Coming before comfort

What I'm going to write about isn't something that can be used during the initial meet up or early on until you have attraction. Briefly, I generate attraction through breaking rapport, cocky funny, push-pulls, personal stories that describe who I am (you know the b.s. about attractive qualities), and disqualifications. These I still use, only intermittently just to spice things up. But much of my interaction after I entered comfort stage is about building commonalities.

Opposites may attract, similarities are ones who stay together. Most people want to find a friend, someone to go through life together, side by side, partner in crime, into the cold dark night, not be alone, and more importantly, the feeling of not be lonely, in a sense, co-dependency, pair-bonding. To generate that sense of commonality, familiarity, camaraderie, together we face the world that sort of things.

This is why cold reads are so important! The receiver immediately gets a sense that we understand her somehow, and we can start finding out what we have in common. Now, in attraction phase, we have to break that so that we don't seem supplicating like every other guy out there. For example, all girls go out (at night) to have fun, fun in girl-speak means, "trouble." So these stupid banter lines, "you look like trouble!" and "hey, troublemaker!" and variations thereof, work because they imply that we know what they are looking for. That is the first step toward building commonality.

Friends know what each other is thinking, or at least they think/hope they do. The next step to create even a stronger bond is to describe how we are similar, and how together, we can go out and face against everyone else. For example, why are Jews so cohesive? The simple fact is that they feel everyone else is against them. So create that feeling of "us vs. them" and this has to be done in subtle ways... sorry, you have to figure that out! Or you can buy our soon-to-be released In-her game DVD/CD set. So things like nicknames are great. (Yes, that's all you get for free).

Once the sense of we are alike, we are together, and everyone else is against us, then we can proceed with exploring our future together will be like. This is when we can get girls to open up, talk about her dreams and aspirations. Sometimes, to create a sense of emotional roller coaster, yeah, create drama in their heads, not ours, we can talk about their disappointments and other sad memories too. This is how I build that special connection, something that every little girl grows up yearning for, someone to listen to her, who understands/gets her, and what love stories are all about.

Now, do NOT use this indiscriminately, sometimes, girls go out just to get sex. Don't build this kind of comfort, because they don't want this kind of clingy attachment, and in fact, we should not build this prior to sex. As guys, we have to be pushy before sex, girls will be pushy after sex. Use this comfort along the line of pillow talk, the kind we have after sex. Hot girls get this ALL THE TIME from guys who try to get into their pants, so do it afterward. Whereas not so hot girls, they need this kind of emotional comfort before sex, because few if any pays this kind of attention toward them. And the ultimate us vs. them, and combine that with future projection:

L'shana haba'ah b'yerushalayim (Next year, in Jerusalem)!