It's 3am, do you know who you are?

The first step in being social is get in touch with oneself, i.e. to truly know oneself. There are many gimmicks that we can learn to trick other people, but in the end, those gimmicks are way more difficult to learn unless you are a sociopath. I'm not one so I don't comprehend and can't describe one to you. So get in touch with yourself, think about who you are, what you have been, and where you like to be in the future.

Let's start with identities that almost always creep girls out. Needy guys are creepy guys. By needy, I am referring to guys who constantly want one thing or another... they want favors, emotional, financial, esteem-building, popularity, sexual,... You will see these guys standing on the periphery of dance floors, leaning against walls at bars, staring at people around them, or simply NOT contributing into a conversation, friendship,... They suck the energy out of any interaction because they are value vacuum.

On the other end of the spectrum are guys who think they are total gamers, they are delusional enough to think they are the masters of the universe. These are the community guys who constantly give advice because they have read all those forums. They are the ones who pretend to be gurus, start up their own dating "company," and their only goal in life is to help men by being dating coaches, lair presidents, (false) leader of men. They seem interesting in the sense that they seem to bring value, but the value they bring is as nutritious as splenda and olestra. In other words, they truly have no substantive value and give you anal leakage. They are the very textbook definition of a geek, they know all the jargon, routines, scripts, "kino escalation ladders," and all they do is talk, write fake reports, and advise others on what to do without doing anything themselves.

Now, what I'm about to describe is my observation of guys I notice who are good with women. They might not be the best, they certainly don't get laid like rock stars, they might not be the best or compatible people with you, heck, they might not be people you want to emulate, actually, why emulate when you should be yourself?! So who are the guys with girls in their life? They are social guys. They get along with people. They befriend others without an agenda. They don't pretend to know it all. They don't compare themselves against others. They don't seek to become popular but they are already naturally popular. They don't want anything, they will offer help when others seek them out. They bring value to any interaction. They provide a positive vibe in any social gathering. They don't scheme. So how do they get laid, you ask? They don't pretend to be something they are not. They are truly genuine, authentic, and natural with people. Girls feel at ease but also know that they will have fun with these guys. I'm not saying that this is the only way to get girls... Between self-proclaimed gurus, weirdo community guys, socially awkward gamers, and fun, happy, social guys, I notice the last group of guys has the most fun to hang out with and girls flock to them. They might not be speed seductionists, they don't claim to be "naturals," they don't bring woo-and-intent into their sets, they just are cool dudes, they are chilled, they don't want anything from anyone in particular.

Then why do girls flock to them? These guys are calm, collected, naturally funny, but not just in a juvenile way, they evoke positive emotions. They don't boast about their successes to everyone, although they might share with their close friends, and when shit happens, they learn and move on. In the next few blog entries, I will go in-depth on the journey to become fun, social, good guys who have girls in their lives. Unlike other scripted bootcamps, where they basically make their students feel good about themselves, and teach them lines and routines, or the latest, more bullshit jargon to learn so that community guys can communicate with each others. Believe me, in the 1.5 years I hung out with community chodes, that's all we did, all talk and no walk. Oh, what about workshops and bootcamps?! Most of their students don't get anywhere either, what you don't know is how many guys ask for refunds later, because it is not in the best interest of these seduction/dating companies to improve guys so that they don't need more workshops, more materials,... No, I don't have the answer or the best way to become an all natural authentic genuine organic gamer. All I can point out are mistakes I made, guys who improve and guys who keep going back for more workshops, community materials, etc.

Ultimately, to succeed is a journey that one has to embark alone, it's nice to have coaches, mentors, and friends, but you still have to do the work, you still have to go out, you still have to go talk to people, you will face rejections, you will make mistakes, and everything will be ok. Like many community guys, most will fail, and few will succeed. If you remember what it was like in middle schools, how many jocks in your school wanted to be pros, and how many of them are ones today? Life isn't just about success, but becoming at peace with oneself, make the best with what we have, and be content. Don't chase the dream, like George Carlin said, "It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." Live in the now, look around you, that's reality. Don't deny what's around, but work hard to change yourself from within.

George Carlin: 1937-2008

"This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people and move west so they could steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto of this country oughta be? You give us a color, we'll wipe it out."

