My style of being a lazy, boring guy

I hate walking up to some girls to open them. Being the lazy guy that I am, I usually just sit down at a table. The last one I remember, I started having small talk a guy sitting next to me. Our conversation was boring and learning from Juggler (his materials, not directly from him), i.e. be a nosy guy, he introduced me to his party of people, who were there for his gf's 22nd birthday. I don't peacock normally so he was giving me some advice on dating and how I should lock up a girl while I'm still in college, which was what he did. His girl was fun and so were all her friends.

They all turned out to be coworkers at a fancy restaurant with all those hot waitresses. Perhaps I was being a boring beta male, AFC, he invited me to go visit him at his restaurant, left me his card and wrote down that he will hook me up if I go there next time with friends.

Then I made some comments to a couple sitting a few seats away from me, we started talking. I don't remember what I said, but it was pretty clear to the guy sitting next to her knew that I was hitting on her. Again, using complete Juggler style, I started talking about the difficulty of maintaining a committed relationship. While her guy sitting to her left, she confided to me (sitting on her right) that she was still talking with some guy back home. We vibed for a bit longer. There might have been attraction, IOIs, or whatever else, I didn't look for them. Funny how her guy placed his hand on her left knee while I was teasing her on her right.

My friends came back from their approaches. As I got up to leave with my buddies, I just handed her my phone to enter her contact info, which she did, while the guy was sitting right next to her.

The "sarge" was very low-key, from afar people saw that I was just hanging out with my friends, nothing special. I was not the dancing monkey, I was not the entertainer, and yet, we connected even with her boy next to her. This was something I hope to continue: Being normal, social, low-key, just another guy who can connect with people. Sure, I used some community routines, I told some canned stories, I teased her a bit, but more than 90% of our conversation was either fluff or emotional rapport, very spontaneous conversation threads of being in the moment.

Why do I bring this up? I want to highlight that depending on the vibe of the environment, types of people, I have been working at this for a long time to develop the right calibration; the important thing is that I am surrounded by positive people who are fun. There's no one size fits all method, it's about incorporating what works and be calm, be chill, have fun, be social, deliberate and lead. I'll post my story of how I literally dragged a girl out of the bar to go back to her place in 20 minutes.

FR: mundane small talks

Lately, I've been going out alone or with relatively normal and socially well-adjusted people who can carry a normal boring conversation without running game. Starting Friday night, I went to a mixed club/bar by myself quite early in the evening. There was, of course, a line of guys sitting at the bar. I went up and started small talk with them. I don't even remember what we talked about... but they were obviously out hunting. Two guys going out together are to get laid, same with two girls.

Soon afterward, my friend came and we continued our small talks with other sets. Throughout the night, they were providing us with social proof by walking by and talking to us. Girls somehow ended up standing nearby us just waiting to be opened, which we did. We bounced to another venue and met up with two natural friends who were just out drinking. They were able to hook a group of girls, but they couldn't close the deal, as these guys are living with their gf's. One thing I discovered recently is that how easy it has been for me to blow girls/guys out of mixed sets by making guys within the set appear as the social violators (thank you, lovedrop!).

For the first time, however, I encountered resistance. There was this guy, not only did he take the bait, he further disqualified himself. One thing he didn't do, like most guys usually tuck their tails and leave, he stayed in, maintained composure, and surprisingly, girls also stayed. I didn't gather enough information as whether they were friends or not, which I need to do next time!

Fast forward to Saturday night, I was again out by myself at first. I met up with people I knew long ago and they were out with their girlfriends, so I was out sarging alone. This nite, my goal was to up the challenge by opening girls who were obviously waiting for their bf's. One girl I opened didn't hook, I stayed in and plowed for a bit. Another discovery I stumbled on is that as long as I am comfortable with myself, at ease with myself, and hang in there (like that guy I failed to AMOG), I was the normal guy and when the bf returned, I did the Juggler's alpha-nice. I did small talks with a few more sets like that.

Not once did any guy threatened me or anything bad happened. As long as I was interested in who they were, i.e. not asking opinions on silly relationship/mystery questions, they even shook my hand when I left! This reinforces what I used to do before joining the community, is that I get people to talk about themselves, rather than some other topics that may be chick cracks, but have no relevance to them. We are all egomaniacs. I now think that "qualifications" or A3 is about getting people to open up, or in Juggler's term, getting them to invest into the conversation.

Back to being an ass. To AMOG guys out of set, go in with relatively higher energy, bait guys to be social violators. To stay in set with couples, go in with chill, social vibe, and do NOT run game. The task, for next week, is to escalate and run some attraction games to see how far I can get away with couples. More to come...

FR: Boundaries

Awhile back I blogged about compartmentalization I created in my life to prevent different roles/aspects of my life from interfering each other. The same concept can be applied for interactions with different social circles. When we talk about PU, however, I believe that in order to be successful, the ones who are willing to push the envelope, violate others' boundaries whether through naïveté or deliberate action is a necessary requirement for success.

