Why stay away from community creeps?

For many lonely lovable losers, myself included, community seemed to be a way out. I thought I found the road to salvation, pulling and !closing HB9+ on a weekly basis. Unlike many in the community, without a career or hating their jobs, I like mine and wouldn't give it up for, hold on, just wait, get this, becoming a dating coach! The reality is quite different.

Let me recount some embarrassing stories while I was in "the community." Sorry, there were absolutely no spectacular pulls, no lays, no girls, nothing until I left "the community." Oh, stories... I was out the first time with a self-proclaimed top 10 PUA in the local community. He was walking around the club ALL NIGHT LONG with a sign "The S***** Lair" on his back. I thought it was a deliberate sign for other newbies to go meet up with him. As it turned out, he told girls that he's a Pickup Artist from THE LAIR, of course, one girl made a sign, taped on his back, tooled him, and allowed him to walk around like that. He couldn't even handle some light teasing from this girl later on that night. Did I mention he also told us that he was dating a stripper at the time? And guess where we found girls that he "dated," those girls are regular posters on Craig's List casual encounters.

Another community guy, I was doing the Mystery Newbie Mission with him. Now, this guy (at that time) already took 3 workshops / bootcamps (that he admitted to); he was into his 2nd or 3rd year within the community... and he was doing the Newbie Mission for the Nth time. I was stupid enough to think that it could change me. In the process, I met some normal people, they pulled me aside and asked me why I was hanging out with a weirdo, and countless times, girls would ask me if I'm gay (by association). Recently, I accidentally socialized with his former co-workers. They recounted stories of how anti-social he was at work while he (on the other hand) bitched about his shitty work conditions, and after they found out that I knew him, guess what they asked me, that's right, "Is [he] gay?" And yes, he's still trolling our local forum for newbies... to be, yes, his "wings."

Another self-proclaimed guru of the local community, he even formed his own exclusive fight club, created a pickup company, corralled together a few guys and even taught a few bootcamps. His students, to this day, are still haunting the same clubs/bars without any demonstrable results. His former partners abandoned him, he has since tucked tail and moved away (or so people told me). When I mocked him in our forum, his friend called him out, and so did many others who talked about him behind his back, he sent his minions to AMOG me! Where is he now? Where are his girls now? Where has he gone now?

If you think this is a phenomenon among the local community guys, a well-known pickup company came to town to teach a bootcamp and of course, the local lair president who is an aspiring dating coach (another addict to workshops & bootcamps) got to represent and assisted in coaching. Guess what happened, more than half of those students asked for refund. It would be easy to dismiss that, oh, this is a local city thing, as it turns out, I've talked with other guys, they have taken workshops at other cities, they too have asked for refunds. By the way, there's this silly post I made on here, apparently, it got to him so much, that whenever he comes to read this blog, he would read that entry. Again, so much for having experience, being alpha, authentic, leader of men, and whatever else.

There are more embarrassingly funny stories. When did I finally improve? When I stopped hanging out with these community social retards, all I did was that I went out by myself for 2-3 weeks. I made new friends, they invite me to events, we plan events together, and because I swallowed the red pill and unplugged from the community. I think there's more to learn from the community, but I would limit myself to the well known "gurus" and their "teachings"; but definitely NOT from "community guys." I will blog about what works and what doesn't based solely on my own experience.

Beautiful simplicity

Thank you for your emails about how my life is without the community, I'm doing great not hanging out with community guys. Sure, I don't open as many sets and I don't get that many spectacular blow outs, repetitive rejections, or creeping girls out. I am so much happier, I have friends who are fun, living exciting lives, and socially well-adjusted. Funny enough, I also have plenty of female friends who come out to party not to "sarge." When we are out, we play pranks on each other... Other girls get involved, we don't need to run game because girls actually open us wondering what's going on. Unlike the countless community guys standing around observing us, as Mystery said, be the observed... not the observer.