— George Carlin, "We Like War"

"Why a dating coach might be right for you"

Just for shit and giggles, I checked out yet-another-local-dating-guru-wannabe-website. That last statement in their sales pitch sums up everything. I've always been the naive one, I thought that the whole idea behind having fun, being with girls, and having an active social life is about owning up to one's manhood, taking charge, and not having to lower one's value, degrading oneself to do business with these hustlers.

Sure, I've heard the same pitch from these guys before, they are all about helping men. If they are so altruistic, why are they not doing this for free? I had the same question for those self-proclaimed financial gurus, who are on infomercials to hawk their wares, that they will show us how to make a fortune off the real estate market, etc. If they are so good at making money, why do they have to be on TV to market themselves? Because if someone is good enough, people will seek out those.

It's almost an annual thing, ever since my discovery of the community in 2006, I see one group popping up after another to teach guys how to get laid. These groups come up in an annual basis, usually around the end of spring and the beginning of summer. Of course, they usually will go away around autumn and never to be heard again. Their spirit of hustling desperate men, however, never truly dies, it always re-incarnates into yet another group.

The spirit of seducing men by men continues and flourishes; it has so many different forms. From self-help, to get rich quick, to get the girl, it goes on. Sure, there are so very useful materials that one can apply, and most of these materials can be acquired for free. I certainly have benefited from them, and guess what, I'm going to start posting them here. If people keep stumbling into my blog through search for these materials, I'm going to give it all away... on this blog. They don't need to go to seduction forums, take expensive and silly bootcamps, worship some self-proclaimed gurus. I'm just a dude, and I will give it all away... for free... to truly help guys.

Get rich quick!

That was the first internet spam. A pyramid scheme that promises that will get its participants rich quickly. The reality is that very few things in life can be achieved quickly; life itself is about dying slowly. So how do we achieve anything quickly?

There are very few things we can achieve quickly. I chuckle whenever I see someone promises a quick fix scheme: follow these 5 rules to success, the 3 important steps to get rich, or turn it around, don't make these 10 critical mistakes... The list goes on. But if we were to sit down and reflect on our experiences, both mistakes and successes, we will soon discover what will work for or cost us. Of course, life coaches, productivity advisers, consultants, and a whole long list of societal parasites, or as many would know them as hustlers would name the previous statement as the 80-20 rule. The truth is that, as intelligent individuals, we should critically analyze sales pitch, marketing tactics, and simplify them; i.e., cut through the bullshit.

Take a recent video of David D (DD) that talks about time management. He goes on and on about time management, that these tips will vastly improve our physical health, mental stamina, etc., and basically, they are things that most parents taught their kids. Get up earlier than one starts to work; drink plenty of water, eat a healthy breakfast, exercise, meditate, work for as long as one can without interruption, and of course, take a nap when one is tired.

All those tips come from a program called Guru Mastermind. Now, seriously, do we really need to pay a hack working out of his apartment to tell us what we already know?! Funny how a similar story about Tony Robbins (TR) came up; I was talking with this one girl and she was going on and on about how she's a fan of TR. Being a girl, someone paid for her to attend a TR seminar. She's pretty (and) intelligent (I know, a surprising combination eh!); she basically distilled all of TR's advice down to one thing: think about what you want to do with your life, go do it, don't sit around and make excuses. The genius of TR and DD lies not in what they know how to improve our lives, the human condition, but in their ability to market themselves. They are much better at selling themselves, make them seem more impressive than they really are, and people, one by one, fall for their hustling skills.

Mainstream society likes to call that marketing techniques. I'll probably need to pay $40k / year for an MBA so I too can make up some more silly phrases, hustle the right group of people, and dupe the rest into parting their hard earned cash into my hands. So before you throw your money into any scheme that promises a quick fix, an immediate result, or something so fantastic that it's too good to be true, it probably is. If people are more critical instead of simply accepting whatever someone is trying to hustle, examine who and what would benefit from that action, and whether there's even any truth or validity to that claim, we would be richer by not getting hustled. A side effect is that, hopefully, we will have less hustlers to deal with for the rest of the society. But then, fortunately, there's a sucker being born every few seconds. So at the very least, don't become one of them.

