Getting girls with no game!

RSD is jumping on the "natural game" bandwagon; no, seriously, when was the last time you notice RSD coming up with something new?! What they taught before was a bastardized form of Mystery's M3, and no, I'm not fan of Style either, who also taught another bastardized form of M3. And I think Mystery is a freak, at least no one else claims to have invented the M3 model. So what is really natural game?

The truth is that it doesn't take any game. Keep talking to girls, especially drunk girls, you too will be able to take them home. It's not difficult, as long as you are willing to take risks (e.g. rape charge, STD,...), and you have lowered your standard enough (e.g. fat, ugly, and/or dirty girls), there are plenty of girls out to get laid pretty much every where. That's the dirty secret these guys, RSD, Style, Mystery included, don't tell you. Drunk girls don't require any game. As long as you look relatively decent, not creepy, not too grabby, and most important of all, keep running your mouth, girls will take you home or you can take them home.

Girls + alcohol = easy sex. There's no game in that equation. Now if you want great sex, and emotionally fulfilling relationships, that's a different story. Even then, they also don't require game as in how it's taught by dating coaches or promulgated by keyboard jockeys on seduction forums. The reality is that guys should chill out, don't get all caught up in gaming.

In fact, get rid of these silly terms of eliciting attraction and running comfort game. You know what normal people call these behaviors? The first is called flirting, you know, guys and girls joke around. If girls don't run away, then they ARE interested. No one can sink every basket, hit a home-run off every pitch,... in the same way, not every girl will respond positively. Accept that and move on. And yes, with time and practice, you will improve, not because you have game, but because you have a better social intuition. Which has to be experienced rather than constantly searched and dissected for, because while you are doing that, girls have already been creeped out by you.

As for game is played in comfort, it's about being yourself, showing girls who you really are, inside. If you keep running routines and/or telling stories by other people, and unless you are a psychopath or a great actor, people will notice. However, the trick isn't to lie, but to spin those stories, filter them and deliver them in ways that are more palatable to girls. Do NOT try to embed DHV's, that's what normal people call bragging.

So study up the general concepts, internalize them, and stop thinking about them, because the act of thinking about them will turn every interaction into an awkward, robotic affair. One more thing, for guys who want to get laid by paying for bootcamps... save that money, go buy yourself some nice clothes, and spend the rest on hookers. At least you know what you will get, for sure. And if you feeling like hunting, go look for drunk chicks.

What would I tell the younger version of me?

Thanks to "Michael," in his comment, he makes me ask myself, would I have gone through the same journey? I think I would have, and the only changes I make would be the focus and goals. Rather than having one-night-stand as the goal, pulling strippers off their poles, etc., we should focus not just on the fundamentals, but rather, on being normal socially well-adjusted human beings. By that, I am referring to being a (for a lack of a better term) charismatic person that people would look to for leadership, guidance, fun & social activities.

To this very day, I still see some community guys I know... their goals are to get girls, and guess what, they do get some actions now and then, mostly from the bottom of the barrel left overs that you wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Sure, they focus on the process a lot, "Oh, I'm getting IOI's. I'm doing this and getting that." In the end, who really gives a shit? The community term for this is validation seeking. They are trying to fill some void in themselves or worst yet, trying to cover for some character flaws they have.

Why do I have such an obsession about community guys being gay and creepy? Am I projecting? Do I have these self-loathing fears because I have some of those characteristics within me? I wish I have such an insight on myself to post a great psychoanalysis. But this came by ways of what other told me. After numerous occasions, where strangers would pull me aside and asked me why my "friends" were so weird, they were creeping girls out, and/or they seemed gay, then I realize that those community people that I have surrounded myself with were abnormal. Now, I could have bought into the societal programming and peer pressure. Then I started comparing what I was doing versus those mystical beings that community dudes like to worship, "the naturals." I had friends who were good with women, and they were nothing like community guys, in fact, hanging out with community guys caused me to deviate further away from normal and acceptable social norms.