The best part of being socially connected is that I get invitations to parties, events, and other activities without having to pay. No cover, no ticket to buy, and girls are so friendly without the awkward exchange of contact info. Better yet, there are no eager, horny, needy, and creepy community guys trying to come in. Being in a relatively small (big) city, girls told me countless stories about how many community guys failed to get them. This is usually after sex, when I debrief them and they ask me how I know those so-and-so weirdos. The sad truth is that most self-proclaimed PUAs (and community guys in general) don't get laid. And girls they have full montied are fat, culturally inept, mentally handicapped, have faces only their mothers would love, or any combination of above.

The better solution is to get out of the cesspool of social retards that many called the community, befriend with normal people, go out and be social. You will find your life much more rewarding without dealing with the general neediness of guys, you might even discover humor, something that would make people laugh their guts out without even faking a smile. Best of all, you won't be tempted by those gay gurus trying to get into your ass and your wallet at the same time. It's so great when people are up front with their intentions and we don't need each other for anything... we just be with each other because we are fun.

Unplugged from the community

The community is the matrix. Many in the community talk about society as the matrix and how joining the community is their moment of taking the red pill. The reality is that the community itself is the matrix, not the other way around. The matrix is powered by the hopes, dreams, and fantasies of these lovable losers. The best thing anyone in the community can do for himself is to leave the community once he has gotten the approach anxiety under control.

I've been discussing with friends about who get results, as in having sex regularly like normal people, the list of those in the community is short, quite short. In fact, I have a suspicion, the next scandal that will bust open this community will be similar to what happened to the Catholic Church in the last decade, that most guys in the community are closet gays. How any guy can develop the fear of girls is beyond me... Didn't we used to play with girls on the playground when we were kids? Didn't we grow up with friends, both guys and girls? Don't we live with and work with girls? How guys become such worshipers of women, I don't get it. I seriously didn't bother to rank girls on a 1-10 scale until I joined the community. Before, I had a very simple criteria, she's either fuckable because I'm attracted to her or she isn't; instead, guys in the community set up these artificial barriers so that they can measure, compare, compete with each other. Are they really that hard up for validation from each other, loveable losers?

Slowly but surely, I have gotten to know many guys in the community, I discovered how miserable they really are. They bitch and whine, but never take action to change their lives. They are obsessed with competing with each other, not in terms of actually getting girls, but more for attention from guys. Worst yet are those delusional enough to think that they can make money teaching people, to change lives of others, when they haven't done anything to improve their own. Of course, in order for them to maintain their reputations, they would embellish and even write up fake reports in order to garner attention (and again) from guys. They are more interested in dating, uh, sarging with each other than hanging out with girls! I mean, really, what are we in this for... more men or women?

At this point, I realized that I was better off going out alone, meeting people and befriending normal people. That's when I rediscover what the real society is like. There's no point in running game. I simply gave up gaming people. People started to invite me part of their groups, because I don't want anything from them, their attention, their approval, their attraction/IOI, their girls, etc, instead, I bring value, I am fun and social and connected. I'm also not so hard up about sex because it comes naturally whenever and wherever, without running awkward gambits. Yes, community routines work and I have fun running them, but in order to run them successfully, we simply can't be such try-hards.

For those who are still in the community after all these years and for those who obviously have no game, but are still trying to pretend to be dating coaches. Good luck! Because many people are wising up to their tactics in seducing guys. There will be more products, more techniques, more methods, more coaches, what we need is what we already have. The only way to get good is to have experience, and experience comes by going out, interacting with people, don't care about results, if and when something happens, great... otherwise, it's another fun night out with friends. You do have "friends" not just another newbie guy you met off the lair?!

Productivity

Laziness is a great virtue and I try my best to work as little as possible. Take the mouse for example, I think it's one of many productivity killers, and touchpad isn't far behind. Why? Because for a touch typist like myself, I have to lift my hand, grasp around for the mouse, move the pointer to the desired location, and then move back to my keyboard. The more efficient way is to keep my dominant/mouse hand on the keyboard and trackpoint is the most efficient way of moving the pointer around. My recent compromise on desktop computers is to use my trackball, then I know exactly where my pointer moving widget is without looking for it; the additional benefit is that a trackball doesn't take up the same amount of space as a mouse with its mousepad.

