Life goes on and let it be

Just like my motto says, "Having fun being social." The former can't be taught, and the latter can be practiced. Ultimately, they have to be internalized and then going out, talking with people, that's what living among other creatures is all about.

I doubt that "having fun" is something that can be learned. I'm almost always happy when I go out. Otherwise, I stay home to work on my "inner game." Not so surprisingly, other people go out to have fun too. Forget the game, forget tactics, techniques, and whatever schemes you got, when you go out with an agenda to get/take something from others, they will know.

As for "being social," learn to enjoy talking and sharing with people. What makes them tick? Would you want to be friend with this person? Do you have other things going on in your life besides going out to game? In that case, share them. You will connect with some and most you won't. I'm certainly not at a level that I can bond with just anyone, nor do I want to. Maybe this is what I suck so bad in field, I can't remember most of my interactions to learn what to do or not to do in the future. The good ones just flow naturally.

For me, the two things drive each other and yes, they can be mutually exclusive. I have fun when I'm social and I'm social when I have fun. People try to get at this state by using all sorts of b.s. I don't think there's one guaranteed way, find your own. There are friends who I hang out just to kick it, and I've known people who just suck the life force out of me. Some even go a step further, they are value vampires. All they want is to get something from me, and they will not be around when I deny them access. One girl said it best, this person she saw, he had the resemblance to the elusive killer in Red Dragon, in terms of looks, demeanor, and his general vibe.

Do NOT buy into the hype of the community that these are some magical techniques, they are not. Hustlers have been using them for years to get something from someone. All I suggest is that use these techniques judiciously to connect and bond with some people. They are not meant to work on everyone. But then, do you want to fuck every girl you meet? If you do, you have other issues. Learn to let go of expectations and desires, work on being in the moment, with people, enjoy life, it's quite short.

Being real in reality

Lately, I've been pushing myself to explore multiple areas of meeting people. Alright, I have to confess, girls, at least the some what decent looking kind. I have a certain standard and those who know me can tell you that I'm very shallow! I eat right, I exercise, so my only indulgence is my predilection for eye candy, especially with girls that get to go out with me.

There wasn't enough 'I' in the previous paragraph so I will continue with more about me. After all, this is my blog, about me.

Oh, you are here to learn about the art of pickup?! When I first started this, I didn't have balls and no one gave me the kick in my rear to push me into sets. Now I really don't give a shit. One thing I've given up is fear, fear of a bad outcome, because I have no expectation. Besides, I don't know those people and how can I expect anything from them?

So I've started going to more social events in addition to the bar scene. Two things I learned: (1) most guys are still pussies (must be a Seattle thing), (2) showing interest (Thanks Vibe! Don't bother to click on the link, he's too lazy to post about himself). People simply do NOT know how to convey themselves in the best light and they can't take that much teasing. Most party/bar girls tend to be hit on A LOT, so they would be attracted to a naturally witty guy who can dish it out, but I have to titrate down my teasing in social gatherings or girls (and most definitely, guys) will be turned off by my rather high energy.

Being high energy is like blowing up a grenade inside a tunnel. The explosion will blast everyone apart as well as imploding the tunnel. I have to go in with the "introduce yourself" opener and ask the standard boring questions. The twist is that I tease a little bit, not the full blown cocky & funny (a la David D b.s.). Then I immediately tone down and mini-isolate, peeling one girl at a time from each group and talk about emotion to build rapport.

In order to build rapport successfully, I have to take risk and express interest. Showing interest is my way of rewarding her for compliance and also to put my interest in her on the line for her to take it or leave it. In her mind, I think it gives her a reason to continue to talk to me. Failure to escalate was huge for me before. The reason was that I didn't show enough interest to bait her to invest even more. Girls are attention whore. In fact, being high energy and I usually end up being in the most boisterous set, I would get girls eye-fucking me, which I use to warm them up and by the time I talk to them. I don't need to run any attraction but start building comfort.

In summary, in social situations, introduce yourself, tease a little bit or whatever you have done before to get girls to smile/laugh a little bit (that in community jargon, is called eliciting attraction), and immediately tone down & mini-isolate. Start seeding time bridge early on. Then show interest at high point of the conversation, if she continues to invest, then exchange contact info (i.e. # or @close).

PU to real life

I was out after-work/post-workout gaming with a friend and we ended up opening this 2-set of girls. It went really well, we were bouncing them (sorry, I could exaggerate to "pulling" girls) until we were interrupted. To cut the long story short, it was a LONG sarge, and my first set of the day. Somehow we got into a discussion about her application to medschool and I told her how we are all suckers for stories, for seeing the transformation, the process of change, and that's what draw us into another's world.

Then I came home and read this blog entry of Sinn, about the hero's journey. You all should read it. Simply amazing! This is the same reason why the Star Wars saga has been so popular. The hero, Anakin Skywalker, failed in his journey that allowed his son, Luke Skywalker, to complete. Joseph Campbell and George Lucas worked extensively together to craft the storyline. I'll stop here before I spew forth my geekasm.

