Life goes on and let it be

Just like my motto says, "Having fun being social." The former can't be taught, and the latter can be practiced. Ultimately, they have to be internalized and then going out, talking with people, that's what living among other creatures is all about.

I doubt that "having fun" is something that can be learned. I'm almost always happy when I go out. Otherwise, I stay home to work on my "inner game." Not so surprisingly, other people go out to have fun too. Forget the game, forget tactics, techniques, and whatever schemes you got, when you go out with an agenda to get/take something from others, they will know.

As for "being social," learn to enjoy talking and sharing with people. What makes them tick? Would you want to be friend with this person? Do you have other things going on in your life besides going out to game? In that case, share them. You will connect with some and most you won't. I'm certainly not at a level that I can bond with just anyone, nor do I want to. Maybe this is what I suck so bad in field, I can't remember most of my interactions to learn what to do or not to do in the future. The good ones just flow naturally.

For me, the two things drive each other and yes, they can be mutually exclusive. I have fun when I'm social and I'm social when I have fun. People try to get at this state by using all sorts of b.s. I don't think there's one guaranteed way, find your own. There are friends who I hang out just to kick it, and I've known people who just suck the life force out of me. Some even go a step further, they are value vampires. All they want is to get something from me, and they will not be around when I deny them access. One girl said it best, this person she saw, he had the resemblance to the elusive killer in Red Dragon, in terms of looks, demeanor, and his general vibe.

Do NOT buy into the hype of the community that these are some magical techniques, they are not. Hustlers have been using them for years to get something from someone. All I suggest is that use these techniques judiciously to connect and bond with some people. They are not meant to work on everyone. But then, do you want to fuck every girl you meet? If you do, you have other issues. Learn to let go of expectations and desires, work on being in the moment, with people, enjoy life, it's quite short.

Being real in reality

Lately, I've been pushing myself to explore multiple areas of meeting people. Alright, I have to confess, girls, at least the some what decent looking kind. I have a certain standard and those who know me can tell you that I'm very shallow! I eat right, I exercise, so my only indulgence is my predilection for eye candy, especially with girls that get to go out with me.

There wasn't enough 'I' in the previous paragraph so I will continue with more about me. After all, this is my blog, about me.

Oh, you are here to learn about the art of pickup?! When I first started this, I didn't have balls and no one gave me the kick in my rear to push me into sets. Now I really don't give a shit. One thing I've given up is fear, fear of a bad outcome, because I have no expectation. Besides, I don't know those people and how can I expect anything from them?

So I've started going to more social events in addition to the bar scene. Two things I learned: (1) most guys are still pussies (must be a Seattle thing), (2) showing interest (Thanks Vibe! Don't bother to click on the link, he's too lazy to post about himself). People simply do NOT know how to convey themselves in the best light and they can't take that much teasing. Most party/bar girls tend to be hit on A LOT, so they would be attracted to a naturally witty guy who can dish it out, but I have to titrate down my teasing in social gatherings or girls (and most definitely, guys) will be turned off by my rather high energy.

Being high energy is like blowing up a grenade inside a tunnel. The explosion will blast everyone apart as well as imploding the tunnel. I have to go in with the "introduce yourself" opener and ask the standard boring questions. The twist is that I tease a little bit, not the full blown cocky & funny (a la David D b.s.). Then I immediately tone down and mini-isolate, peeling one girl at a time from each group and talk about emotion to build rapport.

In order to build rapport successfully, I have to take risk and express interest. Showing interest is my way of rewarding her for compliance and also to put my interest in her on the line for her to take it or leave it. In her mind, I think it gives her a reason to continue to talk to me. Failure to escalate was huge for me before. The reason was that I didn't show enough interest to bait her to invest even more. Girls are attention whore. In fact, being high energy and I usually end up being in the most boisterous set, I would get girls eye-fucking me, which I use to warm them up and by the time I talk to them. I don't need to run any attraction but start building comfort.

