Life of opportunities

With few exceptions, most of our lives are more like yachts than powerful speedboats; i.e., we are subjected to the weather and the conditions of the water. There are ways we can exert control over our lives such that we can create opportunities that we can exploit. A sail boat might be at the mercy of the wind, but that doesn't mean it can't travel against the wind, it's all about having the right sails and using them in the correct manner. So having good looks might help us get girls, but there are things we can do to create more opportunities of meeting girls. The surest way have money is by selecting the rich parents, and once again, there are ways we can still be rich and live a comfortable life. I didn't say the road to get there is easy, but there are steps we can take that even out the odds against us.

This blog post isn't going to cover everything, but I want to introduce some avenues for people to explore. Take something simple like meeting girls or even having more friends. The community guys mostly focus on cold approaches. Sure, we can meet new people that way... but it will rarely yield much if any result, unless those "PUAs" really lower their standards. This leads me to suggest people should try having more friends instead. That would mean stop running games and trying to fuck every girl within arm's reach. However, we can still be flirty, fun, and social with everyone; the guy who organizes parties, and that people call to hang out, instead of being the community guy who go on forum to look for wings.

But there is more to being the social hub, we have to have the financial support, which means we have to have jobs or careers that can afford the lifestyle we want. In order for us to do well at work, we have to be prepared and can get the job done, which depends on our ability to be at peace with ourselves so that we can be at ease in most situations. In spite of all the job postings, most employers still hire many of their employees from referrals or people they know, but most job seekers are still looking for jobs through ads! Same can be said about how guys and girls meet. That's why we all must have a network of friends in many different career tracks and at different stages of their lives.

I realize this seems very intuitive, but people who are so hell-bent on reaching their goals often neglect this aspect of their lives. We sometimes stop not just to smell the roses, but to see what other flowers are around. So the first skill to master in creating opportunities is not to look for opportunities, but to build a bigger social circle, to have more friends! I'll continue about befriending people, maintaining friendships, and having good friends around. The goal of having friends is, once again, NOT to look or opportunities, if they arise great, but having friends should be sufficient! Purge any idea you have of trying to exploit people, looking for ways to take advantage of people, this is why many hustlers fail, most guys who are out looking for sex by gaming girls rarely get any.

What am I wondering this Wednesday...

Have you noticed that when people are preoccupied with one particular topic of discussion because they are having problems, failing at it, and probably overly obsessing about it but would not do anything about it?

Take this example, older adults with constipation would talk about their bowel movements obsessively. But people who don't have that problem, taking a dump is a regular ritualistic part of their lives, they rarely ever talk about their regularity. So for guys who constantly talk about getting girls, I wonder if they are also not getting sex... with girls... so to them, it's almost as insurmountable as Mt. Everest to a blind and quadriplegic climber. Just something I wonder...

If you are wondering why I haven't posted lately, I am busy with work... things I do to pay bills. You know, this whole passive income isn't working out, and my bootcamp / workshop won't be ready for awhile. Actually, I've been surrounded with mostly normal, social, and intelligent people. Without douche bags like community guys in my life, I don't have much to complain about.

Don't worry though, I have made some insights about life in general. How to create a life of abundance and opportunities... the methodical, one-day-at-a-time, plan. Stay tuned!

It is what it is...

Some people have read this and wondered why am I not what I appear to be on here. I know there are quite a few people try to psychoanalyze me using my posts here... good luck in figuring me out! The closest analogy I can think of this blog is this...

You know, when you consume an excess amount of veggies, and if you are not regular, may be you take some fiber supplements. So you feel a bit gaseous and have this urge to just let loose. Well, this is what this blog is for me. This is my mental crapper. If you haven't tried colonic, I find blogging as a wonderful relief for the mental constipation that I sometimes feel. So you've been warned! Don't bother turning on the fan so that you can clear the air and get a glimpse of what's happening. Don't bother lighting candles to cover up that smell. On the one hand, the stench drives many away, but on the other, people are inherently curious to see what's up. So here you are.