For those who remember doing all those readings for highschool literature classes, girls melt when you can reach that deep emotionally. They will forever remember you. Be the fun, the social, and also, an adventurous guy with depth and vision. I'll go rub one out before I go to sleep instead of watching another David D video. I kid... sheeesh! Okay, you wanna watch? And do you have some spit? I like to do it wet. (Apologies to the Pheromone Kid).

Bait and switch

If you are tired of reading rants, please press the back button now! You have been warned! I first thank Flyboy for inspiring me to come up with the title and Vibe for giving me the punchline. Now that I'm done with the rave, onto the rant.

I was out just chilling with friends; one of them told me that a "Mystery Method" instructor was in town. Then I finally met the self-proclaimed MM instructor Saturday night. He went around telling guys to open sets instead of showing any of his game. This reminds me of a quote, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." In this case, there are so many "dating coaches" out there who talk plenty of game but don't show any. The first being the McDonald of seduction gurus: David D. Can you imagine that dude talking to girls and spew forth his mental masturbation materials? I know there are quite a few ways of putting someone to sleep, and so far, pharmacology is still far behind than watching any of David D's videos.

Back to the aforementioned "self-proclaimed" Mystery Method instructor, so I confronted him about his credential. He introduced himself as Kurgen (Turden? whatever) from LA. Then I followed up with what sort of TMM instructor as they have several levels even though the top dog isn't Mystery (Yeah, I find it kind of humorous that The Mystery Method corporation without Mystery). His answer wasn't what level, because he held his frame and instead, he reframed my question and answered that he rolls with Sinn. Without another word, he bolted away like many guys who don't have game, they tuck tails and run around like a chicken with its head cut off, while tooling other guys to open set.

Being a dick that I am, I decided to email Savoy and Sinn of TMM. They have responded that they don't know him and there wasn't any bootcamp here in Seattle this past weekend (contrary to what the dude said). Sadly, this wasn't the first time that someone claimed to be an instructor without any skill. The pervasive number of lies and charlatans that exists in the community is astounding. But then what do we to expect people who learn all these sales/marketing techniques?! The logical choice is to target the most vulnerable population: losers who don't have choices. Guys who are so desperate for women or any sort of attention from anyone that they will pay money for some bullshit. There, I've written it, which I have a solution already.

I'm willing to challenge that ANY instructor who has a better batting average than a good natural. Most of these guys are still playing the number game. Most of the time, they end up crossing sword with another dude because they are afraid of girls. Open enough sets, talk to enough girls, eventually some will hook, and if the stars aligned, cosmic karma is packed into the rectum, leaving plenty of dingleberries who can't open sets, even the lamest geek can get laid. And thank goodness, there are plenty of ugly girls for them to take home for their much talked about, ONS, SNP, and/or SNL. Once again, thanks to Vibe, we have the trifecta of becoming good at the (gay) game. We need to have the gift of being gay, so that we can develop the skill to seduce men. Most important of all, to keep at this forever, by that, I mean being a lifer in the community without achieving any observable verifiable quantifiable result, you got to have the passion! (Thanks again, Vibe).

The question is why the game is gay? Just look around at people in the community. They are here to impress men. Once this is a business, it's all about profit. The best way of making money is by seducing men. The bait is that we are tempted by this promise that they will teach/coach us to be good with women. The switch is that none of these fuckers are any better. What they are good at, however, is to seduce men, so that they can get the fame and/or fortune from other men. Sadly, being popular among guys in the community is like being the champion of the special Olympics.

So if you choose to learn this, ask yourself the simple question: What am I in this for? Women, men, or money? If you sign up now for the In-her game DVD, the first 3 chosen ones will get the whole comprehensive set for free, and those who reserve before the end of the month will get 1/2 off. After that, who knows... This might be gone forever! You are a winner only if you are in her, nothing else matters!

Finally, here are a few more sales terms:

1. Bait and switch
2. Pace and lead
3. Yes and ...
   

The in-her game(tm): Be a dingleberry

All credit for the name goes to Vibe! This is only possible through our collaborative effort. Too bad he's devoting his karma to being authentic and genuine, unlike me, I have the posting diarrhea!

For those who have missed previous articles, you should start with this. Now that you have a brief primer, we are ready to discuss a new technique. It's more than just being committed to opening a set; in addition to commitment, it's about using a series of techniques to convey that we are interesting guys, and after we have elicited attraction, we can proceed to develop rapport so that we can convey our emotional depth, because we are interested in others.

Despite what David D and PU101 teach, we open sets by breaking rapport using being cocky & funny because that convey non-neediness. As soon as the set opens, we have to convey to them that (1) normal (2) social (3) interesting, this along with some others that girls talk about: confident, sense of humor, and the dirty little secret, looks. Most sets usually don't open right away, or they have to size us up to see we are high value. This is when being a motor mouth, and having verbal diarrhea is important. Of course, that's how most dingleberries begin their life down the poop chute. They are substantive but definitely very runny. Whatever threads available become the nidus for the formation of dingleberries. During the attraction phase, we can be break rapport in order to build attraction, but this is VERY brief, no more than 5 minutes. Any longer, and if we don't titrate to the right dose, we will appear as assholes, not dingleberries!

