Being real in reality

Lately, I've been pushing myself to explore multiple areas of meeting people. Alright, I have to confess, girls, at least the some what decent looking kind. I have a certain standard and those who know me can tell you that I'm very shallow! I eat right, I exercise, so my only indulgence is my predilection for eye candy, especially with girls that get to go out with me.

There wasn't enough 'I' in the previous paragraph so I will continue with more about me. After all, this is my blog, about me.

Oh, you are here to learn about the art of pickup?! When I first started this, I didn't have balls and no one gave me the kick in my rear to push me into sets. Now I really don't give a shit. One thing I've given up is fear, fear of a bad outcome, because I have no expectation. Besides, I don't know those people and how can I expect anything from them?

So I've started going to more social events in addition to the bar scene. Two things I learned: (1) most guys are still pussies (must be a Seattle thing), (2) showing interest (Thanks Vibe! Don't bother to click on the link, he's too lazy to post about himself). People simply do NOT know how to convey themselves in the best light and they can't take that much teasing. Most party/bar girls tend to be hit on A LOT, so they would be attracted to a naturally witty guy who can dish it out, but I have to titrate down my teasing in social gatherings or girls (and most definitely, guys) will be turned off by my rather high energy.

Being high energy is like blowing up a grenade inside a tunnel. The explosion will blast everyone apart as well as imploding the tunnel. I have to go in with the "introduce yourself" opener and ask the standard boring questions. The twist is that I tease a little bit, not the full blown cocky & funny (a la David D b.s.). Then I immediately tone down and mini-isolate, peeling one girl at a time from each group and talk about emotion to build rapport.

In order to build rapport successfully, I have to take risk and express interest. Showing interest is my way of rewarding her for compliance and also to put my interest in her on the line for her to take it or leave it. In her mind, I think it gives her a reason to continue to talk to me. Failure to escalate was huge for me before. The reason was that I didn't show enough interest to bait her to invest even more. Girls are attention whore. In fact, being high energy and I usually end up being in the most boisterous set, I would get girls eye-fucking me, which I use to warm them up and by the time I talk to them. I don't need to run any attraction but start building comfort.

In summary, in social situations, introduce yourself, tease a little bit or whatever you have done before to get girls to smile/laugh a little bit (that in community jargon, is called eliciting attraction), and immediately tone down & mini-isolate. Start seeding time bridge early on. Then show interest at high point of the conversation, if she continues to invest, then exchange contact info (i.e. # or @close).