In summary, in social situations, introduce yourself, tease a little bit or whatever you have done before to get girls to smile/laugh a little bit (that in community jargon, is called eliciting attraction), and immediately tone down & mini-isolate. Start seeding time bridge early on. Then show interest at high point of the conversation, if she continues to invest, then exchange contact info (i.e. # or @close).

PU to real life

I was out after-work/post-workout gaming with a friend and we ended up opening this 2-set of girls. It went really well, we were bouncing them (sorry, I could exaggerate to "pulling" girls) until we were interrupted. To cut the long story short, it was a LONG sarge, and my first set of the day. Somehow we got into a discussion about her application to medschool and I told her how we are all suckers for stories, for seeing the transformation, the process of change, and that's what draw us into another's world.

Then I came home and read this blog entry of Sinn, about the hero's journey. You all should read it. Simply amazing! This is the same reason why the Star Wars saga has been so popular. The hero, Anakin Skywalker, failed in his journey that allowed his son, Luke Skywalker, to complete. Joseph Campbell and George Lucas worked extensively together to craft the storyline. I'll stop here before I spew forth my geekasm.

For those who remember doing all those readings for highschool literature classes, girls melt when you can reach that deep emotionally. They will forever remember you. Be the fun, the social, and also, an adventurous guy with depth and vision. I'll go rub one out before I go to sleep instead of watching another David D video. I kid... sheeesh! Okay, you wanna watch? And do you have some spit? I like to do it wet. (Apologies to the Pheromone Kid).

Bait and switch

If you are tired of reading rants, please press the back button now! You have been warned! I first thank Flyboy for inspiring me to come up with the title and Vibe for giving me the punchline. Now that I'm done with the rave, onto the rant.

I was out just chilling with friends; one of them told me that a "Mystery Method" instructor was in town. Then I finally met the self-proclaimed MM instructor Saturday night. He went around telling guys to open sets instead of showing any of his game. This reminds me of a quote, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." In this case, there are so many "dating coaches" out there who talk plenty of game but don't show any. The first being the McDonald of seduction gurus: David D. Can you imagine that dude talking to girls and spew forth his mental masturbation materials? I know there are quite a few ways of putting someone to sleep, and so far, pharmacology is still far behind than watching any of David D's videos.

Back to the aforementioned "self-proclaimed" Mystery Method instructor, so I confronted him about his credential. He introduced himself as Kurgen (Turden? whatever) from LA. Then I followed up with what sort of TMM instructor as they have several levels even though the top dog isn't Mystery (Yeah, I find it kind of humorous that The Mystery Method corporation without Mystery). His answer wasn't what level, because he held his frame and instead, he reframed my question and answered that he rolls with Sinn. Without another word, he bolted away like many guys who don't have game, they tuck tails and run around like a chicken with its head cut off, while tooling other guys to open set.

Being a dick that I am, I decided to email Savoy and Sinn of TMM. They have responded that they don't know him and there wasn't any bootcamp here in Seattle this past weekend (contrary to what the dude said). Sadly, this wasn't the first time that someone claimed to be an instructor without any skill. The pervasive number of lies and charlatans that exists in the community is astounding. But then what do we to expect people who learn all these sales/marketing techniques?! The logical choice is to target the most vulnerable population: losers who don't have choices. Guys who are so desperate for women or any sort of attention from anyone that they will pay money for some bullshit. There, I've written it, which I have a solution already.

I'm willing to challenge that ANY instructor who has a better batting average than a good natural. Most of these guys are still playing the number game. Most of the time, they end up crossing sword with another dude because they are afraid of girls. Open enough sets, talk to enough girls, eventually some will hook, and if the stars aligned, cosmic karma is packed into the rectum, leaving plenty of dingleberries who can't open sets, even the lamest geek can get laid. And thank goodness, there are plenty of ugly girls for them to take home for their much talked about, ONS, SNP, and/or SNL. Once again, thanks to Vibe, we have the trifecta of becoming good at the (gay) game. We need to have the gift of being gay, so that we can develop the skill to seduce men. Most important of all, to keep at this forever, by that, I mean being a lifer in the community without achieving any observable verifiable quantifiable result, you got to have the passion! (Thanks again, Vibe).