After they invest into our interaction or show interest, IOI, not running away or backturning to us, then we continue by showing our interest. Girls have to know that (1) we lead interesting lives (2) we are interested in them (3) for reasons that we bait them, either in Juggler's investment into the interaction or Mystery's A3 phase of M3 qualifications. This is important because we always start at the evaluation frame. We are not some horn dogs with legs and will jump on any girl, but we have standards. Not all guys have standards, but if we are guys with value, we will decide if she's worthwhile. This is what being in-her game is about; not only do we follow the Dubya plan, we are the deciders! Then we have to hang in there, like dingleberries, we don't let go. Most naturals do this because they don't open as many sets as we do; actually only a few guys have the balls to open. However, one thing many of us beginners will eject because we are afraid of the uncomfortable silence. If we setup the open questions, or qualifications, we have to give them a chance to show that they are worthy; or in Juggler's term, we run the vacuum.

After all that, then we can talk more about the next phase. Being the closer. We have to build enough momentum, from the formation of dingleberries, to congealing, hardening, and remaining sticky in order to close!

Being a pussy

Argh, perhaps other people have this problem. I have been going out A LOT lately and I feel like I have this power to befriend almost any group. I blogged about being a normal social and fun guy. I think I'm there. The frustration is that I am not escalating. If I were to take advantage of Seattle this summer, I have to go crazy with pulls and day2, etc. Inside, I feel I have the power, but I'm not exercising it. I need to exorcise this demon.

Not being a closer reminds me of times I'm sparring, my opponent is down or in submission hold, I either don't push it to the point he's tapping out or just complete my combination which will finish the job. In order words, I'm being a pussy. I know I can close the deal so that I can move on, but I'm not doing it. Someone please kick my sorry ass for not committing to the close. I suspect this is the same sticking point of me ejecting from sets before. I haven't been digging through the community literature on escalation, compliance tests,... This pussy demon will die tonight. I have to remind myself, catch and release, pump'em and dump'em, don't keep holding on girls I've closed. Time for fresh meat. Hear me roar, bitches!

Oh, one more thing. Goddammit, David D C&F bullshit and PU101 banter monkey do more harm than good. I'll have to work on connecting and closing girls. I have to keep the eye on the prize, as this is: In-Her game. I'm a winner only if I'm in her. Everything else doesn't matter!

From geeks to gamers

The community is comprised predominately of guys from the computer industry. I have never worked in it so I wouldn't know. In my line of work, we deal with people all day long and our success is determined mostly by our social skills and in rare instances, technical knowledge. What began as a discussion at work on why most guys will "hit it" with almost any girl, we ended up talking on being normal, which reminded me of what I wrote awhile back. I see becoming a “pickup artist” as a two-step process for many guys: 1. normal, fun and social 2. pickup artist.

Most guys starting in the community tend to be shy, introverted, perhaps even geeky individuals who didn’t undergo the usual socialization process. Before they can start “gaming” girls, I believe they have to learn to be normal first. By normal, they have to be able to to relate to people (gender independent), chill, relax, and have fun.

A good test whether someone is a normal and social person is: If this person were to be introduced to a group of (non-community) friends in a social setting, would this person able to befriend those people and he is just so cool that they want include him into their social circle?!

Some normal turned community guys I know are afraid of introducing community guys to their normal friends because guys who study to become pickup artists but didn’t go through the stage of being normal & social tend to be a bit off, and tend to weird out normal people. If someone can’t relate to people on a friendly term without gaming them; by that, I mean this person can only talk about the game, or whatever geeky esoteric topics not that many people care about, he is doing this ALL WRONG!

Many guys I’ve met from the community can’t walk up and chill out/befriend with normal guys hanging out at bars. Instead, they would read and try to apply AMOG tactics, when in reality, the best way to steal a girl from anyone or group is to be the guy who brings value, who is more fun, and who is more socially savvy than the rest of the group. If someone can’t do that, my suggestion to this person is to step back, stop gaming, and learn to be normal, learn to have fun, tell a few dirty jokes, and god forbid, even be AFC so that one can relate to normal people.

I notice many community guys are very intelligent yet quite shy. In actuality, they have this sense of arrogance, as though they are above commoners. Despite what community guys think of lay people, the latter are probably getting more lays than those in the community. I recognize that where I work and what we do, we are in our ivory towers. This attitude of superiority, in fact, is what prevents many of us from relating to people. Just chill, life is more than just a race of intellect and one-up-man-ship.

The whole idea of gaming is about being normal, fun, and social. This means being able to strike up a conversation with a stranger anywhere, making small talks about mundane, boring subjects and can connect with people in general.

Go read a book, learn something new (not just openers and routines), be interested and interesting. If someone doesn’t have a life outside of gaming, he can’t game. Be a normally engaging guy first, that people enjoy his company. Be comfortable in one's own skin.

