There isn't just one best solution to life and love

I get so many hits on this blog from people searching for the solution to life's problems, the one-best-way to get a girl / guy, the ideal relationship, the perfect life,... The reality is that there is no one best "whatever" to find love or conduct one's life.

Marketeers would like us to believe that they have the secret, the method of getting the girl or boy, the blueprint to social dynamics, the foundation for transformation, the revelation that shows us the way, the steps to get there, and lest we forget, the Jedi Knight's method that will annihilate everything out there. First, they create a problem where there is none. Second, they blame us for not being good enough. Finally, they offer us a way out. This is the basis of advertising, especially in the self-improvement market, and pickup or seduction in particular.

If you haven't tried this, observe how people move, how they walk, how they breathe, and how they conduct their lives. There are as many ways to live as the number of people. But in trying to go mainstream, marketeers would foist upon us their methods, techniques, lines, and impose their frames on how life should be. Don't get me wrong, there are some useful overarching principles, but the rest, I'm sure a reasonably intelligent person can manage to figure it out on his/her own. Just as we don't need to a coach to teach us how to breathe and walk, I'm quite sure we don't need a coach to teach us how to live and love. These are biologically instinctual behaviors, unlike learning the math for building a rocket, or techniques for neurosurgeries.

The major side-effect of these methods and techniques is to make people think that there's the one proper, true, best way of finding and having a relationship. So instead of following their own instinct, people go consult these leeches on society, or as they prefer to call themselves, dating or life coaches. Instead, people must give themselves the permission to fail. It's ok to make a mistake, as long as we learn from it.

Only idiots would go and repeatedly fail at the same task over and over again, which is exactly what many veterans and old guards in the community do. Even more insidiously destructive in what they do is that they pass on their bad behaviors to newbies, after what I've been through, I recommend newbies to learn materials on their own, go out, try stuff out and it's ok to fail. If we are strong enough, smart enough, and tenacious enough, we will learn, grow, improve, and be successful.

If we were to examine many of these "coaches" carefully, what would they be doing if they aren't coaching? Nothing. Most of these guys have no career because they are too lazy, too stupid, constantly trying to find an easy way out of life. In their feeble minds, they think they can come up with some break through ideas to hustle people instead of doing what every hard working person does, have a real job, be productive, contributing to instead of leeching off society.