It just happens

This NYTimes article made me smile yesterday. The problem with people is that they take life WAY TOO SERIOUSLY!

I often wondered what drives people to pursue their passions, be that in music, in getting girls, or in blogging. For me, I started this because I felt the need to write and to do a brain dump once in awhile, but then I found it to be quite therapeutic! For some amateur musicians, they are playing music or singing because that's what they love to do, regardless of any possible financial reward. People should do what is satisfying to themselves because that activity has intrinsic value, not because they have an agenda to get some extrinsic reward. If musicians do what they do because they want money, we will simply have more boy bands of the late-90's and more shitty music. Of course, they didn't last very long either.

There's something to be said about people doing things because it's fun for them. Same can be said about being with people, and girls in particular. I've seen day in and day out, guys going out gaming with the explicit goal of taking girls home, and despite how this is depicted in many blogs, reports, and whatever else, most if not all of them almost always go home empty-handed. But then I see guys who go out to have fun, they might get girls or they might not, those are the guys who don't base their own happiness on girls, and in many ways, they don't change just to get girls. Guess what? Those are the happiest people you see around.

Another is that we should let things progress naturally and allow them to grow organically. Musicians who do their art because they love it, because it's their passion, and those guys, most of the time, usually not get that million dollar contract but they go home happy, just for the simple fact that they have played their music and there may or may not be people there to enjoy it. Same can be said about blogging, if you do a simple search, there are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of websites that talk about how to get rich by blogging, and I'm willing to bet that almost all of those "bloggers" end up with ulcers and poor, even if they choose to beg, like that lame wannabe-dating-coach who once flamed me on his blog. People should blog because that's they have this inherent need to write, and if what they have written is funny, entertaining, and there might be a sliver of truth or insight, people will continue to read it. It's not a big mystery.

Ah, but what about those dating coaches? Or even life coaches? The secret is that they aren't that successful at all, that's why they need to build a pyramid scheme, so that they can feed on the later participants who are dumb enough to support them. In some ways, their success lies not in living their own lives or having girls in their lives, but they are better at creating the illusion that they have what they claim. Of course, when I talk about the probability of success vs. the possibility of success, people will bitch and complain about how negative I am and how this blog has taken a downturn or whatever, as if that hasn't been my message all along.

If the unconventional routes to success are so easy to achieve, be that all-star basketball player, be that blogger who makes millions, be that musician who signs those mega-360-contracts,... there are thousands if not millions who are languishing or have given up. The reason they are unconventional and not common is that they are more like exceptions that prove the rule. The simple fact is that conventional route to success is common because most people can be successful this way. Take education for example, it's a proven fact that those who went to good colleges, got good grades, usually will end up with good jobs and that pay reasonably well. Oh, you say, what about Bill Gates, my response is, how many Bill Gates are out there?! And if you don't believe the cliche that the best way to get rich is by inheriting it, look up Bill Gates' father, or may be Donald Trump's. Sadly, Cinderella story is just a fairy tale for kids, rags to riches stories are miracles. You know what isn't a miracle, giving birth, graduating from college, working at simple but boring jobs that pay the bill!

For people who wonder if blogging will make them rich, and I can't claim I have that many readers on my blog, but I'm willing to bet that I've made more money from this than many who tried. And guess what, I have more cash in my wallet than money I've earned from blogging! So whatever you do, do NOT do it for money, do NOT do it to get external validation, but do it for love, do it for fun, do it with passion! And in time, it just happens that you may be one of those miracles.