This is a 2-step process if someone is not already socially savvy, FIRST learn to be normal & social, THEN learn to game girls. This is supposed to be fun, not work. I'm not one of those PU workshop instructors, I think the minute I turn this into a money making venture, I would have a difficult time keep going out to have fun being social. Then my goal isn't to enjoy the company of others, and my actions would be to hustle other guys so that I can maximize profit, thus I would have to seduce men instead of women; yes, that would be very gay!

Mission accomplished

There are so many things I have to get done and of course, here I am, blogging instead of working on getting things done. If you are a loyal reader, you would probably read about my constant satirizing of the community being gay. Let me count the ways...

How often do you see a group of guys (not men, because most of them ain't) get together to talk about their feelings? These guys would emote their stories and what drove them into the community: wife/gf were cheaters, too shy to kiss a girl,... Sob stories aside, sure we all carry a certain number of battle scars, but to flaunt them and use them as justifications, is this really necessary? Of course, when they go out, they would be talking game instead of playing game. The gayest of all is when they encourage each other, as though talking to girls (uh, approaching and opening sets!) is such a big deal that they would slip in their mutual back slapping or high-fiving (uh, kino escalate each other instead of girls). This gets worst, they would go home, back to their place, do what they have been doing all day, get on the computer, and type up reports.

I have met some true seducers. The real deal hustlers, they rarely if ever talk about their conquests. It's almost like asking a war veteran how many confirmed kills s/he has. Discretion is a must and it's really not something to brag about. But these nerds would type up and analyze every minutia, as though there was a magical turning point. The saddest part is that some of them would exaggerate the look of these girls, trust me, I've met or seen pictures of these girls, they are HIDEOUS!!! Some even feel compel to exaggerate and sometimes, completely fabricate much if not all of the interaction (uh, sarge).

The gayness continues... From the usual KJ's to guru wannabes, yeah, those are the two most abundant and established populations in the ecological niche of seduction forums, would jump in with their false praises and useless advice. Some can start out honest, "I have never been in such and such situation," and here's the gay-seduction happens, "this is what I would do..." because they read that somewhere or mutilated some advice. Or better yet, some pseudo-gurus would spend time to contruct these cryptic NLP latent messages that are basically meaningless once a person with some intelligence and education would deconstruct them. These lame-ass dudes would try to one-up each other. Typing up game when they got none in the field.

Within these forums, or lairs (yeah, gay huh?), they would tally up and rank each other based on different closes. The most prolific posters are the weirdest and lamest whatever beings you would ever meet. Okay, I should preface by saying that this is only n=1 and perhaps Seattle is just an anomaly; where most girls are fat, who think they are hot (BBW, yeah!), many are single mothers, and guys are pussy whipped. There is more woman on a woman than you can handle, and most men should be afraid. Being good gamers should make these clowns more social, the reality is contrary. If you were to drop these lamers into a group of normal guys, these lamers can't do shit or even know how to befriend to other normal guys out in a bar (uh, in field) because all they can talk about is the game. You know who can't get along with a group of normal heterosexual guys? Yes, that's right, gay dudes or closet gays!

In my campaign to expose these lame gay fuckers for who they are. Personally, I have no problem with the homosexual community at all. I have some good friends and colleagues who are gay. They are normal and great guys and girls. What I can't accept are hypocrites. Guys, who are obviously lame and gay, try to pass off as some cool heterosexual dudes. Their inherent lack of self-confidence, hence, lack of satisfaction in their lives and consequently, they have to go out to seek the company of other dudes (uh, wings) so that they can go talk to girls. But before they do, they would strategize, scheme, plan, and prepare for battle. They would think of ways of doing this or that, ultimately, what to take from girls, guys, and each other.

Whatever happened to just going out to have fun? We go out, talk with people, if we make some new friends, great, if not, no big fucking deal. Are we not in this to become more social? Or are we in this to get people? Do we just want to rack up pussies and tally them? Are we in this to be the champion among the special olympic of "seducers"? Why pollute friendship with talk of money? Oh right, because these lamers never had true friends in their miserable lives!

These are some simple rules I follow that make me happy. Live simply so others may simply live. Lead an interesting life and be interested in others. Giving is better that taking/receiving. Let go of desires and expectations, then most fears will naturally evaporate. Go out to have fun and be social.

P.S. Here I was about to discuss why I couldn't bring myself to fuck just about anything (like many to prove that they are not gay).

Here's the thing...

People have asked me privately about this many times... This blog is for my own amusement! There might be some nuggets of truth or useful info on being social while having fun, but mostly my opinions. This is not the New York Times. People and/or events I blog about might or might not exist/occurred; I may or may not be talking about you or anyone in particular, because, after all, I am not that important and neither is anyone else. Seriously, go live the life you want, go make things happen, don't be a stalker or trying to figure yourself / myself / anyone else out by reading this. There is no hidden agenda, no master plan. Be A Man. Live your own life!

