What do you want to be when you grow up?

Don't say a Poo-ah or a dating coach! (Credit: Vibe)

That's what girls will say in a few months. There are a few mistakes I made in my life, one of which was to waste my time with losers in "seduction lair." Almost all of these guys want to be somebody, sadly, most aspire to be dating coaches. There are some great dating coaches out there; just as there are some amazing professional athletes, but for the rest of the population, go get a job that you like, that you are good at, and quit chasing this fantasy.

Now, may be I'm stupid, I actually went to school, graduated with a professional degree, and I'm happily working. What's even more weird is that I am actually happy with my job, I keep great friends who are lively, interesting, and fun. Sure, I go out, I do use community techniques/routines, sometimes I succeed in connecting with girls, sometimes not, most of the time, I'm happy just to be alive and sharing my life with good people.

I don't squander my life to chase the impossible dream of becoming the world's best (or second best) PUA. I am fun, I can be social and if I meet someone for the night or however long, that's great. My life and my happiness are not dependent on some girls. Nor do I change my goals, my career, my outlook, my persona, my being so that I can get girls. Although Mystery doesn't live what he preaches, "Pickup arts should enrich your life, not define it." There are some amazing guys out there, bona fide professional pickup artists, ladies men, great dating coaches, who hook up with different girls regularly. Not many guys can be like them, that's why picking up girls is their profession; for the rest of us, we might as well concentrate on doing what we are good at and pickup is something we do for fun.

Within the community, I've seen so many guys who are unhappy with themselves. They take one workshop after another, change their wardrobes, their careers, denying who they really are and of course, they end up being even more depressed. Many go from one girl to another, not by choice, but because girls eventually discover that these guys have no identity, no personality, no friends, just an empty shell, and dump their sorry asses. Of course, they would deny that and claim their girls are boring, bitches, or whatever. What they don't do, that they should, is to examine their inner selves, ask themselves these difficult questions... what are they, what do they want to do with their lives,... and they will never admit it, they probably suck in bed. That's another dirty little secret of life, guys who can't keep girls around, they do NOT perform sexually. I'm willing to bet that this is the main cause of many breakups and divorces.

Go pursue something that brings joy to yourself and others; for most people, that means not being dating coaches. Create a life that is worthwhile, choose and excel in your job, surround yourself with good/decent/honest/loyal friends (not "wings"), and be social, go out to mingle, to join the rest of humanity, don't try to see if you can hustle a buck from another poor lonely guy or think you slip your little limp penis into a girl. Leave hustling to the pros, if you aren't one now, you won't be one. Worst yet are wannabe parasites, who try to hustle and cannibalize the community instead of making a worthwhile living. People in the community should stop thinking they got the secret, they are superior than everyone else, they are where they are today because they are societal rejects, make an effort to take part in, participate, contribute to society instead of trying to leech off it.