Vulnerabilities vs. Insecurities

My previous blog entries poked fun at inner game, because quite frankly, I agree with Mystery, all those confidence building exercises are bullshit. Success in the field is dependent on how hard people work (along with all my previous caveats), if not, they will end up going home to work on their hardness, alone. Another thing I poked fun at previously was the reframing bullshit. I don't have problem with the concept, but more of its perversions by social retards.

Let's clear up a few things first for those who emailed / IM'ed / phoned / conversed with me in person, I don't have problems with what is taught in the community, by guys we all know and respect, this is by no means a comprehensive, all inclusive list: Mystery and Juggler. All my previous rants were directed at guys who are pretenders, hustler-wannabes, yet-another-dating-coach, copycats, plagiarizers,...

Back to the subject of this entry. I notice the main cause of inner game problem stems from guys trying to hide their insecurities instead of truthfully revealing them as vulnerabilities. Start with the approach, most guys are afraid of rejection, as do I. That's why we hesitate. The way I "reframe" it as having fun and being social, so I talk to everyone, she is just one of many girls I talk to. If nothing came of it, no big deal.

Which leads to the second problem, elicitation and counting of IOI's. As long as she's next to us, that's sufficient interest. We don't have to doubt who we are and just accept the fact, at least at our current level, not all girls will be interested, in fact, we should decide what kind of girls we want rather than feeling inadequate about who/what we are. The third problem is the failure to connect, because guys, especially those who got into this because of David D; they are so focused on being cocky & funny, teasing, engaging in endless banterrhea (you know the type, they shout gayass lines like, "YOU ARE SOOOOOOO CUTE!" to each other). In fact, I would constantly test the water but dragging the girl into talking about vulnerabilities, giving her the opportunity to share rather than shutting her up with more C&F teases.

One critical transition point is that as soon as we exchange names, I would immediately talk about something emotional for me recently. Don't be a hater, but I can think of two jobless friends; they bring up their unemployment in their normal conversations with girls all the time, and do you think girls run away? The trick is how they turn what is something all guys are insecure about, especially those computer programmers, these friends of mine don't have any job, and girls love how they are on these soul-searching existential quests! As I alluded to earlier, how I sometimes tell girls that I'm still working toward something greater, not that I am already settled at a job I like.

The three identity questions that I posted here before... Although I have some vague answers for them, those questions are something I forsee myself constantly changing and evolving new answers for the rest of my life, and probably the same with others. Feel free to bring them up in conversation, probably not in the beginning, but definitely right after we have discovered why we should like her (not just because of her look). My level of game has not evolved to the point where I can close the deal that night, but I am quite solid in terms of leading up to relationships if I don't fuck up along the way. I suspect that is due to my ability to show my vulnerabilities rather than hiding them as insecurities. Guys, who hide their intentions, are creepy and girls can tell right away. So if you have trouble opening, hooking, connecting, and maintaining relationships with people in general... ask yourself these questions, do I have something to hide? Am I honest with myself? With others? I'll probably have more bullshit to say as soon as I finish "Radical Honesty."