P.S. In case it wasn't obvious, this entry is about my feelings how most PU workshops are... gay! As in homo-erotic, man-on-man, butt-raping, recto-rooting, cock-chucking gay, because most participants in the community are! The sooner they accept their lack of success with women is due to their suppressed homosexuality, the quicker they will be happier.

PU workshop: The Journey

For those who has never taken a PU workshop. This is how we get in touch with our inner child. Discover our real selves, the most appealing qualities waiting to get out. We have to bare our souls, shed our inhibitions, destroy our limiting beliefs, be vulnerable, be accepting, and be ready to receive knowledge from our gurus. The true man-to-boy influence.

From this point on, we are ready begin our journey. The road to in-her is a long one; for every journey, it begins with the first step... and here it is.

Night game is where we find the most sets to practice. We will learn the day-to-day influential ass-grabbing subcommunication. Stop thinking, no mental masturbation, we go head first and jump right in. Take a bottle if we have to dive into bushes, whatever we need to deal with our approach anxiety.

When the workshop is done, our reality is shattered. Our frame will be so strong that we think we can dive through wall. We will transcend limitations of mortals, we won't need alcohol. We will leave our past behind...

And in a few years, after a few more workshops, we will sarge just like this kid. He is an inspiration for all of us. Talk about no approach anxiety. He is getting more action because of our patent pending style and image personal image makeover! If only he would post his field and/or lay reports, we could learn soooooo much!

Why I like nottie girls...

How do you flip a girl from this...

To this?

1. Buy her a drink
2. Compliment on her "uniqueness"
3. A good neg hit
4. A well presented DHV story that flipped all of her attraction switches
   
5. Social proof
6. Reward on her investment and relate to her emotions
7. A good smack on her ass
8. The SHOCKER! Blog about her lame ex-bf here
9. Give her the gift that lasts forever; no, not diamond! Pay attention, herpes are forever
10. Switch her car insurance to Geico
    

You got hair, not fair!

So, here's the thing. I should preface by saying that I'm by no means a relationship expert, however, I... know... everything! Because, let's all repeat after me, boys and girls, "you are a doctor!" Very good! Why do I encourage some people to have relationships, while I deride others for having them? There are, of course, multitude of reasons, the simplest being, one was a bitch (not future, or now) boy instead of a toy boy.

Seriously, I am a strong advocate for long term relationships, serially or in parallel. The caveat being that we should continue relationships that enhance our lives. Relationships can be beautiful, joyous, life altering experiences. If people are in an unhappy relationship, they should end it, do NOT prolong the agony. Despite what I blog about here, I am all for stable, fulfilling, long term relationships, when they have found someone who they can connect, share, build happy memories together, and more importantly, people must be happy with themselves, not needing to have relationships to fill the void, or in the case for girls, too scared to go into the cold dark night alone and anything warm is better than none at all.

For those who asked me to blog about the negative aspect of relationships, sorry, I only have good things to say about them, because by the grace of allah, no one has cheated on me (as far as I know nor do I have a reason to suspect), no one has irreparably damaged me, I have been blessed with having relationships with some wonderful and amazing girls. So for those who some how found this blog and want to have a relationship with me, I'm sorry, my past girlfriends have set a very high standard, beauty, brain, energy, personality, outlook,... it's a long list. Don't worry though, it's all worth it. Like one of my girlfriends once told me, I'm a great investment.

Now, why would a girl want to be with a guy who schemed, planned, strategized to be a pseudo-leader of men, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, commenting instead of doing, analyzing instead of playing, self-deluding (oh right) "reframing" instead of being happy with reality?! I talked with a few others, we are rather surprised that there are so many guys in this to get other guys; so my description is more of amalgamation of guys who I can confidently say are gay. Yes, both in terms of being lame, and having the desire to get butt-fucked, i.e. albeit appearance suggests that they are popular, the reality is that they really do enjoy being dominated by others. They are busily deceiving themselves, in denial obviously, I have yet to see them with any girl of beauty or substance, and seducing other men. This pickup bullshit is about going out to have fun; it should not turned into a popular contest among guys, why get political when this isn't even a job, I don't make money from this nor do I have the desire to.

As many have said before, "Those, who can, do. Those, who can't, coach." I don't even know where to begin to teach others how to be happy and have fun being social. Again, repeat after me, "Happiness comes from within, not from without." This is what in-her game is all about. No amount of money, girls, or for many in the community, guys will fill that void that they called life. The only thing of value that people can bring to the table is to have fun together. First, we have to be happy with ourselves, then naturally, everyone else around us will be happy. Like all STD's, it's better to give, than to receive.

More work, less drama

For those who keep pressing [Refresh] on this blog, sorry, I've been busy with work and my social life has been limited. I don't know how people can maintain multiple girls, because keeping less than a handfull is already difficult enough for me. Girls have this tendency to monopolize my time if I give them the opportunity. I think I've learned recently is to keep phone conversations as short as possible; although they build comfort, I don't get to escalate, they are neither face time nor sexy time.

