PU is not just taking the 'red pill'
Of 90 or so guys I've met in the local community, only a select few still go out to practice and to improve. Most of them, one way or another, about 80-90% of them, don't even go out but are KJs, and of the remaining 10-20%, 90-95% of them will eventually find some excuses not to go out; some blame on work, life, psychosomatic illnesses, knocked up some girl (yes, got her pregnant so that he is "tied down"),... some even become dating coaches so they don't have to approach but to make other do the heavy lifting. Learning to PU requires more than just swallowing the 'red pill' and whatever metaphors many like to use to separate themselves from the masses. The reality is that this skill set, like being a surgeon or anything that we were not born with, requires practice and continuous training just to maintain a certain skill level. I'm bringing this up not to discourage people, but to make most newbies aware that this shit is tough, and there's no magic other than hard work.
For those who haven't done it, and I'm definitely not the first to advocate this, learn to go PU alone! Yes, I've learned to make friends, and after I've reached a certain level, I have befriended the group that they would invite me to events. The goal of pickup should be about getting girls, but if I don't learn to make friends, how will I even get girls. I'm sure I will get to the point where I can blow out her friends and take the girl, but why be an ass when I can make new friends?!
Back to the hard work, I have met quite a few well known PUAs, and unlike how they appear on videos. In real life, they are just average guys and few if any of them have the success that we somehow think they do. They go out and socialize, some have more balls and I have witnessed them approaching & opening, sadly, I have seen only once or twice that they have any close; (let's see, I've seen well-known PU101 & its spawns, Charisma Arts, Mystery Method, one guy who is teaching for Venusian Arts, and some local guys who are (semi-)retired).
Going out, first and foremost, should be a fun and enjoyable experience. If it's anxiety provoking, figure that out and learn to calm yourself down. Then learn to be social, to both girls and guys, without any agenda. Once you have accomplished that, learn to isolate your target; if the girl doesn't want to move with you to have a private conversation, you probably won't get her number or any other close, and if you do, it won't be solid. After isolation, work on venue changing, how else will you get her home?! Have a group of solid friends who are cool... who you know won't try to run games on your girls... So you all can go out and pick up more girls together. Be calm, be at ease with yourself, be comfortable among strangers, be interesting and others will be interested. Until next time, take your balls and go talk to some women, the best teacher is in field experience and eventually, you will discover this isn't that difficult, it takes balls; both confidence and competence come from experience.
4 comments:
Hmmm, at the beginning you say it's tough and then at the end you say it isn't that difficult. I think I know where you're coming from, maybe. It's tough in the beginning (damn tough) but it gets easier, so don't give up.
I read all the time about going out alone to do PU, but for me it's been a tough road and I've needed the support of wings. Now, I think it's time to shed the wings and do some solo PU and beat that AA demon back into the stone age.
Good points about most people becoming KJ's. It's the easy route and allows people to gain validation by receiving props on their posts.
Cheers.
- S
The start is rough. This is were you have to be mentally tough, and not let it get you down when you feel like you're getting kicked in the nuts every night. It gets less painful. Along the way you get some lovin, which makes it all worth it!!!
great post. in fact i'm going to link it from my blog because i agree with pretty much everything written in it.
here's my take on finally taking the plunge and committing to what it takes to improve.
when you start going out alone with the objective of picking up women you will be mortified. i was so scared it was retarded. i had an immense amount of hard, entrenched AA that needed to be weeded out.
i had to make it a habit. something i did no matter what. tyler's "making a habit" post was a big factor in my commitment plan.
going out alone, especially to do daygame, was absolutely shit inducing. i was scared.
but slowly, very slowly, i started to get over it. there where countless days where i wanted to give up but i had a habit to follow up with. so eventually a month passed and i realized i approached more girls that month then i did all of last year. was it hard? hell yeah. but i did it.
it never really gets easy. not for a long time at least. you really cant look forward to that because you will be let down. dont use it as a motivation. i still get AA, i still get days where i panic, sometimes its just as hard as my very first approach. that's just how it is. will you grow and become courages enough to face these fears on a consistent basis? that's pretty much the most important question you need to ask.
Key stats at the beginning. Few guys know about the community at all. 80-90% don't do anything about it, and then only 10% of THEM stick with it?
We gotta stay out there fellas...we're ever rarer than we think ;)
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