I can lie and blog about some silly ideas I have, but sadly, I'm not such a creative writer, so I write what I know and have experienced. As to how I would change in terms of focus, rather than trying to get girls, be the happy, fun, social, charismatic guy. Stop wasting time on trying to get anything from people, I don't have to try so hard to be something in order get stuff from people, rather, my goal is to be fulfilled by myself, going out should be about being among people, not to game, but to mingle.

The act of gaming girls is very much like masturbation; yes, the latter subject I know quite well! They game girls thinking that they will get sex; this is similar to the act of masturbation is really just our way of tricking our brain into thinking we are having sex. So instead of living in this delusional world of doing this and acting that to get girls, we should be social, cool, calm, collected, playful, fun, happy guys. This might be new to many community newbies, as I had a suspicion but I wasn't sure because it didn't make sense until I read community materials, kissing girls isn't a big deal, they want sex just as much if not more as guys. Instead of always be closing, which usually end up closing the door on potential friendships and more often than not, sexual relationships. This is the very reason why many community guys do not have many friends, not just friends with girls, but not a whole lot of guy friends, and not just guy friends to party with, but friends who they trust and rely on.

This is why I would direct my focus on (the derogatory term) self-improvement (i.e. improving by myself, for myself, not just relying on coaches) and surrounding myself with friends, or in community terms, aligning myself with high-value people, by people, I'm talking about both men and women. The newbie mission should not be about learning and delivering canned routines, it should be about socializing with people, not just in telling stories and trying to elicit responses from people. Rather, take the time, even a long time if necessary, to become a social human being.

I will blog about how to be social and sexual, that's something I don't have a complete grasp yet. There is no shortcut, taking workshops / bootcamps doesn't magically transform people, I know countless community chodes who are workshop- / bootcamp-aholic and they are still the same as before. Or countless guys who got refund because they didn't get anything out of their coaches. This is all a step-wise self-improvement process. It takes hard work and the balls to take on challenges.

It's 3am, do you know who you are?

The first step in being social is get in touch with oneself, i.e. to truly know oneself. There are many gimmicks that we can learn to trick other people, but in the end, those gimmicks are way more difficult to learn unless you are a sociopath. I'm not one so I don't comprehend and can't describe one to you. So get in touch with yourself, think about who you are, what you have been, and where you like to be in the future.

Let's start with identities that almost always creep girls out. Needy guys are creepy guys. By needy, I am referring to guys who constantly want one thing or another... they want favors, emotional, financial, esteem-building, popularity, sexual,... You will see these guys standing on the periphery of dance floors, leaning against walls at bars, staring at people around them, or simply NOT contributing into a conversation, friendship,... They suck the energy out of any interaction because they are value vacuum.

On the other end of the spectrum are guys who think they are total gamers, they are delusional enough to think they are the masters of the universe. These are the community guys who constantly give advice because they have read all those forums. They are the ones who pretend to be gurus, start up their own dating "company," and their only goal in life is to help men by being dating coaches, lair presidents, (false) leader of men. They seem interesting in the sense that they seem to bring value, but the value they bring is as nutritious as splenda and olestra. In other words, they truly have no substantive value and give you anal leakage. They are the very textbook definition of a geek, they know all the jargon, routines, scripts, "kino escalation ladders," and all they do is talk, write fake reports, and advise others on what to do without doing anything themselves.

Now, what I'm about to describe is my observation of guys I notice who are good with women. They might not be the best, they certainly don't get laid like rock stars, they might not be the best or compatible people with you, heck, they might not be people you want to emulate, actually, why emulate when you should be yourself?! So who are the guys with girls in their life? They are social guys. They get along with people. They befriend others without an agenda. They don't pretend to know it all. They don't compare themselves against others. They don't seek to become popular but they are already naturally popular. They don't want anything, they will offer help when others seek them out. They bring value to any interaction. They provide a positive vibe in any social gathering. They don't scheme. So how do they get laid, you ask? They don't pretend to be something they are not. They are truly genuine, authentic, and natural with people. Girls feel at ease but also know that they will have fun with these guys. I'm not saying that this is the only way to get girls... Between self-proclaimed gurus, weirdo community guys, socially awkward gamers, and fun, happy, social guys, I notice the last group of guys has the most fun to hang out with and girls flock to them. They might not be speed seductionists, they don't claim to be "naturals," they don't bring woo-and-intent into their sets, they just are cool dudes, they are chilled, they don't want anything from anyone in particular.

