The other DQ: Drama Queens

One important thing to avoid is be the Mr. Fix-it guy. Being chivalrous is one thing, but never ever be used, like a doormat. What's one thing that pets, children, girls, and to some extent, guys have in common? They constantly test boundaries. Another way is described before, as all interactions are collisions of frames. Especially players/hustlers and the wannabe's, they will constantly see how much they can get from us, how much they can (ab)use us. The goal is to let them know early, or we will become their tools.

Among guys, I state outright what is and isn't acceptable. They know what consequences they will face if they decide to test those boundaries. With girls, children, and pets, they require some finesse. Be the fun happy guy, I usually cut conversation threads about her and her friends, family, and problems, and splice in fun topics. Some girls know enough not to bring drama into our conversation, such as their exes. I would immediately turn to talk about what I have encountered before, and be murky, mysterious, nonspecific, how things just happen to get better and move on to the next topic.

I keep conversations light hearted and fun; sure we can share emotional experiences, only to the extend that we bring our past experiences and plans for future to the table. This is NOT the time to advise and guide her. Trust her that she can resolve any issue she brought up and let her know that. Again, our role isn't to be her bitch boy that she can call to cry on, to console her, and to swoop down to fix what bothers her; i.e. not to be her parent or friend.

Another way to frame our interaction is that we are lovers by escalating as quickly as possible. There are many ways of doing that. Charm school teaches a method of using sexual barriers, others call it sexual IOI,... I prefer being playful and fun. When we are having fun, being playful, from spanking her to tickling her to play fighting with her. This allows her to be a child again, and for many, it was a happy carefree time in life. When people go out to meet market (yes, not meat), be the leader who snaps them out of their current reality and into a whirlwind of emotions, sprinkle in future projections, and (literally) sweep them off their feet.

I used to get drawn (because of my weak frame) into girls' world of dramas and be a good listener. Sure, I still listen, but I actively and selectively listen for positive emotions and filter out negatives, avoid dramas. This has allowed me to sidestep another problem I had, the Mr. Fix-it, of giving advice. In fact, compressing the time between face time to sexy time, we become physically intimate (by violating her physical boundaries early on using touching) without getting tangled in other (emotional) dramas. The more talk time in between face and sexy time, the more likely one will fuck up.