Once in awhile, you might find a gem or two in my posts. It's like hunting for diamonds in a landfill. If you do find diamonds there, they probably are not the result of spontaneous localized pressure that created diamonds in situ, but someone accidentally discarded them. In other words, my ideas have probably been published elsewhere or that people don't realize that how valuable their ideas really are, at least for me! I don't expect people to get what I post right away or to even understand why I blog in the first place. I blog because I can.

MANY people use blogs as a marketing tool, which I do sometimes when I feel the urge to experiment or to mess with people. Some bloggers use this as a tool to seek validation or to prove something to someone out there in the ether. Some chronicle their lives online, some lie, some fabricate, some exaggerate, more bullshit as far as I'm concerned. There are some bloggers who use this medium to advocate for something. A few try to be helpful, which I did long ago and I think some of my ideas have taken hold or at least helped people kill time. I'm not egotistical enough to think that I can change the world, I just make the best of it.

In the end, I go for a good laugh. You probably won't find what I post here that funny or I would have became a professional comedian. This is also not a good place to keep a tab on me or to stalk me online, it's almost like looking at my shit to figure out what I ate. You better be a professional in forensic. And believe me, eating is not the only activity I do but it sure seems to be if you are a regular reader of my blog! I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, and if you ask people who truly know me, they will tell you that I... I'm just one among six billions. The world is a big & wondrous place with plenty of people.

My focus is rarely on the few winners, not that I want to or can be the champion for the underdog, I believe people should go for what works for many instead of buying into the marketing hype. I can appreciate the nuance and complexity within my reality. It is what it is... for me. Don't worry, I will go back to making fun of closeted gays in the community and delusional dumbfucks who buy into the whole self-improvement & passive income bullshit, I'm juvenile that way.

Valuing diversity

If you are reading this blog, you probably have wondered, why is this lunatic so negative? How does this fool even get up in the morning? How on earth does he manage to get anything done? Why is he so critical? Why can't he be more positive? Why doesn't he praise me more and tell me that I'm a good person and I'm worthy to be alive?! All because I am very special and unique, just like the rest of the 6 billion people on Earth!

Well, I'm not your mommy who coddled you. I don't want to be the daddy you wish you had. I sincerely believe that we have the possibility of doing anything and achieving whatever goals we set for ourselves. All I am pointing out is the realistic probability of accomplishing them. According to the laws of quantum mechanic and what we know of elementary particles, it's possible that we can walk through walls, but the probability of aligning particles just right for one particular person to walk through any one wall is infinitesimally small. Yet, dreamers continue to fantasize. There will always be another get-rich-quick scheme right around the corner. You can get your student loans paid off without having an income. There will be another Nigerian prince who needs to use your bank account to transfer money out of his country. In a few more months, someone will come up with yet another fool-proof method of getting girls. I would be very selfish if I don't tell you about my plan to have a massive passive income from blogging so that I can retire from my real job. And there will be a cure for cancer too!

There are couple of culprits for fueling this delusional thinking in people. The main cause being the feel-good self-esteem building humanist movement that started in the 1970's. This problem is especially prevalent among American kids who grew up in single-mother households; they are brought up to think they are kings and queens of the world without their fathers to rein in their childhood fantasies. Most of them think that they can be anything they want, all because their mothers told them so, but almost everyone of these kids is expecting constant praise to get anything done! So the end result is that we now have grown ups with the Peter Pan syndrome failing to live up their dreams and of course, they blame everyone else for their problems except themselves.

Well, life is tough and it's about time that someone comes along to smack some sense into this whole bullshit self-improvement I-can-be-anything movement. Truth is, I think this movement is a joke and I'm not the only person to see the whole absurdity of it all. This reminds me of a dear Jewish friend of mine who explained to me. According to him, had all Jews been positive and optimistic during World War II, while Hitler and his minions were gassing his people, none would have escaped and continued what's left of their culture. That, my dear readers, is why in difficult times, the genes of people who examine life realistically, critically, and to many, negatively, persist and thrive. In periods of prosperity, the delusional optimists will triumph without any doubt. But when shit hits the fan, just like when this whole housing bubble popped and the hedge funds collapsed, who will come clean up the mess?!