Then why do girls flock to them? These guys are calm, collected, naturally funny, but not just in a juvenile way, they evoke positive emotions. They don't boast about their successes to everyone, although they might share with their close friends, and when shit happens, they learn and move on. In the next few blog entries, I will go in-depth on the journey to become fun, social, good guys who have girls in their lives. Unlike other scripted bootcamps, where they basically make their students feel good about themselves, and teach them lines and routines, or the latest, more bullshit jargon to learn so that community guys can communicate with each others. Believe me, in the 1.5 years I hung out with community chodes, that's all we did, all talk and no walk. Oh, what about workshops and bootcamps?! Most of their students don't get anywhere either, what you don't know is how many guys ask for refunds later, because it is not in the best interest of these seduction/dating companies to improve guys so that they don't need more workshops, more materials,... No, I don't have the answer or the best way to become an all natural authentic genuine organic gamer. All I can point out are mistakes I made, guys who improve and guys who keep going back for more workshops, community materials, etc.

Ultimately, to succeed is a journey that one has to embark alone, it's nice to have coaches, mentors, and friends, but you still have to do the work, you still have to go out, you still have to go talk to people, you will face rejections, you will make mistakes, and everything will be ok. Like many community guys, most will fail, and few will succeed. If you remember what it was like in middle schools, how many jocks in your school wanted to be pros, and how many of them are ones today? Life isn't just about success, but becoming at peace with oneself, make the best with what we have, and be content. Don't chase the dream, like George Carlin said, "It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." Live in the now, look around you, that's reality. Don't deny what's around, but work hard to change yourself from within.

George Carlin: 1937-2008

"This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people and move west so they could steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto of this country oughta be? You give us a color, we'll wipe it out."

— George Carlin, "We Like War"

"Why a dating coach might be right for you"

Just for shit and giggles, I checked out yet-another-local-dating-guru-wannabe-website. That last statement in their sales pitch sums up everything. I've always been the naive one, I thought that the whole idea behind having fun, being with girls, and having an active social life is about owning up to one's manhood, taking charge, and not having to lower one's value, degrading oneself to do business with these hustlers.

Sure, I've heard the same pitch from these guys before, they are all about helping men. If they are so altruistic, why are they not doing this for free? I had the same question for those self-proclaimed financial gurus, who are on infomercials to hawk their wares, that they will show us how to make a fortune off the real estate market, etc. If they are so good at making money, why do they have to be on TV to market themselves? Because if someone is good enough, people will seek out those.

It's almost an annual thing, ever since my discovery of the community in 2006, I see one group popping up after another to teach guys how to get laid. These groups come up in an annual basis, usually around the end of spring and the beginning of summer. Of course, they usually will go away around autumn and never to be heard again. Their spirit of hustling desperate men, however, never truly dies, it always re-incarnates into yet another group.

The spirit of seducing men by men continues and flourishes; it has so many different forms. From self-help, to get rich quick, to get the girl, it goes on. Sure, there are so very useful materials that one can apply, and most of these materials can be acquired for free. I certainly have benefited from them, and guess what, I'm going to start posting them here. If people keep stumbling into my blog through search for these materials, I'm going to give it all away... on this blog. They don't need to go to seduction forums, take expensive and silly bootcamps, worship some self-proclaimed gurus. I'm just a dude, and I will give it all away... for free... to truly help guys.

Get rich quick!