Finding activities to do seem is becoming a pretense to get together so we can have sex. I should skip all that b.s. and tell them to come over to blow me. Or just straight up, "Sweetie, I miss seeing the top of your head!" Yes, mull that over and give it a few more seconds to sink in. Finding a girl with an oral fixation is tough!

In case I won't be back until after father's day... Happy day for not being a father! If you are a father with daughter, please start training her with daily lollipop. Git-r-done!

A temporary solution to a permanent problem

Remember the saying about suicide: a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When I first entered the community, I thought PU workshops/bootcamps can be truly transformational, to shortcut/bypass the traditional psychotherapeutic options. As I am more than one year into this, I realize that for many, PU is a temporary fix for a permanent problem. As soon as the post-workshop high wears off, people will revert back to who they were before.

People are creatures of habit; they repeatedly do what they have done before even if their actions are detrimental to their own survival and/or reproductive success. I see PU changing many people, including myself. That's because PU uncovered our hidden talents, who we were before we were weighted down, covered up, sequestered away our sociable character traits. By releasing our inhibitions, as countless others have done with alcohol, we reveal our inner character, for many, they turn out to be very attractive, magnetic, and thus, become more successful than before. Sadly, for many others, their innate traits are so flawed, so anti-social, despite deprogramming that can be done at workshops will never fix. For them, the proverbial train has left the station, they might as well resigned to their current station in life. I.e. they are where they are because they couldn't go any further in life.

This is what I mean by a permanent problem. So no amount of temporary fixes can get to the core of their character flaw. People who run workshops that truly want to change people should start screening their students. They have to select for people who have their lives together, they are care-free, they are ready to have fun, then teaching them how to have fun is easy enough. Otherwise, they are just spending time to seduce their students, give them that temporary high. Few lives are changed. The only permanent difference is the transfer of wealth from students to instructors. In which case, these students might as well pay for sexual services instead of PU workshops that will not do anything permanent.

Of the people I see that have been changed by workshops, I can see that they already have some innate talents and they work hard to develop their skills. So they don't really have a permanent problem. Just like oxidized copper, underneath that patina, these people already have that shiny eye-catching characteristic. For those with the permanent problem, they are more like iron, rub away the rust, they will just get oxidized again, and repeating this process will only wear away their dull unattractive core. Sure, they can get a paint job, but after a few scratches, they are back to rust-prone dull metal. So what are you... someone with a shiny core or just a lame dullard with no sense of fun?!

Not everyone is born to be a winner. Some are meant to serve as warnings to others.

Expectation is the enemy of improvement

I've always wondered how I sometimes do really well in the field and sometimes, I suck donkey ass. Last night was a great example, I ran around all day doing errands and of course, I overbooked but managed to finish 90% of what I planned out to do. Then I went on a day3 with her expecting to finally close the deal. Little did I know that she turned out to be an attention whore, (yeah, a girl who is an attention whore, an amazing discovery, eh?) and I wasn't able to maintain composure. The best thing I did was to leave the situation before I did any damage and met up with a few friends.

Rather than going to our get together, chill, relax, and have fun like I did with a few friends the night before. My mind had an agenda of trying to close her. Now, I didn't plan and scheme on how I will get to sexy time. It was the only thing that preoccupied my mind and thus, I lost sight of many opportunities around me, when I could have open so many other targets right in front of her.

The goal in this game isn't to go after one girl, because that in itself places a great deal of effort on one girl and she will automatically sense that. I got into this because I want to have choices and by focusing on one with high hopes and expectations, I automatically contradict what I set out to do. Sure, she was hot, would I give up all other girls because of her?! Definitely not!

Both my own expectation of myself and what my interaction with people will turn out distracted me from my primary goal. This is more than just about one girl, a few girls; the goal is to improve myself, not to impress others or scheme & plan to get I want. I should focus on being in the moment, so that I can take advantage of what other opportunities that pop up. The other kind of expectation is to create within others. This is done by using disqualification. One is to release any other expectation from others so that I am not expected to fulfill them. Then the other party can focus on his/her interaction with me at that moment. We have no other agenda than having fun instead of allowing them to have internal dialogs, to judge, to plan, to expect who I am and what they can get from me. People go out to forget about their mundane life. So I should be in the moment, focus on the process of improvement rather than trying to get something, from myself or others.

All gay, all day, every day

Just when I thought summer has started, it pulled a Sharon Stone's Basic Instinct on us; a brief flash of the sun, and now it's back into hiding. Dammit, so I just have to soldier on, pretend I've talked to girls, and expound on my new insights. Actually, no, because I have a hard time lying, as I often tell my friends, I have a very weak frame, that's why I often believe what people claimed as conquests, when in fact, they were just "visualizing."

Since I haven't talked to a random girl in nearly one WHOLE week, I have to resort to do what this community does best, being gay: talking with other gay community guys and theorizing about girls. Okay, first off, there are some great theoretical frameworks and routines that work beautifully and consistently. There is, however, a limit on how much we really have to do. Instead of the silly shit, being myself has worked great so far. I have came to realize that doing what I used to do isn't that bad at all. Surprising how once I've gotten past the initial awkwardness, we can be quite normal, and whether we like it or not, we don't always have to click right away!

