Cunts’n'Cocks: Leaks in the firewall

How much effort do we spend in partitioning our lives into separate compartments? Especially when one overflows or leaks into another, how much can we do to remedy that situation? Or in other words, how many balls can we juggle before one or more will fall through?

I told my bro that my ex-gf basically managed most of the transactions in getting my new house, this is on top of managing her full time job (and employees), her houses, her tenants, and her business. He was surprised how someone can take on so many roles and do them all at the same time. Then shortly after, she called me and expressed how she is stressing out. I can feel the weight of responsibilities falling on her shoulders and that’s tough for a single girl who is about to join the Christmas Cake Club.

Soon after that, I got a call from a girl I dated awhile back. I am doing the ethical thing to help as I have no one to answer to except myself. The most difficult thing is to be honest with myself, and after that, being honest toward others is a cakewalk. In any case, I hope her situation improves as life is as unfair as it is and despite we have walked our separate ways, I still do what I can professionally to make her situation tolerable. Everyone will experience it at some point in their life, hopefully later than sooner.

Being the selfish prick that I am, I thought about myself and how I deal with my stressors and the multiple roles I have to play. After a long discussion with a friend about some other issues, I realized how high and thick of firewalls I have built to partition my life into neat little compartments. In some weird psychological drama, I seemed to have created schizms in my persona that may be impeding my progress.

The question becomes, should I let my guard down, let a few balls dropped, and allow some mixing of different parts of my life? A friend once told me that I blocked out much of the pain and suffering I’ve experienced, which allowed me to keep going, fully functional in my professional capacity. However, in my personal life, I seem to come across as an empty shell, without the drama and emotional turmoils that give people character.