That was the first internet spam. A pyramid scheme that promises that will get its participants rich quickly. The reality is that very few things in life can be achieved quickly; life itself is about dying slowly. So how do we achieve anything quickly?

There are very few things we can achieve quickly. I chuckle whenever I see someone promises a quick fix scheme: follow these 5 rules to success, the 3 important steps to get rich, or turn it around, don't make these 10 critical mistakes... The list goes on. But if we were to sit down and reflect on our experiences, both mistakes and successes, we will soon discover what will work for or cost us. Of course, life coaches, productivity advisers, consultants, and a whole long list of societal parasites, or as many would know them as hustlers would name the previous statement as the 80-20 rule. The truth is that, as intelligent individuals, we should critically analyze sales pitch, marketing tactics, and simplify them; i.e., cut through the bullshit.

Take a recent video of David D (DD) that talks about time management. He goes on and on about time management, that these tips will vastly improve our physical health, mental stamina, etc., and basically, they are things that most parents taught their kids. Get up earlier than one starts to work; drink plenty of water, eat a healthy breakfast, exercise, meditate, work for as long as one can without interruption, and of course, take a nap when one is tired.

All those tips come from a program called Guru Mastermind. Now, seriously, do we really need to pay a hack working out of his apartment to tell us what we already know?! Funny how a similar story about Tony Robbins (TR) came up; I was talking with this one girl and she was going on and on about how she's a fan of TR. Being a girl, someone paid for her to attend a TR seminar. She's pretty (and) intelligent (I know, a surprising combination eh!); she basically distilled all of TR's advice down to one thing: think about what you want to do with your life, go do it, don't sit around and make excuses. The genius of TR and DD lies not in what they know how to improve our lives, the human condition, but in their ability to market themselves. They are much better at selling themselves, make them seem more impressive than they really are, and people, one by one, fall for their hustling skills.

Mainstream society likes to call that marketing techniques. I'll probably need to pay $40k / year for an MBA so I too can make up some more silly phrases, hustle the right group of people, and dupe the rest into parting their hard earned cash into my hands. So before you throw your money into any scheme that promises a quick fix, an immediate result, or something so fantastic that it's too good to be true, it probably is. If people are more critical instead of simply accepting whatever someone is trying to hustle, examine who and what would benefit from that action, and whether there's even any truth or validity to that claim, we would be richer by not getting hustled. A side effect is that, hopefully, we will have less hustlers to deal with for the rest of the society. But then, fortunately, there's a sucker being born every few seconds. So at the very least, don't become one of them.

Help make history

Whether you are reading this blog using IE, Opera, or even Firefox (v2), go download & install the latest version of Firefox (v3)! Oh, you can't install your own program on your work machine? No problem! Check out this portable version. I have been using beta versions for the past 6 months and Firefox3 is the best browser that I've used: Fast, saves memory, with more features than ever!

Help get Firefox3 into the Guinness' Book of World Records for the most download in one day!

Minimize risks, maximize rewards

This is news to me, but not to people in the hedge fund market. Thanks to a friend who told me about this and I then realize how these information / internet marketers work. These guys don't bear the brunt of the risk, and yet, they still profit from those who take risks.

The brief summary of the article is this: The miners of the California Gold Rush didn't make much money, but the people who sold shovels did! Take the classic internet marketeer David D. This guy taught everyone to be "Cocky and Funny." While he pumped out one product after another, more seminars after previous seminars, but he never had to go out to face rejections himself. Or infomercial / TV-celebrities who teach finance, you know them on MSNBC, PBS, e.g. Susan Ozman, Robert Kiyosaki,...

Let's ask ourselves a very simple question, if they are so good at amassing and growing their wealth, why do they want money from us to access their top secret information? Why don't they apply what they preach, assume the risk so that they can reap the reward?! This is similar to the question, that as a kid, I used to ask, why don't psychics use their knowledge to enrich themselves instead of working so hard?! The truth is that it's much easier to tell people what to do and charge us up front, so by the time we have tried and failed by taking risk they suggested, they have taken our money and left town!

