Being ballsy

Approach anxiety is talked and discussed for ad nauseam. Guys need to have balls and just do it. There's the Mystery's 3-second rule, and whatever else. Once I started approaching, I learned what I needed to improve. I lost quite a few girls recently because I expressed my interest too late.

I see the whole pick-up process is like a speeding train, it takes momentum from both parties (on both sides) to keep the process on track. If it's entirely one sided either way, the train will stall. However, if the train is accelerating too fast, it will inevitably derail. One problem I discovered I had was that I was not ballsy as soon as the interaction goes well; which means I was not expressing my interest to her. Girls will inevitably get turned off by too much attraction; some like to call that overgaming, I call that over-terminology! Girls like guys who are ballsy enough to show his interest. Juggler calls that SOI and follow up with false sexual barriers. Sinn calls it sexual IOI. Captain Jack calls it Sexual Framing. Same shit, splattered on the wall in different ways.

From my perspective, I recently had the (un)fortunate opportunity to hang out with a community guy. I thought, after 6 months, I'm sure he must have improved considering how he has been hosting lair meetings, and being "leader of men." Well, I was rather disappointed. It wasn't him as much as what he did. All night long, he didn't talk to one girl, but squandered his energy on negging me, bantering, being cocky & funny (yeah, David D is a douchebag for keep emphasizing C&F without being human), but not at all funny. I told him up front that unless he was trying to elicit attraction from me, doing that stupid shit to other guys is simply stupid. There is a time and place... for being the funny and interesting guy. At some point, guys need to put his intention on the table, stick his neck out, and be ready to face rejection.

That's what those new posts in other blogs have been about... Guys have to continue to lead confidently, be able to weather shit tests, and be ready to face rejections. In the process, guys will discover that talking dirty isn't bad, girls will get all worked up when they know they have the same effect on guys. Guys get turned on by naked girls; well, girls get turned on by guys as well, especially if guys are turned on because of girls themselves. It's a positive feed forward loop. So go out there, as long as the girl is talking to you, she's interested, no need to look for more IOI, state your intention up front, girls don't want guys to beat around the bush, as most girls don't have any bush nowadays. Yes, when I was your age, girls were trimmed at best and only porn stars shaved; once you grow up, you can tell younger guys that when I was your age, girls didn't do anal. I'm saving that for another blog entry.