The Secret

Yes, " The Secret" has been out for awhile now, so it's no big secret if everyone is talking about it. In my view, it's not about the Law of Attraction, positive thinking (i.e. reframing), and all those woo-woo bull, it's the same thing that (some of) our parents have been telling us when we were growing up.

One thing I like to do is to uncover things and get to the core. If someone wants something bad enough, s/he will get it. Another way of saying it is, as many have advised us, that we all must set goals and stick to them. That advice is great, but how do people actually go about implementing it?!

Setting realistic goals is the most important. Many people want to be pulling hottiesand slaying virgins... that's like a kid dreaming to be the first astronaut to land on Mars. Sure, for some, that's doable, but in order to get there, we have to sort out a few things.

Instead of trying to be a ladies man, how about being a people person? You know, that charismatic guy that people like, and if enough people like him, inevitably, some girls will be attracted to him. In order to be a people person, he must have friends. Not just male friends (you know, lair / community guys) who date, umm, "wing / sarge" with each other, I mean friends who enjoy being with each other, have fun in spite of and not in need of having girls around. As soon as girls see that they can be part of that social circle of great friends, they will be drawn to it and the entire group can be out having fun. Success building on smaller successes.

What I just described is what David Allen described in his "Getting Things Done"book, break down goals into steps that are actionable, i.e. a specific task that we can do instead of something murky and exists only in dreams. So instead of dreaming of superhotties in MLTRs, be practical, how about having many friends, and go do fun activities with friends. Cultivate a social circle of friends, friends who are not to get something from each other, but friends who enjoy being with each other and that friendship should not be built on getting girls, but true friendship.

The secret isn't about just dreams, or focus on only positives. The secret is about setting realistic goals, break down goals into tasks that are do-able, and to reach those goals, stop learning, stop scheming, stop thinking, but start doing!