Boys will be boys

Remember when we were kids, playing at the playground, we would argue who is a better athlete, all because we can rattle off some silly statistics to our friends. When boys get together, that's what they do, if they are not fighting for food among each other because they are hungry, they fight for dominance, fame, and eventually, they grow older and fight with each other for the same thing, plus additional status symbols: wealth and women. There is a time and place to learn to be a better person, a man, and quite often, it's not among a group of boys.

When we are in positions where people look up to us, for advice, guidance, admiration,... we feel good about ourselves. We often seek out people to confirm and validate who and what we are. The problem with this scenario is that we have externalized our happiness and we have given up control of ourselves, because our happiness is at the mercy of others. This is often the reason why I tell people stay away from advice forums, especially online forums that discuss topics unrelated to computer and internet, i.e. technology in general. If we are to think through this for a second, if an expert is well respected in his/her field (i.e. "offline"), why would he/she come online to give advice or participate in silly discussions... the online forum simply isn't that rewarding, especially in terms of professionally and financially.

Another reason is that online, a dog (literally) can masquerade as an expert online and no one will be the wiser. I have seen countless self-proclaimed ladiesmen (or the latest fad, "Pickup Artists") in person, and they have never failed to disappoint, which leads me to my often repeated joke, "they are better at seducing men." At best, most forums are places where blinds lead the blinds. At worst, they are cesspools where guys are busily seducing each other, trying their best to convince others, and hopefully, they might make a few easy bucks off each other. This goes back to my first point, if they had real jobs, they wouldn't have time to come to online forums to read, reply, and debate.

A better way to live is to derive happiness from within, instead of trying to seek approval and garner validation from outside. As long as we feel good about ourselves, people will learn to accept us, even though that shouldn't be what we are after. Take that woman who sang "Ken Lee," she was off-keyed and she couldn't even enunciate the lyrics in English, but due to the modern mass media, she is whipped into stardom. The positive lesson from all that hype is that we can be whatever we think we are, and somewhere out there, there are fans who will cheer us on. And yes, there are women out there who will spread their legs for guys, even for awkward and creepy dudes. So debates about getting girls are as useful as debates on the best way of putting oneself to sleep, trust me, if you are struggling with insomnia, watch some of those David D videos.