Instead of waiting for disasters, we might as well prepare for them. Better yet, we should call out those hustlers. When something is too good to be true, it probably is. Nearly one year ago, I got into a huge flame war on a forum for calling out two hustlers who claimed to have game; I waited until they started to rip people off. A few months later, another group of hustlers tried. Not even half a year later, another hustler emerged and yet another recently. So instead of asking people to pay for his dinners, or pay him half-price for his expert dating advice, he was asking for people to give him money in unmarked envelope and the latest one, give him gift cards! Wait until the IRS get wind of their "income." At what point do people see these internet forums for being the cesspools of losers and hustlers?!

Putting these entertaining anecdotes aside, the world is a big place and there are many types of people with differing opinions. I'm sure some of those optimists have done some good things and a few have achieved beyond their wildest dreams. But those are miracles, and miracles are exceptions. Just as there are some comatose patients who wake up after decades-long comas, what we don't ever get to see are the tens of thousands who died of bed sores. Just as in almost every lottery drawing, we will get to watch the jubilation of one or a few winners, but we will never find out the millions more who lost. So instead of paying to win that lottery drawing or waiting to wake up from that coma, we can follow many well-known well-trodden traditional paths to success. Better yet, if someone thinks s/he is so special and unique, s/he should go discover his/her very own path to success instead of paying some hustler to learn to do it. Be creative and be original!

Originality & creativity

Most IQ tests measure how many factoids someone knows or at best, some reasoning skills, such as manipulating 3D objects, solving an abstract puzzle, etc. and then, normalizing those results with the overall general population. IQ tests measure skills that serve some useful purposes in life, and many of them are essential for doing well in schools. IQ tests don't really test for the comprehensive intelligence that we all imagine, but rather, they provide some predictive values in how well someone would do in schools.

I, personally, value people who have mastery over facts AND also have the ability to use those facts to apply, to reason, and to create something new. In almost every field I have stumbled into, people tend to just regurgitate the same old bullshit. One, they don't see how to apply the bullshit. Two, they don't even test if that long held dogma is true. Three, assuming that dogma is true, how else and where else can we apply that and just perhaps, expand it. Finally, using our existing knowledge, what can we come up with that's new, it might be evolutionary (similar to previous point) or revolutionary.

This seems to occur mostly in groups of ignorant egotistical people. Someone first dishes out some bullshit, everyone else chimes in and conflates it with other irrelevant bullshit; thus, muddying the issue and making it more difficult for everyone else to understand. An intelligent person with a good grasp of the knowledge base tends to simplify all that is complex and difficult to understand into a clear and concise concept.

I see knowledge workers are no different than professional athletes. Most toil in silence and obscurity and 99% of them never succeed. Of the few that made it out, had their breakthroughs, I am willing to bet that they have created something new. They have mastered not only the existing corpus of knowledge but also have made insights that resolve difficulties that confounded the rest of the 99% of people who attempted.

The positive humanist in me would like to think that we all are creative and can contribute our original thoughts in one form or another. But the realist in me, that is tempered by experience, has learned to accept that most people are like rats in a cage, they keep spinning the wheel and rarely make anything of themselves, despite what they want, wish, claim, declare, and resolve to achieve. It's easy to blame that they are lazy, afraid to try because of fear of failure or success. But the sad truth is that they all lack that something to distinguish themselves among their peers: intelligence for creativity & originality.

Instead of keep fighting, keep beating one's head against the wall, I think people would be much happier if they just accept the world for what it is. They do their best to live within their means and limitations. Not everyone is meant to grow up to dunk that basketball, be that pro-surfer, make millions using his/her blog, have 3somes with midgets, even engage in anal sex, or manage multiple relationships that so many talk about but haven't a clue what that entails. If people would just be who they are, then they will achieve that inner peace, that mindful awakening to who they are and what they are capable of, that's when creativity will come about and hopefully, something original. But probably not!