Much is described and discussed about being alpha, having a great inner game, exactly what that means, what can we distill out of it? I propose that one attribute to be people who are daring, curious to discover and perhaps, to violate social boundaries. The first thing that bootcamps stress and work on is to get guys to approach girls. That alone is an invasion of someone's boundaries; we sometimes have to break into a group and be able to dominate that group order to control the conversation. The act by itself is alpha, it shows someone who isn't afraid of violating boundaries of others. Although the community is moving toward "natural game," whatever that means, just because we appear less like dancing monkeys doesn't mean we don't push the interaction.

The difference between the traditional relationship and one that PUA cultivates is that the latter requires rapid escalation. Many guys in trying to make moves on girls hesitate because they are afraid of rejection, not sure what to do next, and eventually, they lose out. Since we have the roadmap of reaching that final destination, then we need to step on the gas pedal and get there as quickly as possible. Sure, we can take time to enjoy certain moments, but the goal is the vagine, not getting one's ego stroked by other cocks.

Back in Vegas, we were waiting in line for cabs, there were a few really hot young girls standing behind us. I felt this compelling need to be an ass and teased them, of course, that blew open the set. What came next was interesting, one of the hotter girls was with her bf, we talked about cutting in line, etc, just verbalizing hijinks we all wish we could do. Instead of just fucking around, I had her wrapped her arm around me, her other hand was pulling her girlfriend, we started walking up and they couldn't handle the social pressure. Her bf didn't mind, but the girl was afraid of violating social boundaries, so she hesitated and turned back.

Even though I lost her and her friend, another taller and even hotter girl in the same group noticed what happen, we started small talk and eventually, she was all over me. This girl was 5'11 + 6" heels, I never had a girl that tall wanted to take pictures with me, kissing me, and taking more pictures of us. This goes back to my original point, we can talk about many alpha characteristics, one that I think is crucial is the ability to push the interaction, not afraid of push social boundaries, personal boundaries of others, and to see how far one can get away.

The kicker of this was on the day that I was flying back home. We had a great time eating lunch together so I ended up about 45 minutes before flight takes off. I somehow got to the terminal with only 15 minutes to spare and got on the plane. That's another story for another time.

Gay enough to be part of "the family?"

There are a few memorable moments in life that I think are worthwhile to remember. As difficult as it is to believe, I work out, as in weight training, in the gym, for years. Never once, I never had one gay guy tried to pick me up. My workout buddies had been approached about going to concerts, movies, dinners, and even coffee! But me? Not only am I low value and ugly, not even gay guys would hit on me!

Until this past weekend, I thought I have to keep writing fake FR/LR's, pretending to be a guru, giving out advice to guys who aren't getting any just to console my ugly ass, because this is the most exciting thing, as in not getting laid, going on in my miserable boring life. Wow, it's so close... to reality. At this low point of my life, girls were rejecting me, sets were blowing me off, two gay dudes tried to pick me up. And boy, did they try to plow. Verbally! That's as far as they went, they didn't even initiate kino, or if they did, they were so subtle that I didn't feel threaten.

I think the guy who opened me did use a line; he was walking around with 2 drinks. Had he been an HB, I would have a standard opener, but as I was looking away, he asked if I saw his friend, which he went on into very detailed description. As soon as I started to talk to him, his friend magically appeared on my other side! I was the meat in the gay-man sandwich.

The funny thing was that I was talking to a Charisma Arts instructor and his 2 students, instead of the community, I deliberately said something along the line of welcoming them to the family, which I immediately followed up with the kind of family that wears pinky rings, not "the family." Apparently, the sharp witted CA instructor picked up on it and insinuated about gays. I don't know him that well and decided not to follow up. Either those gays overheard my statements, or I looked like a vulnerable straight sheep waiting to be sodomized.

Even though they picked the wounded vulnerable target, I still had enough straight mental fortitude to resist them. They were behaving so normal, so comfortable in their own skin, even though the thought of hairy anoos makes my skin crawls! Then I read a fellow blogger's post about being in the community and not opening sets. The problem isn't just skills, but the overabundance of redundant materials that are driving people from having normal interactions.

Instead of sarging, how about guys going out to have fun? That's what "naturals" do, they don't go out with the mentality of picking up girls. They will have fun with or without girls, thus girls are naturally drawn to guys who are having fun. Happiness comes from within, not from without. Just as guys who can't get their acts together, meaning healthy and wealthy, having fun being social, what girl would want to be part of anything less?! Afterall, girls, by nature, submit and follow. Even the most dominant girl still wants a man who can take her, and she would be happily surrender to the more dominant guy.

Getting back to the issue of people in the community, guys get all hung up of scheming, analyzing, planning, strategizing, as though they are going to war. I'm quite sure it works for some people. In what experience I have, I get all fucked up when I talk about game prior to hitting the bar. I certainly can't talk game with a girl. So my only advice for both myself and those who can't open, just be normal, be AFC, be nice, be social and just have boring conversation with strangers. If Forrest Gump can do it sitting on the park bench at a bus stop, I'm quite sure guys who have done all this book learning can do better!

Sadly, I suspect Forrest Gump got more action than most participants in the community, which makes me think that they are more likely to be part of the family.