The question is why the game is gay? Just look around at people in the community. They are here to impress men. Once this is a business, it's all about profit. The best way of making money is by seducing men. The bait is that we are tempted by this promise that they will teach/coach us to be good with women. The switch is that none of these fuckers are any better. What they are good at, however, is to seduce men, so that they can get the fame and/or fortune from other men. Sadly, being popular among guys in the community is like being the champion of the special Olympics.

So if you choose to learn this, ask yourself the simple question: What am I in this for? Women, men, or money? If you sign up now for the In-her game DVD, the first 3 chosen ones will get the whole comprehensive set for free, and those who reserve before the end of the month will get 1/2 off. After that, who knows... This might be gone forever! You are a winner only if you are in her, nothing else matters!

Finally, here are a few more sales terms:

1. Bait and switch
2. Pace and lead
3. Yes and ...
   

The in-her game(tm): Be a dingleberry

All credit for the name goes to Vibe! This is only possible through our collaborative effort. Too bad he's devoting his karma to being authentic and genuine, unlike me, I have the posting diarrhea!

For those who have missed previous articles, you should start with this. Now that you have a brief primer, we are ready to discuss a new technique. It's more than just being committed to opening a set; in addition to commitment, it's about using a series of techniques to convey that we are interesting guys, and after we have elicited attraction, we can proceed to develop rapport so that we can convey our emotional depth, because we are interested in others.

Despite what David D and PU101 teach, we open sets by breaking rapport using being cocky & funny because that convey non-neediness. As soon as the set opens, we have to convey to them that (1) normal (2) social (3) interesting, this along with some others that girls talk about: confident, sense of humor, and the dirty little secret, looks. Most sets usually don't open right away, or they have to size us up to see we are high value. This is when being a motor mouth, and having verbal diarrhea is important. Of course, that's how most dingleberries begin their life down the poop chute. They are substantive but definitely very runny. Whatever threads available become the nidus for the formation of dingleberries. During the attraction phase, we can be break rapport in order to build attraction, but this is VERY brief, no more than 5 minutes. Any longer, and if we don't titrate to the right dose, we will appear as assholes, not dingleberries!

After they invest into our interaction or show interest, IOI, not running away or backturning to us, then we continue by showing our interest. Girls have to know that (1) we lead interesting lives (2) we are interested in them (3) for reasons that we bait them, either in Juggler's investment into the interaction or Mystery's A3 phase of M3 qualifications. This is important because we always start at the evaluation frame. We are not some horn dogs with legs and will jump on any girl, but we have standards. Not all guys have standards, but if we are guys with value, we will decide if she's worthwhile. This is what being in-her game is about; not only do we follow the Dubya plan, we are the deciders! Then we have to hang in there, like dingleberries, we don't let go. Most naturals do this because they don't open as many sets as we do; actually only a few guys have the balls to open. However, one thing many of us beginners will eject because we are afraid of the uncomfortable silence. If we setup the open questions, or qualifications, we have to give them a chance to show that they are worthy; or in Juggler's term, we run the vacuum.

After all that, then we can talk more about the next phase. Being the closer. We have to build enough momentum, from the formation of dingleberries, to congealing, hardening, and remaining sticky in order to close!

Being a pussy

Argh, perhaps other people have this problem. I have been going out A LOT lately and I feel like I have this power to befriend almost any group. I blogged about being a normal social and fun guy. I think I'm there. The frustration is that I am not escalating. If I were to take advantage of Seattle this summer, I have to go crazy with pulls and day2, etc. Inside, I feel I have the power, but I'm not exercising it. I need to exorcise this demon.

