Hunger and lack of sleep

Due to some recent changes in my life, I am working more than usual, which isn't that much! I notice that in sleeping less, I've been eating more. Sometimes I wonder if what I read / learn also affect how I am.

There's a growing corpus of literature that shows that appetite inducing hormone, ghrelin, is not only fluctuating throughout a 24h period, but it also increased due to lack of sleep. This was reported awhile back and my recent lack of sleep has also increased my appetite. Is this real or am I buying into the hype?

Another line of evidence that shows the importance of ghrelin is in patients who have undergone Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery. Not only do these patients have decrease ghrelin, but they also have increased release of GLP-1. Although not a direct antagonist to ghrelin, GLP-1 increases insulin secretion and thus, lowering blood sugar while suppressing appetite. Intriguing eh?!

The malaise

I didn't realize how bad things are out there until I went out to spend my economic stimulus check like any (mindless) patriotic American should be doing. That's when I discover that fashion is so blah and entertainment sucks. Seriously, think back, what was the last good movie you saw in the theater? Juno?! And fashion, it looks like we have finally ran out of ways to put stripes together for collar shirts. I suspect the war we are fighting is draining our creative energy.

We should be grateful for the war, for sending young Americans to die for nothing. That's right, we are fighting over there, so we can pay more for gas here. I'll go back to pursuing my American dream... knock me out and let me dream.

Is this going to be on your blog?

Three individuals have asked me that exact question in the past three days. Seriously, I don't know why people need to make such a big deal out of our daily interactions. But if I talk about our, ahem, rather intimate interaction on here, nobody else will read it except you... that's right, only you. So feel free to share your deepest and darkest secret with me.

The reality is that nobody cares, not even me, and I blog because I need a place to do my brain dump. That's why I've been so prolific, not because I have some amazing insights, but I just need to go, so stop feeding me that "prune juice" for my brain.

Oh right, sorry I got a bit self-involved there, after all, this blog is all about you and our precious conversation. Didn't I tell you? If I don't blog about our moment together here, I will discuss it in my upcoming memoir. So I dedicate this entry to those who asked me that question... with love.

I was ok until you started talking to me...

Once in a long while, I overhear this sort of gems at a public gathering. I find them amusing... guys, with their new found bravery of talking to girls, are now turning into jerks, and worst yet, they think they are soooooo important and significant in someone's life that they get all disappointed when they get that inevitable rejection.

In most social interactions, from meeting new people, to applying to a school, a program, or a new job, they are mostly a numbers game. There are ways we can stack the odds to work for us, but most important of all, we have to be secure in ourselves not to "put all eggs in one basket" so that we are not totally dependent on one event, one person, one job, one school, one program, or one ticket, when we should be focusing on making the best of out of one's life.

When we have enough friends in our lives, losing one or a few doesn't matter that much. Same ideas apply when we are looking for a new career, selecting a new candidate, or even as simple as buying lottery tickets. There is an element of chance in most actions that we take. Looking at this another way, which I prefer because it's, once again, amusing to me, is that if we throw enough shit on the wall, some will stick.

This whole concept of playing odds seems intuitive to me, but I guess for some people, when they are so caught up in the moment, they lose sight of the bigger picture, of whether they have truly explored all options and stacked the deck in their favor. Another is that people would be much happier if they look at how absurd life is and instead of becoming all glum, they should rejoice and enjoy what's left of their lives.

There's no need for Foundations, Transformations, and even The Blueprint. There's no need for Revelation, Awakening, or mind meld / transplant! We simply have to believe in ourselves, in what we do, and find friends we can rely on. If we want to meet girls, keep talking to more girls. If we are thinking of finding a new job, send out feelers, network with people in careers we are interested in, talk to people, and start applying to as many jobs as possible through our contacts. The technique isn't as important as simply increasing our odds.

Boys will be boys

Remember when we were kids, playing at the playground, we would argue who is a better athlete, all because we can rattle off some silly statistics to our friends. When boys get together, that's what they do, if they are not fighting for food among each other because they are hungry, they fight for dominance, fame, and eventually, they grow older and fight with each other for the same thing, plus additional status symbols: wealth and women. There is a time and place to learn to be a better person, a man, and quite often, it's not among a group of boys.