LR: Cruising from C3 to S3

I have to admit that I have experienced many sets fizzling out in the comfort stage. I still have to work on balancing the Attraction and Comfort while directing the interaction to Seduction. One thing I remember, probably Mystery, is that I can't language a girl to spreading her legs so I can fuck her brain out.

Instead of taking her statements at prima facie, almost everything she says can be misinterpreted that she is ready to sex me. The last "date" we were together was so unremarkable that I don't even remember what we did. Then she called me out of the blue, hers was the 2nd of 3 calls from 3 different girls that day (I think it's the mating season again). She wanted to play tennis, I dropped by her place, instead of going out to play tennis, we got into deep rapport, again (just like the previous time we got together).

Right at the lull of the conversation, I moved in and we started making out. Just as I had expected, within seconds, she went, "This is bad. We shouldn't be doing this." I almost started to smile because it's almost verbatim from seduction materials. Of course, my immediate response was to agree, got her to laugh, then we went back and continued. Sometimes I wonder if girls are just clones because their behaviors, even in raising objections during LMR, are so stereotypical.

Another time with an FB, while we were full monty, she said, "I can't have casual sex with you." This isn't the first time we hooked up, we have been doing this on and off for a long time. Instead of arguing and languaging her, I agreed, and we went back to what we were about to do.

I suspect that girls tend to raise false objections, just to rationalize in their mind that they have resisted so that they can't be responsible, be blamed for what was about to happen. Sex is no big deal, it's what normal people with no hangups and comfortable with each other have together.

FR: How NOT to sarge the bartender’s gf

Be forewarned, this is my first FR. I’m the product of MM, PU101, Juggler, and my personal experience. To start with, I winged with this friend of mine for over 6 months, tonight was the first time he was able to #closed this hot Brazillian girl for day2. We had some good sets before, but never this chilled, at eased, and totally smooooooth. You owe me one! Afterward, he fell back into his rut of leaving early, another friend came just in time so I had an excuse not to talk to girls. Until we argued and I left to get some water,…

There was this hot girl sitting at the bar with this guy. The proper procedure was to open the guy, who had on a green t-shirt, thick golden neck chain, and grilles with ices, which I did by complimenting him for being the pimp. She was into it and I couldn’t get a straight answer what their situation was, so I just assumed he’s an orbiter, even though she was kino’ing him like crazy, but in my mind, I was there to befriend him.

Once the initial awkward stranger talking mode subsided, I asked her a few OEQ’s which she responded. I immersed myself into her answers and related my experiences, stories in life, some exaggerated, some not, that were comparable with the emotional undertone of her statements. She talked briefly about her non-traditional education, rather than busting her with C&F (as David D would recommend), I related her education with a deep emotion of how we struggle with conformity and our yearning to be free. I also spiked in a few subtle neg, such as how her handmade necklace out of some vines reminded me of how my 4-yo niece loves to make necklace out of beads.

As I learned and discussed in my previous rapport blogs, I kept taking her on an emotional journey, of deep and wide emotions to the point where she bought me a drink. Her female roommate came and they went off their discussion. In between her trying to get me involved into their interaction, I threw in a few routines, attraction type, to basically take control of the group to the point her male friend and female roommate had to talk, and I could engage her back in our emotional journey.

The point where the set hook was when she told me the guy serving us drinks was her bf. I tried my bf-destroyer routine and with some more rapport, she revealed the cracks in their relationship and how they don’t have the discussion we were having! Then she and her roommate went off for a smoke. I went and look for my friend who I had that argument, yeah, guys can have drama too!

As I returned, I noticed another guy was talking to the 2 girls, while they were smoking. I went in with some brief attraction materials and befriended the guy; somehow that triggered those two girls decided to go to restroom (why?) and my target insisted that I wait for her b/c I owe her a drink. So I opened that guy and his friends, chit chat, low energy conversation until the girls’ return.

My target took my arm and insisted that I buy her shot (as I agreed to buy the 2nd round for us). We did our shot and related some more, I suspect her roommate got the hint or was bored, so she left. Then my target went into this long ass story that she basically DHVed herself (for you MM guys, we were way into A3/C1). Back in my head, I started scheming for a good reason for us to meet up again. I false time constrainted that I need to join my friend and we should exchange contact info to do our activity. She objected in front of her bf, the bartender about 2 feet away, so I suggested and she complied by punching in my number into her phone and calling me.

Afterward, we talked for another 20 minutes, I kino pinged her, she was definitely a touchy-feely girl. As I was standing up and about to leave, her bf told me that I was talking to his gf, why he waited up until that poitn to tell me? I don’t know.

Break-thoughs:

1. Rapport through emotional journey
2. Cut routines down to < 10% of time spent
3. Get more by doing less, give her the opportunity to talk and spike in a few attraction stories and routines to sustain her momentum
4. Sarge a mixed 2-set at the bar, the bartender’s gf, without a wing

Need help in:

1. Escalate the interaction by taking the emotional journey toward sex
2. Bounce or venue change her
3. A more solid close