Help make history

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Minimize risks, maximize rewards

This is news to me, but not to people in the hedge fund market. Thanks to a friend who told me about this and I then realize how these information / internet marketers work. These guys don't bear the brunt of the risk, and yet, they still profit from those who take risks.

The brief summary of the article is this: The miners of the California Gold Rush didn't make much money, but the people who sold shovels did! Take the classic internet marketeer David D. This guy taught everyone to be "Cocky and Funny." While he pumped out one product after another, more seminars after previous seminars, but he never had to go out to face rejections himself. Or infomercial / TV-celebrities who teach finance, you know them on MSNBC, PBS, e.g. Susan Ozman, Robert Kiyosaki,...

Let's ask ourselves a very simple question, if they are so good at amassing and growing their wealth, why do they want money from us to access their top secret information? Why don't they apply what they preach, assume the risk so that they can reap the reward?! This is similar to the question, that as a kid, I used to ask, why don't psychics use their knowledge to enrich themselves instead of working so hard?! The truth is that it's much easier to tell people what to do and charge us up front, so by the time we have tried and failed by taking risk they suggested, they have taken our money and left town!

Yes, it's a great scam to get on this bandwagon. You can make this work for you too... Don't do what I do here, trying to expose these dirty little secrets, publicly asking the simple and obvious, but often left unanswered questions. Instead, take a look at any risk taking activity, teach people how to do it, charge them money for pointing that out, and just like those who made money during the California Gold Rush, don't go there and mine for gold, instead, be the guys who sell shovels. Instead of taking risk and try to be that next up-and-coming actor, be the agent, or better yet, be the guy who teaches gullible people how to be agents, actors,... And if you haven't guessed it, become a life coach. You don't have to have a successful life, just learn the necessary b.s. skills to tell people how to live their life. This, my friends (as John McCain often says that with his evil grin), is how you can minimize risks and maximize rewards.

Those, who can, do. Those, who can't, teach.

How to be happy... for free!

There's a lot of truth to the expression: ignorance is bliss. I have crossed paths with people in all walks of life and people of varying levels of intelligence. The ones I see most happy are those who accept themselves first, both their own strengths and limitations, especially who are the least intelligent. And worst of all, people are least happy with themselves if they constantly compare with others without the awareness of their own limitations. Even I have suffered through this.

There's no product to buy, no email list to subscribe to, and you definitely don't have to attend any seminar. Several friends over this past week and I had similar discussions. We came to the conclusion the root cause of unhappiness of people is because so many of these unhappy people buy into this whole need to improve. The only people that self-help gurus truly help are themselves... to your base desires, your wants, your envy, your jealousy, and many other traits of social beings that we are and convert us into buying more of their bullshit.

Just as I was writing this blog entry, someone sent me this video. Sure, it can sound condescending and I was a bit annoyed at her style of presentation. The overall message is that we are being pushed, conjoled, coerced,... into consumption. Although this talks about consumption of material goods, in a more insidious way, our consumption of self-help, self-improvement, entrepreneurial guides, and everyone can get rich "information/knowledge" materials is very much the same. We are constantly shown what is possible; the miracle story of how someone became rich and famous, and of course, if we opt-in, subscribe, buy, attend seminars, and enroll in transformation bootcamps, we too can become miracles.

What people don't realize is that miracles are like that for a simple reason, they are VERY RARE occurrences! But in this whole pyramid scheme of repackaging try-and-true ways of becoming successful, we are sold again and again the same bullshit because those hustlers know how to spin the same thing in countless ways! Again, people should go back to doing what has high probability of success than what is possible. We are better off being happy with what we have than trying to strive for these silly goals. One of those goals is that you can work from home, at your leisure, and you can take time off whenever you like. I know plenty of people who work from home, and guess what, they are no happier than people who work in the office! In fact, they tend to be worst off because they lack that human interaction with others.

Life is filled with uncertainties, if we don't choose to be the rock, to be centered, to be happy with who and what we are; we will continue to float in this ocean of filth, constantly rocking back and forth, buying into more bullshit and remain unhappy. No products, no workshop, no book, nothing else matters if we don't make the conscious decision to be satisfied, to accept, to be fulfilled, and to be happy with what is now.