When we are in positions where people look up to us, for advice, guidance, admiration,... we feel good about ourselves. We often seek out people to confirm and validate who and what we are. The problem with this scenario is that we have externalized our happiness and we have given up control of ourselves, because our happiness is at the mercy of others. This is often the reason why I tell people stay away from advice forums, especially online forums that discuss topics unrelated to computer and internet, i.e. technology in general. If we are to think through this for a second, if an expert is well respected in his/her field (i.e. "offline"), why would he/she come online to give advice or participate in silly discussions... the online forum simply isn't that rewarding, especially in terms of professionally and financially.

Another reason is that online, a dog (literally) can masquerade as an expert online and no one will be the wiser. I have seen countless self-proclaimed ladiesmen (or the latest fad, "Pickup Artists") in person, and they have never failed to disappoint, which leads me to my often repeated joke, "they are better at seducing men." At best, most forums are places where blinds lead the blinds. At worst, they are cesspools where guys are busily seducing each other, trying their best to convince others, and hopefully, they might make a few easy bucks off each other. This goes back to my first point, if they had real jobs, they wouldn't have time to come to online forums to read, reply, and debate.

A better way to live is to derive happiness from within, instead of trying to seek approval and garner validation from outside. As long as we feel good about ourselves, people will learn to accept us, even though that shouldn't be what we are after. Take that woman who sang "Ken Lee," she was off-keyed and she couldn't even enunciate the lyrics in English, but due to the modern mass media, she is whipped into stardom. The positive lesson from all that hype is that we can be whatever we think we are, and somewhere out there, there are fans who will cheer us on. And yes, there are women out there who will spread their legs for guys, even for awkward and creepy dudes. So debates about getting girls are as useful as debates on the best way of putting oneself to sleep, trust me, if you are struggling with insomnia, watch some of those David D videos.

While I was in hibernation...

I often joke how I've learned more about history by watching TV than what I studied in books. One of the great figures in our American history that few recognized is John Adams. Definitely go check out the HBO's 7-part series: John Adams. This series dramatizes the hardship, growth, prosperity, finally, achievement of becoming the POTUSA, and of course, the inevitable decline of the man.

One dark page in our 20th century World History that most forgot is the rape of Nanking. Check out the acclaimed movie that was released last year. I'm not sure the atrocities committed by one side within a single war is a reflection on the psyche and cultural values of one particular group of people. It does make me wonder...

How do we control ourselves?

Many people want to have control over their lives. They talk about it, ruminate over what they can do, enroll in courses, etc. What they don't realize is that the first step of taking control of one's life is by not relinquishing control in the first place.

I realize this goes against the conventional wisdom, especially among the religious faithfuls who often appeal to a higher power for guidance and assistance. There's a difference between accepting what one can control and not control vs. surrendering, and then thinking that there's a superior being that has power or knows the one true & right way to do something. Instead of constantly in search of the correct answer, people would be much happier if they just accept things for what they are, and start working forward.

There are times and places when we must seek help, because there are people who are more knowledgeable and more skilled in assisting us. But in most mundane day-to-day living, we are much better off if we don't have to feel like that we are walking on egg shells, because we are constantly second guessing ourselves, whether we are taking the correct course of actions or not. What irks me is that most silly coaches, from dating to life, they are just as ignorant as the general population. When information is so readily accessible, we might as well try different ways until we are happy with the solution. So many of us are raised with the expectation of being perfect, when life is more about learning from one's mistakes.

The trick is to learn from mistakes and what is our own tolerance to mistakes and flaws. I see so many who are learning to fail by failing to learn. They obsess over the immediate problems instead of focusing on the end result. They are constantly in search of that one true course that would lead them to salvation. This can range from following a guru, a school of thoughts, a set of beliefs, to a religion. I find life is more of a random walk, and as I get older, I discover what way points to look for on the way to my final destination.

Another fallacy with trying to maintain control is to constantly look for answers, life and people are far more interesting if we ask questions. The die-hard believers often dismiss those who ask questions and consequently, the same dogmatic followers never discover anything for themselves and they will never grow to reach their full potential. There are no specific set of prescription to have a happy and fulfilled life. We all have to be on our own to discover who we are and what makes us happy. Rather than setting and charting a course for ourselves and others, or to look to someone for guidance, we should feel the freedom to explore, to fail, to make mistakes, to learn from them, to give up control of others, and to follow our own desires.