How to sell
I was just reading this and then I started writing a very long comment... So here's my response. Many, privately and publicly, have asked me why I appear so negative... especially in this blog. I can justify myself by repeating the cliche, "I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a realist." The reality is that Nixon was partly right, the silent majority rarely speaks up because they are happy/satisfied/content with their current position, why bother to rise up to defend the status quo.
In order to argue for a new idea, a new perspective on the same old problem, how men meet women, people have to bash the current system, take the red pill, unplug from the matrix. In fact, I am arguing for the status quo. There's really nothing inherently good or bad about how men and women meet and how they start relationships. So someone decided to apply some socio-psychology ideas to how we interact with each other, then marketeers came in to up-sell these simple ideas. Then these "pickup blogs" sprung up like weeds to create this feeding frenzy, like everyone and anyone can become a pickup artist, and of course, we all can get any girl anywhere at anytime.
The truth is... sure, we can talk to MANY MORE people and have sex with a much bigger population (for some "Captain Ahab Poo-ah" they they do hook up with bigger girls). However, what they don't tell you is, that's how it has always been. Girls go out, girls get drunk, girls hook up with random strangers, and if you keep talking with enough girls, you will go home with some of them. Are all girls like this? Not really. Since this is a numbers game, I have met some wonderful people, some girls who can be potential life-long mates, and some, I am ashame to admit to.
Back to pessimism, when someone wants to us to buy the latest and greatest self-improvement product, they of course have to point out weaknesses, flaws, what is wrong/bad about our current situation so that they can provide the solution to this problem. (In re-reading my entry, I realized that someone already pointed this out to me awhile back... it's the basic structure of advertising) This is the basis behind most products and most dramas (you know, movies, superheroes,... which I learned in middle school). The best way to solve any problem, isn't to buy more products, sign up more workshop/bootcamp, when the solution is really very simple, as a friend pointed out today, start doing. Just like the Nike catchy slogan, Just Do It. I prefer: Git'r'done!
We can spend an eternity dwelling on a problem, try to determine its etiology, monitor its progress, when all we have to do... is to start doing. We had a long conversation about inner game over the weekend, the problem is that people don't take the first step, get away from mentally masturbate over something and take steps to solve the problem. Most successful people are do'ers, they don't sit around and figure out ways to change their conditions, they act, they work, they make mistakes, they correct their mistakes, and they eventually improve.
This is the reason I keep going on and on about the negative aspects of the community. I want to point out that these are caution signs that we all can avoid. Go out there and start talking with people, you will hear great stories, you'll get some pointers from people, make some new friends, you will be happier than keep reading these pickup blogs and especially this "pessimistic" blog. The more we focus internally, we will conjure up more demons to wrestle.
Self-acceptance, quit trying to seek validation from people, (you know the saying, be yourself) this is really about being a normal social human being... unless, of course, you have something to sell, then it's inherent that you have to seek validation from others, and in the community, it's all about stroking other guys. The world isn't as bad as people say... it's quite nice. I'm glad I'm alive to enjoy this, because I have nothing to sell. Sorry.
2 comments:
correct me if i'm wrong, but i hope you didn't misconstrue my post to be anything related to pickup, because it isn't at all. but i have to say, i like your advice.
of course, you have to be more social in order to get laid more often, but there's the tendency to dip into the "soulless" sort of philandering where one goes from one mate to another, never getting close to being fulfilled in life. i suppose that's the ultimate goal: being fulfilled in one's life, right?
with that said, being socially acclimated might help one set their mind straight, but there's a whole slew of other problems that can only be solved by going through necessary life experiences, that, in many cases, hurt like hell to go through (examples number from a death in the family to getting out of a relationship to making life changing choices.)
it's too bad that the self-help industry (outside of pickup) has capitalized on some of those particularly painful life experiences, too. :)
thank you for your clarification. yes, i know you were not talking about pickup. pickup, self-improvement, and the broader context of trying to get people to read and hopefully accept new ideas, i.e. to sell something to people.
i try not to pass judgment on people, i think people who thrive on external validation... the "needy" type are ones who want to be good at pick up so badly... and continue to fail. while successful and internally motivated happy people take care of this area in their lives... easily.
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