Yes, it's a great scam to get on this bandwagon. You can make this work for you too... Don't do what I do here, trying to expose these dirty little secrets, publicly asking the simple and obvious, but often left unanswered questions. Instead, take a look at any risk taking activity, teach people how to do it, charge them money for pointing that out, and just like those who made money during the California Gold Rush, don't go there and mine for gold, instead, be the guys who sell shovels. Instead of taking risk and try to be that next up-and-coming actor, be the agent, or better yet, be the guy who teaches gullible people how to be agents, actors,... And if you haven't guessed it, become a life coach. You don't have to have a successful life, just learn the necessary b.s. skills to tell people how to live their life. This, my friends (as John McCain often says that with his evil grin), is how you can minimize risks and maximize rewards.

Those, who can, do. Those, who can't, teach.

How to be happy... for free!

There's a lot of truth to the expression: ignorance is bliss. I have crossed paths with people in all walks of life and people of varying levels of intelligence. The ones I see most happy are those who accept themselves first, both their own strengths and limitations, especially who are the least intelligent. And worst of all, people are least happy with themselves if they constantly compare with others without the awareness of their own limitations. Even I have suffered through this.

There's no product to buy, no email list to subscribe to, and you definitely don't have to attend any seminar. Several friends over this past week and I had similar discussions. We came to the conclusion the root cause of unhappiness of people is because so many of these unhappy people buy into this whole need to improve. The only people that self-help gurus truly help are themselves... to your base desires, your wants, your envy, your jealousy, and many other traits of social beings that we are and convert us into buying more of their bullshit.

Just as I was writing this blog entry, someone sent me this video. Sure, it can sound condescending and I was a bit annoyed at her style of presentation. The overall message is that we are being pushed, conjoled, coerced,... into consumption. Although this talks about consumption of material goods, in a more insidious way, our consumption of self-help, self-improvement, entrepreneurial guides, and everyone can get rich "information/knowledge" materials is very much the same. We are constantly shown what is possible; the miracle story of how someone became rich and famous, and of course, if we opt-in, subscribe, buy, attend seminars, and enroll in transformation bootcamps, we too can become miracles.

What people don't realize is that miracles are like that for a simple reason, they are VERY RARE occurrences! But in this whole pyramid scheme of repackaging try-and-true ways of becoming successful, we are sold again and again the same bullshit because those hustlers know how to spin the same thing in countless ways! Again, people should go back to doing what has high probability of success than what is possible. We are better off being happy with what we have than trying to strive for these silly goals. One of those goals is that you can work from home, at your leisure, and you can take time off whenever you like. I know plenty of people who work from home, and guess what, they are no happier than people who work in the office! In fact, they tend to be worst off because they lack that human interaction with others.

Life is filled with uncertainties, if we don't choose to be the rock, to be centered, to be happy with who and what we are; we will continue to float in this ocean of filth, constantly rocking back and forth, buying into more bullshit and remain unhappy. No products, no workshop, no book, nothing else matters if we don't make the conscious decision to be satisfied, to accept, to be fulfilled, and to be happy with what is now.

The search for answers

I see the extremes in people looking for help and/or answers all the time. On one side are people who constantly look for help, answers, etc. and they don't bring anything from their own life and experiences to contribute. On the other extreme are people who think they are the latest self-hype gurus; they are always there to give answers, they think they have solved all the enigmas in life, they have it all figured out. I propose that most of us are in the middle; there are subjects we all can learn from, both from "experts" and each other.

Perhaps, the answer lies in our search for it. Perhaps there are questions that will remain that way... No one among us has the answer that is beyond the reach of all of us. Almost any theistic religion makes for a good case study; for reasons that I don't comprehend, there are high priests who seem to know the answer beyond our immediate experience and they claim to know what happens to us when we die. What makes them so special? Can we group them among psychics and other charlatans? Just because they are state-sanctioned doesn't mean they are beyond reproach.