Desperate people

A friend of mine took a look at this blog and was rather surprised at "the number of ads here for desperate people! " Then this dawned on me why people in the community need all these gambits, tactics, techniques, methods, workshops, and bootcamps. All along, I was journaling my recovery from the whole bullshit. I finally found some peace and happiness after I stopped being near those "community guys." Practically everyone in there are trying to get something from someone. They have this great desire for fame, fortune, and girls, but not willing to work for them. And worst of all, they are constantly comparing this against that... what started as their rankings of girls, and because they don't get girls, they ended up ranking each other in their (in)ability to get girls, just like they are constantly trying to seduce each other, by that, they try to convince how they have skills without demonstrating them.

Nowadays, whenever I go out with friends, we have a good time, we don't game, but we still socialize with people. We have girls in our group of friends. Funny thing is... the true hard-core gamers are ones who wander around in their cock-farm and of course, go home alone. Do I get laid like a rock star? Definitely not! The better question is, am I a rock star? Of course not and nor I want to be! The thing with people is that they need to accept themselves for who they are and make the best within their own limitations. There's nothing to exorcise, no reason to fake it to make it, no new personality to adopt. People can just be who they are.

Sure, I'm not going to get any girl, any where, at any time. But I make friends with people who are good & decent, they have no agenda, we have fun in going out and we have interesting conversations other than gaming! The best part of hanging out with people who don't hustle is that they don't see me as yet another target to make money or to extract some potential sexual favors. If I can sum up the best way to live is to let go of desires of getting anything from people, lower my expectations of people, and suppress our natural tendency to compete. For the Ayn Rand fans, I don't see any of them stepping up to stop our federal government from saving those sore losers.

Just as an experiment, I am changing what I will blog about here, let's see when google will notice and put up a different sort of ads.

Unnecessary pressure

Life - Expectations = Happiness

When we expect nothing from others and minimize our desires, life is so much happier. I'm all for individualism and may be a small but healthy dose of competition to get people to achieve. However, I see so many unhappy people because they constantly striving to get something for whatever reasons.

There's this myth in the whole self-help / improvement about declaring one's goals to his/her peers. This, of course, would set most of these pledgers to fail. There are very few people who rise up to the occasion; in reality, most people buckle under pressure, especially social pressure. I had a similar discussion with a friend about how most so-called seduction gurus, most guys will be disappointed with the fact that most girls who got with these self-proclaimed gurus are fugly! I would even venture to guess that most self-help gurus are not as enlightened and successful as they claimed in their marketing.

There are also some miracle stories about people achieving their dreams that they set out on their vision board (as presented in The Secret). There are also anecdotal testimonies from very few individuals that they have found their perfect partners, as they have written down in the love list, as shown on Oprah. Most people would accept those "miracles" as something that happens regularly, and they don't realize that those are exceptions. Exceptions prove the rule; which means for the usual participant, they would rarely if ever achieve result on par with those "miracles." Let's also not forget that most of those miracle stories are just marketing ploys.

Even if we assume those testimonies as real and true, most of those "winners" have very selective memories. They would recall only incidences or results that coincide with what they set out... or they would only remember what they want to remember. This is why for myself, I see the world for what it is, and I often contradict what many of these self-help / improvement and seduction gurus claimed.

Putting all the probabilistic evidence of success, let's examine what happens when people set unnecessary pressure on achievement. For every pair of parents who has high expectation for their kids, I will show you how disappointed they will be when their kids failed to get into the top-notch college or get arrested for DUI. For every guy who sets out to be the major player, I will show you a hundred more who go home alone to jerk off. Worst yet, they probably don't have any girl, or even guys as friends! Because of their public declarations, imagine how much pressure they experience in performing their miracles in real life and the embarrassment when these guys fail.