Then I visit this one forum regularly. OMFG, the amount of gay shit being posted there is more than what we would get out of Tom Cruise's ass, with a roto-rooter AND a healthy dose of colonics, after he has been constipated since the 80's because he got his shit packed by Goose then Ice. Since when do people have to make such a big fucking deal out of going up, talking with a girl, and if we click, great, if not, fine. Why the big hoopla?! Sure, there might be some initial momentum we have to overcome so that she gets to see us as normal, not like that dude from Red Dragon. Afterward, play it cool and she's just a girl, why conjures up so much drama in one's head?!

Worst yet are guys thinking up new excuses of not talking to girls; a friend told me how there is a thread about guys are investing time and effort into improving their writing, as in hand writing, I kid you not. My handwriting is atrocious, and it doesn't matter, especially with computer printout. The last time I picked up a pen to write anything, was to sign my signature; which I always get compliments. Gay, I know. The worst kind of gay ass behavior is this general neediness, whether to seek out attention (like I do with this blog) or be such a try-hard to advertise.

Take writing FR/LR for examples, I do them for myself and I keep them in my private journal. Yeah, try to get at them, ladies! Not because I like to keep records, but as a way of forcing myself to sit down and evaluate where I am at and what I need to do to get to where I want. Do I post them in public, so I can bore people to tears... or worst yet, I wonder if they are reading some kids' cries for help. Oh, love me, please! I'm trying, you know how hard it is to talk to girls! Oh, please, do love me, for my effort! I thought we are grown men here, not attention deprived kids trying to seek approvals. Yes, I have posted FR/LR's, all because to show off? Not really, usually because I encountered something amazing that everyone should know. More often, I have no fucking clue how to respond/deal with an issue. I'm quite sure other people with more experience can give me directions on how I should react next time. Much of life is responding to what has happened already.

The most undesirable response that I do NOT want to get from people is, "Ewww, what the fuck was he doing/thinking? Is he gay?!" That's the guy's version of creepy. Some people just have this craving for ego strokes, from other guys (gay, huh?). For me, I really don't give a shit. My obsession isn't about getting guys, not to be a leader/seducer of men. Once you've seen one hairy asshole, you've seen them all. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about, I'm a doctor. Okay, now I just write more silly filler crap here so I can wait for you to stop laughing. But breasts and other feminine bits, the work I have to go through to get to see them, feel them, and (ab)use them, not when they present to me in my office, they only further reinforce the age old adage, "Once you see a pair, you will want to see them all."

What's your price?

This is becoming an apparent money driven business. I'm one of the few hold outs who think the community should remain free. Yeah, free love! Who would have thunk that?! In any case, just a brief survey. If you were to take a recent newbie in the community out, to show him the way, how to harness the force, decipher the matrix, whatever gay shit you would discuss and demonstrate... What would you charge for your service?

The going rate for most workshop is around $1600 for about 25 hours. Some charge more, and others less. What do you want in return, to compensate you, for taking someone out?

1. Some guys suggested buying drinks. I'm all for that as that would relieve anxiety.
2. What about cold hard cash? How much?
3. Better yet, I think we should indoctrinate newbies like I would into any gay club, a bj. A bj a day, keeps the doctor and anxiety away. Orgasms are great ways to release stress. I rub one out before I do any approach, I might as well teach a newbie how to do it for me.
   

Skipping the middleman

I have been one of few vocal people calling out the hypocrisy about the community ever since I started participating and hanging out with people who are in this. There are some truly amazing people that I've met, and despite my profession, I probably wouldn't have met them, at least not at this young age. Some are truly beyond help; I would say they should take care of their physical, mental, emotional, and/or psychological health before they get back in trying to get women. Really, they truly are the products of thousands of millions of matings. If they can't find the right partner who would have sex with them, may be they are the few who are destined to be extinct. Not everyone belongs to the gene pool.

Perhaps I don't understand enough to say, why are people so unhappy with themselves that they need to seek out external stimuli to be happy with themselves?! They should look inward, figure it out or with help and get at the root of their unhappiness; yes, some of them are just homosexuals in denial, some are simply schizoids who are being convinced to be people they are not,... In case they are none of the above, then get out there and literally learn to be normal. If not, take a workshop to be a player, but from a legit, proven, reputable company. Even then, I would still advise against that until they have truly reached a plateau and can't improve further.

The best option if they want to get laid that badly is to skip the middleman altogether. Just go directly to the giver of pleasure, instead of spending $250 on clothes, spend that on getting a hooker. Why bother paying some dude who claims to change your life, when you can do it yourself?! Afterall, isn't this what self-help is all about? Whatever happened to the self in self-help?! Take the responsibility of changing oneself, instead of worrying to be leading men, seducing women, whatever. Go take a look at a mirror, would a girl wanna fuck the guy you see in the mirror. If not, then what steps do you need to take to be that guy? I hope your father didn't take a workshop/bootcamp to get your mother. Why do you think you need it? If you do, do us a favor, PLEASE DO NOT breed! One of you is more than enough, and we have enough pollution in the gene pool.