Along the same line, I use gmail and greasemonkey together, and I found gmail macros; it lets me navigate and perform various tasks inside gmail without using my mouse. I was just complaining to a friend of mine today after gmail upgraded to the new version.

It's just sooooo hard, you know, I want to quit my "miserable" job and do my 4-hour work week, be a dating coach every other weekend. Can someone make me dinner? Don't forget to pick up my dry cleaning too! While you are at it, bring a few girls home... so, you know, I don't have to go out and talk to girls. Living is so difficult! HA!

Living the life

The compelling and captivating life that girls want to participate. Awhile back, I blogged about the reason that most guys failed to connect with strangers is not having a strong identity, and the ability to convey that as soon as possible to a stranger. Part of the character building process is through socialization... How to live a life that naturally draws in girls... How to get girls to see us again? How do we surround ourselves with happy, positive, fun, and social people?

The foundation of being a man is self-sufficiency, someone who can go out alone, befriend strangers and make new friends. This will take time, it will require courage, especially among guys within the community. The red pill these guys took to unplug from the matrix; they ended up inside a cramp, claustrophobic, rat-infested, of a vessel called the lair that is filled with money/power/fame-hungry societal rejects. The popular chorus among community guys, at least here, is that how this place sucks and they are moving away... the thing is, this false time constraint stopped working after they have been repeating it for over 1 year, and another thing, why bother to flip this attraction switch among guys? Unless these guys want to get with other guys.

When two strangers meet, all they have is being in the moment, what happened in the past is an unknown (so leave those baggages behind), and what will happen in the future has yet to be realized (so make an effort to create something better). Instead of being dissatisfied and malcontent, we are better off if we focus on the here and now. What can we do to make what and where we are better? Many of us improve by making incremental changes, not necessarily drastic changes or complain about our current condition, which will inevitably drive everyone away. Now that we covered what not to do... what can we do to cultivate a life that's inviting for new friends and being the hub for existing friends?

We must have a positive and healthy attitude about life and about each other. We must bring value to any interaction, any type of relationship; by that, everyone wants to be part of something, (why do you think lairs are so attractive for societal rejects?) so find out what is available locally, keep up with local events, call up friends (you do have social friends that you don't sarge with, I hope?), and go hang out and chill. In the process, make new friends and gradually connect people with each other, coordinate events/parties with each other, and naturally, people will contribute and invite us to even more events.

That's the gist of playing the social circle game. Don't be the crazed banter monkey, the weird opinion-seeking guy, the I-statement & open-ended questions weirdo, or the contrived false leader of men (like being a lame "lair president"). Be normal, be boring, be fun, be unpredictable, be social, and be in the moment.

Heroes

Heroes. Have you seen this tv show? What is with our obsession that we, as individuals, are somehow that special? That we are endowed with some secret superpowers. This reminds me of some individuals, especially among those in the community, that they think they have the secret, cracked the code, divorced from the matrix, and can manipulate/hustle other people.

That's one thing people in cults believe... and same with those in the secret society of the community. A friend just sent this article about "Ways the community can make you weird." What a well thought-out, balanced article! The one thing that article failed to address is what I have been harping, the overselling of simple ideas that most people already know, and guys are busy seducing each other instead of girls.

What a blast!

This Halloween probably aged me several years! Damn, too much partying and I'm not sure I can handle the 3rd round of parties this weekend. Being here during the winter months can be depressing, and surprisingly, I am walking around with a smile all morning even though I'm dead tired. I can't imagine what I'd be like if I had more booze.

I was going to post something about starting my 99 lonely nights of winter. But I just can't, that would be lying when I am surrounded by so many happy people, going to parties without any community guys,... Ah, life is good!

Keep up the good work, guys! I'm going to take a break and give this a go in a few weeks (again and again)!

Are you kidding me? This is my only way of getting some more attention from guys... gay guys! I wouldn't give up blogging about social retards so easily.