If we extend the same reasoning, what makes some of these self-hype gurus any more knowledgeable than us? That's the problem I had previously when I threw out my own knowledge and experience just so I can learn from these seduction gurus. The reality is that they are no better than any average Joe. The secret lies with their ability to market themselves and to cross-promote each other. The secret to meeting people is to keep meeting people. Some we will get along and some we won't.

There aren't that many secrets to making money either. We simply have to work hard at our respective jobs and get along with our colleagues. Another is to keep trying out different ways to make money... The buzzword is about being entrepreneurial.

If we want to be healthy, we have exercise and eat right, just like what most of us learned from our parents. As for other unanswerable questions, we just have to learn to live with some mysteries in life. We should not keep looking for answers as if there's a void within us that only others can fulfill. We don't need gurus or some whatever coaches come along to teach us. Instead, we are better off looking within, accepting ourselves, improving what we can, and be happy with who we are. This is something I or a guest blogger will continue.

Setting up an effective and functional budget

I've discussed the importance of savings in previous blog entries. How to do it effectively? I've been keeping track of my income and expenditure for the past few years and I've finally nailed down an effective system that works.

In order to make a realistic and effective budget that I can keep up, I've been keeping track of all of my incomes and expenses. Not only do I record my financial activities into an excel worksheet, such as when & where each item occurs, how much, and involves which account (e.g. credit card? checking account?), I've also categorized all my transactions. On a monthly or any arbitrary period, I add up all my activities according to categories that I've set up. This way, I can get an overall view of how much I've earned and spent in each category.

The key to keeping track of financial activities is strike a balance between getting a summary (big picture) view vs. sufficient granularity so that I can identify which is most profitable and where I spent the most; i.e. finding leaks that I can plug. This is why categorizing each transaction is important, so that I can keep a summary table of categories, where I can track and eventually budget in advance.

To start with, each account has its own manila folder, preferably the pocket kind so receipts and invoices don't fall out of the sides. Each week, record all those transactions into my excel worksheet. My template is to have one row per day, and at least one column per account. The columns are not fixed, I have at least a dozen columns to handle several transactions per accounts and for multiple accounts. So each label includes what it's about (vendor, supplier, what it's about, category) and also which account. I have set up excel functions for each account to tabulate only transactions of that particular account. On the side, I have a list of different categories, and associate with each category, there's a summary value for each month. I also include how far away from the budget and what is the monthly average for this year and the last. This way, I can predict how much I will need to allocate for next year's budget.

The beauty of this system is that I can keep track of not only what's going on, whether my finance has deviated from history, my current progress and what else I need to do to reach my goals. If you want a copy of my excel template... shoot me an email.

Are you adventurous?

Don't watch if you have a fear of heights...

Does 'passive income' exist?

People often ask me about how this blog is doing and whether I'm making money from this. Yes, I do, but not as much as people are led to believe because of hype. If you are a frequent reader, you know how I like to draw parallels... Just like most seduction gurus talk about how often they get girls, the reality is that they are, AT BEST, just normal dudes who talk to girls and, like regular folks, they get about the same amount of tails.

Sure, there are times when they get a few more girls, but those are not that often. Unless you don't have a day job, it's not that fun to go on 4-5 dates (with a different girl each time) per week. Dating can be fun, but at that point, it becomes a chore, and who likes chores?!

Similarly, when people talk about earning a passive income, like investing, rental properties, blogging, Adsense, and who knows what else self-help/self-hype gurus will come up with next. There are many active and hidden expenses that people don't know about in order to earn a "passive income." There is a certain amount of voyeurism among people who read blogs, in order to satisfy that, they need a certain amount of personal tidbits and emotional escapism to keep them coming back for more. After awhile, blogging can take an emotional toll or at the very least, it takes a certain amount of passion and drive to keep going.

