Fake it until you make it

But if you keep faking it, you will never make it. I found the huge pitfall for many who keep gaming, is that they don't know when to stop and just be normal, or in community term, "overgaming." The problem is actually more profound and more deep-seated than what most perceive.

Here are a few things I fake, or at least, trick myself into believing:

1. If I were to go out by myself, which I highly recommend what everyone should do in the beginning, is to arrive at the venue, I think that I'm there only for a moment, and I'm there to wait for my friend. Being the social guy that I am, I would just hang out and talk to people around me. This will overcome the initial hurdle of having approach anxiety and for those into the community lingo, I build social proof at the same time.
2. At night, or any public gathering, I often think of everyone there is my guest and we are in my living room. Or in "urban terms," I own the fucking place.
3. During the day, I often get into the mindset of being a tourist from out of town, the way I approach "indirectly" often involves asking for direction, time, or what's cool to do.

Those are some things I fake regularly. But there are things I don't fake, this was brought up in a blog a few days ago, when he talked about emotional escalation. I agree that the community has a huge focus on getting girls, having sex, and for that, touching (or kino) is VERY important. Talking while touching is almost like a misdirection that magicians use. On the one hand, we are talking and having fun, and we breach the physical barrier of social norm by touching in places that people don't do... but please, not in a creepy way, which would require calibration. And it's not "accidental touching" but rather, we touch until we can sense her discomfort, we withdraw. Of course, we have to run our mouths in the process.

What exactly do we talk about while we are touching? That's the concurrent emotional escalation. There's no "ladder" per se, which I will touch upon in another blog entry. For now, the more important matter is that people should realize that we all need to feel this connection with each other. If they are normal well-adjusted human beings, they just want people to understand them and to accept them. Girls are no different, the difficulty is the path in arriving that emotional connection. Although sex is important, it should be a side-effect, a by-product, and it should not have the center stage that would color what we do.

The biggest barrier to emotional connection is that insincerity, when people sense that, they automatically withdraw. Be true to yourself. Befriend with those who deserve it.