So instead of setting pressure for oneself to achieve... something monumental. Set realistic goals, and make sure there is a road map to reach those goals. Sometimes, the problem is the actual goals themselves. Instead of aiming for something external, people should find something that fulfills what's inside. They can search all they want, fuck as many as their so-called "hotbabes" they want, they will never achieve that inner peace. It's always easy to find blame on people or what goes on outside, search for a replacement, it's much more difficult to turn inward, find motivation from within, fill that void inside, and fix what is wrong internally.

Why me?!

There was a funny incidence of a patron getting kicked out of a local establishment. I was just happened to be there to witness it, which reminds me of what happened in a forum not long ago with a few other hustlers.

This guy was clearly disruptive with music blasting through his headphones so loud that I was able to hear him outside of the store. He was all indignant and became very defensive when another patron confronted him about the loud and disruptive music. Of course, the offender claimed that everyone else picked on him, and not 30 seconds after I whispered to the person next to me, that this offender will play the race-card, which he did and we had a good chuckle.

That's the thing about lowly powerless people. They first victimize themselves by living lives that offend others, and they turn around to accuse the rest of us for picking on them. They don't realize that had they lead legitimate lives that doesn't involve offending people, we would all live harmoniously. This, of course, refers to a recent incidence when this wannabe-hustler turned dating coach nominated me for being his critic on his blog. I don't think this kid is that stupid, he is bright enough to have made it into graduate school, but instead of choosing to excel in his field of study, he chose to do a reality TV show and by riding on that popularity train, he landed a spot as an instructor of a seduction school, that's tanking, or so it appears to be with most of its senior instructors left. Unfortunately, this kid doesn't have the social or net savvy-ness to realize his own social ineptness.

So first they try to take advantage of people, when people chastise them, they turn around and go "Why me?!" Some even exhibit signs of a paranoid personality. We often see this on popular media about guys with missing teeth telling their alien abduction stories, which usually culminate with aliens performing anal probings. Now, how come we don't ever come across stories about aliens abducting powerful state leaders? Wouldn't they be better targets if aliens want to take over Earth?! Going back to those with paranoid delusions, some lair members think I'm personally attacking them on my blog. What they don't realize is that I am just using them as examples of what-not-to-be, they fit the stereotype of people who failed in life, not just at getting girls.

That's the thing about insignificant morons, they conjure up these scenarios or stories to make themselves seem like some major players. The reality is that no one cares. But in their delusional worlds, they think everyone else is talking about them, that's partly true because they are most likely the victim of our derisions and butts of our jokes. So when these jokers ask why me? I just have to ask them, "have you look at the mirror and wonder why people laugh at you?! " And if they look and behave like semi-normal people, no one cares. Really, I'm not blogging about you.

Identity

Part of being a man, in my not-so-humble opinion, is to make my position known, backed by rational and logical reasoning (as far as I can manage), rather than to play nice, hide my position, suppress my true feelings, and lie about my beliefs, because of something as simple as I might offend whoever is near me. Time and again, I've seen people pretend to play nice, yet deep down, they are nasty, jealous, fearful, angry, and hateful individuals. There's nothing bad or wrong about having negative feelings and emotions, but harboring them and allowing them to fester will eat away at these pretenders' core, to the point that they won't amount to anything in life.

I'm the first to admit that I hold some extreme views and positions; usually not because of what some gurus or anyone in particular told me, but because of what I gathered as empirical evidence which leads to my logical conclusion. However, I've also been wrong, not just in my reasoning, but I've also changed my beliefs, views, positions, and consequently, actions; only after I have examined the evidence and I am convinced by sound reasoning. And my mistakes had far reaching consequences and sequela. This is how I conduct my life. There are variables I can't control: shit happens, I made mistakes, and so have others. But I can control how I react, how I respond, and what I can do to correct and/or fix them.