I was reading this one article about how "passive income" is really a myth. People forget to factor in other costs; take any rental property, those investment self-hype gurus don't talk about the work of finding good tenants, credit and background checks, upkeep of the property, and of course, good customer service is hard work. The easiest way to be rich is to born into a wealthy family, short of that, people have to work hard, work smart, save, and invest. There simply isn't an easy way around this... A passage that people often cite from the book "The Millionaire Next Door" talks about the following: Millionaires are frugal, most rich folks are that way because they saved what they make; sure, they might earn slightly more than others, but their saving habits are what make them rich. "They drive old cars, live in modest houses and wear average clothes. They are rich, not because they are lucky or they have found some secret formula to wealth, but because they work hard, keep a long-term perspective and spend little."

I previously blogged about how to be successful: we must have good mentors, reliable and loyal friends who will challenge and help us, and we don't have to be the best, just slightly better. The trick is to maintain that habit.

When it doesn't count...

This isn't a huge revelation, but it's something I just discovered recently from examining my past and comparing my experience with others. Guys are often confronted by how irrational girls can be. This would be a total shocker to those guys, but if you look back at your experience and/or others that you know. You will discover that girls don't count certain sexual encounters. I will discuss why knowing this is important in a little bit, after we have examined the circumstances surrounding these special encounters.

The main one being when girls are on vacation; they are away from their peer group and thus, social pressure and judgment. They are much more likely to hook up with random guys. So the extension of this is that well known vacation spots are havens for random hookups: e.g. Las Vegas. Another is when both parties have been in a platonic friendship, what does it take to push it into a no-string-attached sexual encounter? When either party is moving away from the social or peer group. I can do some magical hand-waving explanation using evolutionary biology, but just remember, the best way to build up sufficient sexual tension in any platonic relationship is the fear of loss... or jealousy. The third, and by no means the last, is when both parties have an understanding that either or both are experiencing difficulties in their respective relationships. Then the accidental chance encounter does not count. I can try to explain this using female psychological reasoning, but I don't want to confuse guys. Instead, we can manufacture these 3 circumstances to our advantage.

If you are reading this, I assume you are adult enough to assume responsibility for your own actions... both emotionally, psychologically, socially, and karmically (if you choose to believe it). The first one is easy, go on vacation with girls, things will happen. This can be shortened to taking girls from place to place, away from her peer group as soon as possible. The second one is exploited when guys initially approach girls, from body rocking to false-time constraint, and this can be constructed in such a way that the girl knows that the guy is just in town, or about to leave town. Finally, in my opinion, the most devious of them all, is that even when the girl knows for certain that the guy is still in a relationship, as long as he frames his relationship being on the rocks, not doing so well, and if he can build up enough sexual tension, which I will discuss in the future, the girl will hook up with him. What makes this the best is that there is an implicit understanding that this has to be a no-string-attached encounter and both parties have to be complicit in upholding their mutual vow of silence.

This, my friend, is how so many guys and girls cheat, live AND get away with it. Just because it is doesn't mean it's right, so set aside your judgment. Give this quote by Sir Francis Bacon some thoughts,

Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.

This video destroyed the fond memory of my childhood.

How to get better at (almost) anything

Sure, we all know the typical mantras: work hard, learn the skills, practice,... But until we are tested, we don't know our strengths, weaknesses, and our level of skills. One essential ingredient is to surround oneself with smart people, people who are better than us, not just in terms of mentorship, but also to challenge us in ways that will improve ourselves.

When people get together, there inevitably will be politics, which is just part of the life of a social creature. Those who shrink from interacting with people will lead a very boring mundane life. In order to be successful, not only do we must surround ourselves with people who succeed, but friends / colleagues who will challenge us, who expect more from us, and in turn, we all improve by helping each other.

People often surround themselves with those who agree with them, especially those in leadership roles, they have their groupies of yes-men. Eventually, they will lose touch with reality, because they don't have to face the daily grind that helps others improve. In order to be play those political games well, we have to be smooth, like pebbles. Where do we find those? Among other pebbles, usually immersed within a body of water that jostles and grinds rocks together. So don't be among the lonely jagged rock, be among pebbles.