Cultivating a core group of friends
After all my bashings of the community, 2007 has been my turning point, away from the community and rejoin the normal humanity. Instead of amassing, reading, watching, listening to more community bullshit, then get on "seduction forums" to mentally masturbate with other keyboard jockeys, I went on an almost weekly diatribe about the evil of these forums and most of their participants, which inevitably drove most of these losers out of my life.
My view is still the same, some of the materials are good, but only from well known established guys, the rest is just copycat. Most participants in seduction forums are losers, the longer they are on them, the more likely they are failures, not just in getting girls, but in life. The best way to learn is still to go out alone, befriend people, cultivate a core group of friends, not just to go out and pick up girls, but people who are reliable, trustworthy, social, fun, you know the term that "AFCs" called, "friends."
I didn't realize how far I have steered off the normal path by community losers until girls asked me why was I surrounded by creepy, socially awkward losers. Then I re-examined my relationships with these losers, and there is definitely something off about them. They simply don't know how to maintain friendship. They are so obsessed with pursuing fame and/or fortune by cannibalizing each others. Sure, there is still friction with friends, but we have fun together, we rely on each other, we help each other, many of these social skills that these losers don't have. Sadly, no amount of workshops, newbie missions, bootcamps, wings, forums, and whatever else will instill in them a sense of humanity.
The blatant marketing ploys of selling more materials and workshops continue, but there is a trend toward cooperation between these vultures. Guys who aren't so good would "DHV" each other by vouching for each other. They also talk about the higher purpose of helping men, improving lives of many. I have no doubt that a few men have benefited, the rest just serves as another revenue stream for these hustlers.
Ultimately, this year has been a year of self-discovery. I discovered who and what I am. I have yet to realize my full potential, but I know some pitfalls, who and what to avoid, the best way to succeed is not just about consuming more materials, but rather, to do/act without much forethought, don't worry about failures, don't bother to scheme and plan ways to get people. I should, instead, lead a life that enriches myself and others. This means that I'm not trying to "get sex" or take something away from people. Or in community lingo, bringing value to any interaction. Sex is a by-product of a successful life, not as a panacea for failing to live.
And living is worthwhile if one's life is shared with friends. The constant cycle of pump and dump one girl after another is a reflection of one's lack of character, lack of a "life." If our lives are to be meaningful, we have friends to be on this journey.
With that, I might return in 2008, or not... who knows?!
5 comments:
Sadly, no amount of workshops, newbie missions, bootcamps, wings, forums, and whatever else will instill in them a sense of humanity.
I think that the lack of genuine humanity in the community is a function of their objective. Anyone trying to get laid with girls has to cultivate a charismatic, socially dominant, confident, humorous, fun personality.
Now, what does this have to do with the purpose of life? With making the world a better place? With genuinely caring about people?
Not much. Don't criticize the community. It is all ultimately evolution's fault. Men want to get laid. Women want socially dominant men (selfish gene theory). Becoming socially dominant in no ways means that a person is more in touch with a deeper level of humanity.
Things like this make it painfully obvious that regardless of what the community does to men, women's attraction mechanisms are so out of whack with what a true human being is that success with the opposite sex is a tiny speck of what the true meaning of life is. Social Robots are a symptom, not the underlying cause, of world problems.
Found this blog not long ago...
and while I dont agree with everything 100%, your view points are refreshing to say the least. Not only that but a few of your articles helped shape recent decisions in my life.
Its unfortunate more people who read your blog don't grasp what you're trying to communicate.
Rock on bro
-Dream
ps-if its cool with you Id like to link your blog from mine (www.thedreamlounge.blogspot.com)
Sure, Dream. Thank you all for reading... and look me up if you are spending NYE in Vegas.
Really nice blog. I agree with everything you say about the community creeps, assumed I was the only one out there. Where it did help me - abolishing some really silly ideas about women and being nice, but apart from that, it really screwed me up. I did the same as you and just made a normal life for myself. Keep this up, too bad more people don't read it from the community.
Hey! I just discovered your blog and agree with almost everything on it. I'm quitting the community and it is nice to see someone who has had similar experiences. Overall, I like a lot of what the community has to offer, and if you're lucky, you can meet some good guys who are game for going out and open to talking to new women. That said, it's just tiresome to deal with most of the guys in the scene. Here are extracts from some emails I wrote to a friend who is successful with women, had never heard about the community, and who I had suggested start a coaching company.
"The main problem most guys in the community have is not that they're bad with women, it's they don't have a fucking clue how to relate to guys. They may come off as gay, they may be flakey with guys, they don't know how to stand up to other guys, or tease them in a friendly way. If they were better with guys, they'd be friends with guys who are good with women and meet women that way. Also these guys may be normal looking but they could have very little going for them as in poor fashion sense, no ability to communicate with women, etc."
"Anyway, I feel kind of emotionally exhausted from dealing with the guys in the community. ... there's something not quite right about the guys. They really don't know how to deal with guys. They can be moody and flakey and don't know how to compromise to maintain friendships. I think I've realized that one of the biggest things wrong with them is that they're deeply uncomfortable about being alone. Which means, for instance, that they'll get caught up interacting with other guys who have no chance of meeting girls because they don't want to set off by themselves. This explains why they spent their formative years playing D&D and their college years hanging out with guys in their major. The community may even keep a lot of guys form meeting girls. ... So in your coaching, you may want to explain to guys that a lot of people are alone a lot of the time. You could also teach them to structure their life so that even though they're by themselves, they'll maximize their chances of meeting people. You could also show them fun things to check out by themselves..."
"The other thing is that guys in the community don't know how to interact with guys who are better than them with women. Instead of thinking that there's something that a better person is doing right and something that they are doing wrong, they either get jealous or they idolize the other person. I'm probably one of the better people here, but I'm not mind-blowingly amazing... I do better than a lot of the guys because I know how to shut up and listen, because I make sure that when I do talk, what I say is interesting, and because I don't have this ridiculous glad-handing party-guy persona which isn't totally at odds with the rest of personality. A lot of the guys in the community have that because they're afraid of showing that they're lonely."
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