This is a follow-up to my previous entry about taking action and monitoring progress. They are just an extension of having a strong sense of identity and core values. People without conviction in who and what they are tend to waver in the wind, always standing in the sideline, not taking risk, only wishing and wondering what could have been instead of being themselves and taking part in a cause. Life is too short; I'd rather lose a few people along the way than to amass "friends" who I don't know.

This is presumptive on my part and my viewpoint is risky, I suspect girls feel the same way about guys. When a random guy meets a random girl, he might be able to make her laugh, create some intrigue (or "attraction), and build some "comfort" because he doesn't seem creepy. So they even hook up, but the secret to having and keeping someone around is to have a strong sense of identity, standing up for oneself, and growing together.

That's the thing about people pretending to be hustlers, they think they can weasel their way into getting what they want. With that said, this is not an attack on "indirect game," I think it is quite useful for finding out what the girl is like for me to have a reason to like her, not because of her superficial look, which helps but she wants me to take the effort to know her. Part of that process is for her to know me as well. This goes beyond the initial meeting to having friends, they might have fun with me, but they also know where I stand. Being difficult to read in the beginning makes the process of discovering each other fun, but keep being mysterious will come across as creepy later on. And worst yet, keep playing nice will leave most of these people playing by themselves, as in being alone. Hesitation leads to masturbation, so is the lack of conviction.

My blog is quite critical of the self-help, self-improvement, pursuing-the-American-dream phenomenon in general, and pickup or seduction movement in particular. I've learned a great deal from all of them, but I am not going to swallowthe whole heap of bullshit. I am quite sure that some of my opinions and viewpoints that I've brought up have crossed the minds of many smart individuals, they might even whisper or discuss privately, but few if any would stand up and call bullshit for what it is. I hope that I'm wrong, but after keeping a tab on this for nearly two years now, I'm more convinced than ever that this has been one of the greatest marketing campaigns ever to wage on society, preying on the dreams and aspirations of do-nothing lukewarm identity-less losers.

It's the fat that makes you look fat

And your attitude doesn't soften your look either, girls can be just as clueless! Back to getting girls...

First we patent how to get girls, then sex, and mark my words, walking and breathing will be next!

P.S. Sorry I've stolen your precious Dora the explorer... I'll make it up to you by decoding "the famed blue balls."

P.P.S. The best review I've read of TD's The Blueprint Decoded by Ubermensch:

"k guys, i just watched the first dvd of blueprint then went out for a coffee and THREE girls passed out in a moist pile of ladyjuice when I coughed. A fourth was taken to hospital because her vagina would not shut. thanks tyler!"

The in-her game(tm): Working toward success

Most people often like to dream, to discuss what they want, they need, they will have, but they don't do that one thing. It's always easier, safer, and more familiar to dwell on what is possible, what to learn, what to do, than to take the chance and start doing.

There's a parallel between not getting things done and not going up to talk to girls. The hesitation that people have in approaching girls is also what's holding people back from having success in their lives. I previously blogged about people not having women in their lives is only a symptom. "Gaming" will get them a horny & drunk girl now and then, it doesn't address a much deeper problem: an unsuccessful life. To get anywhere in life, not even success, requires not just learning, doing due diligence, deliberate planning, but actual execution. Making the approach and taking that first step.

The actual step in working toward any goal and closing the door on mental masturbation is taking the first action. That's why meeting is a waste of time. People tend to go over the same plan or discussing what might or might not happen rather than doing to see what actually happen. The next crucial step is to monitor that progress. What's worst than having unrealistic expectation? Lack of honesty to oneself. That's the problem with people who are positive thinkers and they constantly reframe, twist, and distort what is happening in order to lie to themselves.

Realistic goals and expectations allow us to plan out the necessary steps to get there. Once we started taking actions, we have to monitor our own progress, find out where we are, and use some metric to determine if we are reaching our goals. That's why optimists, or worst yet, reframers, would deny factual evidence as truth, and they will fail disastrously. The problem is that we would rarely encounter the optimist who fail because we don't glorify failure in this society. But being among optimistic losers within the community, that's when I see this problem.