Nonjudgemental interest

After talking about being indifferent to the outcome and just have don't give a shit attitude, I think I went a bit too far. How do I express genuine interest and also indifferent to their reaction? I haven't found a good balance yet.

Some people I've met are quite good at that. They come across as very genuine people, they seem to care about who I am as a person, but somehow, I don't think it matters to them what kind of person I am; i.e., they care but not judgmental. Regardless of who, what, and how I am, they were still accepting. That overall attitude is very critical to be a people person.

Almost everyone wants to be appreciated just the way s/he is. Now, in an environment where there are so many "players," there has to be a certain amount of playful teasing that happens prior to that. One thing I used to do, but for some reasons, I haven't been doing lately is to exert sexual dominance, through a certain activity. I came across like the drunken playful guy, but there wasn't depth. Eventually, I figured out a way to balance playfulness with genuine interest. Girls want to have fun, sure. They also want someone who is distinguishable from all the fun guys out there.

Granted, there are some guys who just don't want or know how to have fun. I recently had a long chat with one girl, just for kicks and giggles, I asked her what she thought of my first impression. Yes, I am an attention whore, I want my ego and a few other things stroked by girls. And of course, I will develop a stronger presence, as suggested by a friend. What she said following was quite interesting about one particularly quiet "friend" who was with me at that time, which I might blog about in the future, if I do give a shit in helping him improve! He reminded her of that Ralph Fiennes character, Francis Dolarhyde, in Red Dragon. That is one creepy psychopath. She's not very far off, though. So why the long diversion?

The reason is that I butted head recently in field with some strangers. Being more of a reactionary hothead instead of a more controlled, caring, genuinely authentic man (yeah, I know), I could have turned what was a bait into a better outcome. From some suggestions with people, I think I know how to respond in general. Be interesting, be interested, but detached from outcome, and more importantly, do not be reactive or judgmental in any way.

Leading with indifference

One of the most low value trait is being needy. Neediness comes in many forms: guys who stand around waiting for someone to talk to them, guys who do things expecting something in return, guys who have no sense of their places in this world and make no effort to change the world, but are delusional enough to think everyone else will make space for them. Well, tough, the world isn't like that. Those who succeed give because they can, not because they expect any reward, compensation, or anything in return.

I have some recent insights on the first few minutes of opening. For the past few times that I've been out, I used a very blatantly untrue, but humorous opener. It opens up people because I find it fucking hilarious. It's very gossipy, and people like that (why do you think you are reading this?). I've explained this to a few people I know and they always interested in what responses I've gotten. To be honest, I don't remember because I really don't give a shit what people say or how they respond, as long as they respond! Any reaction is better than no reaction.

Mystery Method interview talked about this being "illusionary input." I open sets because I enjoy talking to people, that to me is fun enough without any further desire. If they are interesting and good conversationalists, I would continue, otherwise, they are just some strangers I happened to bump into. I find having this mentality works well in the beginning, just be totally non-reactive to what they say to me. Some people call this having a strong innergame, I think not. Others coin this as being indifferent, I would agree more with the latter as I shouldn't give a shit about people I don't know.

The next step is where some people think both Juggler and Mystery diverge. Charisma arts trained people talk about getting girls to invest into the interaction, and if they don't, we need to open ourselves up. Well, Mystery trained people call that telling stories with DHV spikes. Sure, reward and relating is great; as much as people like to think they are special and unique, strangers have a definite set of reactions, and pretty soon, we all know how they will respond and of course, our counter-response becomes a routine. So why not use routines that have been well tested in the community to get started instead of starting from square one and reinventing the wheel?!

Something that truly made a difference that I improved on recently is, for a lack of better term, plowing. Yes, we have to plow in the beginning of the interaction, and with some feedbacks, we have to keep plowing all the way to bed, from face time to sexy time! By that, I find that if I just stay in set and keep my motor mouth going, eventually, out of social convention, strangers will be more comfortable and slowly open up. Girls appreciate the motor mouth, if you know what I'm getting at. Guys who succeed are ones who stay in set. In some ways, that's what I noticed naturals do, they keep going as though those girls are in their space and if anything, girls should be the ones who leave. So follow the Dubya plan, go in, stay in, with no exit strategy!

The next part is about leading. Most interactions will go stale very quickly, especially for guys who use canned openers and milking them to death. However, one technique that is taught but difficult to implement, is to do multithreading. In order to be able to multithread, people need to have a strong identity which they must convey (so that girls get to know them), they have to have a life outside of pickup, and they must have some interests. All of these are for conversational topics. Despite what feminists would like us to believe, girls love to be led. The last thing they do not want is to lead and be responsible. Don't just give them choices, guide them to make the decision we want them to make, but ultimately, they are not responsible for that final decision. Afterall, they are out to have fun. This shouldn't be work. We don't need compensation because this is about creating happy and fun memories together (in and out of bed).