The reality of pickup
I had an insightful discussion with a few friends about this whole pickup thing recently. With the media blitz to promote the VH1 show, increases in workshop fees, and the rampant proliferation of workshops, I likened this to selling of the classic American dream story: Any guy can pickup any girl, anywhere, anytime, if he works hard enough. If you are to believe the sales pitch, then you will only if you take their workshop. Like the American dream, this reminds me of my favorite comedian, George Carlin, once said:
"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."
In the case of pickup, you have to be a KJ to subscribe to that b.s. What is the reality of pickup? Of the microcosm of the local community, the few guys who improved dramatically are guys who already have friends, girl friends, relatively normal, and social. Contrary to what pickup gurus like us to believe, looks matter... A LOT. I'm not talking about the non-verbals: presentation, body language, etc. Quite simply, first impression. If a guy is short, tiny, skinny, bald/outdated hairstyle, dorky/geeky/nerdy, fat/obese, and he doesn't fit the sexy stereotype, what he wears, how he talks, what he sounds like,... he won't have the time of day even if he can spit game.
Just google for pictures of famous pickup gurus, who are reputed to be good in America, check out what they look like. They fit the classic American look; tall, symmetrical, well-built, Caucasoid, almost a spitting image of many movie stars. How many are short, bald, dorky, and/or creepy? Don't believe me, look at the final two contestants on the VH1 show. Sure it's reality TV, so much of it is scripted, but look at those two guys... one is the classically good looking blond (FULL HEAD OF) hair and the sexy (forbidden) Latin guy. Sure, the producers use those guys to appeal to specific demographics, but in reality, of local guys I've seen with success, they fit that image.
Even if their sexy/edgy look doesn't get them girls now, if their looks fit the fantasies of girls, they have a much easier time opening, hooking, and ultimately improving their games than guys who don't. Or else, do what society has always wanted us to do, excel and achieve in high value careers and make enough money. I have any success at all, when compared to most guys, I have much higher social/financial value and I can present it in a palatable form to girls.
What have I learned? Pickup isn't for most people, seriously, take a look at the mirror, if the reflection is that of a dork/nerd/geek/gay staring back, no matter how much game you got, you won't be good. Sorry, like the American dream, it's a fantasy and you can read about it in novels and watch it on the flat screen. I haven't even begun to tackle the other issue, what kind of girls that guys get...
10 comments:
Seems like a defeatist attitude. I know many people with non-classical looks that have solid game or who have GF. But, these guys all had lots of friends and GF before, there also super fun to hang out with. Goes back to your point of just socializing, being normal, having outside iterests which makes you attractive to women.
I think you verbalized what has been in the back of most people's minds. Would you agree that at the least, PU can improve your odds at getting women, not necessarily getting boatloads of hot women? The thing about PU that makes it more dangerous is that the gurus make their followers believe that they are truly altruistic, benevolent people and that the money is just a necessary evil. That, in my opinion, is false for most of the gurus.
PU can improve SOME people's social lives. I will elaborate more on what I mean about becoming good at PU... that's like having a superhot gf, or consistently getting new girls on a daily/weekly basis.
Hotness is such a relative term, I've seen some supposedly "gurus." Check out their myspaces, girls are either self-promoting skanky cooties vectors, or fat/chubby/UGs. Not the wholesome, unadulerated good looking girl-next-door.
This is the way I see it.
No one can have any girl they want, except this passionate virgin that I know but I found out that he walks around with warpigs. What a disappointment it was to find that out.
The sad fact is that these PU workshops give a false hope to guys. They subtly promise that if you get good in the game, you'll be dating a playboy model. That's simply not true because not every one can get good, especially the social retard. The social retard is typically a computer nerd, who probably goes to school to become a gaming programmer and had no real friends outside the community. These guys could go out for a month straight and still not even get a number. They wont see any short term results. For them to get good, they'll have to be in it for the long haul without immediate rewards and that's fucking tough. That's why all the guys who are good, aka can get a decent looking girl are relatively good looking, except me.
Which brings me to my next point. There hope for you all because if I can get a girl, so can you. When the School of Vibe is done, any one can pick up any girl any where. This method is so powerful and I'm not allowed to say any thing about it. It doesn't matter if you're a passionate virgin, retarded, a king KJ reframer or a person who has no real home and dates ugly europeans, it can help you all.
Please check for updates.
"School of Vibe..."
LOL.
The sad truth is that looks and first imressions are huge. If you're a 3 then you're not gonna get laid by anyone decent. However, I've seen guys change their looks substantially. For example, I know someone who lost 50 lbs and basically went from a 3 to a 7 and is now getting results.