I was naive enough in my professional life because I am surrounded by successful individuals. We find the problem, discuss our plan, and just do it. Then I encounter many community guys failing at their lives, all they do is talk about what is possible instead of doing what will probably lead them to success. Most fail because they don't pull the trigger and take action. Many more fail after they have taken action but they don't critically evaluate their progress. Again, it's easy to externalize one's problems and failures, the difficulty is accepting responsibility so that we take, that's right, the necessary action to correct our own mistakes.

Dream less, think more, plan it out, take action, and monitor progress. Rinse and repeat until you get there.

There isn't just one best solution to life and love

I get so many hits on this blog from people searching for the solution to life's problems, the one-best-way to get a girl / guy, the ideal relationship, the perfect life,... The reality is that there is no one best "whatever" to find love or conduct one's life.

Marketeers would like us to believe that they have the secret, the method of getting the girl or boy, the blueprint to social dynamics, the foundation for transformation, the revelation that shows us the way, the steps to get there, and lest we forget, the Jedi Knight's method that will annihilate everything out there. First, they create a problem where there is none. Second, they blame us for not being good enough. Finally, they offer us a way out. This is the basis of advertising, especially in the self-improvement market, and pickup or seduction in particular.

If you haven't tried this, observe how people move, how they walk, how they breathe, and how they conduct their lives. There are as many ways to live as the number of people. But in trying to go mainstream, marketeers would foist upon us their methods, techniques, lines, and impose their frames on how life should be. Don't get me wrong, there are some useful overarching principles, but the rest, I'm sure a reasonably intelligent person can manage to figure it out on his/her own. Just as we don't need to a coach to teach us how to breathe and walk, I'm quite sure we don't need a coach to teach us how to live and love. These are biologically instinctual behaviors, unlike learning the math for building a rocket, or techniques for neurosurgeries.

The major side-effect of these methods and techniques is to make people think that there's the one proper, true, best way of finding and having a relationship. So instead of following their own instinct, people go consult these leeches on society, or as they prefer to call themselves, dating or life coaches. Instead, people must give themselves the permission to fail. It's ok to make a mistake, as long as we learn from it.

Only idiots would go and repeatedly fail at the same task over and over again, which is exactly what many veterans and old guards in the community do. Even more insidiously destructive in what they do is that they pass on their bad behaviors to newbies, after what I've been through, I recommend newbies to learn materials on their own, go out, try stuff out and it's ok to fail. If we are strong enough, smart enough, and tenacious enough, we will learn, grow, improve, and be successful.

If we were to examine many of these "coaches" carefully, what would they be doing if they aren't coaching? Nothing. Most of these guys have no career because they are too lazy, too stupid, constantly trying to find an easy way out of life. In their feeble minds, they think they can come up with some break through ideas to hustle people instead of doing what every hard working person does, have a real job, be productive, contributing to instead of leeching off society.

Fewer jargons, more actions

For the self-proclaimed dating coach who singled me out on his blog, thanks for driving more traffic to my blog! There are two simple problems within the community, guys who are no better than any average Joe in getting girls to become dating coaches and guys who are stupid enough to believe the first group.

I've previously blogged about this predator-prey relationship. The difficulty I've encountered in this blog is that when I tell chumps that they are being had, that those hustlers / dating coaches are ripping them off, they hate me for telling them that they are stupid. Of course, most big name guys have enough game and confident enough to NOT feel this compulsion to prove themselves to me (of all people), except for those no-name little guys who are trying to hustle. When I call them out, they would lash out at me, for the very simple reason that their livelihood is at stake. They don't have the skills to back up what they say, they are barely making ends meet, their students are just as unsuccessful, and of course, those hustlers are just as insignificant as this blog.

When I challenged these hustlers before, they immediately tried to qualify themselves to me. From the guy who told me that he had a PhD in sociology (but he is currently working as a code monkey) to the guy who dropped out of his PhD program. All of these guys want to make a quick easy buck off the back of hard working chumps. I wouldn't have challenged them if I have seen them in action or know that they have game. The reality is that they don't, they are just like any average Joe at best.

