What would I tell the younger version of me?

Thanks to "Michael," in his comment, he makes me ask myself, would I have gone through the same journey? I think I would have, and the only changes I make would be the focus and goals. Rather than having one-night-stand as the goal, pulling strippers off their poles, etc., we should focus not just on the fundamentals, but rather, on being normal socially well-adjusted human beings. By that, I am referring to being a (for a lack of a better term) charismatic person that people would look to for leadership, guidance, fun & social activities.

To this very day, I still see some community guys I know... their goals are to get girls, and guess what, they do get some actions now and then, mostly from the bottom of the barrel left overs that you wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Sure, they focus on the process a lot, "Oh, I'm getting IOI's. I'm doing this and getting that." In the end, who really gives a shit? The community term for this is validation seeking. They are trying to fill some void in themselves or worst yet, trying to cover for some character flaws they have.

Why do I have such an obsession about community guys being gay and creepy? Am I projecting? Do I have these self-loathing fears because I have some of those characteristics within me? I wish I have such an insight on myself to post a great psychoanalysis. But this came by ways of what other told me. After numerous occasions, where strangers would pull me aside and asked me why my "friends" were so weird, they were creeping girls out, and/or they seemed gay, then I realize that those community people that I have surrounded myself with were abnormal. Now, I could have bought into the societal programming and peer pressure. Then I started comparing what I was doing versus those mystical beings that community dudes like to worship, "the naturals." I had friends who were good with women, and they were nothing like community guys, in fact, hanging out with community guys caused me to deviate further away from normal and acceptable social norms.

I can lie and blog about some silly ideas I have, but sadly, I'm not such a creative writer, so I write what I know and have experienced. As to how I would change in terms of focus, rather than trying to get girls, be the happy, fun, social, charismatic guy. Stop wasting time on trying to get anything from people, I don't have to try so hard to be something in order get stuff from people, rather, my goal is to be fulfilled by myself, going out should be about being among people, not to game, but to mingle.

The act of gaming girls is very much like masturbation; yes, the latter subject I know quite well! They game girls thinking that they will get sex; this is similar to the act of masturbation is really just our way of tricking our brain into thinking we are having sex. So instead of living in this delusional world of doing this and acting that to get girls, we should be social, cool, calm, collected, playful, fun, happy guys. This might be new to many community newbies, as I had a suspicion but I wasn't sure because it didn't make sense until I read community materials, kissing girls isn't a big deal, they want sex just as much if not more as guys. Instead of always be closing, which usually end up closing the door on potential friendships and more often than not, sexual relationships. This is the very reason why many community guys do not have many friends, not just friends with girls, but not a whole lot of guy friends, and not just guy friends to party with, but friends who they trust and rely on.

This is why I would direct my focus on (the derogatory term) self-improvement (i.e. improving by myself, for myself, not just relying on coaches) and surrounding myself with friends, or in community terms, aligning myself with high-value people, by people, I'm talking about both men and women. The newbie mission should not be about learning and delivering canned routines, it should be about socializing with people, not just in telling stories and trying to elicit responses from people. Rather, take the time, even a long time if necessary, to become a social human being.

I will blog about how to be social and sexual, that's something I don't have a complete grasp yet. There is no shortcut, taking workshops / bootcamps doesn't magically transform people, I know countless community chodes who are workshop- / bootcamp-aholic and they are still the same as before. Or countless guys who got refund because they didn't get anything out of their coaches. This is all a step-wise self-improvement process. It takes hard work and the balls to take on challenges.