Happiness is a conscious decision

Sure, there are many people who are unhappy, depressed, and may even need psychiatric help. But for most people, if they don't choose to be happy, they end up in a death spiral of wanting more and never quite satisfy with what they have... and so, they become even more unhappy.

I often see people who want this and that, but they don't take any action to improve their conditions, work toward their goals, and consequently, they end up being unhappiness because they have already surrendered their happiness to outside forces. The classic example is the weather. Almost everywhere I go, people will complain about what's wrong with the weather they are experiencing. If it's too sunny, they complain about the heat. If it's too warm, they complain about the humidity. As you can see, they will always find something wrong about their external environment, and allow that to affect them. What they don't ever consider is that there are millions more people inhabiting in the exact same conditions, I'm sure many of those people are happy and not let the weather conditions affect them.

The second item on people's bitch and complain list is usually other people (like this blog!). This can range from family members, friends, to co-workers. Unlike weather, we usually have slightly more control over people who we associate with. I was at a point in my life nearly 2 years ago, when I allowed unscrupulous, social misfits into my life, and instead of extracting myself from that situation, I wallowed in their miseries and I didn't realize how unhappy I was until I extracted myself from that "community." So, look around you, if someone or group of people is making you unhappy, cut them out of your life. Life is too short to squander your precious time with those who bother you.

Yes, there are times when we do need outside intervention. Instead of going to seek out professionals to treat our depression, people would go from one self-help group and self-hype guru to another. However, there are some things in us we have to accept and learn to live with them. There are some ways we can mask or improve, by that, I mean we take actions to change what we can, and accept what we cannot change. An example is our height, if someone is short, he can wear lifts, more form fitting clothes, and carry himself in ways that make him look tall. Take Jon Stewart in the Daily Show, did you notice that his stage is slightly elevated and his guests have to step up to him? So there are ways we can mask any problem, but we don't ever hear Jon Stewart complaining about his height!

That's the beauty of not indulging too much in the self-help, self-improvement movement. The very premise is that there's something wrong with you, you are unhappy, and you are not good enough. And in order for you to be happy, good, etc., you have to subscribe, pay, enroll, and be part of something else. See how sneaky they are at marketing themselves to you?! Rather than getting into an endless cycle of going to someone for more, we are better off accepting our own conditions, be more goal-oriented, AND most important of all, take action toward our goals instead of constantly complaining about our unhappiness. Yes, you are good enough, you are happy, and you must have to love yourself first.