I'm realistic enough to know that I don't have game or need to have game. But I am socially savvy enough to see through their facade and their rather banal attempts to hustle other guys. At best, they are rehashing conventional wisdoms into new jargons, at worst they are turning socially awkward guys into creeps who bother people at public places. I see this blog as a public service to keep bars / clubs / public gatherings free of creeps. The thing is, guys don't need to be creeps to get girls, if they learn to behave like normal people. There is really nothing magical about game because commoners have been using it forever.

The common term for banter is teasing, for those who don't have good friends, when you are on good terms with people, you give each other shit, make fun of each other. So instead of going to a class to get into a circle jerk to tell other guys how cute they are, how about go have fun with your friends, at the very least, you don't pay for their friendships and you can learn more about each other, which is what normal social people do to establish rapport. Once again, you don't have to pay anyone to teach you that either.

The simple solution is almost always the easiest, least painful and costly way to go. Go out, talk to people, make friends, do stuff together (besides going out on dates with other guys from "the lair"), and make more friends. Once you have learned to get along with people, friends you can rely on, have fun with, instead of out sarging or winging each other. Then I guarantee girls will come, literally, you don't have to do anything to get girls. That's what those coaches called building a lifestyle of abundance. And yeah, if you don't have one, get a day job, and if you have one, don't quit it.

Drinking the Kool-Aid in moderation

In pursuit of dreams, most people lose sight of what is possible vs. what is probable. This goes back to my argument and my proposition that people should think twice about pursuing "the American Dream." With respect to pickup, most newbies ought to temper their enthusiasm with some realistic self-examinations.

Most marketeers, or as I often called them in my blog, hustlers want us to believe that anything is possible. The closest analogy is I can think of is like buying ONE (or a few) lottery tickets and expecting to win. Derren Brown did something similar recently in winning horse races. He came up with "The System" for winning horse races ALL THE TIME! I'll leave you to watch it for yourself... If you wonder how he did it, he used the tried-and-true method, by systematically applying the law of probability.

If you have ever wondered how to have the sure-fire way of winning the lottery, buy all the tickets that cover all the different combinations of numbers. Otherwise, your chance of winning is very slim. But for some reasons, when people embark on these self-improvement journeys, they all think they will become superstars. I compare this to "drinking the Kool-Aid." The cult-like devotion to gurus, blindly following their gospels, this proves exactly what pickup/seduction gurus warned people about, don't become beta-males. But if someone were to follow someone else blindly without question, that, in effect, is being beta to the leader.

This blog has been about critically examining this sociological phenomenon, whether there's any validity to the methods, the skill level and the factually accurate rate of success of their practitioners. In my experience, most of the materials from well-known gurus do work, but they don't work all the time, on everyone, at anywhere. In fact, in cases where they do work, that's usually when I was being genuine and not out "gaming" girls. Eventually, people will realize that they are being played and they don't like that at all. Being playful is one thing, but being deliberately deceitful and trying to get whatever from people are totally different.

The best way to succeed in life is to work hard and following the traditional paths to success. Sure, there are some unconventional mavericks who do rise to the top, what we don't ever get to see are the billions who tried and failed. You know, similar to FR/LR, they don't ever report ALL the sets that blew them out. Like JFK once said, "Success has a thousand proud parents, the loser is a lonely orphan." Because of people and their egos, they all think that anything is within their grasp, and in trying to get there, they usually end up grasping air and appearing like lunatics.

Take myself for example, I followed the traditional path of building a career; although I'm not the most successful guy around, I am happy with my work and I don't even think about giving it up. I'm also realistic with my ambition, and I often think instead of dream. I continue on the path that is the most probable way of achieving success... And not so surprisingly, I'm quite happy with my results instead of being frustrated or delusional.

This one is for the dreamers...