Most important of all is that a guy must appear cool and "normal." Unfortuantely, the KJ's usually lack the social intelligence to understand what "normal" is. If a guy has just average looks and is normal he'll get a gf. For the most part, I think looks has the potential to hurt you much more than they can help you. If you look retarded you will be wrote off immediately. But if you're good looking that only gets you one step furthur unless, of course, you're Fashion...then all belltown girls get sold on you : )
Finally, keep in mind that looks are, to a certain extent, in your control. The question is, how much do you desire to change your looks?
--Fashion
I think a person's appearance tells alot about their capacities, intelligence, talents and character. Looks are not at all superficial. All strikingly good looking people I know have qualities like high intelligence (even if they like to party or whatever) and the potential for fierce determination; and that's what they use to accomplish results.
But even though I recognize the vast intrinsic differences in people which includes everything they have or don't have by birth more or less, it is not a good idea to get stuck on nature. As human beings we're free to go as far beyond nature as we choose for whatever purpose we invent, if the person knows how to evolve.
DAMN dude, u know I am actually a tall, Caucasian, intelligent person w/ body that looks like the David statue and pretty awesome looks from Germany and Ukraine... but damn yo, don't EVER fucking discourage people like that you douchebag. Sorry. You may have some points true, but an individual person's reality is what they make it.
- TW
Some points I want to address regarding your post:
- Brady actually had dark brown hair in the first episode and had it bleached blond.
- Style AKA Neil Strauss is short and bald and is regarded as a "famous pickup guru"
- Another "famous pickup guru" named Mehow gives me the "dork" impression and is quite bald
- Not everyone looking to be better with women is ugly, dorky, fat and/or short. Many that I meet are just the opposite.
- the workshop business is like any business. They advertise in ways that make people go to boot camps. It is no different than an Axe body spray commercial showing a guy getting molested by 200 HB10's after spraying himself. These boot camps can definitely help people but if you are gullible enough to think that they are the magic pill that will cure all your problems without you having to face your fears, change yourself, and exit your comfort zone then you are a fool. I use Axe and I am not naive enough to be disappointed when hot women don't kick down my door after spraying it on me.
- it is not about a fat, bald and short guy getting as much or the quality of pussy that a tall, handsome and fit man gets. Instead it is about a fat, bald, short guy getting more and better pussy than what that fat, bald, short guy did before taking the boot camp.
- Sure, two of the best looking contestants were in the final episode but you would have to be blind to not see the improvements in regards to interacting with women with the other less attractive contestants throughout the progression of the show. Isn't that ultimately what it's all about?
I can see how you are trying to address the commercialization of the seduction community just as Linus talks about the commercialization of Christmas in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, but I think some of your points are missing the target.
It did make me think and leave a comment so I have to give you deserved credit for an interesting post. Respect.
It's casual,
Mack Tight
eSeduce.com
I must admit some of what you have written here is always lingering in the back of my mind. I consider myself decent looking, but I feel my own image of myself has held me back. I do have to bring up one point...
You say that if you look at the top PUA gurus out there, most of them are good looking. I'll admit some of them are. I'll also admit that the guys who made it to the finals of the Pickup Artist were the best looking guys on the show (although in my opinion they barely proved themselves, even with their looks). But tell me...are they NATURALLY good looking or has their style made them good looking (or better looking?)
I can think of 4 "gurus" who are definitely not classically good-looking...Style, Tyler Durden, Mehow and Badboy. Look at pics of those guys. There is NO WAY you can tell me they are classically good looking. They may have good style, but are they naturally good looking, like Hollywood movie stars? Not according to what I've seen. There are probably more guys in the community who do not look like movie stars, but we haven't seen pictures of everyone (actually, aside from Mystery, Matador, J-Dog and a bunch of the RSD guys, how many have you seen?)
I guess you can respond to this by saying that they were social before they found the community. I don't really agree with that, but, if it's true, doesn't that mean you can change by becoming more social, regardless of looks? I'm not sure if the point of your post is that you need to CHANGE yourself and become better looking (which I would agree with) or that you are just stuck with your looks and if you are ugly, you should quit (which I'm more skeptical about).
You can also respond to this by saying that the guys I mentioned above don't really have game and it's all hype. I've never been out with any of them, so I can't say for sure, but that would mean an awful lot of people are lying and the theory sounds a bit paranoid to me.
Maybe you should clarify this, as I will admit all sorts of negative things popped into my head when I read this.
You can train all you want, you'll never jump as high as Vince Carter. Should you stop trying to play basketball? NO! You practice, train and your game improves.
I've met many PUAs, I'm guessing most of them were quite awkward and probably didn't have a big circle of friends. If you take into account how many guys join the community and how many become successful, the ratio is probably the same as number of kids start playing football in middleschool and continue to do so at the pro-level.
The examples of ugly PUA you picked are good, they turn their not-so-good look into a threatening edge. How Ross Jeffries does it... I have no idea.
Post a Comment