Being ballsy

Approach anxiety is talked and discussed for ad nauseam. Guys need to have balls and just do it. There's the Mystery's 3-second rule, and whatever else. Once I started approaching, I learned what I needed to improve. I lost quite a few girls recently because I expressed my interest too late.

I see the whole pick-up process is like a speeding train, it takes momentum from both parties (on both sides) to keep the process on track. If it's entirely one sided either way, the train will stall. However, if the train is accelerating too fast, it will inevitably derail. One problem I discovered I had was that I was not ballsy as soon as the interaction goes well; which means I was not expressing my interest to her. Girls will inevitably get turned off by too much attraction; some like to call that overgaming, I call that over-terminology! Girls like guys who are ballsy enough to show his interest. Juggler calls that SOI and follow up with false sexual barriers. Sinn calls it sexual IOI. Captain Jack calls it Sexual Framing. Same shit, splattered on the wall in different ways.

From my perspective, I recently had the (un)fortunate opportunity to hang out with a community guy. I thought, after 6 months, I'm sure he must have improved considering how he has been hosting lair meetings, and being "leader of men." Well, I was rather disappointed. It wasn't him as much as what he did. All night long, he didn't talk to one girl, but squandered his energy on negging me, bantering, being cocky & funny (yeah, David D is a douchebag for keep emphasizing C&F without being human), but not at all funny. I told him up front that unless he was trying to elicit attraction from me, doing that stupid shit to other guys is simply stupid. There is a time and place... for being the funny and interesting guy. At some point, guys need to put his intention on the table, stick his neck out, and be ready to face rejection.

That's what those new posts in other blogs have been about... Guys have to continue to lead confidently, be able to weather shit tests, and be ready to face rejections. In the process, guys will discover that talking dirty isn't bad, girls will get all worked up when they know they have the same effect on guys. Guys get turned on by naked girls; well, girls get turned on by guys as well, especially if guys are turned on because of girls themselves. It's a positive feed forward loop. So go out there, as long as the girl is talking to you, she's interested, no need to look for more IOI, state your intention up front, girls don't want guys to beat around the bush, as most girls don't have any bush nowadays. Yes, when I was your age, girls were trimmed at best and only porn stars shaved; once you grow up, you can tell younger guys that when I was your age, girls didn't do anal. I'm saving that for another blog entry.

Back to basics: finding the balance

Two weeks after that show on cable-TV, I decided to go back and run canned community routines to see if anyone is catching on. The good and bad news are, no one has caught me yet!

I can't say that I don't have any approach anxiety, but I contain mine so well that I come across as robotic. If I have to guess, I would say girls want to sense some genuine nervousness, not some asshole who is out there to mind fuck them, i.e. running materials without feelings. Being a good actor is very important in running routines, because after awhile, I can spit out routines without emoting, girls want someone who is both confident, with control, and also, with emotions. I'm at a point where I don't really care about their reaction, which is different than being unreactive. The latter is important, whereas the former has gone too far.

In any case, I'm back to going out to have fun again. Juggling girls is wearing me out! I need more dramas in my life.

A lifestyle choice

For those who are devoted readers of this blog, I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Life has been busy; there seems to be a synergy between the three pillars of life: health, wealth, and relationships.

Learning "pickup techniques" has made me more friendly, I can relate with people, and consequently, being social animals that we are, I have met some wonderful people, made new friends, and in the process, gained so much more joy being human again. Although I have very little hesitation in expressing my opinions in the past, I feel so much more liberated now that I can quickly connect with people and be part of the group.

Even a simple task of getting a rental car, the guy gave me free upgrade because I was friendly with him. Another incidence was that we were stranded up on a mountain at night, because I befriended a few other tourists from Europe, who barely spoke any English, we were able to make our way back down together, 1.5 hours later. Had I been timid and shy, like I was before, and with just my girl, I don't think I would be typing up this blog in the comfort of my home, nearly 48 hours later.

Then a few weeks ago, another headhunter contacted me regarding some possible employment opportunities, with a few phone calls, and being able to be the likable person, I think I have a new job lined up. I will decide whether I will jump ship once I get to know the people there.

As trite as this might sound, be yourself is a great advice. I was not myself until recently; deep down, there was a fun, friendly, social guy, because of fears and other insecurities, my true self was locked up. Let go of expectations, let go of fears, find out what make yourself tick, be the person you want, lead and others will follow.

Seduction forums are cesspools of KJ's

If you don't have friends who are already picking up girls, then perhaps you have joined your local lair and a few other online seduction forums. I did. I met some good people, most I can do without, they are either not doing anything with pickup and/or their miserable lives or are too busy trying to get guys, either for money, fame, or probably sex.

Guys, who are getting girls, are too busy to go on forum to read and/or post. Unless they are attention whores like me, why would anyone waste time giving advice to other guys who are spending more time on keyboards or playing with their own or each other's cocks. If you must read forum, filter for guys who have shown competence, you know those guys... the top tier dudes, they are usually well-known instructors. You can read all their posts quite quickly because they don't post much, they are too busy gaming and being with girls.

Peace!

Key words/phrases for relating to girls

This blog entry is mostly a reference for myself. I will use these words more often in my conversation with women. Please don't try to figure them out if you are a guy, they hold no meaning, but to women, they open up a flood gate of emotions that I wouldn't know where to begin to explain them.

• balance
• being
• centeredness
• connection
• communication
• curiosity
• depth
• desire
• discovery
• energy
• excitement
• fascination
• freedom
• fulfillment
• growth
• intensity
• knowing
• love
• learning
• meant-to-be
• passion
• peace
• realization
• recognition
• relationship
• serenity
• special
• stillness
• surrender
• tranquility
• transcendence
• trust
• understanding
• wonder
• yearning

Sprinkle them into my conversation with women about emotions and experiences. These words some how allow women to fill in the blank and add a whole new dimension to our conversation!

DTR: Define the relationship

How does one respond to... "What are we?" What do you say?

The best answer I got from a girl was, "It is what it is, we should enjoy the moment." Submit yours!

Of course, I will post mine... one I came up on the spot.

Minor annoyances

So I have fun when I'm out and about... This inevitably leads to people (and sadly, mostly guys) wanting to hang out with me the week after. Being the recluse that I am, I can certainly have more friends. But why? Why can't I go out and pick up girls in peace? There are some long term friends who I've been out with many times, learning "the game" together and I always make time for them, even if I have to cancel out date with girls; I know, sounds kind of gay.

Friends who know what's up are fun to go out on weekends, because after all, Thursday-Saturday nights are for getting girls, and the rest of the week, Sunday through Wednesday nights are for babysitting girls. The problem arises when girls bring along their orbiters; then I end up having to babysit them too. If I were bi, or at least, remotely gay, then I don't mind. In the cost-benefit analysis, what do I get out of babysitting orbiters? Should I continue tool them, pawn them off to cockblocks?!

Another annoyance is how to do I deal with girls who constantly trying to escalate and bait for commitment after we had sex. Sex is just something people who are attracted to and comfortable with each other do for fun. That's one good thing about party girls, we get together, and we move on, catch and release, almost like sport fishing. "Hook, bait, reel, and release." (Credit: Mystery)

Back to work, so I can pay bills... Girls are a time consuming and expensive, but also a very rewarding hobby.