliment girls, the answer is a conditional yes. We should praise them when we feel they deserve it. There are more subtleties of how this is done. For girls who are hot in the looks department, then focus on her intellect, i.e., some things that most people don't see. Again, it's okay to be a nice guy, not just any Joe Schmoe nice guy. For girls who aren't that good looking, then focus on some positive aspects of their look. This should be avoided in general unless you know what you are doing. The more vague, at least among straight guys, of the compliment, the better... nebulous things like outlook, energy, vibe, sexy... which guys usually don't talk about.

As for doing things just to be nice to girls, again, only when they deserve it. If she has been cool and fun, then it's ok to buy her drinks or even dinner, only if it was just appetizer, and, she has been a good conversationalist. The trick of being a playful evaluator is to be tricky, and be ready to throw her a curve ball now and then. There's more to being a conditional nice guy that I will elaborate on next time. Until next time, follow his advice...

The paradox of self-help

Ever wonder how there is always another breakthrough, another revelation, another brand new method to make us more productive, more self-actualized, more internally driven, more non-reactive, more and more fulfilling inside that we have to get it from outside?!

I was going to play an April's Fool prank on people but I decided to take the day off blogging so that people can reflect on the whole self-help marketing hype. Eckhart Tolle is all the rage now because he talks about being presence, being in the now, looking beyond the immediate reward, etc. To paraphrase what a friend of mine said, it's basically a repackaging of Buddhist philosophy for mass consumption in the West. I was curious of what this guy is about because being just another lemming and many of the "enlightened" seduction gurus were talking about him, so I checked out this guy.

Tolle has some interesting ideas, but they are all rehash of what has been said before, perhaps a modern interpretation of what is talked about in Zen Buddhism. Then I stumbled across him in Oprah. For those who are anti-feminist, I-am-not-a-wussy, I-am-all-about-gaming-chicks 24/7, this Tolle guy has been whoring himself out to Oprah for the past month in their online webcasts! If any seduction guru starts telling guys to watch Oprah, they might as well tell guys to leave the toilet seat down and their balls behind for girls sit on. So I stepped back and wonder how much do people really take in this self-help promotion and whether this has been yet another April's Fool that has been played on the mass consumption public for the past 30-some-odd years.

Let's dissect this a little deeper. At prima facie, this idea of being internally motivated, don't look for outside for validation, I'm all for it. Then people turn around, they are going out to buy more books to learn how to do all that. I'm not sure if there is enlightenment, and I'm the first to admit that I'm just as flawed as the next guy, but after awhile, my tolerance for bullshit is diminishing and I wonder how much more b.s. will the public take. The message is that we should not look to outside for answer, but in this book, this seminar, this workshop, this DVD, this whatever will show you how! Am I the only moron to not get this?! We should look inside for answers but we have to keep spending outside to get them?!

I too suffer from the second set of contradictions. Despite all that I rant and rave here about the self-help movement, I have benefited in terms of being more socially aware. But in terms of being internally driven, I've always been that way and that's how I got to where I am today professionally; i.e. I don't have to resort to hustling people I meet by trying to get them to buy my latest product, my new insight, my workshop / seminar,... The contradiction I see is how people use this "internally motivated" mindset to seek out external validation. Like I wrote earlier, even I suffered from it. Take pickup / seduction, on the one hand, the gurus talk about being improving oneself, but all to get girls. Just the very act of changing oneself in order to get something from someone externally has betrayed the very essence of being internally driven!

I've addressed this previously which bears repeating. Why do we constantly seek out people to show us the way? And is it the only way? Why don't we live as we please, do what we think is correct & proper, hopefully not violating or impinging on the liberty & rights of others, be at peace with who we are, and be at ease with those around us. Why do we need even need gurus? I'm not a devout Buddhist, although I am familiar with some of its philosophical underpinnings, that's basically what Buddha tried to steer people away from, we should not worship some gurus in order to reach enlightenment.

For those who wonder when I started to turn away from the community, when I stopped accepting bullshit as nuggets of gold and seeing them for what they are. So those are some contradictions that I've been wrestling with today. I thought it's quite amusing, people should take a deeper look within themselves and what they are doing. So come back tomorrow for more on how to be internally driven by reading the blog of some dude on the internet!

It is what it is...

Some people have read this and wondered why am I not what I appear to be on here. I know there are quite a few people try to psychoanalyze me using my posts here... good luck in figuring me out! The closest analogy I can think of this blog is this...

You know, when you consume an excess amount of veggies, and if you are not regular, may be you take some fiber supplements. So you feel a bit gaseous and have this urge to just let loose. Well, this is what this blog is for me. This is my mental crapper. If you haven't tried colonic, I find blogging as a wonderful relief for the mental constipation that I sometimes feel. So you've been warned! Don't bother turning on the fan so that you can clear the air and get a glimpse of what's happening. Don't bother lighting candles to cover up that smell. On the one hand, the stench drives many away, but on the other, people are inherently curious to see what's up. So here you are.