Not being a closer reminds me of times I'm sparring, my opponent is down or in submission hold, I either don't push it to the point he's tapping out or just complete my combination which will finish the job. In order words, I'm being a pussy. I know I can close the deal so that I can move on, but I'm not doing it. Someone please kick my sorry ass for not committing to the close. I suspect this is the same sticking point of me ejecting from sets before. I haven't been digging through the community literature on escalation, compliance tests,... This pussy demon will die tonight. I have to remind myself, catch and release, pump'em and dump'em, don't keep holding on girls I've closed. Time for fresh meat. Hear me roar, bitches!

Oh, one more thing. Goddammit, David D C&F bullshit and PU101 banter monkey do more harm than good. I'll have to work on connecting and closing girls. I have to keep the eye on the prize, as this is: In-Her game. I'm a winner only if I'm in her. Everything else doesn't matter!

From geeks to gamers

The community is comprised predominately of guys from the computer industry. I have never worked in it so I wouldn't know. In my line of work, we deal with people all day long and our success is determined mostly by our social skills and in rare instances, technical knowledge. What began as a discussion at work on why most guys will "hit it" with almost any girl, we ended up talking on being normal, which reminded me of what I wrote awhile back. I see becoming a “pickup artist” as a two-step process for many guys: 1. normal, fun and social 2. pickup artist.

Most guys starting in the community tend to be shy, introverted, perhaps even geeky individuals who didn’t undergo the usual socialization process. Before they can start “gaming” girls, I believe they have to learn to be normal first. By normal, they have to be able to to relate to people (gender independent), chill, relax, and have fun.

A good test whether someone is a normal and social person is: If this person were to be introduced to a group of (non-community) friends in a social setting, would this person able to befriend those people and he is just so cool that they want include him into their social circle?!

Some normal turned community guys I know are afraid of introducing community guys to their normal friends because guys who study to become pickup artists but didn’t go through the stage of being normal & social tend to be a bit off, and tend to weird out normal people. If someone can’t relate to people on a friendly term without gaming them; by that, I mean this person can only talk about the game, or whatever geeky esoteric topics not that many people care about, he is doing this ALL WRONG!

Many guys I’ve met from the community can’t walk up and chill out/befriend with normal guys hanging out at bars. Instead, they would read and try to apply AMOG tactics, when in reality, the best way to steal a girl from anyone or group is to be the guy who brings value, who is more fun, and who is more socially savvy than the rest of the group. If someone can’t do that, my suggestion to this person is to step back, stop gaming, and learn to be normal, learn to have fun, tell a few dirty jokes, and god forbid, even be AFC so that one can relate to normal people.

I notice many community guys are very intelligent yet quite shy. In actuality, they have this sense of arrogance, as though they are above commoners. Despite what community guys think of lay people, the latter are probably getting more lays than those in the community. I recognize that where I work and what we do, we are in our ivory towers. This attitude of superiority, in fact, is what prevents many of us from relating to people. Just chill, life is more than just a race of intellect and one-up-man-ship.

The whole idea of gaming is about being normal, fun, and social. This means being able to strike up a conversation with a stranger anywhere, making small talks about mundane, boring subjects and can connect with people in general.

Go read a book, learn something new (not just openers and routines), be interested and interesting. If someone doesn’t have a life outside of gaming, he can’t game. Be a normally engaging guy first, that people enjoy his company. Be comfortable in one's own skin.

This is a 2-step process if someone is not already socially savvy, FIRST learn to be normal & social, THEN learn to game girls. This is supposed to be fun, not work. I'm not one of those PU workshop instructors, I think the minute I turn this into a money making venture, I would have a difficult time keep going out to have fun being social. Then my goal isn't to enjoy the company of others, and my actions would be to hustle other guys so that I can maximize profit, thus I would have to seduce men instead of women; yes, that would be very gay!