Once in awhile, you might find a gem or two in my posts. It's like hunting for diamonds in a landfill. If you do find diamonds there, they probably are not the result of spontaneous localized pressure that created diamonds in situ, but someone accidentally discarded them. In other words, my ideas have probably been published elsewhere or that people don't realize that how valuable their ideas really are, at least for me! I don't expect people to get what I post right away or to even understand why I blog in the first place. I blog because I can.

MANY people use blogs as a marketing tool, which I do sometimes when I feel the urge to experiment or to mess with people. Some bloggers use this as a tool to seek validation or to prove something to someone out there in the ether. Some chronicle their lives online, some lie, some fabricate, some exaggerate, more bullshit as far as I'm concerned. There are some bloggers who use this medium to advocate for something. A few try to be helpful, which I did long ago and I think some of my ideas have taken hold or at least helped people kill time. I'm not egotistical enough to think that I can change the world, I just make the best of it.

In the end, I go for a good laugh. You probably won't find what I post here that funny or I would have became a professional comedian. This is also not a good place to keep a tab on me or to stalk me online, it's almost like looking at my shit to figure out what I ate. You better be a professional in forensic. And believe me, eating is not the only activity I do but it sure seems to be if you are a regular reader of my blog! I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, and if you ask people who truly know me, they will tell you that I... I'm just one among six billions. The world is a big & wondrous place with plenty of people.

My focus is rarely on the few winners, not that I want to or can be the champion for the underdog, I believe people should go for what works for many instead of buying into the marketing hype. I can appreciate the nuance and complexity within my reality. It is what it is... for me. Don't worry, I will go back to making fun of closeted gays in the community and delusional dumbfucks who buy into the whole self-improvement & passive income bullshit, I'm juvenile that way.

It's the fat that makes you look fat

And your attitude doesn't soften your look either, girls can be just as clueless! Back to getting girls...

First we patent how to get girls, then sex, and mark my words, walking and breathing will be next!

P.S. Sorry I've stolen your precious Dora the explorer... I'll make it up to you by decoding "the famed blue balls."

P.P.S. The best review I've read of TD's The Blueprint Decoded by Ubermensch:

"k guys, i just watched the first dvd of blueprint then went out for a coffee and THREE girls passed out in a moist pile of ladyjuice when I coughed. A fourth was taken to hospital because her vagina would not shut. thanks tyler!"

Drinking the Kool-Aid in moderation

In pursuit of dreams, most people lose sight of what is possible vs. what is probable. This goes back to my argument and my proposition that people should think twice about pursuing "the American Dream." With respect to pickup, most newbies ought to temper their enthusiasm with some realistic self-examinations.

Most marketeers, or as I often called them in my blog, hustlers want us to believe that anything is possible. The closest analogy is I can think of is like buying ONE (or a few) lottery tickets and expecting to win. Derren Brown did something similar recently in winning horse races. He came up with "The System" for winning horse races ALL THE TIME! I'll leave you to watch it for yourself... If you wonder how he did it, he used the tried-and-true method, by systematically applying the law of probability.

If you have ever wondered how to have the sure-fire way of winning the lottery, buy all the tickets that cover all the different combinations of numbers. Otherwise, your chance of winning is very slim. But for some reasons, when people embark on these self-improvement journeys, they all think they will become superstars. I compare this to "drinking the Kool-Aid." The cult-like devotion to gurus, blindly following their gospels, this proves exactly what pickup/seduction gurus warned people about, don't become beta-males. But if someone were to follow someone else blindly without question, that, in effect, is being beta to the leader.

This blog has been about critically examining this sociological phenomenon, whether there's any validity to the methods, the skill level and the factually accurate rate of success of their practitioners. In my experience, most of the materials from well-known gurus do work, but they don't work all the time, on everyone, at anywhere. In fact, in cases where they do work, that's usually when I was being genuine and not out "gaming" girls. Eventually, people will realize that they are being played and they don't like that at all. Being playful is one thing, but being deliberately deceitful and trying to get whatever from people are totally different.

The best way to succeed in life is to work hard and following the traditional paths to success. Sure, there are some unconventional mavericks who do rise to the top, what we don't ever get to see are the billions who tried and failed. You know, similar to FR/LR, they don't ever report ALL the sets that blew them out. Like JFK once said, "Success has a thousand proud parents, the loser is a lonely orphan." Because of people and their egos, they all think that anything is within their grasp, and in trying to get there, they usually end up grasping air and appearing like lunatics.

Take myself for example, I followed the traditional path of building a career; although I'm not the most successful guy around, I am happy with my work and I don't even think about giving it up. I'm also realistic with my ambition, and I often think instead of dream. I continue on the path that is the most probable way of achieving success... And not so surprisingly, I'm quite happy with my results instead of being frustrated or delusional.

This one is for the dreamers...